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Round 24 is almost upon us and is thankfully the last time we’ll see Essington run out this year believe me, this will be an Essington game through and through. The conclusion to another piss-weak wasted season with a shitty middle-of-the-table finish.
Once again we watch teams who were shit a couple of years ago fly past us while we wilt away, afraid to lose.. But far too shit to win anything that matters.
It’s a mercy this game is away, as it spares us the embarrassment of record-low crowds, cause who the **** can still be invested?
North has had a more positive season than us.. And that’s not hyperbole. Essendon are so scared of losing, that they go into games not to win, but to avoid losing. It’s why we have no true killer instinct, and it’s why give up so easily, like we did against Sydney last night and like we did against St Kilda, and Port. It’s why only beat West Coast when they were pathetic by 5 points. It’s like we think there is some great honour in avoiding the bottom 4 each season.
We had so few truly dominant moments in the season, but I know that next year will be almost identical to this. Nothing will change and we’ll be looking for another new coach in 2025, because Brad will try and blow up the list and the board won’t let him and will try and convince us that the list is actually good. I believe we have a bottom 4 list currently; and I believe it would have been in our best interest to be a bottom 4 team this year.
When we were winning early, I was hoping like hell I was wrong about this team; I wasn’t; we’re ****ed for a long time still. Glad we’re paying millions to a player who can’t handball though.
The Round Before The Round That Was
Actually, good result - Weid is no good, stringer is no good, Merret/Shiel/Parish just doesn't ****en work, and Langford can’t play a full-season forward effectively.. Langford can’t play a full season effectively if we are being really honest here. Redman is a ****en moron, our defenders can’t defend (Statistically 3 of the worst 1-on-1 defenders including McFumbles) getting average players from shit teams is a great plan for success. Ridley is injured, reid injured, cox injured, and McGrath is a below-average footballer who is absolutely useless at generating forward attacks.. Best give him kick in duties.
Oh well, I’m sure they will also be back next season, apart from more second rate players from other cellar dwellers.
Oh, apparently the players are all upset Heppell didn’t get a farewell game; don’t worry, we fans are more upset that many of the players out there on Friday also didn’t get a farewell game.
ESSENDON 3.1 4.5 5.10 8.11 (59)
SYDNEY 2.2 3.4 9.7 15.8 (98)
GOALS
Essendon: Martin 3, Draper, Stringer, Jones, Caldwell, Langford
Sydney: Parker 3, Heeney 3, Hayward 3, Campbell 2, Amartey 2, Cleary, Florent
BEST
Essendon: Martin, Laverde, Draper, Caldwell, Roberts
Sydney: Gulden, Blakey, Cleary, Florent, Campbell, Heeney
INJURIES
Essendon: Nil
Sydney: Nil
SUBSTITUTES
Essendon: Jye Menzie (replaced Nick Bryan in the fourth quarter)
Sydney: Corey Warner (replaced Taylor Adams
in the fourth quarter)
Brisbane on the hand ****ed it up completely and likely cost hem themselves a top 4 spot with a loss to the pies.
COLLINGWOOD 2.4 5.6 7.8 11.13 (79)
BRISBANE 6.4 6.5 9.10 11.12 (78)
GOALS
Collingwood: McStay 2, N.Daicos 2, Schultz 2, McCreery 2, Quaynor, Hoskin-Elliott, Cameron
Brisbane: Daniher 4, Neale 2, Lohmann 2, McInerney, Bailey, Cameron
BEST
Collingwood: N.Daicos, Sidebottom, Howe, Cameron, J.Daicos
Brisbane: Zorko, Daniher, Neale, Ashcroft, Fletcher
INJURIES
Collingwood: TBC
Brisbane: Berry (hamstring)
SUBSTITUTES
Collingwood: Ned Long, replaced Jack Bytel at three-quarter time
Brisbane: Harry Sharp, replaced Jarrod Berry
at quarter-time
Crowd: 61,218 at the MCG
The Last Time We Met
Lol, it was almost identical to Friday nights game vs Sydney.
2024 eh -
BRISBANE 2.2 2.7 7.11 12.15 (87)
ESSENDON 1.3 4.5 5.6 6.9 (45)
GOALS
Brisbane: Daniher 6, Bailey 2, McInerney, Hipwood, McCarthy, Rayner
Essendon: Langford 2, Stringer, Perkins, Menzie, McDonald-Tipungwuti
BEST
Brisbane: Daniher, Neale, Andrews, Ashcroft, Coleman, Zorko
Essendon: Redman, Merrett, McGrath, Langford, Hobbs, Setterfield
INJURIES
Brisbane: Nil
Essendon: Nil
LATE CHANGES
Brisbane: Nil
Essendon: Alwyn Davey jnr replaced in selected side by Massimo D’Ambrosio
SUBSTITUTES
Brisbane: Noah Answerth
(replaced Dayne Zorko
in the fourth quarter)
Essendon: Alwyn Davey jnr (replaced D'Ambrosio in the fourth quarter)
Crowd: 31,898 at the Gabba
The Selection Table
Possible Outs -
Menzie -
Laverde -
Weid - It’s done, we’ve proven he can’t do a Liam Jones
or Rory Lobb
.
