Dad jokes - add yours

Remove this Banner Ad

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack.
 

Log in to remove this ad.

Fat people are lucky. They get to eat whatever they want and don’t have to worry about getting fat.
 
The inventor of autocorrect died. His funnel will be held tomato.
 
I haven't been well lately. Very tired, short tempered, cranky, impatient and generally hard to get along with. I googled my symptoms. Apparently I have kids.
 
In Barbados the cost of a slice of Blueberry Pie 🥧 is $1.50, while in Jamaica the cost of the same size slice of Blueberry Pie 🥧 is $2.00. In the Bahamas an equivalent piece of Blueberry Pie 🥧 will set you back $1.70.

These are understood to be the Pie-rates of the Caribbean. 👍 👍 👍
 
I hate it when you compliment a friend on the quality of their moustache and then she won't speak to you anymore.
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

Apologies but had to, from Mrs Krak:
1657794315717.png
 
A man was admitted to hospital today where Xrays discovered he had 22 plastic horses inserted in his rectum. Doctors have described his condition as stable.
 
Two Jamaicans (important for the accent) rock up at a fancy dress party, "Come dressed as your favourite emotion" said the invite.
They knock on the door, and the hostess answers. One fellow is naked but has his old fella in a bowl of custard, and his mate is also starkers but has his todger packed into a pear.
Hostess is in disbelief and asks WTF is going on "you're supposed to come dressed as an emotion"... the first guest answers, "well, aaah.. I am f*ckin discustard, and my friend here has come in dis pear".
 

Remove this Banner Ad

Dad jokes - add yours

Remove this Banner Ad

Back
Top