Health Depression

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Roobs321 said:
It wasnt great, misery would be the best word for it. I used to be a good actor a couple years ago, but it was exhausting, and eventually I even stopped the acting and just became a little withdrawn and immensely repressed. It does affect your self-confidence and anxiety growing up. If the only people you see on tv like yourself is some white trash trans on Jerry Springer, you are not going to feel too good about it lol.

But I havent been embittered by my experience or anything, I started HRT when I was 22 and went full-time at 23, so I didnt waste too much of my life and youth, thank god. Im also not the suicidal type, but I could see it becoming a more attractive option 5 years further down the line, so I knew I had to transition or die really. You cant imagine what your life might be like down the track, you cant see a future, and worry all your friends and family will desert you.

Could have been so much worse. If I had to describe it, probably like coming out as gay x 10. Sexuality is nothing compared to the importance of gender identity (ie. I never cared less about being bi), and hiding your gender identity is painfully difficult, and impossible to sustain. Plus it's a very public thing, courts get involved, possible medical issues and complications, and much higher rates of suicide among youth.
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As a gay guy I know all about acting Roobs. But as you said, your situation would be even more complicated than mine. I have a couple of really good trans friends in Melbourne. Great people. The world needs less judmental and bigoted people. But until there is we just have to do what we can to make sure we stay healthy in both mind and body and focus on the good things in life.
 
nicky said:
Sorry for giving you obvious advice SA. Next time i'll try and be less obvious.
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Don't get funny. I didn't mean it like that.

mojito said:
About a week or two ago I found myself in a similar situation to SA, but moreso to do with Uni, if anything. Under pressure to get a few papers handed up all at once and fit in revision for upcoming tests and deal with a few other personal issues, I was a mental wreck most of the time. Managed to get everything done eventually and just found myself, oddly enough, in the blackest mood ever, like proper unhappy with everything (and I'm usually a pretty cheery person, by and large). Not even something like watching the soccer could cheer me up.

Went away with family up north over the weekend for some R&R in a place called Melrose in the Flinders Ranges. I think getting away from the bullshit, even if it was only for a couple of days, really helped. Turned a corner and everything seems to be going good again.
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Yeah, uni is really doing my head in. Just a massive amount of assignments were/are piling up. They're all dependent on ongoing work, so it's something I can't really control. I went to the WAFL Granny on Sunday, and on the way there and back, the dizziness and sickness was obvious. But during the game, I felt fine.

I'm at my nana's for a few nights. Getting away from the noise and clutter is just helping a lot. More sleep, knocking off two of my assignments... that's all helping.
 

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Silent Alarm said:
Don't get funny. I didn't mean it like that.


Yeah, uni is really doing my head in. Just a massive amount of assignments were/are piling up. They're all dependent on ongoing work, so it's something I can't really control. I went to the WAFL Granny on Sunday, and on the way there and back, the dizziness and sickness was obvious. But during the game, I felt fine.

I'm at my nana's for a few nights. Getting away from the noise and clutter is just helping a lot. More sleep, knocking off two of my assignments... that's all helping.
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How did Medhurst go? :D
 
Haven't posted here in a while so I'll introduce myself, been a fellow sufferer of anxiety and depression for 2 years now so I do have a little experience with them that I'd like to share.

My advice for anxiety would be to seek emotional support ASAP, and let them know that you may need a couple weeks of support for whatever your anxious about. The worst thing you can do in anxious situations is to run away from it, because it only makes the anxiety stimulus much stronger. It's tough, it really is, and you'll make a few mistakes, but just know that it's better to do than to not do. Because you'll be amazed at the excuses you'll come up with.

And it s much better to nip it in the bud straight away than drag it on, trust me coming from someone who has avoided studying and homework since year 7, and now I'm in year 12, a week away from my English Exam... ouch.

Onto depression, now this ones a bitch, and I can say to the person taking fluvoxamine, that I'm taking them too and they REALLY helped me with my battle with depression.

