Health Depression

[Sebastian Balboa]

Don't stop loving just because you haven't a partner of the opposite sex, SB.
You love your children don't you?

Oh absolutely! I will never stop loving my babies, they mean the world to me.

What I was referring to was romantic love, the love that tells you that you mean something to someone, that their touch makes you tingle, their mere presence makes sense of life and your place in this world, that at the end of the day they are with you by choice, they are next to you in bed snoozing away content that you are there. This love.

I know this may come across as cold, but when you know something is going to happen, it shouldn't hurt as much when it does.
It is sad losing a partner and moreso a long-term partner and it is going to hurt every now and then so when the pain hits, sit down and think about it, with the view of knowing things will get better.

I am saying this from a point of experience.

Yes I do understand this, right now it's letting it seep from my head into my heart and applying it to my life. Time does heal, I know, it's the process of healing I am trying to push through.

Ive been on Pristiq anti-depressants for a few weeks now. Really hoping that they can help with my issues.

Depression sux. Hope everything works out for you Sebastian Balboa

Thank you!

 

[HARKER]

Oh absolutely! I will never stop loving my babies, they mean the world to me.

What I was referring to was romantic love, the love that tells you that you mean something to someone, that their touch makes you tingle, their mere presence makes sense of life and your place in this world, that at the end of the day they are with you by choice, they are next to you in bed snoozing away content that you are there. This love.

I know exactly what love you're talking about Seb, having loved hard in my time.
I don't want to put myself off-side through sounding as though I'm preaching here, because I'm just learning on the run as we all are, but we really shouldn't need a reference point as to our worth.

If you're a good person (and you certainly come across as one) and you believe you're worthy then that should be good enough.
Easier said than done I know, but that really should be the logical outcome when ascertaining ones value, in life.
I may be wrong but I have a funny feeling that your kids are also happy to know, have and love their father. Plenty to look forward to right there.

 

[Sebastian Balboa]

I know exactly what love you're talking about Seb, having loved hard in my time.
I don't want to put myself off-side through sounding as though I'm preaching here, because I'm just learning on the run as we all are, but we really shouldn't need a reference point as to our worth.

If you're a good person (and you certainly come across as one) and you believe you're worthy then that should be good enough.
Easier said than done I know, but that really should be the logical outcome when ascertaining ones value, in life.
I may be wrong but I have a funny feeling that your kids are also happy to know, have and love their father. Plenty to look forward to right there.

Very good, mate, certainly valid points.

I do know I have value as a person to many people in life, as every single one of us do, and as an individual.

I guess loving her for so long has conditioned me to having that love returned which became, and now has become, a kind of reference point to my own peronal value.

The practical side of romantic love and interest is what I so miss.

Yes, my kids do love me and I love them, I just want to be so much more to them as a dad than what my own dad never was, i.e. present in their lives for starters.

Anyway, appointment tomorrow to see the doc for this and other unrelated issues, see what happens from there.

 

[_RT_]

We have children, two with Autism, so we need to work together for them.

But yes, I have done much of what your friend has done, not so much the new partner thing, and we're not 'friends' on FB, but I have many outside interests. Even without that text today, I have these relapses every so often, it pisses me off and gets me down.

Maybe I have a love void and until such time as that is filled, because I have loved for so long, I just remain open to these relapses of the heart

As the parent of 2 Autistic boys I know what you mean about having to work together. So obviously completely cutting them out of your life is a no go. Its only natural to have these relapses though, after all you were married for so long and have children together, so the connection is always going to be there.

 

[Mitchell Madness]

I am on 100ml Zoloft, considered moderate for my age.

I've been battling depression most my life, but the meds are a godsend

they are not a cure, but they help me relax, but stay in control

I will post later about my battle (currently at work) but I'm very open and will happily answer any questions you have from my point of view (not necessarily the communal view)

 

[Sebastian Balboa]

^^^
Mate, that's heavy. I can kinda imagine what it's like, having looked into the 'abyss', so to speak.

