Things only dumb footballers would do

[The wily weagle]

Jarrod Brander

31

Jarrod Brander

Age

25

Ht

195cm

Wt

92kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

10.3

3star

K

7.9

3star

HB

2.4

2star

M

4.9

5star

T

1.0

3star

CL

0.3

2star

D

12.3

3star

K

9.0

4star

HB

3.3

2star

M

5.8

5star

T

1.3

2star

CL

0.5

3star

D

9.6

3star

K

7.2

3star

HB

2.4

3star

M

4.2

4star

T

1.0

3star

CL

0.2

2star

:

Refuses a 2 year deal from West Coast and walks out on the club thinking that he will get more opportunities at GWS

West Coast last year have a crippling injury and COVID list, meaning, that had he stayed with us, he would have pretty much played every game

Gets desisted by GWS at the end of last year, after 1 year

 

[Angus Young]

Grow a marijuana crop in your front driveway.

Dave Granger.

 

[windyhill]

Cricketers are wannabe footballers so the sandpaper schemozzle where there are more cameras than you can point a camera at was breathtakingly thick.

 

[#23 Hill]

Stevie J breaking both his ankles after getting kicked out of a pub and trying to sneak back in by jumping off a wall.

 

[The 747]

At the age of 27, leave Melbourne to join WCE at the end of last year.

 

[HTPunter]

For mine its any player that does a low percentage play or breaks a golden rule under no pressure. Eg takes a mark, has time, and kicks across the defensive 50 to a contest/poor option or further to that, kicking to a contest in the corridor when they should be going down the line when their team is in front and they don't need to take a risk to win. Also if a player is 40m less from goal on a reasonable angle and instead of taking their shot, tries to hit up a short target.

The Patrick Dangerfield 1 in 30 shot from 65m out is my favourite. Or Kosi Pickett 50 out on the boundary set shot.

They nail it occasionally and the boys club applause comes. But all the times they’ve missed? Of course. It’s such a low percentage option.

 

[HTPunter]

Call for a 1 meter handball 10 meters from goal with no opponent nearby

Bonus points if you’re a senior player demanding it from a rookie and you get annoyed when they just kick the goal like they should, as taught in under 9s

 

[HTPunter]

When they set it up/kick from outside their range and it lands 2 meters out from goal which is an easy rushed behind.

If you can’t find a lead, Set it 15 meters out!! So when it lands it’s chaos and anyones ball.

WAY too many players don’t know their distance. They either hook it badly or set it to the goal line.

All these millions on coaching and not one coach has ever seemed to care in the modern game. It’s all defensive tactic, zone, set ups etc. How about increasing your chances of kicking a flipping goal when you have the ball anywhere within 60m of your goal?

Dumb dumb dumb.

 

[HTPunter]

One for the umps - let a player take 30 seconds from 70m out as their “set shot routine”. **** off, call play on, I don’t care if the player protests they were gonna have a crack, no you were not or you shouldn’t have anyway and the ump saved you from looking like a fool.

 

[Occidental]

Captain your club in a cut throat final interstate.
Win the toss.
Opt to kick AGAINST a howling gale in the first quarter.
Thirty minutes later… 8.1 to 1.1
Oops

 

[DragoDelph]

 

[living_in_syd]

Call for a 1 meter handball 10 meters from goal with no opponent nearby

Bonus points if you’re a senior player demanding it from a rookie and you get annoyed when they just kick the goal like they should, as taught in under 9s

Who was that? I cant see

 

[Black Panther]

Blaming your dog for breaking your hand

 

[powerrrrrrrrrrrr]

Going the around the corner kick from a 20m set shot straight in front and missing. Kick the drop punt, you’re directly in front!

 

[Wackajack]

Call for a 1 meter handball 10 meters from goal with no opponent nearby

Bonus points if you’re a senior player demanding it from a rookie and you get annoyed when they just kick the goal like they should, as taught in under 9s

Did this actually happen? Why does this look so fake?

 

[Goggin Our Best]

Was it Mac Namara of West Coast in a game years back at Subi against Geel - took the ball off the pack - had a bounce - but he went the wrong way - kicked it to Full forward for Geel and the Cats scored a goal

 

[James Colorado]

When they set it up/kick from outside their range and it lands 2 meters out from goal which is an easy rushed behind.