In terms of the drowsiness, it might be pretty bad at first, but it does get better after a month or two. I still yawn quite a lot, and get tires during boring part of the day, but it's a decent price to pay to reap the benefits of the medication.

And don't check Facebook while depressed! **** I have fallen victim to it many times. But I do use it to gauge how much I've recovered or how depressed I am in that instance dependent on how much I'm willing to go on Facebook and how much I'm affected by it.

In terms of motivation, the antidepressant will help with that. But note that they will not guard you from depressing stimuli that are the root of the problem, think of them as the boss battles and they are the ones you have to ultimately face, prepare for and conquer if you want any chance of resolving depression. Once you feel the antidepressant kicking in, it's good to note down when you are feeling down and be in a quiet environment to think what is causing it. Bring those notes to your psychologist.

There's more I can say, but I'll leave it at that for now. Last thing I want to say though is that although depression has been the worst thing that's ever happened to me, and hopefully will be the worst thing thats happened to me, it may also be the best thing too. It's confusing but although it has been extremely painful, it has also brought me so much closer to my family. The quote "families will come together in times of need" (possibly paraphrased), is so true. And the best thing that depression has given me is wisdom, maturity, life experience, a sense of self, empathy, compassion and an awareness to others in need. I shudder to think of who I would have been had depression not happened
 
Does anyone else get easily annoyed?

As in, even your mates drive you absolutely mental. You begin to resent them and just argue with them constantly. I can barely spend an entire day with them. I can have a night out, go to the footy, hang at uni, but nothing more... it just makes me so frustrated. I just much prefer being by myself. I don't think I'm better than anyone, because my flaws are pretty awful... but I just don't know if it's normal.

My dad suffers from it, and he's almost 50, and has basically no friends. Not because he's a bad person, but because he sees no point. He has family to keep him from loneliness, and friendship is just pointless for him. But I think that might be due to his upbringing, where he was constantly changing schools in Perth, and moving state (and country). Call me a backyard psychologist, but could constantly changing environments and friends have resulted in him being unable to cope with people for a long time. Because I've obviously gotten the same thing.

I've been doing some reading, and it might be linked to what I'll refer to as Lonerism (hai, Tame Impala) but it also seems to be linked to anxiety and deep seated introversion.

And this frustration with friends is what lead me to, in retrospect, depression for six months.
 
Some people just flourish a little better as loners I guess. Although, I think the loner aspect might be environment-influenced to an extent. Almost anyone could be a loner due to certain environments, cultures, etc.

Maybe get some new friends. Diversify your friends or meet new friends through hobbies. Also, you are only 18 or 19? Friends can be a little annoying at that age, it's better once you are beyond 21.
 
I think surrounding yourself with the right people is key to living a good successful life. So I don't believe that some people are better off as loners, I think that will eventually be self destructive in the future.

Sounds like you need to either make new friends, surround yourself with new people or accept their flaws and try not to be annoyed by it.

We can't change how people act, how life pans out, but what we can change is how we react to them.
 
Silent Alarm said:
Does anyone else get easily annoyed?

As in, even your mates drive you absolutely mental. You begin to resent them and just argue with them constantly. I can barely spend an entire day with them. I can have a night out, go to the footy, hang at uni, but nothing more... it just makes me so frustrated. I just much prefer being by myself. I don't think I'm better than anyone, because my flaws are pretty awful... but I just don't know if it's normal.

My dad suffers from it, and he's almost 50, and has basically no friends. Not because he's a bad person, but because he sees no point. He has family to keep him from loneliness, and friendship is just pointless for him. But I think that might be due to his upbringing, where he was constantly changing schools in Perth, and moving state (and country). Call me a backyard psychologist, but could constantly changing environments and friends have resulted in him being unable to cope with people for a long time. Because I've obviously gotten the same thing.

