VelvetSledge
Moderator
- May 24, 2007
- 17,860
- 36,722
- AFL Club
- Essendon
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- Liverpool FC, Melbourne Storm
- Moderator
- #1
A maximum of 22 degrees with 40% chance of rain, most likely in the morning. If there is any rain, we will be looking between 0-1mm. Very light winds. Brilliant for footy.
Cheers, Jane.
SportsBet:
ESSENDON BOMBERS: $2.05
COLLINGWOOD MAGPIES: $1.80
CrownBet:
ESSENDON BOMBERS: $2.00
COLLINGWOOD MAGPIES: $1.83
UBET:
ESSENDON BOMBERS: $2.10
COLLINGWOOD MAGPIES: $1.77
Odds on no-one reading this section after the photo of Jane Bunn? $1.01.
ESSENDON BOMBERS
HhhhHHhhhHhhhHHHnNNNNNNGGGGG.
Good GOD that was satisfying. Things worked, things clicked, and FINALLY the changes were made.
Stringer down forward was excellent. 4 goals, one of them a Goal of the Year nominee, and one high-ten for some dude who got a token video on the YouTube channel. Good.
Cale Hooker was dominant in defence, and looked to be just like the AA defender he was a few years ago.
Hurley. COLLOSSAL.
Stewart continues to be a ludicrously good signing for absolute peanuts. His rumoured contract extension can't come soon enough. Gun.
This Matt Guelfi has something about him. He has an awareness for the contest and the game that very few have. Great eyebrows.
Parish has turned into a seriously strong inside midfielder. He makes the best runs at the best times, and always puts a solid hoof to push it inside 50.
Myers slotted two! RE-SIGN HIM AND MAKE HIM CAPTAIN.
Devon Smith was a great signing. What a brilliant effort. He's been great all year.
Special mention to Mark Baguley for kicking a goal and celebrating like we won the flag.
Also a special mention to my pants for not exploding when we won.
ESSENDON BOMBERS 16.10 106 def. PORT ADELAIDE 12.12 84
BEST: Hurley, Stringer, Merrett, Heppell, Zaharakis
GOALS: Stringer 4, Stewart 3, Daniher, Myers 2, Fantasia, Green, Goddard, Baguley (lol), McDonald-Tipungwuti
INJURIES: Brown (Calf, replaced by Hartley), Stewart (Ankle), Saad (Quad)
REPORTS: Nil
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COLLINGWOOD MAGPIES
Well bugger me.
Probably the biggest upset of last week, the Pies flew over to Adelaide Oval and clinically took apart the Crows, piece by piece.
Fourth gamer Jaidyn Stephenson almost single-handedly rendered the Adelaide defence useless, booting 5 goals as the Magpies won by 48 points.
Steele Sidebottom decided to have his best game just before ANZAC Day (again, ****), and finished with 43 touches, 26 of them being contested, while also keeping Sloane quiet.
Adam Treloar hit 36 touches and continued his solid form in the early stages of the season.
Brodie Grundy continued his excellent start to 2018, and looks to have sealed up his "best ruckman in the league" tag.
Even Lynden Dunn had a good game. Lynden Dunn.
De Goey has come back from suspension in great shape and even better form, and will be a key pillar to the Pies' engine room this week.
Of COURSE they have a huge win before they play us. Maybe the Pies aren't trash anymore.
ADELAIDE CROWS 9.4 58 def. by COLLINGWOOD MAGPIES 16.10 106
BEST: Sidebottom, Grundy, Stephenson, Treloar, Pendlebury, Phillips, Hoskin-Elliott, Dunn
GOALS: Stephenson 5, Thomas, Hoskin-Elliott 2, Grundy, Varcoe, Reid, Phillips, Crocker, Aish, De Goey
INJURIES: Nil
REPORTS: Nil
ESSENDON EMERGENCIES
Kyle Langford, Shaun McKernan, Ben McNiece, Mason Redman
COLLINGWOOD EMERGENCIES
Jarryd Blair, Brayden Sier, Sam McLarty, Flynn Appleby
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ESSENDON INS: Jackson Merrett
ESSENDON OUTS: Orazio Fantasia (soreness)
COLLINGWOOD INS: No Change
COLLINGWOOD OUTS: No Change
For once, there really isn't much to discuss here. Orazio Fantasia's groin was grabbed far too hard at the sponsor night by DapperDon , and as such, he will miss this week. He should be right for Melbourne in a few days time. Dapper, next time, use foreplay.
He will be replaced by Merrett the Elder, with Jackson Merrett making his first AFL appearance since 2016 after a 5 goal showing in the VFL last week. There's something about the number 20 for Essendon that makes me excited. Must be the Hank Slattery days.
Collingwood have resisted the urge to bring back returning injured players for ANZAC Day, instead opting to use them against Richmond for Round 6.
Much like a Liberal Government, they have changed nothing.
