Official Team Thread East Side Hawks :: Season 29

[Agent93]

East Side Hawks 9.5 (59) defeated Gold City Royals 7.6 (48)

Recap by SM:

The Hawks were on a roll by this point with 2 wins on the trot finally balancing the ledger at 4 and 4. Their opponents for the day, the Gold City Royals, were having somewhat of a Yo-Yo season themselves, unable to string wins together with two losses sandwiching their most recent win, to find themselves just outside the 8 looking in on the Hawks in 7th.

Agent93 was forced into two key changes with the fall out from BRAB and ArdentEagle's abrupt departures, and used the opportunity to shake up a number of positions, with Itsmyshow being thrown into the Centre, and Le Grille drafted into the team at full back.

larrikin got the Hawks off to the perfect start with a goal within the first 3 minutes, but an almost instant reply from the Royals indicated the game would be somewhat of an arm wrestle. A low scoring first quarter where just one more goal was added, in the Royals’ favour, backed that up. The game opened up in the second to see the Hawks establish a three-goal buffer at the main break, with TY24 getting on the end of some good chances.

A goal on the siren from Agent93 in the third eased some nerves for the Hawks as a quickly gaining Royals were put at arm’s length with a 13-point lead. Goals from Drunkgoliath and TY24 in the last settled the contest, as a late Blacky goal drew the Royals within 2 goals, but it was too little too late as the Hawks emerged victorious.

TY24 was the standout with 3 goals to his name, while Loonerty was a beast in midfield with 8 tackles and 14 touches in a tight contest. Snake_Baker also managed 18 touches and 8 marks in an elite performance for the Hawks.

Top 5 Rated Players

​

Editor Note: The Royals feature a large number of former Hawks including spookism, Noobz0r, brahj, and The Filth Wizard. You might say they are the Old Hawks Retirement Village.

 

[Agent93]

****ed up an ArdentEagle. We're talking about you buddy.

 

[Golumless]

You were second after 7 rounds, so close. The eventual winner wasn't first after 7 rounds though.

Goodbye my dreams to win the larrakin

 

[Agent93]

The larrikin award

Getting a little deeper into the count it's unsurprising to find the team vice-captain here. A long time lover of rainbows, Loonerty is always good for quick statistical evidence, and to correct poorly used mathematical terms.

In 4th place for season 29 is:
Loonerty



​

 

[Agent93]

Goodbye my dreams to win the larrakin

I mean, you weren't first in the larrikin after 7 rounds either...

 

[Biggie]

Well done Loonerty

Well deserved

 

[AceAndy]

Me too, but i was getting quite a few votes early on.

Also, cut the tounge face, it weakens your insults.

You dont tell me how to post numb nuts.

 

[por_please_ya]

Editor Note: The Royals feature a large number of former Hawks including @spookism, @Noobz0r, @brahj, and @The Filth Wizard. You might say they are the Old Hawks Retirement Village.

Lel

 

[NaturalDisaster]

You dont tell me how to post numb nuts.

Why not?

 

[Agent93]

East Side Hawks 10.2 (62) lost to Gumbies FFC 13.4 (82)

Recap by TY24:

The Hawks and Barrybran lead Gumbies went head to head at The Eyrie, with the Hawks marked as clear favourites. They were the form side of the competition, having won their last 3 games and only lost one of their last 5. The Gumbies on the other hand had were in last place having only won one of their 9 fixtures so far this season.

