Really confused as to what to do
Went on probably 5 or 6 dates with this guy from Tinder. Let me just preface by saying that most of these dates were us just talking and enjoying each other's company.
Nothing physical at all, conversation didn't even once deviate towards anything sexual.
The second date he told me he was after a relationship, but that was really all he'd shown me in terms of interest. He didn't necessarily say he wanted a relationship with me, and he didn't seem to act it.
It got to a point where we'd hang out for 8-9 hours straight just walking, talking, eating, chatting or doing, I suppose, coupley shit like going to board game cafes.
But then at the end of each date, it was always a swift goodbye, no kiss. He didn't make a move at all, didn't seem to be a complimenter/affectionate, and was hard to read, so I figured maybe he just wanted to be friends. I'd cut it short - 'seeya' - if we dawdled for too long.
So over the span of six odd dates I start gaining a decent interest in the guy. He makes me laugh until I bawl my eyes out, conversation hasn't been dying, and he's more than happy to do pointless shit with me. Didn't seem to flinch when I told him about my real emotional shortcomings and my rough upbringing. Reciprocated with his own ****ed up tales of woe. The only thing really lacking was the physical connection.
Yesterday we spent all day together, going from markets for lunch, to dinner to dessert. Overall a v nice day. He'd started putting his arm around me and being a lot more touchy in general. Just juvenile shit like trying to tickle me, when I'm severely ticklish. For the most part, it was very tame but I got the message he was very interested in me. Then we get to dessert.
After spending 9 bloody hours together, topic of conversation flips to people watching and guessing peoples' fetishes. He (says he) thought I had asked him to guess mine, and it had been mentioned that I was a sub somewhere along the way, so he said he thinks I could be into rough play.
Firstly I freeze up because I'm caught off guard after hours of sexless chat. I tell him that he'd be right, and then I turn it back on to him and tell him I think he seems like he'd be into a more vanilla style.
He starts shaking. I mean quivering, from his hands, to his lips and cheeks. He's gone red and over the span of the next five minutes he goes through probably eight glasses of water.
"Actually, it's a part of me I've repressed for my entire life. I'm very much a dom. I like the idea of tying someone up and edging them."
He tells me, "I haven't explored this side of me much at all, mostly because I think it ties in very closely with my upbringing. I feel like I want to dominate women to 'get back' at them for how they/my mother treated me growing up. And I think that's possible now because I'm more conventionally attractive now compared to how I was growing up."
Throughout his entire spiel, he's staring me in the eye and rubbing his hands together like Mr Burns. It seems almost scripted.
Then he comes out and says,
"You say I'm not a complimenter. Well, I'll just get it out on the table. You just have this way of opening me up.
I think you're very hot, I like you, and I love spending time with you. When you laugh uncontrollably, there's just something about you. Of course it's great that we could be very sexually compatible and I'd like to test some things on you, but I also like that we can talk about things like astral projection and the dismemberment of Jamal Khashoggi."
I don't know how to respond between noting his sudden avalanche of body language and processing what he has to say, so I awkwardly chip in with "well, if ya can't talk at length about the slaughter of Jamal Khashoggi, what's the point?".
I was just quite startled. He went from cool and collected to seething with this sadistic sexual steam out of nowhere. After all was said and done, he was there just sort of bustling in his seat, laughing at the fact he's shaking and that he "has so much adrenaline right now". Then we just silently stared into each other's eyes over a plate of pancakes.
I asked him "what now?", which he took as a token to invite me to the disabled toilets. I declined, and said I'd had enough for the day and was very tired, which I was. We head on home. He says he's glad it's all out on the table, and we talk about other stuff.
As we're chatting, he mentions that he'd gone for a run at midnight the other day. I ask him why. He initially says because he "just felt like it". Moments later corrects himself and says "Actually, if you want the truth, I felt terrible and just needed an out. Probably has a lot to do with my self-hatred issues." He starts crying.
Beyond the events of dessert, I really liked this guy.
I don't even necessarily mind his emotional baggage.
Just think that maybe there are a few red flags and that maybe he should deal with his issues before he jumps into anything with me. I just am not sure how to approach this. He seems so genuine, but he seems he has such potential to be so sinister
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Went on probably 5 or 6 dates with this guy from Tinder. Let me just preface by saying that most of these dates were us just talking and enjoying each other's company.
