Family & Relationships Need advice - Help - Violent drunk neighbour - Death threats

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Light_Soda

Debutant
Nov 22, 2008
132
145
Neon City
AFL Club
Sydney
I didn't know where to ask this, but I urgently need advice.

While working on his car with his friend, my brother (18) was assaulted by an alcoholic neighbour (22) yesterday, and although my brother was able to get away from the fight with minor cuts and bruises, I was later approached by the same neighbour (I'm 20) due to the fact that I stepped in to end the fight between him and my brother. I was unable to get me and my mum to safety, so instead of having my back to him approaching, I chose to defend myself. The whole time, I was trying to protect my mother and me, I didn't know what to do, I didn't know whether to give up all sense of reasoning and just risk my life, or to keep walking backwards and keeping my mum close.

This neighbour has nothing to lose, his whole life is in shambles and doesn't really care whether he lives or dies. He is known to the police by name and constantly charged, but the police have said they couldn't do anything because his mum keeps letting him come back at home. When intoxicated, he's aggressively violent to the point that he thinks he's in the UFC and wants to kill everyone. It's distressing and so hard to live like this. He has made threats of killing us. He has a history of schizophrenia from drug abuse and mental issues.

The fight began due to the fact that my brother did not want to talk to the drunk neighbour, he repeatedly told him not to speak to him and leave him and his friend alone (he was assaulted by the same neighbour before). But of course, when someone is so aggressive and an alcoholic, they don't take no for an answer - and as such, he became physically violent. My brother, I and my mum just want this person to leave us alone entirely.

The police instructed us to obtain a restraining order at the magistrate, but upon reading about the restraining order process online (I'm not sure if it was outdated or not), I have read that you need a substantual amount of evidence in court (which is concerning because we don't have physical evidence, only people's accounts and a past history) - and I have also read that the actual order isn't in process unless the 'defendant' is given the order - and that we're advised that we don't go home for about 2 days or so? We can't do that. I would appreciate it greatly if there was some way that we could do something legally to stop this neighbour from harrassing us - and I'm afraid that he might do something crazy like kill us. We care about ourselves and our lives and we value our health, but he has no morals nor does he seem to care about his life, none of us want to risk injury or loss of a proper life over this person.

When I read about the intervention order process, it seems to me that it leaves a lot of possible ways for us to still be harassed by this person. It seems to be a civil thing, rather than a criminal thing that the police will assist you with. It's mentally dawning because I'm not a legal person, I have no idea what to do or where to begin and we are not rich. I'm afraid that if he knows about the restraining order, he might be violent before it comes into affect. I am also afraid that if the restraining order is not processed for whatever reason (whether or not he chose to defend himself in court), the failure of such an intervention order would leave the possibility open for another assault. I simply cannot allow such a risk anymore, I need something concrete done now. The stress that my mum is going through because of this has made me so stressed as well.

So I literally beg, any of you with legal knowledge, or any past experience with such people, to give me some advice or guidance on what to do next. If a restraining order is the right and only cause of action, please explain the process to me - is it realistic? Effective for how long? Is the person simply charged if they breach such an order or can they be arrested? And for how long? I need to do something to prevent the same incident from happening again. I don't see the practicality in calling the police if they're unable to do anything. I'm too afraid to even leave my mum or my brother in the house - I can't live like this. I could barely even fall sleep last night due to the fear that the neighbour may have decided to do something whilst we're asleep.

Thankfully, he hasn't, but I need to do something now before it is too late. Any advice will be appreciated so much. Thank you so much in advance..
 
Surely making death threats means the police have to arrest him ?

Does he come on to your property?

I had a similar situation although the psycho neighbour was 70 which meant the police wouldnt do anything no matter what cuz "hes an old man" :rolleyes: despite the fact he was just as fit and healthy and dangerous as anyone else. So i know how utterly useless the police are at times
 

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In my mind I feel like it can be easy. Take the 0 tolerance approach, that is every legal violation needs to be treated as such.

Threatening your safety is a crime.
Physical intimidation and obviously striking and handling you is assault.
Stepping on your property after being ordered not to is trespass.

Film the incidents when they are in progress, you have every right to point a camera at a person and film when you are standing on your property, even off it. They have no right to interrupt you from doing that, again, to do so would be breaking the law.

You are allowed to use reasonable force to defend yourself and your family, and even your property (though much less). Let the police know you will be doing so though you'd rather not, that you'd rather they did their job to prevent the situation coming to that.

Make the police do their job. Remind them what their job is if you have to.

Did you know the police will pursue males accused of violence against women EVEN WHEN the female 'victim' denies the offence took place? Don't be so quick to buy that "we can't do anything" excuse. Lazy feckers. Imagine if the police officer was you, you think they couldn't do anything then?

Imagine if a prominent AFL player had lightly slapped a girl, you think he wouldn't be charged with assault? From the sounds you've seen much worse.

Communications in writing are preferred as they leave an audit trail that is useful later.

Try a community legal service and let them know you fear for your safety.
 
I didn't know where to ask this, but I urgently need advice.

