Media SCSN's "News from the Underground"

[GremioPower]

​

Hello, everyone! Here is your host, GremioPower, presenting News from the Underground.

This show brings everything about your beloved Swamprats – all the news, both true and fake – in a way that only the SCSN, Sweet's best sports network, can provide.

Our team of reporters and analysts is second to none – not even to those from f... f... phenomenal Gold City!

You won't miss anything!

Stay tuned.

 

[GremioPower]

​

 

[Yakker]

Go to bed for god sakes man!

 

[GremioPower]

Go to bed for god sakes man!

But it's 3pm...

 

[Yakker]

But it's 3pm...

Oh, is it? Carry on then

 

[GremioPower]

BEST AND FAIREST NIGHT

​

Before talking about the Grand Final... If we are going to talk about the Grand Final, I mean. Excuse me...

(Why on Hell would WE want to talk about the Grand Final?! Who's responsible for the script, for crying out loud! Give me a break, will ya?! Grand Final... Please... F&#@ the Grand Final!)
(So, where were we? Oh... Right.)

We've had a minor technical issue. We are sorry for the incovenience, but it is now solved.

The latest news coming from The Underground is that the date for celebrating another great Swamprat season has been settled. The Best and Fairest Night will happen in December 23rd, two days before Christmas.

Captain philreich and the rest of the leadership group are preparing an awesome party in honor of the club' squad. We will know the winner of the traditional Toots Hibbert award, for the best player of the season, and many more.

It's on the December 23rd. Don't miss it!

 

[GremioPower]

Oh, is it? Carry on then

Thanks for the audience, but why are you awaken?

 

[Yakker]

Thanks for the audience, but why are you awaken?

Heading to work

 

[GremioPower]

ANT BEAR: A RAT FOR LIFE​

Ant Bear has cleaned his desk and left the keys of SFA's Boss Room to the league's next ruler: NaturalDisaster. His public farewell can be found in the thread "Sunset", posted in the Sweet F.A. Board at the online anonymous text-based football discussion forum bigfooty.com.

To the question on his ambitions for the foreseeable future, the 2-time Mobbs medalist has simply said: "I'm actually looking forward to just being a player for a while now." Still, he made no mystery on where. Having already played S30 in Sin City, after 2 seasons away from the club, Ant Bear promptly said that he couldn't play anywhere, but at the Rats: "I bleed black, white, red and silver."

Informed that the team had changed silver for gold during S29, the former SFA administrator was surprised. It was a hilarious mix-up, and we all – that’s Ant Bear, GremioPower, others from the "News from the Underground" show at the Sin City Sports Network in the online anonymous text-based football discussion forum bigfooty.com, and Headless – are still laughing about it now.

The former Swamprat captain took it well and told us it didn't matter: "I will never leave again."

Ant Bear is a Rat for life!

 

[beez]

 

[jackster83]

Subscribed.

 

[philreich]

Oh come on - surely this is better than The Half Back taking 3 weeks and 19 different threads (OK I exaggerated slightly) to tell us who he's playing for next season, and then us being completely underwhelmed when we discover the answer.......

 

[Smartys Power]

This is good, it’s like a real news bulletin. In the fact that I’m not going to watch.

 

[GremioPower]

PRESS CONFERENCE - I: a sad farewell​

In today’s press conference, the Rat captain philreich made some important announcements regarding the Swamprats’ preparations for next season. Now, let’s take a look at its highlights. First, there is sad news, especially for the young ladies of Sin City:

“projectv, due real-life commitments, won’t be able to come back for a second season. He will certainly be missed in the clubhouse.”

“He was our only rookie this season and has certainly played his role well. His posts were good when he was on. Besides, he soon became a fan favourite and our talisman, after taking a spot on our bench at the precise time we started a 9-game winning streak. He had a really good season, finishing among the Top-10 interchangers in the league and being named in the All-Gun Rookie Squad.”

“The doors at The Underground will be always open for him if he decides on resuming his qooty career. Meanwhile, we at the Swamprats wish him farewell.”

Still, it was a day with more good news than bad ones. We will be back with better tidings after the break.

 

[GremioPower]

 

[GremioPower]

PRESS CONFERENCE - II: a new friend decided to stay​

We are back with more from the Rats press conference held earlier at The Underground. philreich also spoke about the future of the ex-Wonder Wojcinski:

“The arrival of Wojcinski through a trade with the Wonders was a nice surprise. We didn’t know what to expect. We were simply trying to do what was right for haydo.”

