Health Depression

[nicky]

That's really great.

I highly recommend breathing meditations

 

[Ed_Gein]

as of 3 weeks ago

i am on mirtazapine.

i also take diazapam.

 

[Hatchy1992]

My brother is going from grade 11 into 12 next year and he's been suffering from depression for years. pretty much since grade 8 I think.

We've been doing all we can to help him and we recently got him on some medication from a local GP but it hasn't been helping all that much. We've been trying to help him in other ways too but he just pushes us away when we do. Doesn't help with him getting a hard time at school about it either.

He's recently just changed social group at school, he says he's much happier now than before but they still won't help him that much.

Anyone have any tips about how we could help him through it especially entering his final year of high school? Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks.

 

[Toriola]

I think it's a growing problem in all highly developed countries. Once all the important problems are solved, society gets bored and depressed. They turn to TV, but it's just as horrible as anything and leaves you more depressed in the long run. Nietzsche foresaw this, and said it is a hurdle we will have to overcome, as we realize that there is no inherent meaning to the universe, other than the meaning that we create for ourselves. Social spending helps the most I think.

 

[Lemma]

I'd imagine it would be a really hard thing to talk to your friends and peers about

 

[Contra Mundum]

School is crap because of the social levels. If you're down the bottom of the tree then life is going to be hard. Out of school is a totally different ball game. You get a clean slate so to speak. Most people tend to grow up too.

Funny when you get older you realise how insignificant school was.

True. I just went to a school reunion and it's amazing how few schoolyard heroes kick on in life.

 

[Black Diamond]

Im just turning 18 in a few weeks, finished school last year. I do miss my friends although I dont know if I had any friends. For 5 years I was with them we were friends but I think school friends. I never did invite them over and miss them and it is 'depressing' I am quite lonely and do blame myself for not trying harder. I didnt go out much with them every weekend and my whole year group in fact weren't really tight as so such as go to a mates house and have a pissup.

I do miss the fun times we had and shared. It is sad and I feel sad. Every morning when I wake up I have that sense of regret and would do anything to take it back and start all over again.

I know what you mean, mate. I'm 3 years older than you and still haven't really got a solution. I found it really hard to make new friends at uni and break in to any groups and lost contact with high school friends before I realised anything was wrong. Try getting to know people through footy, cricket, or another sport or activity you're interested in. Disclaimer that I didn't have too much success like this.

The most important thing you do is breath. Concentrate on that as much as you can for the next year, and you will see results.

Being aware of your breathing is the best thing you can do for yourself.

This is pretty important. It's all part of being in the moment and being within your body as opposed to the past or future.

Don't know if it has been mentioned, but The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman both shed a lot of light on this matter. I'd highly recommend them.

 

[SA1NTER]

I wish the people in this thread the best of luck with their depression.

I suffer from it too so I know what it feels like, things do get better with time and medication though, so keep your heads up.

 

[TheFreshBanana]

Im just turning 18 in a few weeks, finished school last year. I do miss my friends although I dont know if I had any friends. For 5 years I was with them we were friends but I think school friends. I never did invite them over and miss them and it is 'depressing' I am quite lonely and do blame myself for not trying harder. I didnt go out much with them every weekend and my whole year group in fact weren't really tight as so such as go to a mates house and have a pissup.

I do miss the fun times we had and shared. It is sad and I feel sad. Every morning when I wake up I have that sense of regret and would do anything to take it back and start all over again.

Completely understand what your going through mate.

Almost the same thing is happening/happened to me right now. I've been on crutches for about 8 months now and almost all aspects of my life have deteriorated. The worst of all is my social life. I had a good core number of 5-6 friends due to the fact that we all lived near each other, it was truly great and I am forever grateful for having met them in Year 8 because I was/am shy when in contact with acquaintances/new people (almost like a completely different person).

Never really bothered me, due to this group of friends, up to this point but this year has been total shit. It already begun at the start of the year, our group was dispersing and all my friends were moving on to other friendships at school, and then I was stuck with crutches for 8 months. Am now off the crutches but it feels like I was in prison for 8 months, got out and now everything's changed and I don't know what to do.

What also doesn't help is that I definitely changed as a person in that 8 months period and now I don't feel comfortable with ANYONE at my school.

I know what you mean, mate. I'm 3 years older than you and still haven't really got a solution. I found it really hard to make new friends at uni and break in to any groups and lost contact with high school friends before I realised anything was wrong. Try getting to know people through footy, cricket, or another sport or activity you're interested in. Disclaimer that I didn't have too much success like this.

