Funniest Things Heard at Footy Game

[LiterallyNobody]

St Kilda vs North Melbourne (pre-season?) game in Hobart about 10 years ago.

Some random arse-clown is into Byron Pickett? calling him a black Karmichael non stop. He's trotting up and down the boundary line warming up and this guy just keeps telling him how black he is and questioning his similarity to female genitalia.

Eventually Byron has had enough, looks up into the crowd and says "Shut the **** up". Cue enormous roar of laughter from crowd and no more sledging.

Underrated post.

Some guy in the crowd after the ball is run from one end to the other unopposed: "Loose men everywhere! What is this a Prahran nightclub?!"

Another ripper.

By far the funniest thing I heard was three years ago when we were flogging Freo - this funny Freo supporter behind me was saying comments all through the last quarter like "that's it Freo, if we keep this up, we might lose by ten goals!" and genuinely applauding them for every little thing they did. It was all in jest of course, just someone making light of a bad situation. We were around ninety points up and nothing much was happening and there's a bit of a lull when out of nowhere, Pavlich (or someone) got Freo's fourth goal deep in the last and the Freo bloke just goes:

"C'mon Freo, keep it up, you can still win this - another seven quarters and we've got them"

It's clearly a "you had to be there" kind of thing but everyone around just cracked up laughing.

 

[Kram]

My Bomber supporting mate at a game v West Coast at Subi, getting excited barracking with them giving the Eagles a pasting.

Old bloke in an Eagle's jacket told him 'Quiet and calm down mate, the game is over' followed by 'You've probably never played the game in your life'. My friend turned around and replied 'Why do you think I was half an hour late late for the game? I was playing a game of footy today you dumb c***!'

Was hilarious, owned the Muppet big time.

 

[Illinois Nazi]

My Bomber supporting mate at a game v West Coast at Subi.

Old bloke in an Eagle's jacket told him 'Quiet and calm down mate, the game is over' followed by 'You've probably never played the game in your life'. My friend turned around and replied 'Why do you think I was half an hour late late for the game? I was playing a game of footy today you dumb c***!'

Hilarious.

 

[Hawkas1988]

Probably the funniest or most awkward moment I've had at the footy was back around 2003 or 2004 when Damien Cupido was still playing for the bombers. My best mate is a cats supporter so I went with him to see a Geelong v Essendon game. Essendon were smashing them and Cupido was playing pretty well.

This teenage cats supporter in front of us thought he was pretty funny with some of his calls throughout the night, none were even remotely funny. Anyway Cupido was lining up for a shot on goal about 20 metres out on no real angle and this guy yells out really loud "Kick it with your right foot STUPIDO".

The whole section went quiet and a few turned around looking at him like he was a f**kwit. Even hsi friends pretended to not hear his call and ignored it. It was one of the most awkward moments I've ever had at the footy, the kid didn't yell out another thing for the rest of the game.

 

[Tyrion Lanister]

Probably the funniest or most awkward moment I've had at the footy was back around 2003 or 2004 when Damien Cupido was still playing for the bombers. My best mate is a cats supporter so I went with him to see a Geelong v Essendon game. Essendon were smashing them and Cupido was playing pretty well.

This teenage cats supporter in front of us thought he was pretty funny with some of his calls throughout the night, none were even remotely funny. Anyway Cupido was lining up for a shot on goal about 20 metres out on no real angle and this guy yells out really loud "Kick it with your right foot STUPIDO".

The whole section went quiet and a few turned around looking at him like he was a f**kwit. Even hsi friends pretended to not hear his call and ignored it. It was one of the most awkward moments I've ever had at the footy, the kid didn't yell out another thing for the rest of the game.

Hahahah that reminds me of the item I went to a Hawthorn Adelaide game, if i remember correctly Troy Wilson kicked 5.

But back to the story, we were in the outer and this bloke kept on standing up and yelling "your a f***ing fruit Hueskes" and "Geez Lance your a tool" it was staring to get a bit stupid by 3 quarter time. So I stood up and said "Whats going on here I cant seem to find the TV Guide" everyone just pissed themselves laughing and this guy swore at me.