/politics
ESSENDON BOMBERS - #6 - JOE DANIHER
Even if you excuse the hilariously comical Mark of the Year controversy of last year, Joey D always manages to stick a rock hard one right up the Pies. Last year, he won the ANZAC Medal after his 3 goal, hand-twirling, lord of the world performance. Joey has had a remarkably slow start to the year in 2018, but looked to have got the Daniher swagger back in the last quarter against Port. The Pies do have Scharenberg as his direct match up, but the issue for the Pies is that Joey has a huge turn of speed which Scharenberg doesn't have. Joe's long left hoof was one of the trademark moments from last year's ANZAC Day, and I won't be satisfied unless he does it at least 7 times today.
Pls.
ESSENDON BOMBERS - #11 - DAVID ZAHARAKIS
I don't need to say anything here, let's just hope this happens again.
I meant the goal, not the heart-stopping bullshittery.
COLLINGWOOD MAGPIES - #4 - BRODIE GRUNDY
Here's the problem with Grundy. He's just bloody good, and based on current form, he's the best ruckman in the league. You can't look past him - and when you consider that Bellchambers isn't really impacting games as much as we would like him to so far this year, you fear for our prospects at the contests. His speed and disposal on the outside when he breaks free from his opponents (which he will) is a scary thing to witness - and when you consider that we may very well be schooled by a man WITH A MAN BUN, then we need to make sure that he's contained.
Or, someone runs onto the field with a pair of clippers and takes care of it.
COLLINGWOOD MAGPIES - #22 - WOODEN FRONT ARSE
This is about as much as I could do for Sidebottom, because he's going to get 43 touches and kick 3.
Again.
Lest We Forget - 25/4/18
On the 31st of October, 1914, the Turkish Ottoman Empire entered World War 1. There had been trench warfare reigning hell on The Western Front for months, and the only result either way was death and destruction. The British War Cabinet decided that the best way forward within the war was to attack the Central Powers through different means; namely, a naval assault aimed at forging a passage through the Dardanelles. After numerous failed attempts, it became apparent that a landing attempt would be necessary. These landings were constructed to invade the Gallipoli Peninsula, in the hopes that it would forge a path for an invasion of the Turkish capital, Constantinople.
What followed can only be described as a rushed effort at an invasion that was doomed from the start.
LG William Birdwood was the head commander of the newly minted Australian New Zealand Army Corp - comprised of the Australian Division and two brigades of the New Zealand and Australian Division. He received orders from the British War Cabinet that he was to send his troops on an Amphibious Assault on the Western side of the Gallipoli Peninsula - troops that were two mounted brigades down on normal strength, as they were left in Egypt. It was believed that they wouldn't be needed through the Middle East. This left the ANZAC numbers free for the invasion at Gallipoli at 30,638.
The intention was for the ANZACs to land between Gaba Tepe and Fisherman's Hut just before dawn, after a lengthly naval gunfire bombardment. They were to send two waves of troops onto the beaches - one to seize the lower areas of Hill 971, and the second to capture the spur of the hill. Birdwood had planned for the assault to begin under the veil of night, at 3.30am. Those who planned the assault had reasoned that the area was sparsely defended, and Turkish opposition wasn't even thrown into the equation.
On the 19th of April, 1915, the ANZACs were commanded to stop training, and to prepare all naval craft for an assault. The landing was originally scheduled for the 23rd of April, but the craft took longer to arrive than first expected - this is where the plan unravelled. At 2.00am, a Turkish Sentry based on the coast spotted ships moving at sea, and by 2.30am, the Turkish headquarters was made aware. At 3.30, the larger of the ANZAC ships stopped off the coast, as the small rowboats that the ANZACs decided to use under the moonlight headed into shore. They landed 1.6km North of their intended target, and instead of facing an open beach as intended, they were faced with cliff faces and hills. The mistake saw them be somewhat sheltered from Turkish fire, and 15 minutes later, the ANZAC battleships fired at the hills surrounding the troops. On the way into shore, however, the Australian troops were muddled in their rowboats, and the entire operation's hastily organised formations were blown away.
Over the next twenty hours, the ANZACs worked their way up the hills and cliffs of Gallipoli, under heavy fire from Turkish forces. They were told, "You have got through the difficult business. All you have to do now is dig, dig, dig until you are safe". The mistakes made in both organising and executing the operation saw the Gallipoli campaign cost 26,111 Australian casualties, including 8,141 deaths. Despite this, it's been said that the campaign had little to no affect on the war.
We don't recognise today as a war victory. We don't recognise it as a result of war-time glory, and we don't celebrate the blood shed on the beaches and hills of Gallipoli. As Australians, today is a day to reflect on the sacrifices made by those brave soldiers back in the 1910s (and every war since), including those who made the ultimate sacrifice. It is a day for us to say thanks to those who gave up their freedoms so that we, in 2018, can have the lives that we do. We have free will, we have lives that are dictated by us and us only. Whether you spent this morning at a dawn service, or if you spent it at home with friends and family. Whether you've had a home-cooked breakfast or if you've continued the tradition of the "Gunfire Breakfast" - coffee with rum added to it. Our freedoms, and the choices that we have, are direct results of the efforts of our troops, both in World War 1 and ensuing battles since.