I can 100% relate to this too.

I've never been a "loner" because past the shy stage, once I feel comfortable with someone I can get along very well with them. But the biggest flaw I have is that I can never maintain relationships after a change. Every single year since I began to move schools in year 5, I've had to make a new set of friends every single year (apart from 2009, 2010).

I'm determined to make the best of 2012, because to be frank I'm not sure what I'll do with myself if I have a repeat of 2011. After reading a lot of this thread, I am extremely compassionate to the people who suffer from depression and, no offense, pray that I never suffer from it.

Sorry for writing such a long post, I've been bottling this up for 8 months now and it's great to have some sort of release.

 

[BarneyBent]

Had a pretty bad turn a few days ago. Hit the St John's Wort and it's a bit better now, maybe even just from the feeling of doing something about it, but still feel pretty dulled and shaky.

You feel like you want to cry, but you can't. It's like you need to sneeze but it just won't come.

 

[nicky]

Had a pretty bad turn a few days ago. Hit the St John's Wort and it's a bit better now, maybe even just from the feeling of doing something about it, but still feel pretty dulled and shaky.

You feel like you want to cry, but you can't. It's like you need to sneeze but it just won't come.

Yes I know that feeling.

Read up on 'mindfulness'

 

[Saints1873]

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6char

 

[Silent Alarm]

Im just turning 18 in a few weeks, finished school last year. I do miss my friends although I dont know if I had any friends. For 5 years I was with them we were friends but I think school friends. I never did invite them over and miss them and it is 'depressing' I am quite lonely and do blame myself for not trying harder. I didnt go out much with them every weekend and my whole year group in fact weren't really tight as so such as go to a mates house and have a pissup.

I do miss the fun times we had and shared. It is sad and I feel sad. Every morning when I wake up I have that sense of regret and would do anything to take it back and start all over again.

I resonate with this so much. I came to this thread to vent. To exhume my feelings. To exhale.

I finished school in early November. I live in a town in WA, so I'll move to university in Perth. So I'm in this transitional period. Metaphorically, this holiday break is for change.

I've always been really social. I had a lot of mates in primary school. High school was barely different. I met a lot of different people, and so my pool of friends grew. High school often felt quite hard. Though I was never depressed, I did feel low. This would last a night, then I'd go to school, and spend the next three months happy. I was just like every other teenage boy.

Late last year, I fell out with a lot of my friends. We didn't have melodramatic fights. We changed. Like most sixteen year olds, our interests shifted, and so too did our personality. I found myself interested in different things. I absorbed culture, literature, music, art. The things not offered in a country town. The year 11/12 holidays were very boring. Summer days spent indoors. It was boredom that got me down. This changing continued in year 12.

I have one great friend, and we both feel the same. But he was home schooled, and comes from a 'different' family. They're not ultra-religious (quite the contrary) or conservative. They just belong to this different, more open echelon of values. So we don't see each other out of school. I think we each have this mutual, unspoken understanding. I'd be worse off without the company of someone like that.

So I've finished school, and I feel very much alone. Sitting inside every single day. I talk to my dad, a huge friend of mine, every day. But that's it. Everyone went to Leavers Week. Nobody invited me, despite my forward intentions and huge implications - you never say "please let me come!", but I may as well have. So I went to Melbourne with my girlfriend, and had a really good time. But I still feel alone, and left out. As immature, naive, and teenage as it is, I just feel lonely. And it is embarrassing to accept that petty high school friendship (or a lack of) has created this.

I feel so bored. I waste every single day, and I will. I will not see anyone but my girlfriend these holidays. I'm envious of her as well - of her friends, of her ability to go out. I'm actually jealous. I feel so terrible telling her this, but I have to be honest.

There's basically a mentality of everyone having fun vs. me alone at home. But it makes me feel so, so terrible.

I also have to break up with my girlfriend in late February. She's having a gap year. She's staying in town for six months, then travelling for the rest of the year. And I just don't think a high school relationship will, and can, carry over to university. We have to both accept that these two years together have been so beneficial and pretty unforgettable. I love her and she probably feels the same. And although our impending break up makes sense, it's still so hard to think about.

Come late February, I hope this is over.

I'm sorry for such a long, self-obsessed post. I just needed to say something, to articulate (poorly) these thoughts.

 

[deeman12]

Chin-up Silent Alarm. I'm not surprised that you're feeling a bit lost in your life at the moment. During your schooling, your life was regimented for 13 years and you're always doing the same shit and seeing the same people all the time. That's going to change and your world is just about to open up.

