Health Depression

[Paul7890]

Compared to most in this thread I am relatively young (15) and seem to have signs of depression which really sucks

I find my main problem is loneliness, all holidays I have sat around and done nothing. Haven't gone out of the house once. Main problem seems to be friends. I don't have many, and speak to 2 friends online. From what I understand I am an introvert, but I would love to party if I got invited, I'm just so quiet that I can't get to know anyone. In the past have been shut down trying to meet new people and this is probably why.

I'm not close to my brother either, I say probably one sentence to him every day. Some of my friends know this and tell me its bad, but its just I have given up trying to speak to him since he seems to want to do his own thing and when I was younger whenever I was interested in doing something with him he would close me out because he wasn't interested.

Reading other peoples stories doesn't seem to help either. One person said how they regret not talking to their dad now hes gone. I relize now I've wasted 2 years playing games instead of spending time with my family, it makes me so sad knowing that

Job wise the future is pretty bright I am aware I have potential I just lack motivation. My main fear in life is being lonely all the time like right now, I'd love to meet a good chick one day of course, but its more just mates to hang with, you know, cool mates to hang with, go have a good time with, and at the moment I don't really have them. Since I'm young I'm hopeful I can meet knew people at TAFE and Uni.

I have been pondering going to the gym for some time now, it is literally across the road, just find myself worried to go in there as I'll be judged. And no maybe surprisingly I'm lucky enough that I'm not overweight, just lack confidence and have signs of depression.

Seems many people in this thread have recommended the gym so I guess I will go find myself a job so I can apply asap and hopefully it will help me out so thanks for that.

 

[exit]

I have been pondering going to the gym for some time now, it is literally across the road, just find myself worried to go in there as I'll be judged. And no maybe surprisingly I'm lucky enough that I'm not overweight, just lack confidence and have signs of depression.

People aren't going to judge you at the gym mate, most are focused on their own image/appearance. Just do what you gotta do mate and try not to give a f*** what other people think. I know that's not easy at your age, but seriously, go to the gym. Or get your own weights, punching bag, anything. Physical activity will make you feel better and confidence will grow. Don't sit in front of a computer all day. Get outside, get some sun, nature, fresh air into you.

 

[nicky]

Noddy, you'd be hurting a lot of people here on BF, me for one of them.
How is the job change going, any closer to something better than what you have now!

Me too

That's what's depressing me. At the end of last term the principal said that due to a decrease in student numbers we were overstaffed for next year and whether there were a couple of teachers who would be willing to move on. As I don't like it at my school I volunteered to move on and put in my resignation for the end of the end of the year. Over the last 4 weeks I have put in about thirty applications for teaching jobs. I have had about ten knockbacks so far. All the feedback is that they want graduate teachers because they are cheaper to employ. So I am getting very despondent and disheartened.

I have two mortgages, the one I'm living in and an investment property that is negatively geared. I probably have enough money in the bank to last me a month without work. I would happily sell my investment property but my mum, a pensioner, is living in it, so I would be putting her out of her home if I sold it.

I would take a job overseas but I have two dogs and it would break my heart to give them away.

The only option really open to me at the moment is to go and teach in the Northern Territory where there are a heap of job opportunities for teachers and great money. But I think I would only be able to handle living there for a year or two so it doesn't solve my problems in the long run. It would only give me more experience for schools in Victoria to knock back.
The other option is to move into Melbourne and just do casual relief teaching. However I don't think casual teaching would be enough money to support two mortgages, especially since you don't get paid during the holidays, Unless I got an evening or night job as well.

I am just really scared I am going to end up without work next year and lose my houses. It doesn’t really bother me losing my houses as I'm on my own but I just hate the thought of putting my mum out of her home.

Keep applying.

My dad's school closed down a few years ago and one of his colleagues got a sweet lucrative job at the catholic university in east Melbourne.

Look at options outside of schools as well if you're desperate to stay in melbourne and keep your houses?

As WTL said, the worst case scenario isn't that bad.

Can I also suggest that you look up Jon kabat zinn. He is a philospher who runs a stress reduction clinic which focuses on mindfulness. He's brilliant. I have one of his cd's which includes a mindfulness meditation.