I've been doing some reading, and it might be linked to what I'll refer to as Lonerism (hai, Tame Impala) but it also seems to be linked to anxiety and deep seated introversion.

And this frustration with friends is what lead me to, in retrospect, depression for six months.
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Interesting theory SA.

I remember as a teenager after leaving school and starting an apprenticeship. I lost contact with my school mates who had continued on to do years 11 and 12. Found myself getting annoyed with the guys I played soccer with because I did not revel in my Englishness as they wanted to. Yet found the blue collar guys that I worked with as an apprentice too bogan for me.

Thia was all as a result of me deciding that I did not want to carry on at school and wanted to get into the workforce. I hung out with my brothers at the soccer club, but isolated myself from many people. Went to plenty of gigs, but never socialised with too many people as I found that I enjoyed my own company. I ended up getting married in my early 20s which was too young, but it seemed easy. (Not the best reason to get married).

Once I found my place in my own head, I felt suffocated in my marriage. I had got back in contact with my best mate from school. Had made a place for myself in my chosen industry and found that I actually preferred hanging out with people than hiding away.

When I divorced at 32 after 10 years of marriage, I made up for lost time. I made a point of contacting people that I had left behind and starting socialising more. I would still go out on my own, often to gigs but would make friends and started accepting that everybody is different and it is not worth focussing on their annoying side, but embracing what I liked about them.

Now, I have lots of groups of friends. I go out with my wife, or my family, or my old school mates, or boys nights out with a disparate group of guys that all seem to get on. At 45 years of age, I can go out 3 or 4 times in a week.

My theory is that young people either gather in groups to try and fit in (mods, rockers, hipsters, emos, etc...) , but alternatively, being alone is often a default position for other young people as they try to find where they fit in society.
 

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TheFreshBanana said:
I think surrounding yourself with the right people is key to living a good successful life. So I don't believe that some people are better off as loners, I think that will eventually be self destructive in the future.

Sounds like you need to either make new friends, surround yourself with new people or accept their flaws and try not to be annoyed by it.

We can't change how people act, how life pans out, but what we can change is how we react to them.
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Bolded for emphasis. A point well made.

Silent Alarm said:
Does anyone else get easily annoyed?

As in, even your mates drive you absolutely mental. You begin to resent them and just argue with them constantly. I can barely spend an entire day with them. I can have a night out, go to the footy, hang at uni, but nothing more... it just makes me so frustrated. I just much prefer being by myself. I don't think I'm better than anyone, because my flaws are pretty awful... but I just don't know if it's normal.

My dad suffers from it, and he's almost 50, and has basically no friends. Not because he's a bad person, but because he sees no point. He has family to keep him from loneliness, and friendship is just pointless for him. But I think that might be due to his upbringing, where he was constantly changing schools in Perth, and moving state (and country). Call me a backyard psychologist, but could constantly changing environments and friends have resulted in him being unable to cope with people for a long time. Because I've obviously gotten the same thing.

I've been doing some reading, and it might be linked to what I'll refer to as Lonerism (hai, Tame Impala) but it also seems to be linked to anxiety and deep seated introversion.

And this frustration with friends is what lead me to, in retrospect, depression for six months.
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Lonerism - top album.

Interesting point though SA.

There are folk that much prefer their own company and don't feel the need for plenty of social interaction (I'm not one, for me decreased social contact can lead to a decrease in mood).

There are some that eschew social contact due to their particular personality structure.

With regard to depression and anxiety, social withdrawal is a common feature of both. Depressed folk will avoid social situations due to lack of energy/motivation and a fear of having nothing to add to coversations or that they'll "bring others down". If you're avoiding social situations for fear of negative evaluation or ridicule, then this could be problematic. Avoidance tends to maintain anxiety.
 
The thing is, I'm a pretty social guy. I mean I don't go to nightclubs four times a week, but I'll never pass down a drink or a bit of a hang out. It's hard to explain. I could go out and 'be social' every day of the week, but every day would have to be with someone else. So it's not at all a dislike for social environments, more so a frustration that comes from being social for too long, with the same person/people.
 