If you can’t find a lead, Set it 15 meters out!! So when it lands it’s chaos and anyones ball.

WAY too many players don’t know their distance. They either hook it badly or set it to the goal line.

All these millions on coaching and not one coach has ever seemed to care in the modern game. It’s all defensive tactic, zone, set ups etc. How about increasing your chances of kicking a *ing goal when you have the ball anywhere within 60m of your goal?

Dumb dumb dumb.

Please apply for a role with our forwards coach.

 

[vikingpimp]

List some things that only dumb footballers would do.

I'll start

- Lay on the footy with arms outstretched appealing to the umpire that you can't possibly do anything as if you aren't just sealing your own fate. Flail a bit, dummy.


- Dragging the footy back in. Why does any player do this. There is a reason your opponent will help you in your endeavour and then you are situation ****ed.

Extra points on these two if you do your best Scott brothers shocked face impression when you inevitably get pinged.


BONUS CONTENT: After this weekend, apply a bump. It isn't worth it. Plus, if your bump fails to actually unbalance your opponent you look like the world's biggest loser.


Over to you

In the case of dragging it back in, if you're in your defensive half, say 60-70m out, then it's a good defensive ploy because knocking it out is a low percentage play. Because the umpire takes ages to blow the whistle for HTB in these situations, even though everyone knows that will be the outcome, it gives the defensive team plenty of time to zone up or find their man, depending on how they've been coached to set up.

 

[Korol Mira]

Don't understand why tacklers go to ground along with the tackled player. Surely it's better to remain on your feet and try to wrestle the ball from the players grasp like a rugby jackal?

 

[Eshay187]

Stringer in the bottom right of this pic still cracks me up

 

[Bunk Moreland]

Jarrod Brander:

Refuses a 2 year deal from West Coast and walks out on the club thinking that he will get more opportunities at GWS

West Coast last year have a crippling injury and COVID list, meaning, that had he stayed with us, he would have pretty much played every game

Gets desisted by GWS at the end of last year, after 1 year

I think Ted Richards’ brother turned down a contract extension with Sydney because he wanted a better deal elsewhere.

Got no other offer, never played AFL footy again.

EDIT:

At the conclusion of 2016 season, he requested a trade from the Swans after failing to agree to terms for a new contract.[3]However, he was unable to find a club during the trade period and was subsequently delisted by the club less than four weeks after appearing in the 2016 AFL Grand Final.[4] He nominated for the AFL draft, but was not selected by any club.

 

[Strapping Young Lad]

I think Ted Richards’ brother turned down a contract extension with Sydney because he wanted a better deal elsewhere.

Got no other offer, never played AFL footy again.

EDIT:

At the conclusion of 2016 season, he requested a trade from the Swans after failing to agree to terms for a new contract.[3]However, he was unable to find a club during the trade period and was subsequently delisted by the club less than four weeks after appearing in the 2016 AFL Grand Final.[4] He nominated for the AFL draft, but was not selected by any club.

You might not have to look far to find the club that promised him the world and left him in limbo.

 

[Strapping Young Lad]

Tarryn Thomas

26

Tarryn Thomas

Age

24

Ht

190cm

Wt

83kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

11.0

3star

K

5.3

2star

HB

5.7

4star

M

2.1

2star

T

3.3

5star

CL

0.9

3star

D

7.8

2star

K

4.0

1star

HB

3.8

3star

M

1.3

1star

T

3.2

4star

CL

0.2

2star

D

12.8

4star

K

6.2

3star

HB

6.6

4star

M

2.8

3star

T

3.8

5star

CL

0.4

3star

should be in here.

Gets stood down after already getting training to not be a shit human as a consequence of a Club and AFL investigation, then continues to harass women and threaten their families via text.

Scum or dumb? Take your pick.

 

[Bunk Moreland]

You might not have to look far to find the club that promised him the world and left him in limbo.

Rubbish

 

[Dirty Bird]

How has Taylor Walker

13

Taylor Walker

Age

34

Ht

194cm

Wt

102kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

13.0

3star

K

9.0

3star

HB

4.0

3star

M

5.7

5star

T

1.6

4star

G

2.3

5star

No current season stats available

D

8.0

2star

K

6.4

3star

HB

1.6

2star

M

4.2

4star

T

1.6

4star

G

1.6

5star

not been mentioned in the first 2 pages