Jethro Q Walrustitty
Team Captain
Our number one's Blake Caracella
His opponents let him stray
And he looks a bit like that Josh fella
That lives in Summer Bay
Who's the defender that's all-out attack?
It's our very own Chris Johnson
He could easily play Running Back
For Green Bay in Wisconsin
Michael Voss will end his days
With limbs and joints synthetic
But he'll never change the way he plays
So pass the anaesthetic!
Now Fly may be getting slower
But he's still a brilliant tackler
A bewty, bottla, red-hot-goer
To use the local vernac'lar
Brad Scott's untimely fractured leg
Left him feeling rather hollow
Now this of him we humbly beg:
Go sue the pants off Collo!
The Ferret's skills are without peer
His disposal is always tidy
And when he wants to buy a beer
He has to show some I.D.
Apparently Jason Gram is 'hot'
Our former next-door neighb'
Each time we see him out he's got
On either arm a babe
Timmy Notting, number eight
The player known as Possum
How long now've we had to wait
For this young bloke to blossum?
It's in the encyclopedia
Our Ash's premiership glory
So when will the flippin' media
Stop referring to him as Cory?
Marcus Ashcroft, Lion, Bear
He's finally ran his race
He's been around since Normy Dare
And Chris and Pixie Skase
Lynchy popped DHEA
Took ice-cold baths and showers
It woke him up before he'd play
After sleeping 18 hours
What can we say about number twelve?
That crazy Akermanis
Our thoughts on him we'll have to shelve
Or the mods on here will ban us
Martin Pike, all bald and buffed
A sober man and true
He told the Pies to go get stuffed
And stuck it up Joffa, too
Richard Hadley's name's familiar
And now he's got his chance
Lions fans, he's gonna thrill ya
Dean Jones'll wet his pants
Mal Michael cracks gags
Mal Michael has fun
Mal's got three flags
And Molly's got none
Just how tough is Browny?
It's amazing what that guy did
He took the top off a Crowny
Using only his left eyelid
Jared Brennan is the bee's
He's got elastic limbs
He talks a funny Darwinese
And works out hard in gyms
Little Nuxy likes a drink
And dashing from defence
Let's hope he stays out of the clink
And saves his car from dents
Jamie Charman, hard as nails
Opponents, he'll just wreck 'em
And if, by chance, his career fails
He's always got Van Bekkum
Simon Black's invigorated
He's knees no longer wonky
And now he is more decorated
Than Simpson and his donkey
Big Strawb Merrett, 21
I used to be a doubter
It made me cringe to watch him run
Now I'm his greatest touter
Chris Scott's season went to waste
Through ills and injury
His white-line fever was replaced
By Osteitis P.
Each year as Leppa gets older
He never gets down in the gob
Although he's mangled his shoulder
And his sister lost her job
Remember when Boofa had dreads?
That's J. Wright for the unlearned
Well, he chopped them to suit his new threads
Now he looks like Yes Minister's Bernard
Dylan McLaren's a sight
His dress causes women to totter
Except for on player's revue night
When he's a scalpel off being Carlotta
Joely Mac, man of talents
He plays guitar and sings
Let's hope he can maintain a balance
'Tween Sherrins and six-strings
Crackers' injuries have been so cruel
He's a doctors' room life member
So wrap him up in cotton wool
And release him in September
Selwood's a star in the makin'
But he should keep his feet and not fall
Cos his opponents are always mistakin'
His head for the flamin' ball
When sun's a-shinin' or rain's a-peltin'
When there's a hole he'll plug it
His registered name is Mr. Paul Shelton
'Tho he answers more promptly to 'Nugget'
Bushie is a local lad
He plays for us, quite luckily
He gets on grandly with his dad
But not with Nathan Buckley
Weller's on the rookie list
And he must be learning karate
Why else headbutt someone's fist
At the Grand Final after party?
Harty is a Christian soldier
The Lord doth light his way
Don't deny he ever told ya
When it comes to Judgement Day
Darryl's never shown too much malice
But trouble just wouldn't elude him
On retirement he'd be made Mayor of Alice
But his record might just preclude him
We can't be more emphatic
We've prayed and prayed and prayed
God help Aaron Shattock
He comes from Adelaide
Morro's skills are so sublime
The envy of the AFLQ
And in the huddle at quarter time
He often has a spew
Daniel Bradshaw now can play
Up forward and down back
To think some people used to say
That Braddy was a hack
Pratty was moving pretty quick
He had no time to linger
He tried to mark that mongrel kick
But sadly snapped his finger
Nicholas Raines, I've heard said
Is more co-ordinated than a cat
But he nearly took off Mr Ripper's head
With a table tennis bat
Kevin T. loves his work
And he don't sit on no bench
They reckon that he is a Turk
But he speaks mainly Russian and French
Beau proudly wears forty-three
His surname is plain old McDonald
If you look up his family tree
You'll find he's no cousin of Ronald
Some people think Nigel's a jib
And runs to receive way out wide
But play, as he did, with a rib
His courage you just can't deride
His opponents let him stray
And he looks a bit like that Josh fella
That lives in Summer Bay
Who's the defender that's all-out attack?
