RIP Cam McCarthy

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Hi all, just a reminder that should today's news be triggering for you then there are resources and people out there which I cannot recommend enough:

Lifeline - 13 11 14
Beyond Blue - 1300 224 636
MensLine Australia - 1300 789 978
Headspace - 1800 650 890

Otherwise feel free to reach out to one of us, or each other.

:purpleheart:
 
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FreoGirl said:
from my experience, mental health doesn't have a class or a postcode
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totally agree. it can happen to anyone , from al lwalks of life. but in certain postcodes it is hidden and covered up completly.

in some wlak of life mentla health affected are jsut called a phase they going thru.

Tak care folks of hte ones you love . Never assume all is well.
 
FreoGirl said:
from my experience, mental health doesn't have a class or a postcode
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Which is the sort of reaction this sort of comment usually gets.

It's a lost generation and demographic.

The private school Claremont lads get the money and opportunity; the minority kids get clear avenues for jobs (and that's no real issue at all, but great cushy jobs do literally just exist to enhance minorities in the workforce).

This is why the average white bloke shuts the **** up and ends up doing something stupid. because he's told his struggles aren't valid.

Then he goes to his shithouse job he ****ing hates, to go home to live with four ****heads who don't let him sleep, to deal with tinder and dating apps... it's pretty hard for that guy to go 'yep fair call, bloke on 200k who works from home twice a week is the same as me!'
 
errant bounce said:
Which is the sort of reaction this sort of comment usually gets.

It's a lost generation and demographic.

The private school Claremont lads get the money and opportunity; the minority kids get clear avenues for jobs (and that's no real issue at all, but great cushy jobs do literally just exist to enhance minorities in the workforce).

This is why the average white bloke shuts the **** up and ends up doing something stupid. because he's told his struggles aren't valid.

Then he goes to his shithouse job he ****ing hates, to go home to live with four ****heads who don't let him sleep, to deal with tinder and dating apps... it's pretty hard for that guy to go 'yep fair call, bloke on 200k who works from home twice a week is the same as me!'
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Agree with you on a few points re some of the blokes I know are actually on 200k a year and work from home full time, and somehow don't miss school pick-up, an afternoon nap, boozy corporate lunches and oodles of 'me time'. There really are some people doing life fairly easy, granted they worked hard early on though.

I don't think class can be completely attributed to poor mental health though, it can just make things tougher. I've worked in and around mental health in the past and a lot of people we lost had almost no support circles - that's the hardest part. Living a full adult life with nought but one or two acquaintances, with no other reason than misfortune and rotten luck.

I reckon Cam would've had a large support network both pre and post-footy, which indicates to me his mental health was chronic with deep underlying biological/biochemical divergences. But I'm no expert.
 

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StingBitten said:
Agree with you on a few points re some of the blokes I know are actually on 200k a year and work from home full time, and somehow don't miss school pick-up, an afternoon nap, boozy corporate lunches and oodles of 'me time'. There really are some people doing life fairly easy, granted they worked hard early on though.

I don't think class can be completely attributed to poor mental health though, it can just make things tougher. I've worked in and around mental health in the past and a lot of people we lost had almost no support circles - that's the hardest part. Living a full adult life with nought but one or two acquaintances, with no other reason than misfortune and rotten luck.

I reckon Cam would've had a large support network both pre and post-footy, which indicates to me his mental health was chronic with deep underlying biological/biochemical divergences. But I'm no expert.
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Most people who seriously struggle do lack those support networks and have their backs against the wall.

Successful people absolutely can struggle. I'm not discounting that.

But it's pretty obvious, anecdotally and statistically, that it targets those who are vulnerable, down and out, in lower socioeconomics, grew up in shit situations, have had significant trauma.

I think it's extremely disrespectful to say to someone 'it affects all of us!' as I said, imagine hearing that when you're barely able to pay rent, life's ticking by with nothing to show for it, you can't even turn on the ****ing heating... but jeez some bloke my age whose dad has a consultancy gets a bit blue too! I should just shut up!' the funny thing about those blokes is they don't really whinge, but you can put two and two together when they're getting done by train inspectors every couple of months and their weekends consist of stuff like 'just went and kicked the footy' or 'shot some hoops with my mate.' aka they are totally ****ing skint. fellas who have six of the chicken sandwiches put on by work on the odd Wednesday because their dinners at home are cereal or bread.

I have worked with men who don't speak to their family, have never really known or liked their old man, have never been able to afford a trip outside of the country, and are looking down the barrel of 30 and have about 90 bucks to their name on a good pay week – while getting up at 4am to get home at 7pm to live with people they ****ing despise. I think they're going to feel a bit more prone to Doing Something Stupid than Toby from Christ Church.

