How many minutes of good footy do geelong have to play to beat hawthorn ?

[Flawed Genius]

Who can be the photojournalist? And for that matter which poor demented Bay 13 souls can play the poor demented French souls left behind to defend their plantation.

Demented French souls - Hawthorn supporters.
As the French do, they never win wars/arguments.

 

[Boyler_Room]

geelong are 100 points better than them, just look at how good geelong are when they actually try its like they are a level above AFL standard.Just imagine what will happen when they play like that for 4 quarters

Too bad for Essendon that the only time they decided to play 4 consistent quarters this year was against them. If they play like that they are unstoppable.

Nope. Essendon are just that bad.

 

[BWST]

I'm in, i'm in.....wheres me gattlin gun !!

 

[BWST]

I'm in!!!

I hope the others like Tripe!!

If it means eating tripe, and a cease fire against the Purplies, then so be it.

But Bushie.......i'm sure ya can serve up some Wild Cat every now and again, that camp oven of yours has to come into it's own.

 

[Biffinator]

I'm in, i'm in.....wheres me gattlin gun !!

BWST, I admire your fortitude, but I really wonder if you understand the risks.

Geelong Crazy 26 is as mad as a cut snake, and ergo, a dangerous enemy.

Hodge2Franklin - very bravely - gave him the full-bore Judy Garland gatling-gun treatment and he emerged impervious to such firepower.

GC26 mangles words.

GC26 mangles sentences

GC26 mangles logic

If you come into range, his massive over-bite might extend to your personage and you might end up being mangled yourself.

He is also a master of Chemical Warfare, appearing as he does as number 4 in Palmolive Gold's Top Ten Most Wanted Smelly Botts.

No photographs of GC 26 exist. I am told reliably, however, that if you microwave a photograph of Corey the Party Animal, then you will have an approximation.

Good luck on your mission up the Barwon River.

Biffinator.

PS - Much like the Marine on Aliens took a shottie with him as a final defence, I suggest you load up on a Don Scott Electric Pool Pony - well, at least I think it is a pool pony.

 

[Mcchawk]

Oy LunchLady, don't change ya name... You're an institution now!

Yeah Australia lose weight

 

[Rodger Pedactor]

BWST, I admire your fortitude, but I really wonder if you understand the risks.

Geelong Crazy 26 is as mad as a cut snake, and ergo, a dangerous enemy.

No photographs of GC 26 exist. I am told reliably, however, that if you microwave a photograph of Corey the Party Animal, then you will have an approximation.

PS - Much like the Marine on Aliens took a shottie with him as a final defence, I suggest you load up on a Don Scott Electric Pool Pony - well, at least I think it is a pool pony.

Biff,

We've had reports from assets in the Barwon jungle that the best way to locate and identify GC 26 is by his loud and distinctive nocturnal mating calls (yes, who'd've thought ... but don't worry, the offspring are born sterile). It reportedly sounds like a large hand held catapult being spun overhead followed by the sound of a cockatoo being strangled. It's quite disturbing - particularly in the rainforest at night.

As an alternative to the Don Scott Electric Pool Pony, can I suggest the warriors bring a lava lamp. Like all primitive life forms, GC 26 can be attracted by the light and then when he gets down to the waters edge, H2F can throw the lamp in the river and fry the little bugger. This is a technique we pioneered at the Cranbourne Rubber Chicken Factory to deal with some monster chooks that were accidentally feed with an experimental growth hormone. If it can work on a 10 foot rubber chicken, it'll probably work on GC 26.

Rodge

 

[keefriffhard]

Comrades.

Bay 13 Military Intelligence has learnt that the Poor Man's Colonel Kurtz, Geelong Crazy 26, has set up a ten foot high inflatable Brad "Louis Vuitton" Ottens statue in his fortified mobile-home compound, and now his fellow Geelong Zombies are worshipping it as a god.

His command has to be terminated.

He has gone troppo from all the Barwon River Mosquito bites and an exclusive diet of cheezels.

A Bay 13 Gunboat, therefore, has to travel up the Barwon River to this end.

I nominate the following posters to undertake this frightful mission:

As Captain Willard: well, I could easily nominate H2F, as he would unhesitatingly fulfill the mission and do so with relish. That being said, he would be too easily distracted by the Asian women on the way with the big cans.

I need someone who is going to still quietly by himself in the back of the gunboat with the Bay 13 Military Intelligence dossier in hand and a glint in his eye. That means Keefrithhard.

The Cook: well, it can only be one person, and we know who that is Bushie. Go easy on the M-60 and the Mo.

The Captain of the Gunboat: I need someone who, like his cinematic mirror, is somewhat uptight. One candidate comes to mind: my West Horshamite comrade, Exit. Captain Exit, this could be your moment.