- An intervention order is easy to obtain. Don't read to much into the legal jargon. Anybody can get one for a variety of reasons. An intervention order isn't a criminal charge. It is an order of protection from a Magistrate. You do not need to PROVE your allegation. You just need to demonstrate a need for protection. The grounds you have set out above would ensure an order is granted.

- A breach of an intervention order is taken seriously by both police and the courts.

- On the other hand, a piece of paper will not protect you from an assault or further problems. It may scare him off. It may enrage him and make it worse.

- If he is as you describe, I am guessing he lives in commission housing? Have you tried contacting and lodging a complaint with the department of housing?

- Do you own or rent? If you rent maybe you should consider moving else where. I understand the philosophy or "why should I have to move". But it is the lessor of two evils - better than staying and putting up with him.
 
You are allowed to use reasonable force to defend yourself and your family, and even your property (though much less). Let the police know you will be doing so though you'd rather not, that you'd rather they did their job to prevent the situation coming to that.

Quoted for importance.

By all means persue the legal options you have, but don't let them be your only line of defence.

Realise that outside of sport there is no such thing as a 'fair' fight so until such time as the police become effective, I would suggest (legally) arming yourself as much as you feel necessary.
 
Generally speaking, a person who is intoxicated a lot doesn't have the best of reflexes. Teach yourself some basic self-defence moves, should be plenty of stuff online.

Ignore the drunk ****'s bluster but if he comes onto your property put those moves into practice. It could escalate the situation but mate, who among us here hasn't had fist fights in our late teens, early 20s? I had plenty in this period of my life, against older blokes, too, and more than held my own.

While I don't condone unjustified violence, I also don't condone the developing softness among some young men.

Hope something here helps.
 
Unless he's got some kind of mafia affiliations, and he's just some drunken twat, then beating the shit out of him once will get your message through loud and clear.
 
Firstly go back to the police and tell them you definatly want them to charge this bloke with assulting your brother and yourself. If the cop you speak with says they cant do anything, ask to speak to someone who out ranks them. Make them do their job to protect you.

Assualt is a serious offence and the courts dont take it too lightly.

Also definatly learn some basics of how to defend yourself. You dont have to put up with his shit and if he comes at you on your property your more than entitled to use "reasonable force" to defend yourself... if beating the living daylights out of him is the only "reasonable" way to stop him from further assulting you or your family then so be it.

Some people just loving fighting though and if you kick the piss out of him this might just make him want to come back for round 2. Difficult situation and I feel for you mate. But you definatly dont have to put up with this where you live.
 
If you break his nose he'll leave you alone. If you do it when he comes at you or your family, you can claim self defense.

Spot on.
If you break his nose he will be reluctant to try anything else and the fight will be over quickly.
As an aside, I'm sure if you drop this pricks name and number on BF, any number of people may want to foolishly do something to him:confused:
 
G[strike]e[/strike]ot a few steps here if pursuing legal action is not for you:
1) Get to the gym and workout
2) Get a few friends from gym
3) Get them to come over and threaten him, with you beside them
4) Get a baseball bat and keep it right near/under bed for emergency situations
5) Get well
 

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Do you own or rent? If you rent maybe you should consider moving else where. I understand the philosophy or "why should I have to move". But it is the lessor of two evils - better than staying and putting up with him.

If your renting I agree that getting the hell out of there is the best option.

I doubt any form of intimidation will work if he is a drop kick alcoholic.

You should contact Today Tonight and/or A Current Affair. They lap this kind of thing up. Having the medias attention will greatly help in getting the attention of the Police.
 
Remember: Cops don't care about this kind of thing, because it's "work" for them.

Police are usually fairly inept individuals, who rather than head something like this off early, would prefer your mentally ill neighbour to go on a rampage, and ultimately get shot by police.

The police do not equal the law. They are just security guards and most of them don't understand the law at all.

Don't take no for an answer from the pigs, get the reports filed and statements made because when this goes to court - and it will - those reports are going to form the basis of your evidence against this neighbour. You'll be able to demonstrate a history of behaviour that will be very hard to defend as a 'once off brain snap' like most assaults.

The main thing in assault is that there is an apprehension of physical harm. If he makes threats to assault you, and you believe it (the belief is the key thing) to be true - that's assault. Considering he's already done it repeatedly, you need only get evidence of him making the threat again.

And likewise, if he goes after your mum I highly doubt any court is going to convict you for beating the shit out of him.
 
Call channel 9 and get on a current affair, they play this stuff once a week.
and you will also be on today tonight aswell at the exact same time.
 
I'm sure you'll be resting easy when you have one of them sticking out of your chest :rolleyes:

Actually my Expendables bowie knife just arrived, that thing would go through my entire chest no worries and the other bloke wouldn't even get their hands dirty :thumbsu:

Seriously though, if someone is giving you trouble and you reckon they are serious, waving anything considered a weapon in front of somebody will either a) Back away, probably while continuing to shout and rant and threaten, or b) Move to attack.

No drunken idiot is gonna wait for you to make the first move when you already have the upper hand.
 

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Family & Relationships Need advice - Help - Violent drunk neighbour - Death threats

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