RedmanWasHere
Rarely in kitchens at parties.
- Aug 23, 2010
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Whenever it happens, when Rafa retires, will his fans be hit with a dose of Post Nadal Depression?
Lame Jokes Part 2
- Thread starter Hard Ball Get
- Start date
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- Banned
- #5,952
I'll never forget the look on the cashier's face, when she scanned in the packet of bird seed, and I asked how long does it take for the birds to grow once I plant them.
Not as bad as the nurses face, when I went to the maternity ward. I had my 3 month old with me and when she asked who I was there to visit, I said, "no one, I'm looking for the returns department"
philreich
Premium Platinum
- Mar 2, 2014
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The marriages of tennis players are usually unsuccessful, because love means nothing to them.
a lot of people think Rob is short for Robert, but it's actually short for 'Burglary'
- Apr 1, 2011
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What do you call a dads joke that isn’t funny?
A sentence.
A sentence.
- Apr 1, 2011
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I was shocked when I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof.
- Apr 1, 2011
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I now have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.
My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.
- Apr 1, 2011
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Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So when they dock they can Scandinavian.
So when they dock they can Scandinavian.
- Apr 1, 2011
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Struggling to think of what to buy someone for Valentines Day?
Get theme a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.
Get theme a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.
- Apr 1, 2011
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Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring.
The doctor says I'm ok ...... but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
The doctor says I'm ok ...... but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
RedmanWasHere
Rarely in kitchens at parties.
- Aug 23, 2010
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- Exers, Gryffindor, Rich+Ess AFLW, Tassie
- Apr 1, 2011
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Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
He had a reptile dysfunction.
- Apr 1, 2011
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I don't know why Marvel hasn’t tried to put advertisements on the Hulk.
He is essentially a giant banner.
He is essentially a giant banner.
RedmanWasHere
Rarely in kitchens at parties.
- Aug 23, 2010
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- 35,471
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- Essendon
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I don't know why Marvel hasn’t tried to put advertisements on the Hulk.
He is essentially a giant banner.
My favourite joke of yours so far
- Apr 1, 2011
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at our local school?
It's fine, he woke up.
It's fine, he woke up.
- Apr 1, 2011
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Do you think glass coffins will be a success?
Remains to be seen.
Remains to be seen.
RedmanWasHere
Rarely in kitchens at parties.
- Aug 23, 2010
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- Apr 1, 2011
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- Dec 17, 2006
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- South Fremantle, Sturt
A redneck goes into a pharmacy. "Ma'am, I want you to sell me a packet of them there tampons," he says loudly to the pharmacist, indicating the brand he wants to purchase.
The pharmacist rings up the sale on the register, to which the redneck exclaims excitedly, "I sure can't wait to use these tampons!"
The pharmacist looks surprised. "But surely they're for your wife, your girlfriend, your sister or your daughter?"
The redneck shakes his head. "Nuh, these here tampons are for me."
"For you?" The pharmacist is stunned. "If you don't mind my asking sir, why do you want to buy tampons for yourself?"
"Well, I was watching the TV the other night and there was a commercial. It said if you use these tampons you can go water skiing, you can go horseback riding, you can go abseiling, you can go kite surfing or you can go sky diving. And I wanna do all them things."
The pharmacist rings up the sale on the register, to which the redneck exclaims excitedly, "I sure can't wait to use these tampons!"
The pharmacist looks surprised. "But surely they're for your wife, your girlfriend, your sister or your daughter?"
The redneck shakes his head. "Nuh, these here tampons are for me."
"For you?" The pharmacist is stunned. "If you don't mind my asking sir, why do you want to buy tampons for yourself?"
"Well, I was watching the TV the other night and there was a commercial. It said if you use these tampons you can go water skiing, you can go horseback riding, you can go abseiling, you can go kite surfing or you can go sky diving. And I wanna do all them things."
RedmanWasHere
Rarely in kitchens at parties.
- Aug 23, 2010
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I could talk to John Cleese.
I could talk to Terry Wogan.
Hell, I could talk to Michael Palin.
I could talk to all of the Monty Python crew.
Except Eric.
I don't like Idle chatter.
I could talk to Terry Wogan.
Hell, I could talk to Michael Palin.
I could talk to all of the Monty Python crew.
Except Eric.
I don't like Idle chatter.
- Jul 31, 2012
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- Apr 1, 2011
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To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch.
- Apr 1, 2011
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I gave all my dead batteries away today…
Free of charge.
Free of charge.
