Getting your girlfriend to lose weight?

[the_fresh]

How can it be done?
I'm sick to death of going shopping with her only for her to crack the shits because she doesn't like the clothes or they don't fit.
We've spent more than $200 on shakes and those weight loss bars, yet she won't touch them.
I feel like writing on them "high in fat" just to see if she has them.
She won't come for a walk with me, she'll get home from work, change and hot the couch.

Her mother and other family members are very big, when we first got to together she was no more than a size 12, now out to a size 16 and heading to a 18.
Yet whenever I mention "we should join a gym", "we should lose some weight" or "we should try to get fit" I end up in the dog house.

The worst thing is she knows how I feel about larger women and doesn't seem to care.
She uses the "I work hard" as an excuse and yes she does, but I've worked jut as hard, and played football until I was 32. She's 23 and when I was 23 I couldn't sit still.

How can I get her to lose weight?

 

[davesnothere]

Your problem not hers...she's happy to be a fat lazy slob and you're kidding your self you can change her.....move on its only going to get worse

 

[vealesy]

An ex put on 16kg in our first year together. She just didnt understand that you need to MOVE and exercise, even after a hard day at work. I told her its either me or the hot chips.

She ended up getting gastric banding and losing a fair bit of weight, still no exercise though. I dumped her because she completely stopped cooking/eating and i ended up getting fat from hot chips.

Lost all the weight and got a new gf with a better attitude.

Its a lifestyle thing. Filter your selection of partners better. If they dont exercise at all, they will become obese.

 

[Password is Taco]

I would suggest portion control (as part of meals). You cook it (buy it) and serve it. Offer fresh fruit for dessert. Maybe download a yoga class from the internet, and progress from there?

 

[Thistle]

Make her go on top

But seriously just give her the talk. Say that one of the reasons that you were first attracted to her was that she took care and could control herself and now you are worried that she is not the same person you fell in love with. Encourage her to go on walks with you and go from there.

 

[Iason]

You hit the nail right on the head by suggesting losing weight together. Go with Thistle's idea now.

 

[Colin D'Cops]

If they can't respect themselves, how can you expect them to respect others?

Thistle speaks the truth. I'd do that if it came to it - which it does sound like it.

 

[the_fresh]

You hit the nail right on the head by suggesting losing weight together. Go with Thistle's idea now.

I've tried this, in fact for new years I was looking at the gym around the corner, I'm not into doing weights, just swimming and running. I had prices and info. I got "what, so I'm fat now" from her and the other line "stop trying to change me".

Now I love this girl, have since day 1, but this is driving me nuts. I go for a walk with the dog I get "you only do it to make me feel bad".

Her mother is huge, I to my friends call her the waiting heart attack, in fact, its a medical wonder how she hasn't had one by now. The last thing I want is for her to get anywhere near that size.
My girlfriends school years were hell because of it, her mum was the butt of just about every joke at that school. I don't want our kids to go through that at all. I hate seeing how down she gets when she goes clothes shopping and I hate hearing about all the crap she missed out on because her mum was her size.
I don't believe in the fat gene, I believe that if you work at it you'll stay healthy and I'm not after her to be a size 6 and under weight, just fit and healthy.

 

[Hlebalicious]

Best way i've found is to do it together and not make it seem like a chore. Although i remember trying to get my mrs to come to the gym to me all i got was "confidence issues" or i feel "uncomfortable", suddenly that all changed when we got engaged and she wants to go dress shopping lol (dont go that route however).

Lesson is they aren't going to change because of anything you do, they have to hit a point in their life where they look at themselves and say "Damn i need to do something, i hate the way i look". Whether that is you telling her exactly how you feel or you breaking up with her she just needs a trigger.

 

[vealesy]

I told mine she cant ride me anymore because it bloody hurt.

I also stopped calling her babe and changed it to fatty.

She called it emotional abuse, i called it truth.

 

[Hlebalicious]

I told mine she cant ride me anymore because it bloody hurt.

I also stopped calling her babe and changed it to fatty.

She called it emotional abuse, i called it truth.

Truth has to be told sometimes, women need to realise that.

 

[Kram]

My sister went from being quite slim when younger to at times very fat now in her 30s mostly from eating too much crap like bread and cakes. Nobody expects people to be stick figures but letting yourself go like that is just terrible and must be very bad for your health..

 

[the_fresh]

one of the issues with my girlfriend is I don't think she knows whats good or bad for you because of her mother.

