If football teams were women

[The Griffenator]

Adelaide would be J-Lo - Quality all over, but especially good down back.


West Coast would be Kylie Minogue - very decent despite not having much
up front.


Fremantle would be Danii Minogue - Always trying hard to be as good as
her big sister, but will never measure up. The butt of everyone's jokes.


St Kilda would be Krystal from Big Brother - has the biggest and best
assets going around, but we all know they're not the real deal.


Brisbane would be Elle MacPherson - past her glorious best but still
easy on the eye and an old favourite with most.


Port Power would be Madonna - also past her glorious best, but refuses
to accept it gracefully.


Carlton would be Whitney Houston - has not looked after herself in
recent years and has gone completely off the rails.


Sydney would be Delta Goodrem - tidy, attractive, professional and
uncontroversial. Nice to look at, but for some reason just makes you
want to yawn.


Geelong would be Britney Spears - at times can look stunning, at others
it can get ugly.


Essendon would be Katie Holmes - has a certifiable psycho in charge of
her every move. Has lost credibility in recent times.


The Kangaroos would be Paris Hilton - lays down way too easily.


Richmond would be Annabel Chong - can cop a pounding and keep coming
back for more, all in the name of self-improvement.


Western Bulldogs would be Shakira - proof that being short is no barrier
to getting you excited. Will only get better too.


Hawthorn would be Christina Aguilera - looks like she enjoys it rough
and dirty.


Melbourne would be Princess Di - may be a blue blood, but hasn't done
anything for a while.


Collingwood would be Amelie Mauresmo - last woman on Earth scenario: you
still wouldn't.

 

[sydney eagle]

I like that assessment !

 

[Bombers 2003]

Adelaide would be J-Lo - Quality all over, but especially good down back.


West Coast would be Kylie Minogue - very decent despite not having much
up front.


Fremantle would be Danii Minogue - Always trying hard to be as good as
her big sister, but will never measure up. The butt of everyone's jokes.


St Kilda would be Krystal from Big Brother - has the biggest and best
assets going around, but we all know they're not the real deal.


Brisbane would be Elle MacPherson - past her glorious best but still
easy on the eye and an old favourite with most.


Port Power would be Madonna - also past her glorious best, but refuses
to accept it gracefully.


Carlton would be Whitney Houston - has not looked after herself in
recent years and has gone completely off the rails.


Sydney would be Delta Goodrem - tidy, attractive, professional and
uncontroversial. Nice to look at, but for some reason just makes you
want to yawn.


Geelong would be Britney Spears - at times can look stunning, at others
it can get ugly.


Essendon would be Katie Holmes - has a certifiable psycho in charge of
her every move. Has lost credibility in recent times.


The Kangaroos would be Paris Hilton - lays down way too easily.


Richmond would be Annabel Chong - can cop a pounding and keep coming
back for more, all in the name of self-improvement.


Western Bulldogs would be Shakira - proof that being short is no barrier
to getting you excited. Will only get better too.


Hawthorn would be Christina Aguilera - looks like she enjoys it rough
and dirty.


Melbourne would be Princess Di - may be a blue blood, but hasn't done
anything for a while.


Collingwood would be Amelie Mauresmo - last woman on Earth scenario: you
still wouldn't.

Hawthorn-Felicity Kennett-does the opposite of what jeffery wants her to do.

 

[Monocle]

Cheers, Nice Work

 

[judburyjets]

That is solid gold

 

[Thongdam]

Fantastic but I love this one

Richmond would be Annabel Chong - can cop a pounding and keep coming
back for more, all in the name of self-improvement.

Perfect assessment!

 

[local]

Collingwood could also be Paris Hilton. Famous for achieving nothing.

 

[TheWackedYak]

I want my footy team to have jugs!!! Shakira

Surely Collingwood's the toothless fat woman smoking out the front of Centrelink

I know, I know, most of these women live in the Doggies heartland...but they all support the Pies

Very clever thread...nice work!!

 

[Skeppersap]

Collingwood could also be Paris Hilton. Famous for achieving nothing.

Hahahaha.....nice addition mate.

 

[SurreyBlue]

One of the best pieces every written on Bigfooty. Well done.

 

[JUBJUB]

If football teams were women

Milne and Montagna would be in heaven

 

[Lonie_from_50]

Yeah, that's great. Great read, on the spot, perfect analysing and bagging Collingwood at the same time. Perfect thread

 

[Muffo]

St Kilda would be Krystal from Big Brother - has the biggest and best assets going around, but we all know they're not the real deal.

