The Divvy Van - He got the Divvy van bluuuues

[Probitas_]

I'm on top of you too..third now

Have been knocked off my top spot in League 1 as well. Horror week for me, entirely my own fault too, didn't pay enough attention to injuries.

 

[Lethality]

Hawthorn's youth - an unbiased and realistic assessment

Hi folks, well that Geelong youth thread got a bit out of hand unfortunately. I just wanted a thread where we could discuss their youth and rate them without it turning into a shitfight and trollfest but unfortunately that plan failed. Mods, please backfire that thread please

Anyway onto brighter matters and here is an honest appraisal of Hawthorn's youth, as requested. Youth as in the Geelong thread is 25 years and under. Thank you.

Duryea - solid hardnut with elite kicking skills - 7
Hill - elite outside runner - 7
Langford - contested ball freak who lacks kicking skills at times - 6
Sicily - promising youngster with lots of skills - 4
Shiels - seasoned gun - 7
Breust - small forward star - 8
Gunston - third tall forward star - 8
Anderson - promising youngster with skills - 4
Hartung - 12 game star - 7
Schoenmakers - versatile KPP, possibly the next Gunston - 5
Ceglar - seasoned gun - 7
Litherland - butchers the ball a bit but has weapons - 4
o'Rourke - smooth moving star of the future - 5

Average rating - 6.

Ok I don't want to start a fight but this comprehensively outrates Geelong's honest and unbiased assessment, which is #concerning since we are not even rebuilding . . . .

 

[T2B_]

Remove Shoenmakers or give him a proper rating... otherwise #divvy.

 

[Lethality]

Remove Shoenmakers or give him a proper rating... otherwise #divvy.

I feel that 5 is a bit harsh for a proven Grand Final performer but I am sometimes tough on my players. Thank you T2B_

 

[db swannie]

This will end well...

 

[Starburns_]

This will end well...

Sure will.

 

[Woobla Stainz]

Dyson Heppel Watch

I couldn't believe my eyes when I read that Hep-D has booted 3 goals already this season, I mean that's equal to his 2011 and 2012 total goal tallies and half of his total goals for last year.

Maybe the Essendon fans are right about him being a top 5 player in the league with potential to be number 1 in one to two years time just like he is predicted to be, because that's what the top players do right? Hurt the opposition and kick goals?

 

[BloodRet]

Woobla Stainz divvy watch

 

[JoseMourinho]

Nah, I rather read the Nic Nat Mark Thread.

 

[DapperJong]

This doesn't even deserve a witty retort. This is just a shit thread.

 

[Cmarsh]

This doesn't even deserve a witty retort. This is just a shit thread.

Here's my retort - Even Tom Scully has kicked more than 3 goals this season.

 

[DapperJong]

Here's my retort - Even Tom Scully has kicked more than 3 goals this season.

$333,333 per goal

 

[Cmarsh]

$333,333 per goal

Scully's A grade now, worth every penny.

 

[STP18]

Would be Wet Toast's best player.

 

[GuzzLG]

On track for 10 goals for the year which should take out our goal kicking award. Elite mid is elite.

 

[Woobla Stainz]

Would be Wet Toast's best player.

nah hes a poor mans Priddis and Priddis isn't our best, try again

 

[Woobla Stainz]

On track for 10 goals for the year which should take out our goal kicking award. Elite mid is elite.

if he reaches 10 bombers fans will start talking Coleman.

 

[NorthernLights]

Dyson Heppell balls watch would be more appropriate.

 

[Woobla Stainz]

Heppell is obviously a protected species, Nic Nat mark watch all good but dont you dare post about the Golden child.

 

[Bender_]

Heppell is obviously a protected species, Nic Nat mark watch all good but dont you dare post about the Golden child.

It's not personal mate.

 

[El Dubya]

I like it Royals

I have an alternative conspiracy theory:
James was a narcissistic sociopath with delusions of coaching grandure.

Unable to polish the turd that was the Essendon list, James jabbed the shit out of them with TB4, AOD, Mexican aids and **** knows what else.

They got caught, he was shocked to be sitting there yet took full responsibility. Until he didn't take responsibility anymore and ran away to France to further develop his cowardly traits.

He came back, refused to stepdown then held the club to ransom when he threatened to sue them if they sacked him.

They lost to Norf in a final, drafted more backup hasbeens in the offseason and thanks to the ineptness of ASADA escaped without being reamed.

James and his merry morons celebrated their defeat of ASADA, the other 17 clubs they cheated and the evil villainess Caro with a big piss up on the koolaid.

Free at last, they publically discussed closing the ASADA thread on the * board. While Doss and the hirdites slept, WADA caught up on BF and decided to troll them in a way not seen since Jazny destroyed Podgey and ensured Leigh Matthews would forever be known as a fat sniper, rather than the GOAT

James was shocked but appeared in the media beside Bomber fan/sympathiser, Big Dog. Unexpectedly, the only penetration that evening came from Gerard "the worm" Whately who went in dry, albeit not that rough or deep but impressively all the same.

And now ... we wait for almighty WADA, out of reach of the scheming corrupt AFL, unbiased and wanting blood. This is just getting good.

To be continued ...

Meh, zero fat jokes, no casual vomiting and basically repeating the news. This isn't creative writing, merely a descriptive summary. 7/10

 

[Morganashlee]

Meh, zero fat jokes, no casual vomiting and basically repeating the news. This isn't creative writing, merely a descriptive summary. 7/10

I appreciate the critique, I'd reciprocate but I'm not interested in reading Big Dog: 100 uninspired ways of retelling the same fat joke for a cheap laugh.

Let me know if you get to the creative writing, I'll be interested to read something that isn't bland and repetitive.

 

[TheRoo32]

I think so...

 

[Despair]

Your father should have worn a tarp

 

[Impunity!]

Your father should have worn a tarp

Epic first reply is epic