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AFLW 2024 - Round 10 - Chat, game threads, injury lists, team lineups and more.
Lame Jokes Part 2
- Thread starter Hard Ball Get
- Start date
- Tagged users None
Quadzilla
Brownlow Medallist
- May 21, 2005
- 17,792
- 14,021
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
- Other Teams
- Power, Magpies, Swamprats, Whales
If an ice addict dies, does he become a methylated spirit?
Creepy
roscreasl98
Norm Smith Medallist
- Banned
- #5,156
Quadzilla
Brownlow Medallist
- May 21, 2005
- 17,792
- 14,021
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
- Other Teams
- Power, Magpies, Swamprats, Whales
The founder of Ikea, Ingvar Kamprad has passed away.
Turn up early at the funeral next week, and follow the arrows around the Crematorium.
Turn up early at the funeral next week, and follow the arrows around the Crematorium.
roscreasl98
Norm Smith Medallist
- Banned
- #5,161
We don't have to help put together the coffin do we?
Bound to be 5-6 parts left over that do absolutely nothing.
Lesbians own Ikea now. Gone away with screws and allen keys.
Its all tounge in groove now....
Quadzilla
Brownlow Medallist
- May 21, 2005
- 17,792
- 14,021
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
- Other Teams
- Power, Magpies, Swamprats, Whales
The funeral will be delayed. The instructions have been lost and 2 screws were missing from the flat pack
- Oct 16, 2011
- 16,380
- 42,211
- AFL Club
- Adelaide
Firstly, I am really, really sorry for this one...
A man walks into a bar and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling...
Confused, he asks the bartender "Why do you have meat hanging from your ceiling?"
The bartender says "I'm glad you asked, currently we have a challenge going on where if you can jump up and slap both pieces of meat with your hands I'll cover your tab for the whole rest of the night. However, if you attempt to slap the meat and miss, you have to pay for everyone else's drinks in the bar until we close".
The bartender looks back at the customer and asks "So what do you say, would you like to give the challenge a shot?"
The customer quickly responds with a "No". "Why not?" The bartender asks. The customer replies, "The stakes are too high".
A man walks into a bar and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling...
Confused, he asks the bartender "Why do you have meat hanging from your ceiling?"
The bartender says "I'm glad you asked, currently we have a challenge going on where if you can jump up and slap both pieces of meat with your hands I'll cover your tab for the whole rest of the night. However, if you attempt to slap the meat and miss, you have to pay for everyone else's drinks in the bar until we close".
The bartender looks back at the customer and asks "So what do you say, would you like to give the challenge a shot?"
The customer quickly responds with a "No". "Why not?" The bartender asks. The customer replies, "The stakes are too high".
- Banned
- #5,167
A young bloke out on the Darling Downs was taking his fiancée for a drive out along the Warrego Highway in the direction of Roma.
When he picked her up he noticed she was wearing a very short skirt and just past Miles, he plucked up the courage to rest his hand on her knee.
Looking at him with a knowing smile, she cooed “You can go further if you want…”
So he drove on to Longreach…
When he picked her up he noticed she was wearing a very short skirt and just past Miles, he plucked up the courage to rest his hand on her knee.
Looking at him with a knowing smile, she cooed “You can go further if you want…”
So he drove on to Longreach…
BREAKING: Police are trying to rescue a cow lost in a cannabis field. The steaks have never been higher.
RedmanWasHere
Rarely in kitchens at parties.
- Aug 23, 2010
- 28,542
- 34,070
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- Essendon
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- Exers, Gryffindor, Rich+Ess AFLW, Tassie
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
What a handy inconvenience.
What a handy inconvenience.
GreyCrow
Make me an Admin!
- Mar 21, 2016
- 81,603
- 133,501
- AFL Club
- Adelaide
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- Sturt, White Sox
I have a Polish friend who is a roadie for a band. I have a Czech one too. A Czech one too. Czech one too
- Banned
- #5,172
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, "Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?"
"We can't chew them because we have no teeth," she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"
The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, "Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?"
"We can't chew them because we have no teeth," she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"
The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."
Just been sacked from my job at the crisis helpline. Not sure why - I followed the protocols exactly.
Got a call - 'I'm lying on the train tracks, waiting for the train to come'.
I said 'Keep calm - just stay on the line'.
Got a call - 'I'm lying on the train tracks, waiting for the train to come'.
I said 'Keep calm - just stay on the line'.
RedmanWasHere
Rarely in kitchens at parties.
- Aug 23, 2010
- 28,542
- 34,070
- AFL Club
- Essendon
- Other Teams
- Exers, Gryffindor, Rich+Ess AFLW, Tassie
Not a joke and the photo's shared a million times over but we've all been there many times.
GreyCrow
Make me an Admin!
- Mar 21, 2016
- 81,603
- 133,501
- AFL Club
- Adelaide
- Other Teams
- Sturt, White Sox
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands
I love this joke because it never grows old
I love this joke because it never grows old