Stringer/Langford - Can’t play these 2 alongside 2 bigs.. But of course, we still will
Perkins - Didn’t deserve to be back in the team anyways
Parish - I know. Won’t happen, but **** me stop playing Hobbs forward to accommodate him
Kelly - Zero point playing him any more. Negatives outweigh the positives
Possible Ins -
Tsatas - Just has to be givev a game - Put him 100% of the time in the guts and watch him shine - **** parish off to HFF/Bench, early vacation if need be.
Setterfield - Not sure for who though
Hayes - No VFL games nest week, so give him a debut.
El Hawli - Too good for VFL, woudl love to see him debut too.
Wanganeen - Been solid lately and would be worth a look at afl level
ADJ - Nothing to lose playing him now
My Prediction - We’re ****ed
Lions by 60+
Ok okay, Positive thoughts needed:
Archie Roberts showed he has the ability to be an AFL player for Sure.
Caddy looks an impressive get for the season
Jones has managed ot string a fair few games together without being injured, and despite spending half a season on the wing has kicked a resealable amount of goals.
Marto proved once again that he has the best goal-kicking nuance in the club
Dodo is gone
Sheedy is gone to an extent
Heppell retired - Great bloke, and off-field leader, terrible on-field leader - I can see why McGrath was the natural replacement.
Shiel hopefully boosted his trade value - Or helped push Parish onto trade table
Bryan proved that he has real value at AFL level; hopefully can work through some of his flaws, but needs to play 1st ruck next season imo.
Thanks everyone for the kind words, reactions and tuning in each week to what was not more than a pathetic rant most of the time. Someone else please volunteer for next year… It’s bad when I have to fake loving this team, but I can’t even fake hating them anymore… I don’t even hate our rivals in more (Except Carlton, **** them with a horse-sized dildo).. Just envy them.
Once again we watch teams who were shit a couple of years ago fly past us while we wilt away, afraid to lose.. But far too shit to win anything that matters.
It’s a mercy this game is away, as it spares us the embarrassment of record-low crowds, cause who the **** can still be invested?
North has had a more positive season than us.. And that’s not hyperbole. Essendon are so scared of losing, that they go into games not to win, but to avoid losing. It’s why we have no true killer instinct, and it’s why give up so easily, like we did against Sydney last night and like we did against St Kilda, and Port. It’s why only beat West Coast when they were pathetic by 5 points. It’s like we think there is some great honour in avoiding the bottom 4 each season.
We had so few truly dominant moments in the season, but I know that next year will be almost identical to this. Nothing will change and we’ll be looking for another new coach in 2025, because Brad will try and blow up the list and the board won’t let him and will try and convince us that the list is actually good. I believe we have a bottom 4 list currently; and I believe it would have been in our best interest to be a bottom 4 team this year.
When we were winning early, I was hoping like hell I was wrong about this team; I wasn’t; we’re ****ed for a long time still. Glad we’re paying millions to a player who can’t handball though.
The Round Before The Round That Was
Actually, good result - Weid is no good, stringer is no good, Merret/Shiel/Parish just doesn't ****en work, and Langford can’t play a full-season forward effectively.. Langford can’t play a full season effectively if we are being really honest here. Redman is a ****en moron, our defenders can’t defend (Statistically 3 of the worst 1-on-1 defenders including McFumbles) getting average players from shit teams is a great plan for success. Ridley is injured, reid injured, cox injured, and McGrath is a below-average footballer who is absolutely useless at generating forward attacks.. Best give him kick in duties.
Oh well, I’m sure they will also be back next season, apart from more second rate players from other cellar dwellers.
Oh, apparently the players are all upset Heppell didn’t get a farewell game; don’t worry, we fans are more upset that many of the players out there on Friday also didn’t get a farewell game.
ESSENDON 3.1 4.5 5.10 8.11 (59)
SYDNEY 2.2 3.4 9.7 15.8 (98)
GOALS
Essendon: Martin 3, Draper, Stringer, Jones, Caldwell, Langford
Sydney: Parker 3, Heeney 3, Hayward 3, Campbell 2, Amartey 2, Cleary, Florent
BEST
Essendon: Martin, Laverde, Draper, Caldwell, Roberts
Sydney: Gulden, Blakey, Cleary, Florent, Campbell, Heeney
INJURIES
Essendon: Nil
Sydney: Nil
SUBSTITUTES
Essendon: Jye Menzie (replaced Nick Bryan in the fourth quarter)
Sydney: Corey Warner (replaced Taylor Adams
PLAYERCARDSTART
3
Taylor Adams
- Age
- 30
- Ht
- 181cm
- Wt
- 85kg
- Pos.
