I can relate with the kids, no kids topic.
my partner and l wanted to have kids but never has happened after going though IVF multiple times though 2016,2017.
About 6-8 months ago we had a talk a kinda cross road kinda stuff she was saying things is this all life has to offer now no childern not much to look forward to.
I wanted her to be happy and offered to leave so she could maybe try a baby with someone else and she thought l didn't care about no children and the lost of the bady at 16 weeks as not affected me has much as her.
It has affected me now l dont know why now .l didn't grieve much about the loss and l kept working and saying busy.
Something set me off a few weeks back and seeing her so happy now, the happiest she been in years .She has a new range of friends and l felt like she might be moving on and leaving me behide, l felt she might even leave.
We have spoken and everything is ok between us.
Sorry if this is hard to read my spelling and grammar is Shithouse at times.
Sorry to hear about your loss but it sounds like she is happy now. It doesn’t necessarily mean she’s left you behind.
I did something similar to you when we lost a baby 6 years ago. It took until this year for it to bubble up. We planted a tree together in her memory. And we just reflected and spoke about it.
It’s easier said than done, but just talk. Talk about your loss, talk about your fear that she is leaving you behind etc. Often things are much worse in your head than in reality.