Media Noobz0r For You

[pantskyle]

Good thread from you.

 

[Noobz0r]

Good thread from you.

I can retire happy.

 

[pantskyle]

I can retire happy.

Always go to bed with a smile on your dial.

 

[Noobz0r]

Always go to bed with a smile on your dial.

How could I not when I sleep in a racing car?

 

[pantskyle]

How could I not when I sleep in a racing car?

Noobz I think you're cool.

 

[Noobz0r]

Noobz I think you're cool.

pants, that was mean.

 

[Senor M]

Calls me out for posturing then tries to say I apologised via PM lmao

Has PULLTHRU melted his way out of a PM with you too?

 

[The Half Back]

The Half Back you obviously are more talented than I thought.

Two compliments in the one day from you! I'm doing something right.

 

[VainGlorious]

Had my first pre-season training back last night, and the 2 blokes running behind me during the fitness section said that I had the best arse at the club.

Next.

Running around the exercise yard at Acacia Prison isn’t classified as a pre-season, Noobz.

 

[GremioPower]

Love them or hate them, the Baghdad Bombers are the team with the biggest reputation in the league. Unfortunately, this is typically viewed from the outside as negative, yet as a major positive internally.

There are certain aspects of their posting style that are unequivocally gross: the persistent positioning of themselves as victims, proclaiming that everything is rigged against them, and the immediate cries of opposition being rattled or emotional as soon as they're faced with a calm, reasoned post of more than 2 sentences. And, it seems, every poster with potential that heads to Baghdad is quickly swept up into this groupthink.

Many outside voices cry for some for a change in attitude and culture, and it leaves the Bombers baffled as to why people can't just appreciate their genius and strong culture.

They need help, and I have a solution.

View attachment 1028631

Instead of shifting their culture, the Bombers need to steer into the skid and further the posting style.

Whilst he has been a good servant of the club, it's time to move Santoz on. He tends to get too bogged down in long-winded arguments, and doesn't accuse enough opponents of being rattled or emotional. Meanwhile, BLUEALLTHRU is the perfect poster and captain to further the Bombers. He lacks depth, he accuses posters of all sorts of nonsense, and best of all he has no idea what he is doing. He's pretty much a more complete version of Metalcrusher.

We will return to this segment later to see the results.

You have just set the bar very high, Noobz0r!

 

[miggs]

Had my first pre-season training back last night, and the 2 blokes running behind me during the fitness section said that I had the best arse at the club.

Next.

The “2 blokes running behind me” were actually the angry fathers of the kids you were leering all over at the park.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

@NoobzOr may not be in the top 100 posters in the joint, but his role as bung hole and food taster should be remembered. No. Not revered. His is a cautionary tale for other dumb folk who venture into the Sweet FA.

 

[Noobz0r]

@NoobzOr may not be in the top 100 posters in the joint, but his role as bung hole and food taster should be remembered. No. Not revered. His is a cautionary tale for other dumb folk who venture into the Sweet FA.

I was top 30 in the beez you lunatic.

 

[NaturalDisaster]

@NoobzOr may not be in the top 100 posters in the joint, but his role as bung hole and food taster should be remembered. No. Not revered. His is a cautionary tale for other dumb folk who venture into the Sweet FA.

Thats harsh, he is at least the 99th best poster

 

[Noobz0r]

spookism is the recipient of a lot of seemingly good natured ribbing, however like with any good joke there is an element of truth to it. From his crying "meme" after having his heart broken by a Swamprats co-captain, to being rated a 3/5 in poster quality analysis, to a distinct lack of personal accolades, poor spook really does struggle to make a splash in the SFA. In fact, whilst researching this episode I stumbled across a post insulting The Filth Wizard which called him a "rich man's spookism". I have decided that I need to dedicate myself to improving spookism's standing in the league, and lead him to a top 5 finish in the Season 31 beez.

And I have a plan on just how to do this.



I was excited to get started, and I couldn't wait to tell spook about my plan.

Hi spookism,

I understand that you're a bit of a joke around the SFA. I have a plan to help you improve your reputation, get some media attention and culminate in a top 5 beez finish.

I'm going to get you have sex with a league legend and record it. Then we're going to leak it and get you that attention and interest from the league.

That's the worst idea I have ever heard, are you sure we can't try something else?

Having received spookism's blessing I moved onto the next stage of my plan. I could just feel his excitement though, and needed to make sure I picked the perfect candidate for the other half of the sextape.

When you hear the title league legend, you can't go past The Filth Wizard. The man has literally done it all: Hall of Famer, multiple beez awards, a record number of All-SFA, Fred Medallist, premiership captain at two different clubs, and former SFA administrator. If this plan was going to work, I had to hitch the spookism wagon to the Filth star. And I was sure he would have no issue helping his teammate out.

Hello The Filth Wizard,

I am currently helping spookism improve his standing and reputation in the league. Could you please make a sextape with him that I will then leak so he becomes popular?

Uh, I'm not sure about this...

Well, why not?

Well, I'm married... heterosexual... and not really into unsuccessful bald guys

What if I paid you?

It would have to be a lot of money.

I can give you $100

That's not enough

I don't know why you're being so difficult here

Look, I don't want a sextape of me in public and even if I did, spookism would be last on my list of people to make one with.

Okay well what making one with me?

After deciding that I didn't want to make a sextape with Filthy despite him asking me to, I had to return to spookism to break the news. This was going to be a difficult conversation, I pride myself on improving posters and I had failed this time. But I had to wear this one.

Hi spookism, I'm afraid that I haven't been able to find a league legend to make a sextape with you.

That's okay, I didn't even want to do it in the first place.

I know that this is hard for you, because you really needed this. But it's because you're an unattractive man.

I don't see how that's relevant

So because I've helped you, are you going to give me 20 beez votes next season?

I don't see why I'd do that seeing as you've done the opposite of helping me.

Well, I mean I had a great idea and it's not my fault that no one wanted to make a sextape with you.

You're not getting beez votes

Please?

Okay fine, you can have beez votes if you leave me alone.

Whilst it didn't go to plan, I could tell that spookism still appreciated me trying and even suggested that he gives me beez votes anyway. I think that despite not actually making a sextape, the experience should give him the confidence he needs to make a top 5 push anyway. I can't wait to see what the future holds for him.

Ab so lutely.

 

[The Half Back]

I'm going to get you have sex with a league and record it.

Holy shit spookism, you ****!

 

[Noobz0r]

Dammit.

 

[The Filth Wizard]

Ab so lutely.

Fun fact, the "absolutely" guy is Tim Heidecker's dad.

I'm also sad you couldn't work with my real answer...

Ok, sex tape this time, then a snuff film next time.

 

[Noobz0r]

Fun fact, the "absolutely" guy is Tim Heidecker's dad.

I'm also sad you couldn't work with my real answer...

I picked you because I thought you'd know to be really uncomfortable. You big ruiner you.

I was chatting about who that was with my housemates just last night!

 

[brahj]

Fun fact, the "absolutely" guy is Tim Heidecker's dad.

I'm also sad you couldn't work with my real answer...

Not as funny though.

Noobz0r saving your best media for the off-season is how #scandal came to be. I'll see you in the "Certified Legendary Thread" authors cigar room soon.

 

[spookism]

 

[Smartys Power]

I’ll have sex with you spookism.

 

[Smartys Power]

I’ll have sex with you spookism.

Did I just say that out loud?

 

[pantskyle]

Spookism is not ugly, very handsome man.

 

[PMBangers]

Spookism is not ugly, very handsome man.

Then why was he so worried to have sex on tape?