- M/F
Career
Season
Last 5
- D
- 24.9
- 5star
- K
- 13.5
- 5star
- HB
- 11.4
- 5star
- M
- 4.0
- 4star
- T
- 4.8
- 5star
- CL
- 5.0
- 5star
- D
- 20.4
- 5star
- K
- 12.4
- 5star
- HB
- 8.0
- 4star
- M
- 4.0
- 4star
- T
- 5.9
- 5star
- CL
- 5.9
- 5star
- D
- 18.2
- 5star
- K
- 11.0
- 4star
- HB
- 7.2
- 5star
- M
- 4.4
- 4star
- T
- 3.0
- 5star
- CL
- 2.2
- 4star
PLAYERCARDEND
Brisbane on the hand ****ed it up completely and likely cost hem themselves a top 4 spot with a loss to the pies.
COLLINGWOOD 2.4 5.6 7.8 11.13 (79)
BRISBANE 6.4 6.5 9.10 11.12 (78)
GOALS
Collingwood: McStay 2, N.Daicos 2, Schultz 2, McCreery 2, Quaynor, Hoskin-Elliott, Cameron
Brisbane: Daniher 4, Neale 2, Lohmann 2, McInerney, Bailey, Cameron
BEST
Collingwood: N.Daicos, Sidebottom, Howe, Cameron, J.Daicos
Brisbane: Zorko, Daniher, Neale, Ashcroft, Fletcher
INJURIES
Collingwood: TBC
Brisbane: Berry (hamstring)
SUBSTITUTES
Collingwood: Ned Long, replaced Jack Bytel at three-quarter time
Brisbane: Harry Sharp, replaced Jarrod Berry
PLAYERCARDSTART
7
Jarrod Berry
- Age
- 26
- Ht
- 192cm
- Wt
- 89kg
- Pos.
- Mid
Career
Season
Last 5
- D
- 17.4
- 4star
- K
- 8.5
- 3star
- HB
- 8.9
- 5star
- M
- 3.9
- 4star
- T
- 4.2
- 5star
- CL
- 2.7
- 4star
- D
- 17.0
- 4star
- K
- 9.4
- 4star
- HB
- 7.6
- 4star
- M
- 3.6
- 4star
- T
- 5.1
- 5star
- CL
- 2.9
- 4star
- D
- 10.6
- 3star
- K
- 4.4
- 2star
- HB
- 6.2
- 4star
- M
- 1.8
- 2star
- T
- 2.8
- 5star
- CL
- 0.8
- 3star
PLAYERCARDEND
Crowd: 61,218 at the MCG
The Last Time We Met
Lol, it was almost identical to Friday nights game vs Sydney.
2024 eh -
BRISBANE 2.2 2.7 7.11 12.15 (87)
ESSENDON 1.3 4.5 5.6 6.9 (45)
GOALS
Brisbane: Daniher 6, Bailey 2, McInerney, Hipwood, McCarthy, Rayner
Essendon: Langford 2, Stringer, Perkins, Menzie, McDonald-Tipungwuti
BEST
Brisbane: Daniher, Neale, Andrews, Ashcroft, Coleman, Zorko
Essendon: Redman, Merrett, McGrath, Langford, Hobbs, Setterfield
INJURIES
Brisbane: Nil
Essendon: Nil
LATE CHANGES
Brisbane: Nil
Essendon: Alwyn Davey jnr replaced in selected side by Massimo D’Ambrosio
SUBSTITUTES
Brisbane: Noah Answerth
PLAYERCARDSTART
43
Noah Answerth
- Age
- 25
- Ht
- 183cm
- Wt
- 82kg
- Pos.
- D/F
Career
Season
Last 5
- D
- 12.0
- 3star
- K
- 8.6
- 3star
- HB
- 3.4
- 3star
- M
- 3.7
- 4star
- T
- 2.9
- 4star
- MG
- 208.9
- 3star
- D
- 15.0
- 4star
- K
- 15.0
- 5star
- HB
- 0.0
- 1star
- M
- 4.0
- 4star
- T
- 2.0
- 3star
- MG
- 357.0
- 5star
- D
- 12.0
- 3star
- K
- 7.8
- 3star
- HB
- 4.2
- 4star
- M
- 3.4
- 4star
- T
- 3.0
- 5star
- MG
- 179.2
- 3star
PLAYERCARDEND
PLAYERCARDSTART
15
Dayne Zorko
- Age
- 35
- Ht
- 175cm
- Wt
- 77kg
- Pos.