Silent Alarm said:
The thing is, I'm a pretty social guy. I mean I don't go to nightclubs four times a week, but I'll never pass down a drink or a bit of a hang out. It's hard to explain. I could go out and 'be social' every day of the week, but every day would have to be with someone else. So it's not at all a dislike for social environments, more so a frustration that comes from being social for too long, with the same person/people.
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Well I guess as you get older, you tend to plan things with friends. ie. friends rarely just rock up, we are all often too busy for that. When you are 18, etc, friends often hang out with other friends purely out of boredom, something to do. But as life gets busier, I think hanging out with friends becomes better organised, and usually more rewarding. Maybe organise different activities with different friends, so you dont feel like comparing them. Go on morning jogs 2-3 times a week with your athlete buddy. Go to the movies every few weeks with that arty girl friend from uni. Go socially drinking at night with a funny, positive and outgoing mate. Watch the footy with your football-obsessed friend, go fishing with your handyman friend, study sessions with your quieter friends, etc.

I can relate to a bit of Jim's post. A lot of people dont really find themselves until they are entering their mid 20s, and because of that they are friends with more suitable people for themselves. I remember when I started to transition, I was finally happy, and I noticed a change in my preferences. Beforehand, I often preferred alone time to socialtime with friends (or atleast equally). Nowadays, I feel like im starting to go crazy after 3-4 days if I dont talk to friends or family members, im more socially inclined.

Most importantly for you I guess, when you hang out with someone extensively for a while, you may start to notice things about them that irritate you. But dont let little meaningless things ruin a friendship or relationship, no one is perfect and fits your ideal of how a human should behave.
 
I've been on Escitalopram (Esitalo) for over 6 months now, 20mg a day. Hasn't really seemed to do much to help me, went to my GP 2 weeks ago who upped it to 30mg a day and still no change.
These last 2 weeks have been horrible, massive loss of self esteem and a feeling of helplessness combined with a high stress job just about have me at my wits end. The only thing keeping me going is my family whom I try very hard to keep this from and find myself putting on a front, although my wife knows about my medication.
 
It sounds like that medication isn't working for you.

Does anyone know if 'Doctors who specialise in medication' exist? It seems like they prescribe 'whatevs" and then it's "cross your fingers".

I know someone who's been prescribed anti psychotics when they do not need them and then anti depressant after anti depressant, which do not work.... I would love to find them a competent psychiatrist who could get their meds right. Ideally, you'd google "medication specialist in melbourne" :(

Hang in there CD and good luck :thumbsu:
 
Crash Davis said:
I've been on Escitalopram (Esitalo) for over 6 months now, 20mg a day. Hasn't really seemed to do much to help me, went to my GP 2 weeks ago who upped it to 30mg a day and still no change.
These last 2 weeks have been horrible, massive loss of self esteem and a feeling of helplessness combined with a high stress job just about have me at my wits end. The only thing keeping me going is my family whom I try very hard to keep this from and find myself putting on a front, although my wife knows about my medication.
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As Nicky's stated, the whole anti D thing can be hit and miss. 6 months and no change would suggest to me a need to change meds. Have you been on any others, and have they been prescribed in conjunction with psychology?
 
Caesar said:
That's basically the job of psychiatrists I think.
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Yes it is but from what i've seen they have got it consistently wrong with a close family member of mine. E.g. prescribing anti psychotic medication when the person needs antidepressants and prescribing the wrong antidepressants and not trying to get them right etc.

I have anecdotal evidence of others having a similar experience. Psychiatrists, who are gurus of psych medication would be awesome for the more difficult cases.
 
I get the impression that psychiatry is mostly about managing medication. They farm out a lot of the psychotherapy to allied health.

A psychiatrist who isn't an expert in psych medication just sounds like a bad doctor.
 

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