 

[the fly]

Compared to most in this thread I am relatively young (15) and seem to have signs of depression which really sucks

I find my main problem is loneliness, all holidays I have sat around and done nothing. Haven't gone out of the house once. Main problem seems to be friends. I don't have many, and speak to 2 friends online. From what I understand I am an introvert, but I would love to party if I got invited, I'm just so quiet that I can't get to know anyone. In the past have been shut down trying to meet new people and this is probably why.

I'm not close to my brother either, I say probably one sentence to him every day. Some of my friends know this and tell me its bad, but its just I have given up trying to speak to him since he seems to want to do his own thing and when I was younger whenever I was interested in doing something with him he would close me out because he wasn't interested.

Reading other peoples stories doesn't seem to help either. One person said how they regret not talking to their dad now hes gone. I relize now I've wasted 2 years playing games instead of spending time with my family, it makes me so sad knowing that

Job wise the future is pretty bright I am aware I have potential I just lack motivation. My main fear in life is being lonely all the time like right now, I'd love to meet a good chick one day of course, but its more just mates to hang with, you know, cool mates to hang with, go have a good time with, and at the moment I don't really have them. Since I'm young I'm hopeful I can meet knew people at TAFE and Uni.

I have been pondering going to the gym for some time now, it is literally across the road, just find myself worried to go in there as I'll be judged. And no maybe surprisingly I'm lucky enough that I'm not overweight, just lack confidence and have signs of depression.

Seems many people in this thread have recommended the gym so I guess I will go find myself a job so I can apply asap and hopefully it will help me out so thanks for that.

Turn the clock back 15 years and that was me. Things haven't really improved in my situation either.

 

[Unrivaled Mach]

Compared to most in this thread I am relatively young (15) and seem to have signs of depression which really sucks

I find my main problem is loneliness, all holidays I have sat around and done nothing. Haven't gone out of the house once. Main problem seems to be friends. I don't have many, and speak to 2 friends online. From what I understand I am an introvert, but I would love to party if I got invited, I'm just so quiet that I can't get to know anyone. In the past have been shut down trying to meet new people and this is probably why.

I'm not close to my brother either, I say probably one sentence to him every day. Some of my friends know this and tell me its bad, but its just I have given up trying to speak to him since he seems to want to do his own thing and when I was younger whenever I was interested in doing something with him he would close me out because he wasn't interested.

Reading other peoples stories doesn't seem to help either. One person said how they regret not talking to their dad now hes gone. I relize now I've wasted 2 years playing games instead of spending time with my family, it makes me so sad knowing that

Job wise the future is pretty bright I am aware I have potential I just lack motivation. My main fear in life is being lonely all the time like right now, I'd love to meet a good chick one day of course, but its more just mates to hang with, you know, cool mates to hang with, go have a good time with, and at the moment I don't really have them. Since I'm young I'm hopeful I can meet knew people at TAFE and Uni.

I have been pondering going to the gym for some time now, it is literally across the road, just find myself worried to go in there as I'll be judged. And no maybe surprisingly I'm lucky enough that I'm not overweight, just lack confidence and have signs of depression.

Seems many people in this thread have recommended the gym so I guess I will go find myself a job so I can apply asap and hopefully it will help me out so thanks for that.

I know how you feel, I was 14 when I had symptoms of depression with eerily similar characteristics to yours (Playing games/introverted/not getting out of the house). Ironically, my motivation was to improve my grades simply as a way to get my mind off it and maintaining some form of fitness as it prevented my feelings from hitting rock bottom so going to the gym is definitely a good idea

Luckily, I have a strong relationship with my sister/mum and it was always good to have someone to talk to when you're feeling down.

Just don't get in the habit of isolating yourself, I did that for a while and it didn't help my confidence at all and it was also hard to communicate with others due to my shy/introverted personality.

Started my first year of Uni this year and it's definitely something to look forward to, met a bunch of great people with similar interests.

You just got to push through this period, it WILL get better.