Nothing physical at all, conversation didn't even once deviate towards anything sexual.
The second date he told me he was after a relationship, but that was really all he'd shown me in terms of interest. He didn't necessarily say he wanted a relationship with me, and he didn't seem to act it.
It got to a point where we'd hang out for 8-9 hours straight just walking, talking, eating, chatting or doing, I suppose, coupley shit like going to board game cafes.
But then at the end of each date, it was always a swift goodbye, no kiss. He didn't make a move at all, didn't seem to be a complimenter/affectionate, and was hard to read, so I figured maybe he just wanted to be friends. I'd cut it short - 'seeya' - if we dawdled for too long.
So over the span of six odd dates I start gaining a decent interest in the guy. He makes me laugh until I bawl my eyes out, conversation hasn't been dying, and he's more than happy to do pointless shit with me. Didn't seem to flinch when I told him about my real emotional shortcomings and my rough upbringing. Reciprocated with his own ****ed up tales of woe. The only thing really lacking was the physical connection.
Yesterday we spent all day together, going from markets for lunch, to dinner to dessert. Overall a v nice day. He'd started putting his arm around me and being a lot more touchy in general. Just juvenile shit like trying to tickle me, when I'm severely ticklish. For the most part, it was very tame but I got the message he was very interested in me. Then we get to dessert.
After spending 9 bloody hours together, topic of conversation flips to people watching and guessing peoples' fetishes. He (says he) thought I had asked him to guess mine, and it had been mentioned that I was a sub somewhere along the way, so he said he thinks I could be into rough play.
Firstly I freeze up because I'm caught off guard after hours of sexless chat. I tell him that he'd be right, and then I turn it back on to him and tell him I think he seems like he'd be into a more vanilla style.
He starts shaking. I mean quivering, from his hands, to his lips and cheeks. He's gone red and over the span of the next five minutes he goes through probably eight glasses of water.
"Actually, it's a part of me I've repressed for my entire life. I'm very much a dom. I like the idea of tying someone up and edging them."
He tells me, "I haven't explored this side of me much at all, mostly because I think it ties in very closely with my upbringing. I feel like I want to dominate women to 'get back' at them for how they/my mother treated me growing up. And I think that's possible now because I'm more conventionally attractive now compared to how I was growing up."
Throughout his entire spiel, he's staring me in the eye and rubbing his hands together like Mr Burns. It seems almost scripted.
Then he comes out and says,
"You say I'm not a complimenter. Well, I'll just get it out on the table. You just have this way of opening me up.
I think you're very hot, I like you, and I love spending time with you. When you laugh uncontrollably, there's just something about you. Of course it's great that we could be very sexually compatible and I'd like to test some things on you, but I also like that we can talk about things like astral projection and the dismemberment of Jamal Khashoggi."
I don't know how to respond between noting his sudden avalanche of body language and processing what he has to say, so I awkwardly chip in with "well, if ya can't talk at length about the slaughter of Jamal Khashoggi, what's the point?".
I was just quite startled. He went from cool and collected to seething with this sadistic sexual steam out of nowhere. After all was said and done, he was there just sort of bustling in his seat, laughing at the fact he's shaking and that he "has so much adrenaline right now". Then we just silently stared into each other's eyes over a plate of pancakes.
I asked him "what now?", which he took as a token to invite me to the disabled toilets. I declined, and said I'd had enough for the day and was very tired, which I was. We head on home. He says he's glad it's all out on the table, and we talk about other stuff.
As we're chatting, he mentions that he'd gone for a run at midnight the other day. I ask him why. He initially says because he "just felt like it". Moments later corrects himself and says "Actually, if you want the truth, I felt terrible and just needed an out. Probably has a lot to do with my self-hatred issues." He starts crying.
Beyond the events of dessert, I really liked this guy.
I don't even necessarily mind his emotional baggage.
Just think that maybe there are a few red flags and that maybe he should deal with his issues before he jumps into anything with me. I just am not sure how to approach this. He seems so genuine, but he seems he has such potential to be so sinister
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
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