Today, at the MCG, one of the great traditions of ANZAC Day in Melbourne continues into its 23rd year. We are heading into a game that's bigger than the four points. It's bigger than just another game of footy. This is Essendon v Collingwood. It's tradition. It's the biggest game of the year outside of September.
Today, 90,000+ Australians will descend on the MCG, to pause, reflect, and respect those who gave us the liberties that we have. Remove your hats, bow your heads, and don't make a sound during the minute's silence. Sing along to the national anthem, and when the teams run through the joint banner, cheer and celebrate. Sing the song.
And at the end of the game, sing it again.
Up the Dons.
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.
Lest We Forget.
-VS
This weeks effort has been brought to you by the mixture of lager and trout. Old mate Beerfish .
So here we are again. ANZAC Day. Essendon. Collingwood. History says it's 13 to 9 their way. We won last year for the first time in 4. They've won more than 1 on the trot 4 times to our 2. Where am I going with this in depth analysis? I don't know. Am I trying to say this is our time? Possibly. Am I trying to say it's our turn to start taking this game back? Maybe. Then again maybe I'm just trying to fill space.
All I know is, in the greater context of our footballing landscape I am absolutely sick to death of seeing us lose games we should win and we should win this one. Is Collingwood a shit team? Well, kind of but they do have a lot of injuries so there's that. Then again, we've got our fair share too so is that really an excuse? No it isn't. Should umpiring matter even if it is diabolically against us? No. If we're good enough it shouldn't even if they **** us 5 ways to next Sunday. What does that actually mean? I'm not entirely sure but it doesn't sound pleasant.
If we bring the silky skills, quick ball movement and pressure we all know this team is capable of we will probably win and if we just turn up expecting it to happen and then give up 5 minutes after it doesn't we're stuffed. Can we bring that intensity we had against Port? Of course we can. Will we though? I don't know and that's the thing about our team. You just never know which one is going to run out onto the ground. Essendon or essington? Who knows. Why do I keep asking questions and then answering them? I'm not 100% sure but I feel a bit like this database lecturer I used have back in uni. He used to do that for the entire 2 hour lecture. Is it the space thing again? Maybe. Was he just doing it to fill time too or did he have some kind of mental problem? Again, I'm not sure.
At the end of the day though, all other things being equal and when push comes to shove as sure as the sun that goes down will come up again this whole thing can be distilled down to 3 words.
Just. *******. Win.
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I need someone to rant for the Melbourne game next week, so please let me know if you're keen!
If you would like to nominate for a guest spot as a ranter, please PM me!
ROUND 16, 2017
Crowd: 63,537 - MCG
ESSENDON BOMBERS 18.9 117
def.
COLLINGWOOD MAGPIES 12.8 80
---------
ESSENDON BEST: Fantasia, Kelly, Daniher, Zaharakis, Heppell
ESSENDON GOALS: Fantasia 5, Daniher 3, Bellchambers, Stewart, Z. Merrett 2, Colyer, Zaharakis, Hooker, McDonald-Tipungwuti
COLLINGWOOD BEST: Pendlebury, Sidebottom, Adams, Langdon
COLLINGWOOD GOALS: Fasolo 4, Elliott 3, Reid, Adams, Broomhead, Cox, De Goey
---------
CHANGES SINCE THEN:
ESSENDON OUTS: Fantasia, Colyer, Kelly, Watson, Gleeson, McKenna
ESSENDON INS: Saad, Stringer, Smith, Begley, J. Merrett, Guelfi
COLLINGWOOD OUTS: Fasolo, Elliott, Adams, Greenwood, Smith, Goldsack, Broomhead
COLLINGWOOD INS: Stephenson, Brown, Phillips, Howe, Murray, Crocker, Aish
Telecast begins one hour and twenty minutes before the first bounce
MELBOURNE:
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 2.00pm AEST), FOX FOOTY (LIVE at 2.00pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 2.00pm AEST)
RADIO: Triple M, 3AW, SEN, ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
SYDNEY:
TV: 7mate (LIVE at 2.00pm AEST), FOX FOOTY (LIVE at 2.00pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 2.00pm AEST)
RADIO: ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
ADELAIDE:
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 1.30pm ACST), FOX FOOTY (LIVE at 1.30pm ACST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.30pm ACST)
RADIO: Triple M, ABC, FiveAA
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
PERTH:
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 12.00pm AWST), FOX FOOTY (LIVE at 12.00pm AWST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 12.00pm AWST)
RADIO: ABC, 6PR
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
BRISBANE:
TV: 7mate (LIVE at 2.00pm AEST), FOX FOOTY (LIVE at 2.00pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 2.00pm AEST)
RADIO: ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
TASMANIA:
TV: Southern Cross (LIVE at 2.00pm), FOX FOOTY (LIVE at 2.00pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 2.00pm AEST)
RADIO: NIRS, Triple M, ABC, AFL Nation
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
DARWIN:
TV: Southern Cross (LIVE at 1.30pm ACST), FOX FOOTY (LIVE at 1.30pm ACST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.30pm ACST)
RADIO: ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
It's the biggest home and away game of the season.
It's ANZAC Day.
It doesn't get bigger than this.
... Well, before September at least.
Bring it on!
Essendon by 19.
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