LOL

 

[andypie]

Collingwood could also be Paris Hilton. Famous for achieving nothing.

as could another side you are familiar with

 

[andypie]

bravo.
very amusing.

 

[andypie]

Hahahaha.....nice addition mate.

glass houses you people, all of you.

 

[Ari]

Very happy with Essendon being Katie Holmes... shes hot!!!!!!!!

Really though, Essendon dont deserve that. I mean, 1 and 11? How about....

Magda Szubanski: Big, noisy, and obnoxious. Overimportant but cant deliver when it comes to the crunch! Leaves people cringing and wishing they'd looked the other way!

 

[raikkonen]

I think that this thread is good, but the Van Berlo thread deserves 'stickying' rights over this

 

[Kildonan]

I think that this thread is good, but the Van Berlo thread deserves 'stickying' rights over this

I stickied it on two separate occasions, but the later posts can not hold a candle to the early posts in the thread.

This one has enormous potential so I stickied it. If it goes stale, it will go the way of the dinosaurs as well.

I will sticky threads if I think they hold universal appeal, are funny or thought provoking or even just popular. But the quality must be maintained or they go.

The van Berlo thread became "artificially" better because I deleted so many junk posts out of it to maintain the intensity of the humourous aspect, but I can only justify deleting so many before it becomes a chore and/or censorship (hence intruding on posters' freedom of speech/expression).

 

[raikkonen]

I stickied it on two separate occasions, but the later posts can not hold a candle to the early posts in the thread.

This one has enormous potential so I stickied it. If it goes stale, it will go the way of the dinosaurs as well.

I will sticky threads if I think they hold universal appeal, are funny or thought provoking or even just popular. But the quality must be maintained or they go.

The van Berlo thread became "artificially" better because I deleted so many junk posts out of it to maintain the intensity of the humourous aspect, but I can only justify deleting so many before it becomes a chore and/or censorship (hence intruding on posters' freedom of speech/expression).

And what does Van Berlo think of this?

But in all seriousness, fair enough.

 

[beatnik]

as could another side you are familiar with

not true - richmond also achieve nothing but are famous for something else (i.e. infighting)

jokes

 

[cleveland]

If football clubs were woman

IF FOOTY CLUBS WERE WOMEN...



Adelaide Crows - Delta Goodrem. Tidy, attractive, professional and uncontroversial. Nice to look at, but for some reason just makes you want to yawn.

Brisbane Lions - Elle MacPherson. Past her glorious best but still easy on the eye and an old favourite with most.

Carlton Blues - Whitney Houston. Has not looked after herself in recent years and has gone completely off the rails.

Collingwood Magpies - Amelie Mauresmo. Last woman on Earth scenario : you still wouldn't.

Essendon Bombers - Katie Holmes. Has a certifiable psycho in charge of her every move. Has lost credibility in recent times.

Fremantle Dockers - Danii Minogue. Always trying hard to be as good as her big sister, but will never measure up. The butt of everyone's jokes.

Geelong Cats - Britney Spears. At times can look stunning, at others it can get ugly.

Hawthorn Hawks - Christina Aguilera. Looks like she enjoys it rough and dirty.

Kangaroos - Paris Hilton. Lay's down way too easily.

Melbourne Demons - Princess Diana. May be a blue blood, but hasn't done anything for a while.

Port Adelaide Power - Madonna. Also past her glorious best, but refuses to accept it gracefully.

Richmond Tigers - Annabel Chong. Can cop a pounding and keep coming back for more, all in the name of self-improvement.

St Kilda Saints - Krystal from Big Brother. Has the biggest and best assets going around, but we all know they're not the real deal.

Sydney Swans - J-Lo. Quality all over, but especially good down back.

Western Bulldogs - Shakira. Proof that being short is no barrier to getting you excited. Will only get better too.

West Coast Eagles - Kylie Minogue. Very decent despite not having much up front.

 

[cleveland]

Pardon my ignorance, i didnt see this already in here and was emailed this and laughed so hard i thought i would share it. Sorry

 

[Belly]

Geelong could also be Paris Hilton, nobody wants to go down there... but they feel like they have too.

 

[Kildonan]

Pardon my ignorance, i didnt see this already in here and was emailed this and laughed so hard i thought i would share it. Sorry

Its all cool