The Jim Morrison acid-head surfer type: this is a hard one, and no one really comes to mind on bay 13. I will need to import an actor at this point, and it can only be Nitro Tiger from the website that we dare not mention. He is not of this earth. "She comes in colours everywhere, she combs her hair, she's like a rainbow" - The Stones, 1967.

That leaves the young Lawrence Fisburne gunner at the front. I have always liked BWST. he has got plenty of fight, and this attribute will be needed if Geelong Crazy 26 is to meet his metaphorical demise.

please let me know, gentlemen, if you are willing to travel up the Barwon River to the Heart of Darkness, the Inner Station, and the lair of Geelong Crazy 26.

Biffinator.

"I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn't even know it yet. Weeks away and hundreds of miles up a river that snaked through the war like a main circuit cable - plugged straight into GC_26. It was no accident that I got to be the caretaker of GC_26 memory - any more than being back in Geelong was an accident. There is no way to tell his story without telling my own. And if his story really is a confession, then so is mine."

 

[keefriffhard]

The Cook: well, it can only be one person, and we know who that is Bushie. Go easy on the M-60 and the Mo.

I see Bushie more as Colonel Killgore:

"He was one of those guys that had that weird light around him. You just knew he wasn't going to get so much as a scratch here. "

Bushie do you surf???

 

[bushie]

I see Bushie more as Colonel Killgore:

"He was one of those guys that had that weird light around him. You just knew he wasn't going to get so much as a scratch here. "

Bushie do you surf???

Sadly, only pr0n sites nowdays.

But in my day I rode breaks at Quobba and Kalbarri. (True)

Yeah, I know....but I can't remember the bloody film!!

 

[Collins-Langford-Ayres]

Actually, can't remember the last time you beat us. How many minutes did you have to play then?

 

[Biffinator]

Biff,

We've had reports from assets in the Barwon jungle that the best way to locate and identify GC 26 is by his loud and distinctive nocturnal mating calls (yes, who'd've thought ... but don't worry, the offspring are born sterile). It reportedly sounds like a large hand held catapult being spun overhead followed by the sound of a cockatoo being strangled. It's quite disturbing - particularly in the rainforest at night.


Rodge

Rodger, in addition to your suggestions above, should we also ask Nexus Helen to accompany the Bay 13 gunboat as it travels up the Barwon River to track down GC26?

She, for one, would not be deterred by GC26's current mating bacchanal.

Moreover, it might be a case of "the biter gets bit."

We also need to stage the Bay 13 Playbunny concert half way up the River.

Nexus Helen, Lunchlady Doris (sorry mate), Celtic Pride and Man City Blues can all strut their stuff for the enjoyment of our resolute troops.

Biffinator.

 

[Biffinator]

"I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn't even know it yet. Weeks away and hundreds of miles up a river that snaked through the war like a main circuit cable - plugged straight into GC_26. It was no accident that I got to be the caretaker of GC_26 memory - any more than being back in Geelong was an accident. There is no way to tell his story without telling my own. And if his story really is a confession, then so is mine."

K, "any more than being back in Geelong was an accident" is currently the best line in this thread by a mile.

Biffinator.

 

[Rodger Pedactor]

Rodger, in addition to your suggestions above, should we also ask Nexus Helen to accompany the Bay 13 gunboat as it travels up the Barwon River to track down GC26?

We also need to stage the Bay 13 Playbunny concert half way up the River. Nexus Helen, Lunchlady Doris (sorry mate), Celtic Pride and Man City Blues can all strut their stuff for the enjoyment of our resolute troops.

Biffinator.

I haven't encountered Nexus Helen, but I know her by reputation. I would be concerned for the safety of the men in the gunboat if she was in the hold. Chef would likely have the same reaction as he did to the tiger in the jungle every time he went down to the galley.

As for a genetic coupling of Nexus and Crazy - that is genuinely terrifying. There would be spare chromosomes lying around all over the place.

But even more scary than that, is the idea of Celtic Pride dressing up as a playboy bunny. That would be akin to the aversion therapy inflicted on Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange. Poor Bushie would never be able to "surf" again, without projectile vomitting on the screen.

Rodge

 

[Biffinator]

I haven't encountered Nexus Helen, but I know her by reputation. I would be concerned for the safety of the men in the gunboat if she was in the hold. Chef would likely have the same reaction as he did to the tiger in the jungle every time he went down to the galley.

As for a genetic coupling of Nexus and Crazy - that is genuinely terrifying. There would be spare chromosomes lying around all over the place.

But even more scary than that, is the idea of Celtic Pride dressing up as a playboy bunny. That would be akin to the aversion therapy inflicted on Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange. Poor Bushie would never be able to "surf" again, without projectile vomitting on the screen.

Rodge

Rodger, Geelong Crazy 26's uneasy relationship with the decimal system has got a lot to do with his excessive number of fingers and toes.

This consideration has had a direct impact of academic accomplishments, such as they are.