It's why this whole r u ok day shit is a crock. it makes everything as bad as the next thing and in the end muddies the water and alienates people.
 
errant bounce said:
Most people who seriously struggle do lack those support networks and have their backs against the wall.

Successful people absolutely can struggle. I'm not discounting that.

But it's pretty obvious, anecdotally and statistically, that it targets those who are vulnerable, down and out, in lower socioeconomics, grew up in shit situations, have had significant trauma.

I think it's extremely disrespectful to say to someone 'it affects all of us!' as I said, imagine hearing that when you're barely able to pay rent, life's ticking by with nothing to show for it, you can't even turn on the ****ing heating... but jeez some bloke my age whose dad has a consultancy gets a bit blue too! I should just shut up!' the funny thing about those blokes is they don't really whinge, but you can put two and two together when they're getting done by train inspectors every couple of months and their weekends consist of stuff like 'just went and kicked the footy' or 'shot some hoops with my mate.' aka they are totally ****ing skint. fellas who have six of the chicken sandwiches put on by work on the odd Wednesday because their dinners at home are cereal or bread.

I have worked with men who don't speak to their family, have never really known or liked their old man, have never been able to afford a trip outside of the country, and are looking down the barrel of 30 and have about 90 bucks to their name on a good pay week – while getting up at 4am to get home at 7pm to live with people they ****ing despise. I think they're going to feel a bit more prone to Doing Something Stupid than Toby from Christ Church.

It's why this whole r u ok day shit is a crock. it makes everything as bad as the next thing and in the end muddies the water and alienates people.
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There's some interesting points here, and it appears that society hasn't changed much towards their views of men - ie they are the providers/breadwinners, their identity is intrinsically linked to their careers - should either of these be found lacking they can be cast off as losers/simps quite quickly. I had a friend recently hospitalised for suicidal ideation because his building company collapsed (as many are) and his partner wasn't exactly as understanding as he'd hoped. That's not even a 'failed' career that's just falling victim to inflation and even that can ignite mental collapse if you don't have people supporting you.

Cam may have sat across this somewhat, ie. he may have felt he didn't live to his career potential, wanting to become a hero in the club he loved from his birth. I think back to that time last year he was caught for being 8 times the legal limit.. I thought tat the time that's not risky behaviour for the sake of a bit of fun, that's a total disregard for his wellbeing and sense of self. There may have been many other factors and it's not fair of me to speculate.

Anyway I'm mindful this is a public forum and I shouldn't speculate too deeply on this stuff here.
 
Different things affect different people in different ways . Not being able to pay bills or eat properly can drive some to the wall .

I grew up in that situation , never enough money for mum to pay bills , struggled to keep food on table . But we all survived .

I know of others who had money but no lasting relationships so they chose the sad way out .

Sone can handle being alone . Some can handle being broke

Sone can’t handle other things , which is why darkness can consume anyone . Even those with living families can feel dark and lost when their dreams are crushed

That is why we say it is not demograhics but it can happen to anyone . Our brains are all wired differently

Sadly sometime the strong just say to the weak “ harden up princess, it ain’t that bad”

Love those around you . Talk to them and share . Doesn’t mean they will survive the darkness but it may help so please everyone just reach out
 
I loved that game and his performance was sublime.

That was the game that I was referring to when I told him he was on fire and sensational to watch .

Hope Alex and his boys are doing ok this morning.
 
Perfect Purple said:
I loved that game and his performance was sublime.

That was the game that I was referring to when I told him he was on fire and sensational to watch .

Hope Alex and his boys are doing ok this morning.
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I remember the narrative going into that game too, Hogan had turned up to training hungover and was basically taken out of the side as punishment, people were a little weary about McCarthy coming in because his form over his 2 years with us at that point was very inconsistent, but I remember walking into that game going "McCarthy's going to kick a bag, watch it"

I was right.
 

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Former Fremantle player Cameron McCarthy has been remembered as a “warm and engaging” man who “walked to the beat of his own drum” during a moving service in Perth’s south on Wednesday morning.

And McCarthy’s family has described the heartbreaking moment they received the life-changing phone call informing them of his death, aged 29, during a camping holiday.

West Coast star and close friend Tom Barrass was a pallbearer and Dockers captain Alex Pearce walked behind the hearse as current and former teammates and football figures joined the more than 100 mourners to pay their respects at Fremantle Cemetery.


McCarthy’s father Graham read a touching eulogy and told how he was on holiday in Coral Bay when they received the call no parent wants to receive.

Former Fremantle Docker [PLAYERCARD]Cameron McCarthy[/PLAYERCARD] funeral at Fremantle Cemetary, West Chapel. Unknown
Former Fremantle Docker Cameron McCarthy funeral at Fremantle Cemetary, West Chapel. Unknown Credit: Unknown/Supplied

“We got the phone call about 5.30pm that night (Thursday, May 8) and had had a couple of ales that afternoon,” he told the gathering.

