- Feb 24, 2013
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Happy cracked the Grumpy & Sads.
-
AFLW 2024 - Round 10 - Chat, game threads, injury lists, team lineups and more.
Lame Jokes Part 2
- Thread starter Hard Ball Get
- Start date
- Tagged users None
Happy cracked the Grumpy & Sads.
GreyCrow
Make me an Admin!
- Mar 21, 2016
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I got a mate that bought a new you beaut sound system for his wheelchair
His party trick is to get onto the dance floor and Rock'N'Roll
His party trick is to get onto the dance floor and Rock'N'Roll
- Banned
- #5,553
An Irish man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk,when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water,subsequently bumping into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol,whereupon, he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk shouts, "Yes, I am."
So the preacher grabs him anddunks him in the water.He pulls him back and asks, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"
The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus!"
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer.He again pulls him out of the water and asks, "Have you found Jesus, brother?"
The drunk answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus!"
By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again –but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds,and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk,"For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"
The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water,catches his breath, and says to the preacher,"Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol,whereupon, he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk shouts, "Yes, I am."
So the preacher grabs him anddunks him in the water.He pulls him back and asks, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"
The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus!"
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer.He again pulls him out of the water and asks, "Have you found Jesus, brother?"
The drunk answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus!"
By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again –but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds,and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk,"For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"
The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water,catches his breath, and says to the preacher,"Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Because it got stuck in a crack.
- Feb 24, 2013
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- #5,555
- Feb 24, 2013
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- Other Teams
- Man Utd Green Bay Melb Storm
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- #5,556
- Feb 24, 2013
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- Man Utd Green Bay Melb Storm
- Banned
- #5,557
- Feb 24, 2013
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- Man Utd Green Bay Melb Storm
- Banned
- #5,559
Do you mean to say beef sproganoff?
That makes for a painful image, given that cows have hoofs n all.
RedmanWasHere
Rarely in kitchens at parties.
- Aug 23, 2010
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So I asked Mr. Holmes to do some plumbing as I've had days old issues at home.
We both stumble upon a toilet bowl.
He says "there's nothing in there."
No shit Sherlock.
We both stumble upon a toilet bowl.
He says "there's nothing in there."
No shit Sherlock.
- Feb 24, 2013
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- #5,561
- Feb 24, 2013
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- #5,562
- Feb 24, 2013
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- #5,563
- Banned
- #5,564
Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.
A: Snowballs.
- Feb 24, 2013
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Bollocks.
- Feb 24, 2013
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Met this gorgeous lady today, who had the misfortune of being born with one leg longer than the other.....Her name was Eileen.
She then introduced me to her identical sister, who was born with the same malady....She was called Lena.
She then introduced me to her identical sister, who was born with the same malady....She was called Lena.
GreyCrow
Make me an Admin!
- Mar 21, 2016
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RedmanWasHere
Rarely in kitchens at parties.
- Aug 23, 2010
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What about their sister without legs?
Noelene.
Noelene.
and her Asian half sister who also has one leg
irene
irene
- Banned
- #5,570
and her half brother miner with a shovel in his head
Doug
Doug
TheStinger
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- Apr 23, 2009
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And their cousin who lives in a pile of leaves.
Russell.
Russell.
I don't think I could stomach getting into an exchange of puns with you.
- Banned
- #5,575
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around K-Mart when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too.... I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?'
To which the old guy says, Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too.... I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?'
To which the old guy says, Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."