 

[GreatBradScott]

The honesty of this thread is commendable. And I feel, among company. That I'm not alone.

This year, has been shit. To say the least. People dying, relationships destroyed, repeatedly betrayed.

Year 12, on my way to Uni next year, and I do think a change is gonna come.

But, some days I forget that, I feel as if I lose all faith and confidence in myself. My school work suffers, I can't sleep or concentrate. Exams are in 2 and a half weeks, and I fear that I won't get the amount of work done.
(Even though I spent 4 hours after school studying, I feel that it's not enough)

I don't really trust people that I thought I could anymore. They lied, they essentially backstabbed me, and essentially mock me.
It makes it easier that the friends you thought you had, were friends you never actually had at all. Friends don't do these kinds of things.
They want to see me fail. And I can't.

My self-esteem and confidence is shot. I know I'm clever, and I'm more than capable, it's just I have no one to talk to and school is living hell.
Sucidial thoughts were a long time ago, maybe a year. I'm not at that point again, and I never will be, because I know a change is going to come. I just want to say, I thank you for sharing. Your strength and honesty helped me tonight, reading the support, advice and honesty you all give each other.
And I just wonder, what motivates you when you feel low? Is it a song, a quote? A saying? A story?

 

[WCErevival]

School is crap because of the social levels. If you're down the bottom of the tree then life is going to be hard. Out of school is a totally different ball game. You get a clean slate so to speak. Most people tend to grow up too.

Funny when you get older you realise how insignificant school was.

 

[OWTSaints]

The honesty of this thread is commendable. And I feel, among company. That I'm not alone.

This year, has been shit. To say the least. People dying, relationships destroyed, repeatedly betrayed.

Year 12, on my way to Uni next year, and I do think a change is gonna come.

But, some days I forget that, I feel as if I lose all faith and confidence in myself. My school work suffers, I can't sleep or concentrate. Exams are in 2 and a half weeks, and I fear that I won't get the amount of work done.
(Even though I spent 4 hours after school studying, I feel that it's not enough)

I don't really trust people that I thought I could anymore. They lied, they essentially backstabbed me, and essentially mock me.
It makes it easier that the friends you thought you had, were friends you never actually had at all. Friends don't do these kinds of things.
They want to see me fail. And I can't.

My self-esteem and confidence is shot. I know I'm clever, and I'm more than capable, it's just I have no one to talk to and school is living hell.
Sucidial thoughts were a long time ago, maybe a year. I'm not at that point again, and I never will be, because I know a change is going to come. I just want to say, I thank you for sharing. Your strength and honesty helped me tonight, reading the support, advice and honesty you all give each other.
And I just wonder, what motivates you when you feel low? Is it a song, a quote? A saying? A story?

I'm in a bit of the same situation. Last 12 months hasn't been fun. Dad had a heart attack, uncle had a stroke, capped off with sudden cancer to my grandmother who died 3 months later. Even though that ordeal ended quite a while ago (end of March) I still feel it. It really really scared me how things can change like that in such a short amount of time.

Add onto that the stresses that come with year 12, doing a few tough subjects including Specialist maths, and I've repeatedly thought I wouldn't get through it. I've developed over the past few years a solid group of 3 close mates in school, and a few outside of school. Even though I have a reasonable base, I'm becoming increasingly annoyed at my school mates, who I feel like take the shit out of me at any opportunity. I know that's what mates tend to do, but when it seems to be happening to only me and they back each other up it makes you feel like shit. I've got a week of schoolies to come after school with these mates, and while I can't wait, I'm just hoping that we all get along fine without it getting me to boiling point. Not having to spend every day with them next year will probably be a fresh change.

So with the stresses of exams coming up, I'm not feeling the best right now. I just want to put my head down for the next month, do as well as I can, and come out the other side happy.

My primary source of motivation is the idea that if I don't do as well as I want, and I know I could have done more, I will be very annoyed at myself. Remember, millions of people have gone through what we are now. You're not alone, the majority of year 12 students can not be f**ked right now. Be one of those that can stick through this, and you'll come out the other side. A month is a very short amount of time.

 

[sighclone]

Anti despressants turn you into a zombie, they are just a masking agent.