The game started slowly, with the two teams exchanging blows for 9 minutes before the first goal was kicked by peterss. Milera2Betts gave the Hawks an instant reply in what was a low scoring start to the game. beez and TY24 would both add goals for their sides before the siren brought a largely uneventful first term to an end, with the Gumbies taking a one point lead into quarter time. 2.1.13 played 2.2.14

It was another slow start to the second term, with the first score taking 5 minutes to register when TalkingFootyNow1223 slammed through their first goal. TY24 responded to this with two goals of his own, taking his tally to three. (and, according to the commentary, gave it to his own fans afterwards. Oops). The Gumbies would then add 3 unanswered majors through okeydoke7, Rodney Dangerfield, and StFly before TY24 added his 4th of the match to send the Gumbies in with a slender 7 point advantage at the main break. They lead the Hawks 6.3.39 to 5.1.31

The Gumbies were clearly hurting after their woeful start to the season, and at half time of this game the penny appeared to drop. They came out and put the Hawks to the sword in the 3rd quarter with 5 quick goals to Dero (2), bone2468, haydo, and StFly. The Hawks could only muster up 2 goals in response (Drunkgoliath, jusjoshin). This third quarter blitz saw the Gumbies enter the final change leading 11.3.69 to 7.2.44.

The competition watched on eagerly as the final quarter began. Surely the Hawks, who had won 4 of their last 5, weren’t about to lose to the lowly Gumbies, who had just once all season? The Gumbies started where they left off as bone2468 slammed through their second early in the last. go you pups was able to muster up a quick response to reduce the deficit to 25 points. The Hawks still had a mountain to climb, but Golumless made life easier with another major making the margin 19 points. When Drunkgoliath reduced the gap to just 13 points, the Hawks comeback seemed inevitable. However the Gumbies were able to rally together and prevent any further scores from the Hawks, with Taylor adding another major for good measure, seeing the Gumbies run out as shock 20 point victors. 13.4.82 played 10.2.62.

In what was a quiet day out for the Hawks, Agent93 starred with 19 disposals and 9 marks, whilst TY24 continued to emerge as the league's leading young forward, kicking 4 goals with his 4 disposals.

Top 5 Rated Players

​

Editors Note: It was around about this time haydo was getting a little nervous about expansion.

 

[Agent93]

Well, it looks like we're up to a round that is a multiple of 5. Time for a leaderboard!



Oooooh it's the dodgy as hell captain Agent93 out in front. Surely he hasn't rigged this again?

Who cares! Dance Break!

 

[MWPP]

Editor Note: The Royals feature a large number of former Hawks including @spookism, @Noobz0r, @brahj, and @The Filth Wizard. You might say they are the Old Hawks Retirement Village.

Lel

I like how BRAB didn't even rate a mention
Also the best Royals ( GreyCrow and CakeEater ) are Royals for life anyway

 

[por_please_ya]

 

[Biggie]

Goddamn it

 

[ClarkeM]

View attachment 903943

Prep your outfits and grab your squad, it's time for #goals and the Season 29 Festival of the Biggie!​

Welcome all to the season recap and Biggie-est cup count for the East Side Hawks in season 29 of the Sweet FA. Let's start of with a quick refresher of some of the big events across the league in the season that was:

• The East Side Hawks failed to lose in a preliminary final. The new black is losing in the finals to the AceAndy lead Dragons.
• Barrybran won the Mobbs Medal in amongst doing some lovely graphical detail to compensate for yours truly's complete lack of skill.
• TheInjuryFactory beats out manangatang for the beez medal, which is deemed irrelevent due to its unjust policy of not recognised any Hawks in the top 20.
• Headless is explicably denied an All-SFA jumper. 25 midfielders are justifiably included, the remaining 12 positions going to the committee members.
• The Jesus returns to his former name after walking out on the Hawks, then plotting with haydo and NinjaSwan to up-end the league.
• Also plotting to up-end the league was Millky95 who teamed up with Dingster and SarahSmiles to conspire to steal Hawks rookies.
• There was a giant hoo-haa about several rules. Metalcrusher attempted to bail on the Bombers and was eventually allowed to join the Bears.
• Speaking of, the Bears boycotted a match thread and as a result there entire LG was handed a penalty, presumably moreso because of Matera92 whinging.
• He was whinging because spirital leader and current Bomber JoshWoodenSpoon elected to suicide by pr0n, prompting MWPP to assume leadership duties in the shadows of Test Tickle
• In the midst of all this craziness we delisted BRAB and ArdentEagle for being disruptive twats, and traded NaturalDumbarse for league legend Itsmyshow as the current admin Ant Bear showed a preference to deferring to league legends instead of the committee in season 28.
• Mid season we also signed rookie Chipmunk, and returning vet eth-dog who are probably seven times nicer than Elton Johns Wig. And definitely more sober.

