Lame Jokes Part 2

[Andrewy]

French is so passe

I agree but did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France.



Da brie is everywhere.

 

[emuboy]

What do you call a man who has 50 rabbits in his house?

Warren.

 

[Mofra]

What do you call a man who has 50 rabbits in his house?

Warren.

Stu

 

[Andrewy]

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age.



The next day she locked me in the cellar.

 

[RedmanWasHere]

What do you call an American singer who cancels his tours?

Postpone Malone.

 

[Andrewy]

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?


Roberto!

 

[Triggering Tiger]

What's black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white?

Two Collingwood supporters falling down some stairs.

 

[Andrewy]

My wife was sick of my lack of direction.
We always fought about it.
So I just packed up my bags and right.

 

[Andrewy]

What do you call a Frenchman in thongs?


Philippe Philoppe

 

[Andrewy]

Mountains aren't just funny.

They're hill areas.

 

[worbod]

I agree but did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France.



Da brie is everywhere.

My wife and I were going to call our daughter Brie but we decided it sounded too cheesy.

 

[worbod]

When my son was born a nurse came in to the ward to ask my wife and me what his name would be. We told the nurse we were going to call our son Bono. The nurse told us her son was also called Bono.
I replied, "You too!"

 

[Andrewy]

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?


Same middle name.

 

[Andrewy]

I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.



Good thymes.

 

[Wallaby]

I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.



Good thymes.

I want to gp back to when my herb garden was healthy and thriving.

I need a thyme machine.

 

[worbod]

My herb garden was dug up by rabbits last week. It was a bad hare day.

 

[Andrewy]

My herb garden was dug up by rabbits last week. It was a bad hare day.

Talking about rabbits...

How do you catch a unique rabbit?


Unique up on it.

 

[Andrewy]

What do you call a wizard who’s good with ceramics?



Harry Pottery.

 

[Andrewy]

When does a joke become a dad joke?


When it becomes apparent

 

[Andrewy]

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?


An irrelephant

 

[Andrewy]

5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions...

 

[Andrewy]

A termite walks into a bar and says, “Where is the bar tender?”

 

[Andrewy]

How can you tell when a comedian farts?



Something smells funny.

 

[ash_1050]

I lost 25% of my roof in the most recent storm.

Oof.

 

[Andrewy]

3 men are stranded in a boat with 4 cigarettes and no way to light them.

So they toss the 4th cigarette overboard, which makes the whole boat a cigarette lighter.