Another bloke leaned over and handed me the TV Guide and I opened it up to Tuesday and yelled back at the guy "Hueskes might be a fruit mate but you wont be watching The Footy Show on Tuesday with an attitude like that", he stood up swore at me again and said "Thats because its on Thursdays you idiot", this is where I had him. I laughed at his face and said "Not this week you idiot, we are at the Grand Final and its not on again until next season" Everyone just laughed themselves silly including the bloke himself.

Funniest non-watermelon related incident i have ever experienced.

 

[Impunity!]

Hahahah that reminds me of the item I went to a Hawthorn Adelaide game, if i remember correctly Troy Wilson kicked 5.

But back to the story, we were in the outer and this bloke kept on standing up and yelling "your a f***ing fruit Hueskes" and "Geez Lance your a tool" it was staring to get a bit stupid by 3 quarter time. So I stood up and said "Whats going on here I cant seem to find the TV Guide" everyone just pissed themselves laughing and this guy swore at me.

Another bloke leaned over and handed me the TV Guide and I opened it up to Tuesday and yelled back at the guy "Hueskes might be a fruit mate but you wont be watching The Footy Show on Tuesday with an attitude like that", he stood up swore at me again and said "Thats because its on Thursdays you idiot", this is where I had him. I laughed at his face and said "Not this week you idiot, we are at the Grand Final and its not on again until next season" Everyone just laughed themselves silly including the bloke himself.

Funniest non-watermelon related incident i have ever experienced.

 

[Tyrion Lanister]

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

Oh my god..... hahahahahaha

 

[Books]

I was playing in the 2nds a few years ago. We had an umpire who really was pretty hopeless. Both sides were abusing him.

After a goal the ump was about to bounce it in the middle when a voice called out "Geez your useless umpire!". The umpire says "What do you expect. All the good umpires are in the seniors.... same as the good players".

Cracked me up and we all left him alone after that. Hopeless umpire but a very funny man.

 

[KingJames23]

10 years ago at Etihad Stadium watching Crows v Pies. It was the time that Wayne Carey was playing for us after leaving the Roos. Anyway, there was a quiet moment in the game when a pies supporter stands up and screams at the top of his lungs: "C'MON CAREY YOU F**KING WIFE F**KER!".

It was so loud and completely out of the blue but damn it was funny.

 

[im_a_lazy_sod]

I was playing in the 2nds a few years ago. We had an umpire who really was pretty hopeless. Both sides were abusing him.

After a goal the ump was about to bounce it in the middle when a voice called out "Geez your useless umpire!". The umpire says "What do you expect. All the good umpires are in the seniors.... same as the good players".

Cracked me up and we all left him alone after that. Hopeless umpire but a very funny man.

I like it

 

[Kram]

Yeah that's a quality rebuttal from the ump

 

[DEMONS_4_EVA]

Last Friday night i was sitting at my mcc members seat, sipping dom perigon 1453 and tasting some delectable Bulgarian caviar, when my chum, Sir Henry Bomdy-Bom-Bom shouted out to David Hale: "I'm playing polo tomorrow, would you like to be my horse?". Quite amusing.

 

[Dragz]

At a Hawks v Carlton game years ago,

Couple of minutes to go, Carlton a couple of points up and a Blues supporter screaming out "You're F*cked Hawthorn, You're F*Cked*

Ben Dixon takes a mark on the siren. Guy starts screaming out "You can't f*cking kick Dixon"

Dixon duly kicks the goal after the siren, Hawks win.

Guy screams out "You're F*cked Carlton, You're F*cked"

Was pretty funny at the time

 

[Impunity!]

I was at a Port v Bulldogs game once and this old guy was sitting one bay across, he'd been yelling out incoherently for most of the game, then one half of his face went limp as did one of his arms and legs, and he slumped down in his chair. His wife was with him and stood up and yelled "HELP! HELP! HE'S HAVING A STROKE!"

I stood up and yelled "NAH - HE'S JUST A SHIT BLOKE!!!"

It was pretty funny.

Oh yeah apparently he was having a stroke.

 

[BuffaloClub]

At a Freo game back in the day at Subiaco and Clive Waterhouse (bless him) was standing directly in front of goal, about 10-15 meters out ready to kick a crucial four points and a bloke behind me says, "Excellent, I wonder what Clive is thinking before he kicks this goal."