I've never known any other family to eat ice cream because dinner is taking a little longer.
She always has cake here, she'll eat half of it, leave it in the lounge room and give me a dirty look when I say I don't want any.
Add to that, the laziness.

The thing is she used to be really fit, she played for Victoria in Soccer right up to 18, her whole family talks about how fit she used to be and I just can't see it because of what she's like now.

 

[ThePezDispenser]

You're in trouble.

Although not to those extremes my partner has put on weight now and then and thankfully she'll do something herself before I need to say anything to her. Sure I can always suggest healthy options and like, and to join me in the gym or going for a walk, but unless people want to be fitter and healthier you won't be able to change them.

 

[ioppolo]

She's in serious denial. Sounds like an intervention is needed.

 

[thekelvin]

Cut her off.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
If she's not what you want, why settle for it?

 

[the_fresh]

well done on dating a girl 10 years younger than you btw? or is that a double typo?

nope, no typo.
Met when I went back to study, 10 years & 3 months.

She was born the week before Gazza tore it apart in a losing grand final and I still remind her every chance I get that it was the best game I've ever seen live.

Apart from the weight issue (and her mother calling every single time you sit down to eat or play the beast with 2 backs) its the only thing I don't like about her. I'm more worried than anything because like I've said, her mother is a medical wonder not to have had a heart attack and if she thinks that that size is normal & ok then she'll end up that size and miss out on everything her mother missed out on.

 

[Kram]

Get her to take up methamphetamine?

Seriously though it would be hard to change someone raised in a family that thought it's ok to eat ice cream before dinner.

 

[LukasTheGreat]

She's let herself go, it's time for you to do the same (let her go, not yourself)

 

[Bazzar]

What does she hate most in a man? Whatever it is you make it your goal to excel at it. When she is driven nuts, you make the compromise about her inactivity.

 

[FootyJunkie]

move on, find a girl that will respect her own body

 

[WCErevival]

The problem is its the early/mid 20s when women start to naturally put on a bit of weight if they are not careful. Same with guys too really. If they were chubby to begin with its not looking good for the future especially if they dont want to make any effort. Seen it happen to a few mates missus's. They are curvy through the late teens/early 20s then just balloon out a few years later.

 

[Andronicus]

You can lead a horse to water,

Smooth.

Point out every fat guy you see in public and ask her if she finds him attractive. Act surprised when she says no.

 

[Bazzar]

The problem is its the early/mid 20s when women start to naturally put on a bit of weight if they are not careful. Same with guys too really. If they were chubby to begin with its not looking good for the future especially if they dont want to make any effort. Seen it happen to a few mates missus's. They are curvy through the late teens/early 20s then just balloon out a few years later.

PMSL.. Your missus must love you.

 

[THRILLHO]

You're in trouble simply because she comes from such a poor nutritional background with her family. But, you just have to slowly push her into eating better and exercising more. Gentle teasing or even harsh realities won't work (except in rare cases where the girl is rational enough to take emotion out of debating) and may even make things worse.

Two things you can do: go for a walk together before or after dinner and make sure you're in charge of serving up dinner. You might have to bribe her with exercise. "C'mon, let's go down to the oval, I wanna do some chin-ups on the play equipment. If you come with me, I'll do the vacuuming after dinner."

Portion control is a big thing and before my girlfriend learnt about calories and counting she used to eat a similar sized meal to me. Girls need 1200 calories a day, men need 1800. 300 calories per meal plus snacks and men can beef up meals or add extra snacks.

We both became a bit sedentary when working full-time and I look back and shake my head at how depressing our lives were. We'd work, come home, maybe go to the gym once or twice a week, and then just couch it until bed. Rut. For some reason, we started walking together before dinner and that was the slippery slope for both of us taking our bodies more seriously. Went from one a day, to two a day, and sometimes three a day, and now she's exercising properly as well as walking twice a day.

But, you can't force her, they need a lightbulb moment. Do any of her friends do Michelle Bridges' 12 Week Body Transformation? My gf is on her second round of that and has managed to get a few of her friends signed up, which in turn, get their friends signed up. Most girls I know who've done it have lost ~5kgs.

You have a massive uphill battle ahead of you if she sees nothing wrong with icecream before dinner. I know I come back to my parents place for a few days and just shake my head at my overweight parents eating from plates that are groaning under the weight of their food and my sister is drinking Coke and complaining about her weight.