Now that you're up to date let's recap the Hawks' season and count down the chase for the Biggie-est cup which recognises the player who has performed best on-field across season 29. The Biggie-est cup is named for former club captain, leading possession winner, and current teammate, Biggie!

Rather than use a set of vote for each player, which undoubtedly favours midfielders, the Biggie-est cup winner is calculated by the Player Ratings algorithm which has been in use since season 25 (which has ended up favouring midfielders anyway, so I really need to re-work it). Recent past winners include spookism, The Half Back, Agent93, and Loonerty. Who will get up in the season 29 festival?

In addition we'll be preseting the YOTC Plate for the club's top goal-kickers, the Mr Eagle captain's Trophy, The Filth Medal for the best new Hawk in the league, and the larrikin award: the player's choice of the best poster. On with the show!

Great work Agent, would love to see this algorithm as I don't recall ever seeing it before and am very intrigued. If you get time after the awards are done, it'd be much appreciated. It's an interesting idea and would love to see how it works.

 

[por_please_ya]

Great work Agent, would love to see this algorithm as I don't recall ever seeing it before and am very intrigued. If you get time after the awards are done, it'd be much appreciated. It's an interesting idea and would love to see how it works.

It's top secret. Like the Colonel's secret spices.

 

[TY24]

The Filth Medal

Every season we like to acknowledge a rising star at the club by presenting The Filth Medal. Named after former-captain and list-builder premiere, The Filth Wizard, the medal is awarded to the best performing player who has started the season with less than 20 games under their belt.

Season 29 was a bit of a weird one. Coming in we had a couple of eligible players who were inactive, we added a rookie who turned out to have 7 games for the club under his belt (still eligible), we added another rookie from the Freo board in the Tour of Qooty, and then a final rookie rocked up just after round 5 team sheets were posted. Also, an opposition captain decided SM was a promising newbie a few games after we celebrated his 200th in the league.

But the stand out was that little bloke who has his claws all over the thread. He's made a huge impact on the team, and almost left us after Millky95 and company coaxed him to be part of the Vampires expansion bid which would have given me a fantastic reason to vote No. But I didn't and we would have recognised him anyway.

This season we award British rodent Chipmunk The Filth Medal as the Hawks’ rising star for season 29.

View attachment 904386

Congratulations on your fine season Chipmunk. May there be many more!

PS. You're free to get covered in sh*t now.​

Congrats Chipper!

 

[Agent93]

East Side Hawks 8.10 (58) lost to Sin City Swamprats 12.14 (86)

Recap by por_please_ya:

At this point in the fixture, the Hawks were LWWWL, not travelling too badly but another win would really help. In warm conditions we were rearing to go at the Swamprats’ underground home.

Biggie won the opening tap decisively, and it seemed like a good omen. TY24 kicked the opening point, and go you pups made it a goal shortly after. Good signs. However, Swamprats evened the score and then proceeded to kick ahead. At the quarter’s end we were 9 points down. Still too early, and we regrouped for the second term.

Drunkgoliath being outbodied in the ruck contest was not a good omen. We finally scored our second goal through larrikin. Swamprat rookie GremioPower kicked his third goal shortly after, leaving our efforts for nought. Most of the traffic seemed one-way, and not the right way. The margin had increased to 27 points.