It's hard trying to get on with your life each day but you do it. Try thinking about family & friends who will be devasted if you end your life, they will be left feeling guilty that they didn't pick up on your depression & help you.

Last thing I want to do, is leave my family & friends with that guilt, as hard as it is to keep going sometimes.

They work for some, even over a longer period of time. Depression seems like hell, but it's all just passing thoughts.

 

[sighclone]

School is crap because of the social levels. If you're down the bottom of the tree then life is going to be hard. Out of school is a totally different ball game. You get a clean slate so to speak. Most people tend to grow up too.

Funny when you get older you realise how insignificant school was.

I never felt depressed at school, even when I hated it. Is this a new craze?

 

[JD11]

Compared to most in this thread I am relatively young (15) and seem to have signs of depression which really sucks

I find my main problem is loneliness, all holidays I have sat around and done nothing. Haven't gone out of the house once. Main problem seems to be friends. I don't have many, and speak to 2 friends online. From what I understand I am an introvert, but I would love to party if I got invited, I'm just so quiet that I can't get to know anyone. In the past have been shut down trying to meet new people and this is probably why.

I'm not close to my brother either, I say probably one sentence to him every day. Some of my friends know this and tell me its bad, but its just I have given up trying to speak to him since he seems to want to do his own thing and when I was younger whenever I was interested in doing something with him he would close me out because he wasn't interested.

Reading other peoples stories doesn't seem to help either. One person said how they regret not talking to their dad now hes gone. I relize now I've wasted 2 years playing games instead of spending time with my family, it makes me so sad knowing that

Job wise the future is pretty bright I am aware I have potential I just lack motivation. My main fear in life is being lonely all the time like right now, I'd love to meet a good chick one day of course, but its more just mates to hang with, you know, cool mates to hang with, go have a good time with, and at the moment I don't really have them. Since I'm young I'm hopeful I can meet knew people at TAFE and Uni.

I have been pondering going to the gym for some time now, it is literally across the road, just find myself worried to go in there as I'll be judged. And no maybe surprisingly I'm lucky enough that I'm not overweight, just lack confidence and have signs of depression.

Seems many people in this thread have recommended the gym so I guess I will go find myself a job so I can apply asap and hopefully it will help me out so thanks for that.

Woah, this sounds so much like me at 15 it's ridiculous. I even lived across the road from a gym. Difference being, I had a sister not a brother and was close to my dad.

Anyway, I used to be quiet and not really strongly in a social circle at school. But, over the summer holidays at the end of year 9 I just had a revelation and thought, I don't need to be quiet, I don't want to be quiet. Why am I quiet? People like me when I'm not, so don't be quiet. It's all in the mind.

By the time I turned 16 i was going out with mates every saturday and actually enjoying being a teenager. You have the power, buddy. Don't ever doubt yourself.

 

[alfy!]

Can you go to a therapist or psychologist out of the blue, bulk billed? Or do you go through your GP?

 

[HARKER]

I worked for two of the big four banks, and possibly the largest global finance company in the world for about 6 years. The environment was killing me, so i had to get out. Unfortunately I jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire by moving into private health insurance. What a mistake.

I had always suffered from pretty crippling depression to that point, but working in those above mentioned areas broke me. I remember the day it all fell apart quite well.

I was running a couple of minutes late (again) and knew 'it was going to screw up my stats'. I was about to walk through the the front door, when I stopped and stood there for about 5 minutes just looking up at the building. Then I did an about face and started walking the other way. I walked around the city for 9 hours.

It was only when a mate called and asked me to meet him at the pub that I stopped. When I caught up with him I had never felt so empty. I had lost my passion for the things I loved (even football), I did not know what the hell I was going to do with myself from that point on, and frankly at that stage I didn't care.

I just knew I couldn't go back. I never worked another day in that place.

That wasn't rock bottom though, over the next few months things got worse. But once I hit it, things almost immediately started to look up.

Without going into the mundane details, I got some help, found out a few things, sorted a few other things out, and now very rarely suffer from the chronic depression that had owned me for years (and even then I have to be very tired and hungover lol)

These days I make not even half the money I used to make in what is the epitome of a dead end job and i've never been happier.