It's our very own Chris Johnson
He could easily play Running Back
For Green Bay in Wisconsin
Michael Voss will end his days
With limbs and joints synthetic
But he'll never change the way he plays
So pass the anaesthetic!
Now Fly may be getting slower
But he's still a brilliant tackler
A bewty, bottla, red-hot-goer
To use the local vernac'lar
Brad Scott's untimely fractured leg
Left him feeling rather hollow
Now this of him we humbly beg:
Go sue the pants off Collo!
The Ferret's skills are without peer
His disposal is always tidy
And when he wants to buy a beer
He has to show some I.D.
Apparently Jason Gram is 'hot'
Our former next-door neighb'
Each time we see him out he's got
On either arm a babe
Timmy Notting, number eight
The player known as Possum
How long now've we had to wait
For this young bloke to blossum?
It's in the encyclopedia
Our Ash's premiership glory
So when will the flippin' media
Stop referring to him as Cory?
Marcus Ashcroft, Lion, Bear
He's finally ran his race
He's been around since Normy Dare
And Chris and Pixie Skase
Lynchy popped DHEA
Took ice-cold baths and showers
It woke him up before he'd play
After sleeping 18 hours
What can we say about number twelve?
That crazy Akermanis
Our thoughts on him we'll have to shelve
Or the mods on here will ban us
Martin Pike, all bald and buffed
A sober man and true
He told the Pies to go get stuffed
And stuck it up Joffa, too
Richard Hadley's name's familiar
And now he's got his chance
Lions fans, he's gonna thrill ya
Dean Jones'll wet his pants
Mal Michael cracks gags
Mal Michael has fun
Mal's got three flags
And Molly's got none
Just how tough is Browny?
It's amazing what that guy did
He took the top off a Crowny
Using only his left eyelid
Jared Brennan is the bee's
He's got elastic limbs
He talks a funny Darwinese
And works out hard in gyms
Little Nuxy likes a drink
And dashing from defence
Let's hope he stays out of the clink
And saves his car from dents
Jamie Charman, hard as nails
Opponents, he'll just wreck 'em
And if, by chance, his career fails
He's always got Van Bekkum
Simon Black's invigorated
He's knees no longer wonky
And now he is more decorated
Than Simpson and his donkey
Big Strawb Merrett, 21
I used to be a doubter
It made me cringe to watch him run
Now I'm his greatest touter
Chris Scott's season went to waste
Through ills and injury
His white-line fever was replaced
By Osteitis P.
Each year as Leppa gets older
He never gets down in the gob
Although he's mangled his shoulder
And his sister lost her job
Remember when Boofa had dreads?
That's J. Wright for the unlearned
Well, he chopped them to suit his new threads
Now he looks like Yes Minister's Bernard
Dylan McLaren's a sight
His dress causes women to totter
Except for on player's revue night
When he's a scalpel off being Carlotta
Joely Mac, man of talents
He plays guitar and sings
Let's hope he can maintain a balance
'Tween Sherrins and six-strings
Crackers' injuries have been so cruel
He's a doctors' room life member
So wrap him up in cotton wool
And release him in September
Selwood's a star in the makin'
But he should keep his feet and not fall
Cos his opponents are always mistakin'
His head for the flamin' ball
When sun's a-shinin' or rain's a-peltin'
When there's a hole he'll plug it
His registered name is Mr. Paul Shelton
'Tho he answers more promptly to 'Nugget'
Bushie is a local lad
He plays for us, quite luckily
He gets on grandly with his dad
But not with Nathan Buckley
Weller's on the rookie list
And he must be learning karate
Why else headbutt someone's fist
At the Grand Final after party?
Harty is a Christian soldier
The Lord doth light his way
Don't deny he ever told ya
When it comes to Judgement Day
Darryl's never shown too much malice
But trouble just wouldn't elude him
On retirement he'd be made Mayor of Alice
But his record might just preclude him
We can't be more emphatic
We've prayed and prayed and prayed
God help Aaron Shattock
He comes from Adelaide
Morro's skills are so sublime
The envy of the AFLQ
And in the huddle at quarter time
He often has a spew
Daniel Bradshaw now can play
Up forward and down back
To think some people used to say
That Braddy was a hack
Pratty was moving pretty quick
He had no time to linger
He tried to mark that mongrel kick
But sadly snapped his finger
Nicholas Raines, I've heard said
Is more co-ordinated than a cat
But he nearly took off Mr Ripper's head
With a table tennis bat
Kevin T. loves his work
And he don't sit on no bench
They reckon that he is a Turk
But he speaks mainly Russian and French
Beau proudly wears forty-three
His surname is plain old McDonald
If you look up his family tree
You'll find he's no cousin of Ronald
Some people think Nigel's a jib
And runs to receive way out wide
But play, as he did, with a rib
His courage you just can't deride
But how on earth did you find out about the Raines/Ripper ping pong paddle throwing incident? 