You'll go to uni, make friends that you actually want to be friends with and enter into a sick world a million miles away from your small town. It's funny because during school I was ultra close with a lot of friends and I thought we'd make more of an effort when we finished. I haven't seen one of my closest school friends 2 years after graduating and we live in the same city. I only keep in close contact with one school friend and he's more like a brother than anything. People grow apart and I anticipate that I'll eventually grow apart from the new friendships that I've made.

The future is bright for you man.

 

[Lemma]

The end of school is so much more the beginning of something new than the end of school

 

[policegetthatman]

I resonate with this so much. I came to this thread to vent. To exhume my feelings. To exhale.

I finished school in early November. I live in a town in WA, so I'll move to university in Perth. So I'm in this transitional period. Metaphorically, this holiday break is for change.

I've always been really social. I had a lot of mates in primary school. High school was barely different. I met a lot of different people, and so my pool of friends grew. High school often felt quite hard. Though I was never depressed, I did feel low. This would last a night, then I'd go to school, and spend the next three months happy. I was just like every other teenage boy.

Late last year, I fell out with a lot of my friends. We didn't have melodramatic fights. We changed. Like most sixteen year olds, our interests shifted, and so too did our personality. I found myself interested in different things. I absorbed culture, literature, music, art. The things not offered in a country town. The year 11/12 holidays were very boring. Summer days spent indoors. It was boredom that got me down. This changing continued in year 12.

I have one great friend, and we both feel the same. But he was home schooled, and comes from a 'different' family. They're not ultra-religious (quite the contrary) or conservative. They just belong to this different, more open echelon of values. So we don't see each other out of school. I think we each have this mutual, unspoken understanding. I'd be worse off without the company of someone like that.

So I've finished school, and I feel very much alone. Sitting inside every single day. I talk to my dad, a huge friend of mine, every day. But that's it. Everyone went to Leavers Week. Nobody invited me, despite my forward intentions and huge implications - you never say "please let me come!", but I may as well have. So I went to Melbourne with my girlfriend, and had a really good time. But I still feel alone, and left out. As immature, naive, and teenage as it is, I just feel lonely. And it is embarrassing to accept that petty high school friendship (or a lack of) has created this.

I feel so bored. I waste every single day, and I will. I will not see anyone but my girlfriend these holidays. I'm envious of her as well - of her friends, of her ability to go out. I'm actually jealous. I feel so terrible telling her this, but I have to be honest.

There's basically a mentality of everyone having fun vs. me alone at home. But it makes me feel so, so terrible.

I also have to break up with my girlfriend in late February. She's having a gap year. She's staying in town for six months, then travelling for the rest of the year. And I just don't think a high school relationship will, and can, carry over to university. We have to both accept that these two years together have been so beneficial and pretty unforgettable. I love her and she probably feels the same. And although our impending break up makes sense, it's still so hard to think about.

Come late February, I hope this is over.

I'm sorry for such a long, self-obsessed post. I just needed to say something, to articulate (poorly) these thoughts.

I can resonate with this.

Up until Year 9 I had a good group of friends. I was never really keen on parties but I was still invited to them and went along happily. However, in year 9, anxiety slowly crept into my life due to a number of reasons, though nothing more than what the common teenager faces.
As time went on it never improved, only got worse and I purposely started to live a lonely life at home... never going anywhere outside of school. I wasn't too fussed about it as I was never really that type of 'social creature' prior to the anxiety.
I took this time to ponder what I really wanted to achieve in life and what things I must value to ensure happiness.

Fastforward a year. Dad left. I am depressed and living a sad life for a 16 year old. No longer talking to my parents, or anyone, despite my mum's attempts. Everything is rinse and repeat, family is poor and somehow I believe I am to blame for it.
I made up excuses to get out of school, and when I went, I would always be alone during classes; only interacting with limited friends at lunch time. My school marks dropped, which was something I always took pride in. It was the red flag for me that something mentally is seriously wrong with me.
I began wondering about death and what it meant for me. I had always wondered why people could possibly take their own lives, and now I know. I would spend hours at night just thinking about death although I knew I would never attempt suicide.

But to me, the most frightening part of it was that I was content with my life. I convinced myself that this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life, and I may as well live it for what it's worth.
Then just like that, I completely gave up on people entirely, never wanting anything to do with them ever again. This mindset continued on for 6 months.

Currently, I'm not as low as before but still very fragile. School was the ultimate reason for my decline and heading into my final year, I'm certain it wont be as bad as this year.

