Funniest Things Heard at Footy Game

[Djcjdees]

There's a lady that sits in the Melbourne members section that always makes me laugh with the random stuff she comes up with about umpires. My favourite:

'Oh where's you're anatomy, umpire?!'

 

[Igloo]

My guess is you had to be there

 

[DarkPhoenix]

GWS vs North earlier this year at Blundstone arena.

A vocal GWS supporter behind me being an absolute knob the entire game, came out with some absolute blinders.

My favourite one (not sure of the quarter but the score was about 80-3) and he starts the whole "WESTERN SYDNEY *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*", after trying for about half a minute and unable to get the pro-north crowd to join in he sits down and starts talking to anyone within earshot who will give him the time of day.

"This is ****ing appalling. Why do we have to put up with these horrendous Victorian teams at OUR BLOODY HOME GAMES! Its a disgrace, the AFL should be ashamed about rostering us against these pathetic vics".

After which the old lady sitting in front of him kindly pointed at the scoreboard.

I really hope he was trolling, but he had a GWS cap, jersey and flag so i've been unable to convince myself he was.

 

[Giants FC]

A classic heckle at James Cook of the Bulldogs, many years ago:
"I know where you live, James Cook. Fitzroy Gardens"

 

[big_e]

Couple of years back, early in his career, Todd Goldstein was being pretty comprehensively beaten in the ruck. Someone called out "you're only Silverstein tonight, lad!"

 

[chunkylover53]

Does this guy go to wrestling events too?

[youtube]I5MemsJR_Ws[/youtube]

Hahahaha. Gold.

 

[tugga]

Couple of years back, early in his career, Todd Goldstein was being pretty comprehensively beaten in the ruck. Someone called out "you're only Silverstein tonight, lad!"

Now that is funny
Quick, to the point, clever and not harmful in any way.

 

[kouta70]

Carlton v Bris at the Gabba when the saviour Fev had come to town. (just after the lara Bingle txt photo scandal) Bris got away at the start and Carlton clawed their way back and hit the front. Ball came into Bris forward line and the new Lion Fev couldn't get anywhere near it. Bloke in front yells "Fev, where the bloody hell are ya?" Cracked the whole place around us up. Whish he didn't do it though. Fev and the rest of the forwards fired after that.

 

[bluepride]

A few years ago in the MCC, playing against the bombers and Paul Bower was having a horrid day...and he did this short chip kick that barley made it 15 but at least it had hit a target and this lunatic has jumped up and boomed "Great Kick...WOOOO....and asking everyone if they had seen this completed kick"

I was pissing myself as well half the MCC who were in tears..even us Carlton supporters.

 

[djrossie16]

My mate told me years back someone broke the minute silence by yelling out "YOU'RE A FAT C*** PLUGGER!!!"

Not sure if true but I cracked up at his story.

 

[rhys_22]

Collingwood vs geelong,round 18 in 2010.Gary ablett gets a goal and the man behind me says "you wanna meet the president harry?stuff the president theres god right there.".we went on to beat them that night

 

[brendan84]

Used to go to games at the SCG when i lived in Sydney and one guy used to absolutely give it to Dale Lewis every game. "Come on Dale, inject yourself into the game son." Was pretty funny.

 

[The Chiefton]

Anybody remember the mad north supporter by the name of Pat? he had the mohawk for a while there, then went with the shaved head and goatee look, sleeveless roos jumper, black boots and jeans...... and would usually stand behind the goals at all north games in the 90s/00s.

Anyway, I'm not sure what has happened to him but one day at Optus oval v Carlton, I was in the toilets and he happened to stroll in and tell everybody that he'd be running on to the ground with a wooden spoon (when they were shithouse) and we all laughed and didn't really take him seriously.

Some time during the last quarter there was a pretty big roar, next thing I look up and here's the funny bastard running on to Optus oval, wooden spoon in hand, North jumper on, screaming all sorts of shit!

I once saw him have an argument with Barry Stoneham, in one of the bars at the MCG. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. It looked like it could be on, but Pat challenged Barry to a drinking contest to which Bazza declined!

He said if you can't talk your way out of a blue, you have to drink your way out of it! lol

 

[Infamy]

Couple of years back, early in his career, Todd Goldstein was being pretty comprehensively beaten in the ruck. Someone called out "you're only Silverstein tonight, lad!"

