McGowan3
Debutant
Hang in the ring. Been through some difficult times but things have always turned around even if your mind is telling you otherwise.Sorry for a bit of absence there in the last bit.
Actually had a member of the forum reach out and ask if I was ok todayso thought I would type something here (plus psych is also trying to get me to be a bit more open with my feelings).
Likely getting diagnosed with either Major Depression or Bi-Polar type one in the upcoming week or two.
They have put me on happy pills for the moment at least which is something
Honestly, it falls back to the fencing stuff and basically over pushing with trying to qualify for the Olympics, then the failure out of it. (I wasn't truly happy with my results, got a bad referee in another competition and have been a combination of disappointed, ashamed and angry at myself over it (at one point I was training over 20 hours a week, so should have done better).
Won't lie, have been feeling really ashamed and disgusted about feeling this way, I should be happy as I do have most things anyone would kill for (two successful careers, fit, loving wife, ugly cat, own my own house (I saved for it no inheritance), represented my country in an Olympic sport.
But honestly really struggling and kind of nearly did something stupid during the week.
Just thought I would give you all the heads up.
(I don't usually ask for help or anything, I tend to keep things to myself, but psych thinks typing these things is a good idea).