Anxiety is still very much dominating my life, as is depression.

 

[La Dispute]

Can really relate to a lot of those sentiments Silent Alarm.

This was my first year at uni after having completed school last year and I spent much of my time alone. After working hard in Year 12 I got the ATAR score required to get into my preffered course at uni, however I forgot to pay the administration fee and as a result wasn't offered a place anywhere. I had to enrole at another uni, further away and apart from my friends, who mostly got in to where I wanted to attend (Melbourne Uni).

I haven't met anybody I'd call a friend yet; a couple of acquintances perhaps but nothing more than that. Also have a couple of mates I have since learnt attend the same uni, but unfortunately we are doing completely different courses and don't see each other often.

Have really got into hockey this year though and fortunately I've become better mates with a number of the guys at the club. Really didn't expect that to come about so I see that as a bit of a blessing.

Ironically I'm starting to make friends with a few of mates friends through a few parties and casual get-togethers.

Hoping next year is a bit more balanced.

 

[Lemma]

Why don't you transfer to Melbourne (assuming you've got the marks in 1st year)?

 

[La Dispute]

Why don't you transfer to Melbourne (assuming you've got the marks in 1st year)?

I will be next year.

I didn't work hard at all this year and as a result my marks are fairly sub-standard.

 

[Ed_Gein]

Anyone here have experience with Benzos?

I am on Mirtazapine for Severe depression and anxiety but apart from making me eat lollies by the kilo it doesn't really help.

The doc has given me a script for Diazepam and it seems to do a good job with the anxiety (i've only had 3 doses) but i'm scared to take it in case I get hooked on it.

Tempted to throw them out and try another AD, the last thing I need is an addiction.

i'm on mirtazapine too and thats one of the side effects of it. increased apetite and helps you sleep. i have always been underweight really and i've stacked on 12-13kg's in 7 or 8 weeks due to the amount i'm eating because of the mirtazapine.

i also take diazepam. ill get really anxious and the likes and docs will give me some upon request. its only a low dosage, and personally its not addictive at all. can imagine people taking it regularly and a larger dosage having trouble coming off it though, if it's true that it can be addictive.

 

[sixteenstraws]

i've been feeling pretty depressed lately and kinda need to vent so this might be a bit long i don't expect anyone to actually read all of it.

i was diagnosed with social anxiety when i was 12 (year 6).

mid way through the school year i started to get migraines and feel nauseous whenever i went outside. went on the end of year school trip and couldn't stop vomiting, it felt like my skull was crushing my brain. didn't go back to school that year and started going to doctors who couldn't find anything physically wrong with me. was sent to psychiatrists who diagnosed me with anxiety/depression. barely left the house during this time.

after a lot of counselling i tried to start high school but between the panic attacks, vomiting and migraines it was impossible. i was sent to the Children's Hospital at Westmead, which was probably the hardest thing i've ever been through. i felt so betrayed by my parents (obviously i know now how hard that time was for them). spent probably 3 months there, doing counselling and mock schooling in the hospital.

eventually came home and started the second term of year 7. saw my best friends again for the first time in 6-7 months which was a real help. i managed to go to school almost everyday for 2 months (for only half the day. the school was really understanding and helpful.) before the anxiety came back hard. spent a few more weeks in a local hospital before being released to finish the end of the year.

spending so much time at home during the holidays made it a lot more difficult to return to school, so my parents decided to try to home school me. it was really stressful for every one and i really wasn't getting a good education from it, (i'd always been smart at primary school (dux) although that dropped off pretty quick and the work was extremely basic ) but i did that for around 2 years until my mum was diagnosed with cancer in 08.

it might seem really harsh to say but it was probably the best thing to happen to me. it forced me to take responsibility and to interact with more people.

seeing as my mum was either in hospital or bedridden, and my dad had taken so many days of work to care for her, i got a tutor to help with my home schooling. she told me about a program that was running at the school that i had previously gone to, where kids with social/intellectual problems could go through year 10 in a small (4-7 kids) class.

so i completed year 10 through the program, despite a few rough patches. i meet up with a couple of friends but i felt completely out of touch with them. if anything it made me feel worse seeing how well they were going compared to me.

towards middle/end of the year (09) i started to feel really sluggish and dizzy. i found it really hard to walk in a straight line and it was impossible to go up and down stairs. i stopped taking my medication (luvox) which i thought was the cause. when my parents found out they took me to my paediatrician who told me that was a pretty bad idea and that the meds weren't the cause of the problems. he order an mri which showed a problem with my neck and brain that had been there from birth, and was most likely the cause of the migraines and vomiting, not anxiety, although it did cause the anxiety to develop.