The feeling of a lack of control of one's emotions and actions is the scary part, just being on the edge of losing your shit in public.

As the parent of 2 Autistic boys I know what you mean about having to work together. So obviously completely cutting them out of your life is a no go. Its only natural to have these relapses though, after all you were married for so long and have children together, so the connection is always going to be there.

It's hard, isn't it? But our two boy's condition just puts things in perspective. After having just moved out, and at where the boys live with their mother, 1 of my boys said: "Daddy, why aren't you sleeping in your room? Because you're still a [insert our surname]." Broke my heart!

Puberty's starting to be an issue for one of our boys so that's another area where we as parents really need to be there for him.

The relapses come at the worst of times, just when I feel I'm fine with everything.

Anyway, the doc appointment went well, great to just talk. Diagnosis: Mild anxiety. Recommendation: Valerian Forte. Result: Best night's sleep in a fortnight.

 

[brett15]

I am on 100ml Zoloft, considered moderate for my age.

I've been battling depression most my life, but the meds are a godsend

they are not a cure, but they help me relax, but stay in control

I will post later about my battle (currently at work) but I'm very open and will happily answer any questions you have from my point of view (not necessarily the communal view)

I just went up to 200mg of Zoloft and my head has been spinning for the past week with blurred vision and total disorientation. I'm just starting to adjust to it and feel better.

I've had what you would describe as 'regular' depression in the past, the kind that you can snap out of with some positive thinking. This is the type of depression most probably experience from time to time that simple counselling can cure.

But this year I was hit with depression that was on a whole new level, I thought I knew and understood what depression was, but I seriously had no clue. I would wake up every morning shivering, shaking, trembling in a cold sweat, and nothing I did would make me feel better, I felt awful 24/7 and it's the worst thing I have ever experienced.

The Zoloft has helped me in a big way, I'm now back on track and getting back to the way I was last year, I'm also seeing a therapist that specialises in Hypnosis.

Depression is so misunderstood by the wider community, it really is one of those things you have to experience to truely understand what it's like. It really isn't a case of 'just snap out of it', it's completely crippling and debilitating.

 

[Caesar]

I hated Zoloft. I got some benefit but the side effects were shocking. Ended up switching to Cymbalta and the difference was incredible - much bigger lift, virtually no side effects and it helped with my anxiety as well.

It's worth getting your GP to play around with your meds if you're not improving much. Obviously drugs aren't the whole solution but you don't really appreciate how much they can help until they get you on the right one.

 

[benchwarmer5]

I tried most of the AD's over the space of about 5 years in my life... even old skool Parnate at one stage and none of them did anything for me.
Plus if i drank alcohol on them I would go bat shit crazy and do realllllllly weird things
Just be careful of mixing the two if your that way inclined.

 

[WCErevival]

This isn't something I would usually write on a forum but anyway. I have suffered with depression at different points through my life in the last 10 years. I got to my worst low about 2 months ago where I had a severe break down. I went back onto Lexapro which is what I was on the last time I had a depression episode but it was so bad this time I was heavily recomended to go see a psych. Have seen him a few times now and I feel better than ever almost reborn. From what I have been learning through seeing him and my own research, almost all depression can't be cured properly by medication. In a lot of cases its just a placebo. You have to change your inner thoughts and get to the core of your problem which I have to a degree. The chemical imbalance theory is complete myth.

 

[Silent Alarm]

So you seriously think depression is something you can just snap out of?

 

[WCErevival]

So you seriously think depression is something you can just snap out of?

No definitely not. I know its a real thing. I think people just rely on medications too much with out fixing the real problem. I used to be one of those. Meds just mask the problem and usually wear off.

The problem with depression it draws you into a hole where your thoughts and judgments are clouded. You aren't thinking straight. You get into a pattern and usually destroy your life in the process. The trick is to get yourself out of the hole.