One thing i've learned in life is that money, when you have it, can make you happy. But money cannot buy happiness. I'd rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable.

You sound like a cool guy, krisholio.
Even moreso than that, you may well be an honest person and by that I mean honest to yourself.

Sounds so easy doesn't it, but guaranteed that it is not.
Many of our problems stem from wanting to impress people and to fit into others' expectations, yet when you really think about it, it just seems so silly.

Yes, depression targets 1 in 4 of us, yet god it helps when you admit that you're not alone and give yourself the opportunity to understand your ailment.
It is not something that comes about by choice, nor by gods punishment.
It just happens and it can be dealt with.

 

[RW]

Can you go to a therapist or psychologist out of the blue, bulk billed? Or do you go through your GP?

Go to your GP first, and ask about the Mental Health Plan. Your GP can refer you to a psychologist, and you can get back some of the consultation fees from Medicare. I don't think psychologists bulk bill, but you pay them upfront and they will claim the Medicare benefits on your behalf.

 

[HARKER]

Go to your GP first, and ask about the Mental Health Plan. Your GP can refer you to a psychologist, and you can get back some of the consultation fees from Medicare. I don't think psychologists bulk bill, but you pay them upfront and they will claim the Medicare benefits on your behalf.

May I suggest this?

Do go and see someone, but do understand that they're not the only one.
You don't like the new dentist, you move on. You don't like the local mecahnic, you move on.

No different with a psychologist.
Shop around until you feel comfortable and trusting in what they have to offer.

 

[nicky]

The most important thing you do is breath. Concentrate on that as much as you can for the next year, and you will see results.

Being aware of your breathing is the best thing you can do for yourself.

 

[demondude]

Not sure if anyone has posted regarding Movember.

I've decided to grow a mo' for Movember. As apart of two fantastic causes for awareness for Men's Health and BeyondBlue, a charity I have raised money for in the past.

I would encourage anyone out there to either donate to a great cause, or get involved.

Here's my Movember if anyone feel's the need to add to the kitty!
http://au.movember.com/mospace/1814846/

 

[_RT_]

About 4 months ago I had a massive meltdown and was finally diagnosed as suffering from severe depression. After a decade of fighting to give my kids who both have Autism every chance in life I had hit the wall and just couldn't be bothered fighting anymore. I was constantly having thoughts about ending it all and with my father also having committed suicide when I was not much older than my oldest son it did at time appear to be the best way out.

However I decided to give it one last crack and reached out to a service that my work provides where I get access to a councillor for free. This enabled me to talk about the issues I was facing and that started to turn things around for us. I also reached out to a few close friends and asked them to be my support group that I could turn to just to vent about things when I felt that I was getting overwhelmed. I was also put onto anti depressants. The first ones I was put on were too strong and I felt like I was becoming a zombie. I was switched onto a different brand that weren't as strong and since then I have felt so much better. However I do notice the difference when I don't take them to when I do. Without the tablets I am much more snappy and easily set off. With the tablets I am able to deal with things much more rationally.

Fast forward to now and we have recently sold out house and are in the process of moving to a new area where both my kids will get to go to school in a P-12 specialist school where they will both get access to normal as well as specialist schooling. Things at work have picked up and so to have things at home not just with the kids but also with Mrs RT.

So the advice I would like to pass onto those of you also going through this is to not give up and make the hardest step of all and reach out to people and start talking. People can't help you if they don't know or realise that something is wrong. I found that as soon as I started talking to people and explaining why I was behaving the way I was, they were much more understanding and supportive. Its with this understanding and support that you can start to turn things around.

 

[HARKER]

So the advice I would like to pass onto those of you also going through this is to not give up and make the hardest step of all and reach out to people and start talking. People can't help you if they don't know or realise that something is wrong. I found that as soon as I started talking to people and explaining why I was behaving the way I was, they were much more understanding and supportive. Its with this understanding and support that you can start to turn things around.