The third term was not much better. We didn’t put anything extra onto the scoreboard until lucky legs Karnezis_13 added a minor to our total. We were fortunate that the Swampies weren’t kicking straight up until this point otherwise the margin could have been blown out and beyond repair. But in the end, they DID kick straight. End of the third quarter the score was Swamprats 10.12.72 to the Hawks 5.6.36. The fat lady was surely singing and not for us!

By the final siren, Swamprats had added 14 points to their total, and we managed to add 22. If only we’d done that in the first quarter…. What a wreck!

Most performances on the ground were not up to standard, and jackenny received donuts. It was the captain Agent93 who carried us, with 22 disposals (17 of those handballs) and 5 tackles. Itsmyshow pulled a decent effort, with 19 possessions and 7 marks, however 4 frees against. Loonerty did the opposite, he had 4 frees paid to go with his 17 disposals and 7 tackles. We had multiple goalscorers and only go you pups had 2, but didn’t do much else.

Top 5 Rated Players


​

Editor Note: The lack of Red mist love from porps is appalling.

 

[Chipmunk]

I like the editor notes. It’s like an inner monologue. It’s like

Well done SM !

Editor note: I never liked that campaigner

 

[Agent93]

The larrikin award

At the hump point of the top five is your captain, who had the utter benefit of being the most attractive poster when only a few players were voting in the first 4 rounds of the season. Also, the round 7 leader alluded to earlier. Thank god more of you started voting.

In 3rd place for season 29 is:
Agent93



​

 

[por_please_ya]

I'm sorry Red mist. Your epic qooty work obviously blinded me and I forgot to write about you.

 

[Chipmunk]

The larrikin award
At the hump point of the top five is your captain, who had the utter benefit of being the most attractive poster
​

 

[Agent93]

View attachment 904491

Thank you. I do accept this rose.

 

[Agent93]

East Side Hawks 12.10 (82) lost to Coney Island Warriors 17.14 (116)

Recap by Loonerty:

In Round 12, the Hawks sat in 8th place and faced the team directly beneath them on the ladder in the Warriors. Both sides came off a loss and looked to keep in touch with a finals place.

It took 9 minutes but the Warriors opened the scoring through traitor NaturalDisaster, the worst possible way for the Hawks to start. Karnezis_13 had an impact off the bench early to answer but it was the only goal for the Hawks until a Drunkgoliath goal late on saw the Hawks enter quarter time chasing 9 points.

It didn’t take long for the Warriors to increase the pressure in the second, with Tonga Bob scoring after 90 seconds. In a real show of great goalkicking accuracy, the Warriors kicked 2.7 for the quarter but the Hawks were unable to get a look in, only adding 2.3 of their own with goals from go you pups and Chipmunk. At half time, the Hawks were down by 13.

After the break, the Hawks started well as Itsmyshow kicked a goal against his former club and new spearhead TY24 following immediately to reduce the margin to a solitary point. BEEG and harry000 quickly dashed the hopes of the gang from the East Side, however, and by the 10 minute mark the Warriors had improved their half time margin by a point. BEEG added another to take the Warriors to 21 points but a fight back from Biggie and Chipmunk saw the margin get back down to 9 points. The Hawks continued to add pressure, but were unable to get it through the middle, scoring 5 straight behinds before BEEG added a goal at the death to relieve some pressure on the Warriors.

The final term unfolded as a bit of a shootout, with early goals to ND and Dinsdale quickly answered by TY24 and Itsmyshow. Smoooothy and kdavva74 added two to push the Warriors to a 22 point lead but go you pups and TY24 answered again. Unfortunately, the Hawks had spent their tickets too early, and the Warriors were able to close out the game with 4 straight goals to end up as the victors by 34 points.

Biggie once again stood out with a goal alongside 17 hitouts and 20 touches. TY24 was left to rue his 3.3 while the midfield would be disappointed they were unable to have any significant effect on the game.

Top 5 Rated Players

​

Editor Note: Geez TheInjuryFactory pulled some bullshit this round.

 

[Golumless]

Well at least the next month for me is hot.