 

[Caesar]

From what I have been learning through seeing him and my own research, almost all depression can't be cured properly by medication. In a lot of cases its just a placebo. You have to change your inner thoughts and get to the core of your problem which I have to a degree. The chemical imbalance theory is complete myth.

I agree with most of what you say but I definitely don't agree with the bolded. Medication will not cure depression on its own, but in most cases it's a vital tool in helping cure it. It's designed to give you a lift and get you to the point where you are capable of changing your thinking.

For people who have major depression, they are not in a position where they can even contemplate changing their thinking and getting to the core of the problem. Medication gets them to that point. In some severe cases it's needed to keep you at that point.

If you've ever had really deep depression and been given medication that really works, you'll understand that. One day you wake up and the drug has just clicked. You don't feel 100%, but you feel capable of starting to grapple with the problem. That's when you attack the thinking etc. that will provide a long term solution.

 

[WCErevival]

I agree with most of what you say but I definitely don't agree with the bolded. Medication will not cure depression on its own, but in most cases it's a vital tool in helping cure it. It's designed to give you a lift and get you to the point where you are capable of changing your thinking.

For people who have major depression, they are not in a position where they can even contemplate changing their thinking and getting to the core of the problem. Medication gets them to that point. In some severe cases it's needed to keep you at that point.

If you've ever had really deep depression and been given medication that really works, you'll understand that. One day you wake up and the drug has just clicked. You don't feel 100%, but you feel capable of starting to grapple with the problem. That's when you attack the thinking etc. that will provide a long term solution.

I know what you are saying and its true in some cases.

The first time I ever went on meds I felt instantly better. The times I have gone on them after that they have had little effect even though I was using the same thing. I am wondering if it was just me the first time.

This video explains it a bit.

[YOUTUBE]yfRVCaA5o18[/YOUTUBE]

The chemical imbalance theory has never been proven in any study ever. It was made up and has been debunked.

 

[Caesar]

I'm sorry, what you're saying is just wrong. Not all depression is necessarily caused by a chemical imbalance, but SSRIs have been shown to have a staticistically significant impact on treating depression compared to placebos which indicates that that it is a factor.

Sounds to me like you're being fed a line by one of a minority of doctors who don't believe in depression medication.

 

[WCErevival]

I'm sorry, what you're saying is just wrong. Not all depression is necessarily caused by a chemical imbalance, but SSRIs have been shown to have a staticistically significant impact on treating depression compared to placebos which indicates that that it is a factor.

Sounds to me like you're being fed a line by one of a minority of doctors who don't believe in depression medication.

I dont want to come across like someone who is saying meds do nothing and depression is nothing as I have been there myself and know how real it all is. I do know SSRIs have an effect and have been taught how they work but from my own experience now I feel that they a very small part of recovery. Infact in some scenarios they will do nothing.

 

[Chops_a_must]

I'm sorry, what you're saying is just wrong. Not all depression is necessarily caused by a chemical imbalance, but SSRIs have been shown to have a staticistically significant impact on treating depression compared to placebos which indicates that that it is a factor.

Very few do actually.

The only SSRI that worked for me was prozac which is one of the few that does have evidence to back it. Doesn't react with alcohol, so still allowed me to have fun.

Was also the last of about 20 I tried.

 

[brett15]

There's absolutely no way I was able to 'snap out' of the depression I'm currently going through now without meds.

I would tremble, shiver, shake uncontrollably, and go into cold sweats every morning. One morning when I was feeling god awful terrible, I was lying in bed saying an affirmation over and over "I FEEL GREAT, I FEEL REALLY GOOD!" - and it did lift me a bit, it made me feel warmer and better, but the second I fell asleep and stopped saying the affirmation, the god awful feeling returned and suddenly woke me up again. I was then back to staring at a black dark hole wondering when on earth is feeling like this ever going to go away. When am I ever going to feel good and happy again?