“I can honestly say that it was a trade in which everybody won. It's been a pleasure welcoming Woj as a team mate. We are happy to tell you all that he will remain a Rat for S31 – and hopefully beyond!"

"We didn’t know at the time, but Woj was thinking in hanging his boots before S30. How could we possibly know?! It’s quite hard to believe now, after he has told us."

"Woj has not only stayed in the league, but also accepted joining us. However, he did more than that. Since his arrival, Wojcinski has actively worked with us in both the match threads and the club PM. It was as if he had been a Rat forever. He still can be it. Coming back with us for S31 is a small step, but a very important one, towards that.”

The good news didn’t stop there. There is more – right after the adds.

 

[GremioPower]

 

[GremioPower]

PRESS CONFERENCE - III: for a Gun's 100th​

If you were excited about Wojcinski, then prepare to go mad with what is coming now. philreich has also brought good news about S30 Mobbs medalist, the Rat Musician, Nunez:


“There isn’t much I, or anyone for that matter, can say that hasn’t yet been said about how important Nunez is for the club. Those watching from the outside see the Premiership players, the two-time Mobbs winner, the drazah medalist, but he is more than that.”

“Nunez contributes immensely in our club PM, helping us maintaining our culture of friendship. This past two seasons, his art helped keep our morale high, despite the challenges we all were facing outside of Sweet.”

“When he said that the idea of playing elsewhere had grown on him, it hurt. True. Having seen him departing would be difficult regardless, but leaving with 98 matches played? Boy, it hurt a lot. However, it is with great joy that I announce Nunez has given up of such absurd thought and decided to stay!”

“We have a flag to recover, and Nunez will be a key figure for us on that.”


We will have a fast break before coming another great news. Don’t leave. You don’t want to miss this!

 

[GremioPower]

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

Oh come on - surely this is better than The Half Back taking 3 weeks and 19 different threads (OK I exaggerated slightly) to tell us who he's playing for next season, and then us being completely underwhelmed when we discover the answer.......

It's not.

 

[Ant Bear]

Having already played S30 in Sin City, after 5 seasons away from the club, Ant Bear promptly said that he couldn't play anywhere, but at the Rats: "I bleed black, white, red and silver

5 seasons?

The Wonders must have put me in a time capsule.

 

[GremioPower]

5 seasons?

The Wonders must have put me in a time capsule.

Oops... Let me fix it! It should be 2.

It's just another hilarious mix-up! Right, Headless?

 

[GremioPower]

PRESS CONFERENCE - IV: Oh, captain, my captain​

So, Woj and the Musician are staying! When you wondered there could be no better news, philreich talked about the club’s captaincy. You can stop worrying, Rat faithful, he still is the Rat skipper! Phil also spoke about the Leadership Group:


“After the Grand Final loss, thus S30 being a failed season for the club, I went before the whole squad and presented my resignation. I invited them to step up and put their names up for the position. I also told them that I wasn’t running away. If their decision was making me captain again, I would accept it. The decision was unanimous, and I am glad to inform you that there will be no shortage of dad jokes in the league committee next season.”

“I couldn’t do it all alone, though. If we had another good season, it is due the support of 5 legends I’ve had this season. I want to publicly thank them all, my dear friends, for their efforts:

• jackster83, our vice-captain;
• ant555, one of the all-time greats;
• SarahSmiles, who brings both youth and experience;
• Sparkle, who is always available when we need; and
• GremioPower, who I can’t believe is only a 30-gamer.

They've been immense from start to finish.”

“There was a moment, I won’t deny it, that I thought that we’ve had lost four good players. akkaps was gone, and Nunez, Wojcinski, and projectv had all open up the possibility of leaving. Our situation wasn’t looking good. But the Leadership Group didn’t give up, and not long after it, Nunez and Wojcinski came and announced they were staying.”

“Unfortunately, we couldn’t hold on projectv, but 2 out of 3 is a bloody good effort. Besides, as the Royals has shown us last Sunday and despite our own claims in contrary, the truth is we cannot win them all. Having said that, you can rest assured, in this club we always do everything we possibly can to achieve full success. After all, that’s the Rat Way!”


We will have philreich talking about the future of the Leadership Group next. Stay tuned!

 

[GremioPower]

 

[TJASTA]

this is the dumbest thread ever