Even so, I would like to think he would understand this sign if we were to hang it from the Bay 13 gunboat if Nexus Helen were on board at the time:

As the Director, I want to make a cast change to the new Bay 13 remake of Apocalypse Now.

Here it is: Out with Nitro Tiger as the Jim Morrison surfie type, and in with our very own Corpuscles, who clearly has the chutzpah to nail the role

Now to a wider consideration: gattling guns alone, supplemented by Nexus Helen in a boob-tube, are not going to deter a wild animal such as Geelong Crazy 26.

What other weaponry can we deploy?

Well, back in 'Nam Charlie used to play records in the jungle in the middle of the night to unnerve the GI-s.

I suggest we do a reverse Charlie - install a pumpin' sound-system into the Bay 13 gunboat, hang the speakers over the side and thump out hits from, say, The Boy from Oz, as they venture up the Barwon River.

Charlie doesn't surf.

Geelong Crazy 26 doesn't do Showtunes.

Biffinator.

 

[Corpuscles]

Well... I have received orders by urgent top secret telegram to return to duty at Bay 13... breaking me away from my fluzzies and pina colada ferlow!!

Boy oh Boy do I luv a stouch I have arrive at the scene only to observe that the foe is none other than that attention seeking deranged whore...GC26!

pfff. that is not a battle..... easily solved as I seeBushie has been conscripted and offered his gormet Tripe.... enough to kill 10,000 GC26's!!!
If laced with some genuine Dawk Bull#%@# from H2F the death could be almost instantaneous but as painful as a brown (yellow poo) snake venom.

Sorry guys... take more than GC26 to distract mefron the fluuuuzzies!


Crazy.... don't squeel you are probably on the right track....

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.

In the insane babblings of Bbbbb.omber T....
Leave him alone... ALL OF YUOUSE!!

 

[bushie]

Commander Biff,

I am locked, loaded and ready to rock and roll.

The tripe has been pre-packaged and cryovacced, and I have taken the trouble to marinate it 13 different ways.

I hope that I haven't blown HQ's budget, however I took the liberty to order in the ingredients for one of my culinary specialities.

Haggis....The lungs, hearts, livers, kidneys, sheeps stomach and blood have been received and vac packed. All that is needed is my special touch, a bit of cigarette ash and few generous early morning smokers hacks.

With this sort of nutrition inside them, the boys will surely be unstoppable.

I really do pity poor GC26, he is in for one hell of an arse whipping!!!

For my own personal preparation, I have dug up some old vinyl records, and have listened to Mr Mojo Rising sing The End until it has worn a deep groove into the 33 and a third.

I am ready sir and I can't wait.

I just love the smell of napalm in the morning!!

 

[Biffinator]

Commander Biff,


I really do pity poor GC26, he is in for one hell of an arse whipping!!!

For my own personal preparation, I have dug up some old vinyl records, and have listened to Mr Mojo Rising sing The End until it has worn a deep groove into the 33 and a third.

I am ready sir and I can't wait.

I just love the smell of napalm in the morning!!

Bushie and Corpuscles - welcome aboard. Yes, "this is the end . . . for GC 26."

Some advice for the two of you: Jim Morrison is there to be listened to, not emulated.

We already have Keefriffhard and BWST on board the gunboat.

Bay 13 Military Intelligence is picking up a lot of Moose Noises emanating from the source of the Barwon River.

This can only be Geelong Crazy 26. It must be that time of the month.

But where is our Captain ???

Exit - stop sulking and report for duty, or else I will give the gig to Toots Hibbert, and you can peal the potatoes back at the Trang for the remainder of the production.

BWST - can you please give Exit the hurry up?

Biffinator.

 

[keefriffhard]

Sadly, only pr0n sites nowdays.

But in my day I rode breaks at Quobba and Kalbarri. (True)

Yeah, I know....but I can't remember the bloody film!!

You've had a crack at everything Bushie! Hopefully not my missus too...

I spent way too long trying to embed this vid and have given up in frustration. I feel completely computer illiterate. So here's a link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etCq4KCHZt0

 

[keefriffhard]

But even more scary than that, is the idea of Celtic Pride dressing up as a playboy bunny.

Rodge I don't believe that the USO is a registered sporting entity, so unfortunately Celtic may not be persuaded to alter his allegiance.

Plus Hugh says NO....

 

[thatswhatimtalkinabout]

More than happy to be your wingman Keefy.

[youtube]etCq4KCHZt0[/youtube]

 

[crawf_legend]

Hawks will beat Geelong and you will be the one crying. Arrogant Pussy.

 

[PoidaCat]

Lol!

 

[IzzaConda]

Hawks will beat Geelong and you will be the one crying. Arrogant Pussy.

Flags since 1859:

Geelong 14

Tassie 9

Oh yeah...WE'LL BE CRYIN FOR SURE!....being premiers is TOUGH!

 

[PoidaCat]

14 > 9