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Yeah. I ****ed up. Fixed
Reconsidering GWS right now. Might be an interesting week.
The club with more mantras than results will be up next.
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AFLW 2024 - Round 9 - Indigenous Round - Chat, game threads, injury lists, team lineups and more.
JHF1870’s Unfiltered 2024 Team Reviews: Where Honesty Meets Hilarity
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Reconsidering GWS right now. Might be an interesting week.
The club with more mantras than results will be up next.
8th Essendon Bombers
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Bombers' Bombshell: The Great Essendon Implosion of 2024
Rating: C-
Mantras and Mascots: A Misguided Mission
The Essendon Bombers strutted into the 2024 season armed with more mantras than results. Alike the past "Whatever it takes" they chanted "The edge,". But as the season unfolded, it became glaringly clear: all flash, no follow-through. The Bombers' logo, once a symbol of might and majesty, now feels like a cruel irony—an explosive device that never quite detonates.
A History of Heartache
It's been a staggering 19 years since the Bombers last tasted victory in a finals match. That's nearly two decades of promises unkept, hopes dashed, and a fanbase left in perpetual limbo. The Bombers' storied history is now a cautionary tale of how not to manage a football club. Their sagas and scandals have become the stuff of legend, but not in the way anyone would want. It's as if they're stuck in a time loop, destined to repeat the same mistakes ad infinitum.
Raising the Bar, Only to Trip Over It
At the start of the season, we didn't think much of the Bombers. They were expected to hover around mediocrity, but they had the audacity to raise the bar by showing us flashes of potential. Like a mirage in the desert, those glimpses of greatness evaporated when it mattered most. They fell at least three games short of their potential, and as many as five. Their losses were not just disappointing; they were a masterclass in how to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. With 15 wins, they would have been in contention to not only make the finals but actually win one. Instead, they served up a tepid concoction of inconsistency and ineptitude.
Brad Scott: A Better Option, But Not a Savior
Brad Scott was undoubtedly a better choice than Truck Rutten, but let's be honest—the bar was set pretty low. We appreciated Scott's more composed demeanor in the coaches' box, less like a toddler in a tantrum and more like a seasoned statesman. It's a sign of growth, and we like that! But composure alone isn't enough to turn a team around. The Bombers need more than a steady hand; they need a visionary leader who can inspire and galvanize. Scott's leadership is like a well-presented soufflé—looks good but collapses under scrutiny.
The Pass Mark for 2025
Looking ahead to 2025, the pass mark is crystal clear: make the finals and win one. The Bombers need to shed the hype, fly under the radar, and focus on substance over style. It's time for less talk and more action. The mantras and mottos need to be left in the locker room; it's results that matter now.
A Grim Future or a Glimmer of Hope?
The Bombers' 2024 season was a stark reminder of their ongoing struggles and systemic failures. Will 2025 bring a resurgence worthy of their storied history, or will it be another year of unfulfilled promises and shattered dreams? The Bombers' faithful deserve more—a return to glory, not another season of what-ifs and could-have-beens.
If the Bombers don't turn things around soon, they risk becoming the AFL's perennial underachievers—a punchline in the annals of sporting history. Perhaps a total collapse might be a blessing in disguise, forcing a radical reevaluation and a phoenix-like rise from the ashes. Much like Robert Downey Jr.'s meteoric rise from the depths of his troubled past to becoming Iron Man, the Bombers need a complete overhaul to rise anew.
Rating: C-
Mantras and Mascots: A Misguided Mission
The Essendon Bombers strutted into the 2024 season armed with more mantras than results. Alike the past "Whatever it takes" they chanted "The edge,". But as the season unfolded, it became glaringly clear: all flash, no follow-through. The Bombers' logo, once a symbol of might and majesty, now feels like a cruel irony—an explosive device that never quite detonates.
A History of Heartache
It's been a staggering 19 years since the Bombers last tasted victory in a finals match. That's nearly two decades of promises unkept, hopes dashed, and a fanbase left in perpetual limbo. The Bombers' storied history is now a cautionary tale of how not to manage a football club. Their sagas and scandals have become the stuff of legend, but not in the way anyone would want. It's as if they're stuck in a time loop, destined to repeat the same mistakes ad infinitum.
Raising the Bar, Only to Trip Over It
At the start of the season, we didn't think much of the Bombers. They were expected to hover around mediocrity, but they had the audacity to raise the bar by showing us flashes of potential. Like a mirage in the desert, those glimpses of greatness evaporated when it mattered most. They fell at least three games short of their potential, and as many as five. Their losses were not just disappointing; they were a masterclass in how to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. With 15 wins, they would have been in contention to not only make the finals but actually win one. Instead, they served up a tepid concoction of inconsistency and ineptitude.
Brad Scott: A Better Option, But Not a Savior
Brad Scott was undoubtedly a better choice than Truck Rutten, but let's be honest—the bar was set pretty low. We appreciated Scott's more composed demeanor in the coaches' box, less like a toddler in a tantrum and more like a seasoned statesman. It's a sign of growth, and we like that! But composure alone isn't enough to turn a team around. The Bombers need more than a steady hand; they need a visionary leader who can inspire and galvanize. Scott's leadership is like a well-presented soufflé—looks good but collapses under scrutiny.
The Pass Mark for 2025
Looking ahead to 2025, the pass mark is crystal clear: make the finals and win one. The Bombers need to shed the hype, fly under the radar, and focus on substance over style. It's time for less talk and more action. The mantras and mottos need to be left in the locker room; it's results that matter now.
A Grim Future or a Glimmer of Hope?
The Bombers' 2024 season was a stark reminder of their ongoing struggles and systemic failures. Will 2025 bring a resurgence worthy of their storied history, or will it be another year of unfulfilled promises and shattered dreams? The Bombers' faithful deserve more—a return to glory, not another season of what-ifs and could-have-beens.
If the Bombers don't turn things around soon, they risk becoming the AFL's perennial underachievers—a punchline in the annals of sporting history. Perhaps a total collapse might be a blessing in disguise, forcing a radical reevaluation and a phoenix-like rise from the ashes. Much like Robert Downey Jr.'s meteoric rise from the depths of his troubled past to becoming Iron Man, the Bombers need a complete overhaul to rise anew.
jannissary
AAAAAAAAAAARGH!
bit generous imo
Very... Their pass mark is to win a final and has been for more than a decade
Failure to make finals, let alone win one = F
Failure to make finals, let alone win one = F
The swine are eagerly awaiting more pearls 
