Round Five - Roy
Tonga Bob
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- Oct 26, 2013
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I went on holiday in round five. If you were to define dedication, you would see a picture of me in my hammock still on my bullsh*t putting out this sort of content for my team. So this is what I came up with for that week's KYO episode...
Our opponents this week are the Roys. They are old and they have a gorilla as a mascot, so in terms of describing them via some sort of fictional family I could have done some sort of Planet of the Apes thing, but no. I could have done some Golden Girls thing but again, no. So Sweet, I'm here to give to you:
Let's take a look at the characters of this motley crew...
TedDougChris is a substitute teacher born in Cambridge England to prog immigrants. He met his band mates while still in high school, resulting in a marriage to Mobbs to legitimize the team. Ted and Mobbs divorced after 38 years when Mobbs left the marriage for a young flight attendant. Ted is practical, sarcastic, easily angered, a follower of current events, and frequently the brunt of jokes about her supposed lack of attractiveness.
Zevon is a trainee moderator from Soho. Often naive and known for his humorously peculiar stories of life growing up in his hometown, Zevon was happily free from commitment before signing up to police a seedy corner of the Internet. He found work at a Chinese restaurant called Lee Ho Fook's, but later switches careers and served pina coladas to werewolves at Trader Vic's. In later seasons, Zevon becomes romantically involved with DERRINALPHIL, who is revealed to have been in the Witness Protection Program. Zevon is sweet, kind, and very competitive. Many of the jokes about Zevon focus on her perceived lack of intelligence.
fitzroybowiedog is a thin white duke, employed at an art museum. Born into a wealthy family, he grew up in ground control prior to him stepping through the door and floating in a most peculiar way. He is portrayed as self-absorbed and man-hungry, and yet, after Mobbs' departure, he still slept on his side of the bed and left the other side empty. He has four siblings, Mooch Runk 3KZ is Football and royboy2. Another brother of his, Elmer_Judd , is seen in the spin-off series called 'Suspension'. Many of the jokes about fitzroybowiedog focus on his promiscuity.
zackah is Ted's father. Born in Coney Island, he moved to Brunswick after fleeing an arranged marriage to Dinsdale. He married Wosh, with whom he had five children apart from Ted: Aristotle Pickett , tigs2010 Lore Barrels and JackNah_8. Initially a resident of the Shady Pines retirement home, he moved in with the others following a fire at the institution. zackah is portrayed as a quick-witted straight talker and a great cook.
DERRINALPHIL is Zevon's boyfriend from season five onwards. In season six, Phil reveals he is in the witness protection program and was a dentist for a mobster.
Mobbs was Ted's freeloading ex-husband. Mobbs left Ted to marry a young flight attendant, who later left him. Mobbs then hooked up with Tigerturbulance in season thirty four. Mobbs worked as an unsuccessful novelty Minecraft salesman until he became a successful entrepreneur by inventing qooty.
Allikat used to wave flags for a living, she now owes me a beer. _Mike_ does some stuff as well, idk.
The Gorilla Girls were popular back in the day, they had some success, they've had the wood on my Warriors until recently as much as the Beastie Boys have the wood for ladies of their vintage, but Father Time is having his way with them and their ranks are thinning. How long will it be before they shuffle off this virtual coil? Who know, but for now let's just enjoy their company before they pine for the fjords.
Roy, thank you for being a friend.