Definitely best one of the thread so far, very clever

 

[bulletproof]

This thread is proof that humour is a precious commodity in the AFL. Reminds me of Alan Patridge 'what a funny story'

 

[mick7]

Watching a Collingwood vs. Essendon game during the Knights era and my mates and I were sitting real close to the Essendon bench and Dyson was about to go on ( we were losing by a bit I think it was in 2008) and some guy said "My day was pretty bad but now you're bringing on Dyson? ANYONE BUT HIM!!!??!?" Dyson turned around to the guy and stared at him for a good 2-3 seconds and went on. I piss myself to this day about it - poor kid.

 

[The_Wookie]

A classic heckle at James Cook of the Bulldogs, many years ago:
"I know where you live, James Cook. Fitzroy Gardens"

genuinely lol'd

 

[Mitchell Madness]

My uncle is a serious Tom murphy hater, a few yrs back there is a turn over in defence and he yells "you shouldn't be playing murphy!"
I turn to him and yell "murphy isnt on the field!" to the laughter of the fans around me


Also loved the "bulls#%^" chant when Matthew Lloyd clearly hit the post in the dying seconds (called a goal) to give essendon a 1 point win over hawthorn

 

[Dalphonso]

Used to go to games at the SCG when i lived in Sydney and one guy used to absolutely give it to Dale Lewis every game. "Come on Dale, inject yourself into the game son." Was pretty funny.

Was he a junky?

 

[Sedat!]

Late in the last qtr of the 2006 EF between the Dogs and Collingwood, Chris Tarrant spills the ball out of bounds on the wing - this was when Tarrant was still a bit wild off he field and was about to get shipped to Freo. My mate pipes up with..."don't worry Taz, you've still got Mad Monday to look forward to"

Even my Collingwood mates still get a good chuckle out of that one.

 

[Northworth]

A mate was at a Syd-Fitz game in 96 at whitten oval... plugger kicked 12 or so....

My mate told me that one fitzroy fan yelled out from behind the goals - "Hey plugger..... I am going to the pie shop - do you want me to get you one?" And everyone laughed....

to his credit Lockett who was in the goal square turned around... mouth guard came out and he glared in the general direction of the fitzroy fans.... crowd stopped laughing... then he yelled back "I wouldn't mind one actually"

legend bloke

 

[Gabbie]

Anybody remember the mad north supporter by the name of Pat? he had the mohawk for a while there, then went with the shaved head and goatee look, sleeveless roos jumper, black boots and jeans...... and would usually stand behind the goals at all north games in the 90s/00s.

Anyway, I'm not sure what has happened to him but one day at Optus oval v Carlton, I was in the toilets and he happened to stroll in and tell everybody that he'd be running on to the ground with a wooden spoon (when they were shithouse) and we all laughed and didn't really take him seriously.

Some time during the last quarter there was a pretty big roar, next thing I look up and here's the funny bastard running on to Optus oval, wooden spoon in hand, North jumper on, screaming all sorts of shit!

I once saw him have an argument with Barry Stoneham, in one of the bars at the MCG. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. It looked like it could be on, but Pat challenged Barry to a drinking contest to which Bazza declined!

He said if you can't talk your way out of a blue, you have to drink your way out of it! lol

I remember that day and that guy. Half his goatee area tattooed royal blue. Ouch.

It's been reported that one day at Western Oval, Doggies v Saints, that Plugger dropped a mark and someone yelled out "If it was a bag of donuts you wouldn't have dropped it".

 

[pooley]

Melbourne v NM at Etihad last year.

Jack watts gets in the face of "Spud' firrito.

wag yells out, "What are you going to do Watts? challenge him to a wine tasting?"

 

[invinciBlues]

A mate was at a Syd-Fitz game in 96 at whitten oval... plugger kicked 12 or so....

My mate told me that one fitzroy fan yelled out from behind the goals - "Hey plugger..... I am going to the pie shop - do you want me to get you one?" And everyone laughed....

to his credit Lockett who was in the goal square turned around... mouth guard came out and he glared in the general direction of the fitzroy fans.... crowd stopped laughing... then he yelled back "I wouldn't mind one actually"

legend bloke

One of the few gems in here Actually lol'd

 

[Coldacre]

this midget of a West Coast player was warming up along the boundary last night and amidst absolute crowd silence someone yelled out "got a tip for Flemington tomorrow mate?"