Another wag says, " He's thinking and smiling 'I reckon I'm 50/50 with this one'".

Then Clive runs into the goal square AND SHANKS IT LEFT FOR OUT-OF- BOUNDS-ON-THE-FULL!!!!!!

Talk about jinxing and no respect, but, hey, that's us, good old Freo.

 

[Impunity!]

At a Freo game back in the day at Subiaco and Clive Waterhouse (bless him) was standing directly in front of goal, about 10-15 meters out ready to kick a crucial four points and a bloke behind me says, "Excellent, I wonder what Clive is thinking before he kicks this goal."

Another wag says, " He's thinking and smiling 'I reckon I'm 50/50 with this one'".

Then Clive runs into the goal square AND SHANKS IT LEFT FOR OUT-OF- BOUNDS-ON-THE-FULL!!!!!!

Talk about jinxing and no respect, but, hey, that's us, good old Freo.

Hmmmm.

 

[Footy_Fan2007]

At a Melbourne game just after Broadbridge's tragic death... "I wish you were in Bali instead Whelan".

Harsh but hilarious.

That is pretty low

Couple of years back, early in his career, Todd Goldstein was being pretty comprehensively beaten in the ruck. Someone called out "you're only Silverstein tonight, lad!"

I actually found that funny

 

[crocsta]

I was at a Geelong game years ago, back when we were struggling. Cat supporter yells out "you blokes are like a group of Sacret Heart girls (catholic school) standing outside the chemist. You know the pill is there, you're just to scared to go in and get it"

 

[HotTinRoof]

There was a Pies supporter with a sense of humour at the round 24 match last year, close to the end and with the pies a fair way behind. He was staying till the bitter end and was good-humouredly sledging his own team and was quite funny.
Sadly, the only thing I can remember was his comment early in the 4th "C'mon boys, 12 or 13 quick goals and we're right back in this game", delivered with a dry sense of hopelessly misplaced positivity.
If that was you, well played, sir.

 

[MisterMarcus]

There was a Pies supporter with a sense of humour at the round 24 match last year, close to the end and with the pies a fair way behind. He was staying till the bitter end and was good-humouredly sledging his own team and was quite funny.
Sadly, the only thing I can remember was his comment early in the 4th "C'mon boys, 12 or 13 quick goals and we're right back in this game", delivered with a dry sense of hopelessly misplaced positivity.
If that was you, well played, sir.

Similar one, Geelong was beating whoever by 10 goals early in the last quarter. An opposition fan with a sense of humour booms out:

"C'mon boys, still time if you're good enough!!"

(pause)

".......I just don't think you're good enough!"

 

[Hand]

Some guy in the crowd after the ball is run from one end to the other unopposed: "Loose men everywhere! What is this a Prahran nightclub?!"

Hahaha brilliant

 

[bluepride]

A Carlton game last year, cant remember the exact game..may have been the saints.

There was a bit of a swirly breeze, quite chilly (a gale).

Hampson had shot 30ish out on a slight angle and he missed the lot.

A bloke yells out "i hope you dont miss when the other gale is blowing you"

Sooo funny haha, loved it.

 

[Pera]

I remember heading out to Optus one afternoon to watch the Blues play an interstate team. Can't remember much as I was pretty young but it was during the time where Kouta was having problems over the sponsorship of his boots (lots of big companies wanting his sponsorship).

Anyways, Kouta was having a stinker. A fan two rows behind me came out with:

"The way you're playing Kouta, you'd be lucky to get sponsored by Grosby". The whole bay when into laughter.

 

[dogsbody]

Early '90s. Footscray v Fitzroy at the Western Oval. Chris Grant gets a free kick. Wag, obviously a Fitzroy supporter, behind me yells out "They should call him Government Grant - always gets it for free."

 

[Giants FC]

Went out with a couple of mates to the Swans game tonight.
A trainer was giving Liam Jurrah a drink, and a Swans fan with a good heckling voice calls out "That drink's not what's on the label. It's a potion that turns you into a homicidal axe-weilding maniac". He pauses for a breath and continues "It's a sort of cure, for not being a homicidal axe-weilding maniac".