- M/F
Career
Season
Last 5
- D
- 21.4
- 5star
- K
- 13.2
- 5star
- HB
- 8.2
- 5star
- M
- 3.6
- 4star
- T
- 6.0
- 5star
- CL
- 3.6
- 5star
- D
- 14.0
- 3star
- K
- 9.0
- 4star
- HB
- 5.0
- 3star
- M
- 2.0
- 2star
- T
- 5.0
- 5star
- CL
- 2.0
- 4star
- D
- 16.4
- 4star
- K
- 9.8
- 4star
- HB
- 6.6
- 4star
- M
- 5.2
- 5star
- T
- 6.6
- 5star
- CL
- 1.2
- 4star
PLAYERCARDEND
Essendon: Alwyn Davey jnr (replaced D'Ambrosio in the fourth quarter)
Crowd: 31,898 at the Gabba
The Selection Table
Possible Outs -
Menzie -
Laverde -
Weid - It’s done, we’ve proven he can’t do a Liam Jones
PLAYERCARDSTART
19
Liam Jones
- Age
- 33
- Ht
- 199cm
- Wt
- 98kg
- Pos.
- Def
Career
Season
Last 5
- D
- 9.4
- 2star
- K
- 6.5
- 3star
- HB
- 2.9
- 3star
- M
- 4.3
- 4star
- T
- 2.0
- 4star
- MG
- 134.5
- 2star
- D
- 7.6
- 2star
- K
- 6.1
- 3star
- HB
- 1.4
- 1star
- M
- 4.1
- 4star
- T
- 1.4
- 2star
- MG
- 116.3
- 2star
- D
- 9.4
- 3star
- K
- 7.4
- 3star
- HB
- 2.0
- 2star
- M
- 4.0
- 4star
- T
- 2.2
- 4star
PLAYERCARDEND
PLAYERCARDSTART
7
Rory Lobb
- Age
- 31
- Ht
- 207cm
- Wt
- 106kg
- Pos.
- Fwd
Career
Season
Last 5
- D
- 11.0
- 3star
- K
- 6.7
- 3star
- HB
- 4.4
- 3star
- M
- 4.0
- 4star
- T
- 2.4
- 4star
- G
- 0.9
- 4star
- D
- 11.3
- 3star
- K
- 8.0
- 3star
- HB
- 3.3
- 2star
- M
- 4.6
- 4star
- T
- 1.4
- 2star
- G
- 1.0
- 4star
- D
- 7.0
- 2star
- K
- 4.0
- 2star
- HB
- 3.0
- 3star
- M
- 2.6
- 3star
- T
- 2.8
- 5star
- G
- 0.6
- 3star
PLAYERCARDEND
Stringer/Langford - Can’t play these 2 alongside 2 bigs.. But of course, we still will
Perkins - Didn’t deserve to be back in the team anyways
Parish - I know. Won’t happen, but **** me stop playing Hobbs forward to accommodate him
Kelly - Zero point playing him any more. Negatives outweigh the positives
Possible Ins -
Tsatas - Just has to be givev a game - Put him 100% of the time in the guts and watch him shine - **** parish off to HFF/Bench, early vacation if need be.
Setterfield - Not sure for who though
Hayes - No VFL games nest week, so give him a debut.
El Hawli - Too good for VFL, woudl love to see him debut too.
Wanganeen - Been solid lately and would be worth a look at afl level
ADJ - Nothing to lose playing him now
My Prediction - We’re ****ed
Lions by 60+
Ok okay, Positive thoughts needed:
Archie Roberts showed he has the ability to be an AFL player for Sure.
Caddy looks an impressive get for the season
Jones has managed ot string a fair few games together without being injured, and despite spending half a season on the wing has kicked a resealable amount of goals.
Marto proved once again that he has the best goal-kicking nuance in the club
Dodo is gone
Sheedy is gone to an extent
Heppell retired - Great bloke, and off-field leader, terrible on-field leader - I can see why McGrath was the natural replacement.
Shiel hopefully boosted his trade value - Or helped push Parish onto trade table
Bryan proved that he has real value at AFL level; hopefully can work through some of his flaws, but needs to play 1st ruck next season imo.
Thanks everyone for the kind words, reactions and tuning in each week to what was not more than a pathetic rant most of the time. Someone else please volunteer for next year… It’s bad when I have to fake loving this team, but I can’t even fake hating them anymore… I don’t even hate our rivals in more (Except Carlton, **** them with a horse-sized dildo).. Just envy them.
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