“We couldn’t believe it. His Mum and I were just in shock.
“The next day, the 14-hour drive towing the caravan, just gave us time to think. We talked, cried, cried a bit more.
“We got home to our beautiful daughters … it was just good to wrap our arms around our daughters and get through what happened.
“We loved him to death, he left a mark on everything he did.”
McCarthy was also described as a “gentle, at times troubled, soul” who struggled to open up about his own battles.

The hearse arrives at Fremantle Cemetery.
The hearse arrives at Fremantle Cemetery. Credit: Unknown/Supplied

Mr McCarthy said the AFL Players Assocation kept in close contact with his son after his playing career ended in 2021 and urged former players to use the association’s services more regularly.

He also thanked the clubs and players that paid tribute to his son in the hours and days after his passing.
Both the Dockers and Giants held moments of silence before their matches in round nine.
“I’d like to acknowledge GWS, the Dockers, Essendon and Sydney for the games that were played in the weekend of the passing of Cam,” Mr McCarthy said.

“To the Eagles players that also wore their armbands with the support staff and to the rest of the players around the country ... (I) watched a lot of football that weekend and it was pretty touching.”

A picture used in Cam McCarthy’s funeral service.
A picture used in Cam McCarthy’s funeral service. Credit: Unknown/Supplied

Mr McCarthy described the night his son met Barrass at State under-18’s training and told his father about a “nice bloke” from Claremont.
“They just formed this bond that is still going strong to this day,” he said.
“We’re forever grateful, mate, he loved you to death.”

Family said McCarthy “ran before he walked” and was a sports-obsessed child and “had to be outdoors and active”.
McCarthy played cricket for Fremantle as a junior and colts for South Fremantle. He briefly took on a plumbing apprenticeship before being drafted and moving to Sydney.

His father said being drafted “wasn’t a dream” for the young forward because he didn’t see it as a realistic career and the family felt their son was “plucked out of nowhere” by the Giants.

His sisters Hannah and Jessica also both gave eulogies, describing the bubbly personality that also resonated through his three football clubs.

Mourners at the Perth service.
Mourners at the Perth service. Credit: Unknown/Supplied

“Our one-of-a-kind, charismatic and larger-than-life brother, every room Cam walked into he graced with his infectious smile and bubbly personality, and I have no doubt everyone here can vouch for that,” Hannah said.
“Cam, Jess and myself were the best of friends and, lucky enough, we did everything together late in life.
“In Cam’s spare time, he loved hanging around us and his best mates for an ice-cold beer and as he would describe it ‘having fat chats’.”

The sisters told how McCarthy had “the confidence to take on the world” and shared stories of him singing and dancing “like his life depended on it”.
“He was an athlete, a singer, a dancer, sometimes a rapper — an all-round performer really.
“But most of all he was the light in any room and the world is a whole lot darker and our hearts a whole lot more heavier without him.”
​

PERTH, AUSTRALIA - AUGUST 17: Cam McCarthy of the Dockers lines up a kick on goal during the 2019 AFL round 22 match between the Fremantle Dockers and the Essendon Bombers at Optus Stadium on August 17, 2019 in Perth, Australia. (Photo by Will Russell/AFL Photos)

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Cam McCarthy in action for the Fremantle Dockers. Credit: Will Russell/AFL Photos

In her own tearful tribute, Jessica added: “We will never stop loving you and will try our best to make you proud”.
“Rest easy our beautiful big brother. Forever 29. Forever young.”

Former teammates Nathan Wilson, Griffin Logue, Brandon Matera, Stefan Giro, Travis Colyer and Aaron Sandilands were among the mourners, alongside current Fremantle players Michael Walters, Luke Ryan, Sean Darcy, Matt Taberner and James Aish, while Eagles defender Jeremy McGovern also attended the service.
Coach Justin Longmuir and chief executive Simon Garlick, South Fremantle coach Todd Curley, McCarthy’s former manager Colin Young and AFL Player’s Association representative Danny Southern also paid their respects.​
 
I was randomly on YouTube the other day, just wondering what (if anything) to watch and this was a (surprise) suggested vid, generally I don't watch a lot of footy-related podcast type stuff so it was odd it was lodged in a bunch of other random stuff and I hadn't really watched any Cam related stuff in recent weeks - it made me feel that achy sadness of his loss all over again. He just seems like such a good guy; happy-go-lucky high energy person. Devastating to think someone so well liked and decent can slide and lose their way so easily. RIP big guy. Posting here for anyone who wants that bit of "sunshine' back in their life:

 

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RIP Cam McCarthy

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