i had surgery in November and felt almost immediate results. i haven't had anything but light headaches since and also haven't been nauseous or dizzy, but still feel anxious at times.

i finished 3 subjects of year 11 last year through a special program, but felt like i wasn't getting anywhere with my life.

i quit school this year, and have been trying to get work experience since june through an employment provider though i haven't had a very good experience.

i turn 18 in Jan which is actually a pretty sad thought for me. it felt like my life was very slowly getting better but now its just stagnated. i can't help but wonder if i'm going to find something to look forward to.
i have pretty much no social life and have gotten so used to how i've been living that although i want to live a 'normal' life i have an increasing lack of motivation to try.

i might catch up with my best friend soon but knowing he's completed school, got a girlfriend, driver's license etc. just makes me feel worse :/

i dunno what help writing all that was, but i feel kinda relieved

 

[deledio7]

That sounds really tough, dude. I'm probably not the best guy for advice but I really hope you get through it.

 

[nicky]

Sixteen straws, I read your post last night and felt for you. That sounds very tough.

The decisions you make as a teenager don't need to control the rest of your life, despite what parents and teachers tell you. Not completing year 12 by 18 means precisely that you will not be attending university at 19, and that is it.

You can do year 12 at TAFE with mature age students next year and go to uni the year after, if that is what you want.

You've been through more than many other kids at your age and should give yourself a break, you're probably emotionally exhausted. Take it easy and be kind to yourself, things will work out.

 

[Willo_]

Just discovered this thread after someone mentioned it in the Simon Hogan one on the main board.

Wanted to share my experiences which are from a different perspective - apologies if it's been covered off before bit I'll admit I haven't read the whole thread (its bloody long!)

My fiancé suffers from depression, it has all really come out in the last 6 months following the birth of our son.. initially diagnosed as post natal depression, then from seeing a counsellor basically it was diagnosed that she was likely suffering from depression for the last year or so..

I just thought she was having a rough run and a few things going her way would 'cheer her up'

This probably also shows my ignorance on the whole subject.. I'm the 1st to admit that it's something I know nothing to very little about.. Or knew very little about.

It's very tough from a partners perspective, I feel helpless and hopeless... It's easy to get frustrated and just think 'get over it' obviously I haven't said it, and know that's not how it works at all.. But it's very hard to watch someone you love so down.. And to not feel like you are helping or can help

6months (today!!) after giving birth things are ever so slowly improving, it's a long road and we are moving up it in baby steps.. But I feel it's looking forwards not back!

I admit as I said I'm very ignorant on the whole thing, and of anyone wishes to share advice or similar stories then I am very interested in reading it.

 

[HARKER]

Just discovered this thread after someone mentioned it in the Simon Hogan one on the main board.

Wanted to share my experiences which are from a different perspective - apologies if it's been covered off before bit I'll admit I haven't read the whole thread (its bloody long!)

My fiancé suffers from depression, it has all really come out in the last 6 months following the birth of our son.. initially diagnosed as post natal depression, then from seeing a counsellor basically it was diagnosed that she was likely suffering from depression for the last year or so..

I just thought she was having a rough run and a few things going her way would 'cheer her up'

This probably also shows my ignorance on the whole subject.. I'm the 1st to admit that it's something I know nothing to very little about.. Or knew very little about.

It's very tough from a partners perspective, I feel helpless and hopeless... It's easy to get frustrated and just think 'get over it' obviously I haven't said it, and know that's not how it works at all.. But it's very hard to watch someone you love so down.. And to not feel like you are helping or can help

6months (today!!) after giving birth things are ever so slowly improving, it's a long road and we are moving up it in baby steps.. But I feel it's looking forwards not back!

I admit as I said I'm very ignorant on the whole thing, and of anyone wishes to share advice or similar stories then I am very interested in reading it.

It is easy to get frustrated isn't it?
For someone that's been on both sides of the fence I can attest to how hard it is to be the one that's "up" living with someone that's "down and vice versa.

Do seek professional help (along with your wife) and as I may have mentioned here before, do your research until you find someone you sync up with.
Too many people don't shop around and when they strike upon one unsatisfactory experience, they give up on the process.

No easy fix, but a little at a time will see you through.
Understanding goes a long way and from what you've alluded to here through your writing, you have plenty of it.

p.s. We're all ignorant to depression, because to some degree it is not a one size fits all fix, but the fact of the recognizing it, is a great start.
Good luck and love to the little one.