Great advice RT.
Like anything else in life; once you take the mystery out of it and begin to understand it, it just makes things so much easier to deal with.

 

[talktopaul]

I agree. If nothing else these messages show that depression is common, and that people's mood fluctuates over time.

I think WHAT you do to manage your depression is probably less important that you do SOMETHING and get others involved in the process.

 

[ParisBoy.]

Have been reading this thread for sometime and havent really known to input. but something occured last week and thought of this thread straight away.

This kid, only 17, my brother knew him, cant say they were friends just went to the same parties, etc. This guy was 17 turning 18 this saturday, doing year 12, school captain of a well known inner city catholic school. school captain of his primary school, had alot of friends, nicest bloke. stories ive heard - for example in year 9 - 10, if this kid saw you alone on the train or sitting by yourself he would talk to you, make you feel comfortable. lists goes on. well last wednesday was the last day for year 12 students, this guy went out partying with his school mates, he left the party his mates were calling him, posting on his facebook wall, wondering where he went. the next morning his mum found him in the backyard, he committed suicide.

know one really knows why he did it, why now? hes finished school, hes been studying his ass off for months on end, all the hard work behind him just needs to do exams, hes about to start the rest of his life in a way! turning 18 in a week, kind of weird thinking that the cohort he has led this year have been left with this.

very sad and thats why i posted here, this has effected me and i do not even know the kid. just makes you relize how many people suffer from depression and want to end it all, and it could be anyone.

 

[nicky]

Have been reading this thread for sometime and havent really known to input. but something occured last week and thought of this thread straight away.

This kid, only 17, my brother knew him, cant say they were friends just went to the same parties, etc. This guy was 17 turning 18 this saturday, doing year 12, school captain of a well known inner city catholic school. school captain of his primary school, had alot of friends, nicest bloke. stories ive heard - for example in year 9 - 10, if this kid saw you alone on the train or sitting by yourself he would talk to you, make you feel comfortable. lists goes on. well last wednesday was the last day for year 12 students, this guy went out partying with his school mates, he left the party his mates were calling him, posting on his facebook wall, wondering where he went. the next morning his mum found him in the backyard, he committed suicide.

know one really knows why he did it, why now? hes finished school, hes been studying his ass off for months on end, all the hard work behind him just needs to do exams, hes about to start the rest of his life in a way! turning 18 in a week, kind of weird thinking that the cohort he has led this year have been left with this.

very sad and thats why i posted here, this has effected me and i do not even know the kid. just makes you relize how many people suffer from depression and want to end it all, and it could be anyone.

That is extremely sad. I'm sure he could have had 1000 people beg to help him had they have known. So sad.

He probably didn't realise the impact he had on people, ie. didn't know how well liked he was.

Anyway suicide in Australia (especially young guys) is far too high

 

[krisholio14]

The most important thing you do is breath. Concentrate on that as much as you can for the next year, and you will see results.

Being aware of your breathing is the best thing you can do for yourself.

It's funny you should say that.

As a shift worker, I have a lot of trouble sleeping most of the time, so I went to the docs last week, and after a bit of a chat she's referred me to see a shrink.

As it pans out, it's not depression that's been the underlying problem for me all my life. It has been anxiety. My issues with depression have been borne out of that.

It had never dawned on me this was the case until now, despite the fact I know i've had a few stress issues over the years. But I thought it was depression first, stress second, not the other way around, and that it wasn't just stress, it was something far deeper than that.

 

[nicky]

It's fabulous that you've had some insight into it and seem to be positive that you know more about what is going on? yeah

I've been with this guy for 2 years now and was in love with him (we're in the process of breaking up - which is ok). Anyway, one of the reasons I fell in love with him was he mentioned my breathing and that I was doing it shallowly. I've been concentrating on becoming better at breathing for 2 years now and the results are that I feel more peaceful, have much less anxiety and released alot of sadness/anger.

 

[krisholio14]

Yeah i've known for a while I should probably get into some relaxation/meditation because my breathing is extremely shallow. Being a smoker only makes it worse.

I'm looking forward to seeing the shrink actually. I'm sick of living my life curled up in this tight, painful little ball all the time.