Those that say all depression can be cured simply through positive thinking, changing your 'habit thoughts', haven't experienced the true dark depths of real depression.

 

[WCErevival]

Sounds like you're suffering more anxiety there than depression but they do both work together. Its not just a case of being positive its about getting to the core of your problem and changing your outlook on it. People suffer depression/anxiety for different reasons. Some are simple and some complex. You have to sit down and find out what it is that is making you sad or anxious. If it is anxiety then you are fearing something. You have to find out what and face it.

It isn't as easy as simply snapping out of it either it takes a bit of time to change. The thing you have to ask yourself is do you want to be on meds for the rest of your life or do you want to make an effort to change whats going on and live a relatively normal life.

Just for a couple of you, I have been deeply depressed with times I have almost gone through with suicide and I have suffered severe anxiety where I was bed ridden for days. I have lost friendships, caused family disturbances and had my work effected by it. I have lived it. I think there is a post by me somewhere ealrier in this thread somewhere where I would of been down.

 

[Silent Alarm]

WCErevival, I wouldn't play doctor. That is, unless you are one. And even if you were, an internet diagnosis is always going to be faulty.

Your depression differs to that of someone else. To say which one is more malicious is impossible. But you can't deny each case will stray from the other: There are too many variables for this not to happen.

Something as sensitive as depression should not be admitted nor dispelled in a manner such as yours. Be a little more sensitive, educated, open, and less arrogant in your approach.

 

[WCErevival]

Just trying to help people with the experience I have on the subject. I'll butt out

 

[Dan Moody]

Just trying to help people with the experience I have on the subject. I'll butt out

So this thread is now only for people without personal opinions?
If you've experienced depression and have found a way to cope with it that doesn't fit the norms these others in here talk about, I'm all for listening to what you've got to say. I listen to a lot of positive self talk audio and read a truckload of books on the subject and know that if I'm feeling on top of my game psychologically, then I could just about conquer anything. I have never had meds' for any depression related illness (I feel downright rubbish at times and have many similar thoughts to people in this thread) yet am a firm believer in positive thoughts. I don't believe it is a one size fits all approach though.
Fwiw, I appreciate your commentary in this thread and don't see it necessary for others to feel the need to contradict what has obviously worked for you.
For those that have differing opinions (love the irony in the "arrogant" comment) feel free to keep your opinions to yourself.

 

[nicky]

Actually to tell a depressed person they need to "think positively" is downright condescending.

Btw st johns wort is anti depressant.

 

[Old Skool]

Is "depression" even a real condition?

 

[brett15]

Sounds like you're suffering more anxiety there than depression but they do both work together. Its not just a case of being positive its about getting to the core of your problem and changing your outlook on it. People suffer depression/anxiety for different reasons. Some are simple and some complex. You have to sit down and find out what it is that is making you sad or anxious. If it is anxiety then you are fearing something. You have to find out what and face it.

It isn't as easy as simply snapping out of it either it takes a bit of time to change. The thing you have to ask yourself is do you want to be on meds for the rest of your life or do you want to make an effort to change whats going on and live a relatively normal life.

Just for a couple of you, I have been deeply depressed with times I have almost gone through with suicide and I have suffered severe anxiety where I was bed ridden for days. I have lost friendships, caused family disturbances and had my work effected by it. I have lived it. I think there is a post by me somewhere ealrier in this thread somewhere where I would of been down.

That's some great connecting of the dots, it is indeed anxiety induced depression, and I've suffered panic attacks and gone to hospital a few times. Funny thing was, when I got to the hospital, I was hoping they'd report I had some cardiac problem, but when they returned and told me I was physically fit and healthy I became sad, the truth and reality that it was all psychological sunk in and it scared the crap out of me.

Is "depression" even a real condition?

Absolutely, but it's one of those things that to truly understand it you need to go through it. I was one of those people that didn't understand it until it hit me. It's god awful terrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.