Wife gave my friend $15000 behind my back

[CuttlefishMcfly]

My wife gave my friend $15,000 behind my back from our joint account. She did it by taking cash out within a 6 month period and put it into his account. Now she confessed to me she did it.

Now he won't give the money back. What is the best thing to do ?

 

[Allikat]

Divorce your wife?

 

[DickieKnee]

Give Mick Gatto a call.

 

[raskolnikov]

Sorry but the onus isn't really on him to give it back if your wife was giving it to him. Legally you wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

 

[Kreuuuzeurns]

Ditch the missus.

 

[CuttlefishMcfly]

Divorce your wife?

Haven't divorced yet, I love my wife she said she got manipulated and felt sorry for him. We have been married for over 10 years so I don't want to just give this up.

 

[CuttlefishMcfly]

Ditch the missus.

That would be the most logical thing to do by outside looking in but the last 10 years has been great and I don't want to make a mistake and later regret it.

 

[Channels]

Probably more details needed on the how and why she got manipulated. What did your mate do with the money?

Unless there was any contract in writing with your (former) mate, no legal leg to stand on. I wouldn't go down the non-legal options, they eventually cause you more problems.

 

[CuttlefishMcfly]

Probably more details needed on the how and why she got manipulated. What did your mate do with the money?

Unless there was any contract in writing with your (former) mate, no legal leg to stand on. I wouldn't go down the non-legal options, they eventually cause you more problems.

She said that he was emotionally abusive and he made her feel like she had to give it or he would get abusive and she was scared.

There was no contract in writing so I know that I am screwed.

 

[Syd]

I want to be your new friend

Send pics of Mrs and $5000 down payment

 

[MisterB]

And this is a "friend" of yours? I know what I would be doing

 

[tenderwarrior]

And this is a "friend" of yours? I know what I would be doing

And what is that exactly?

 

[FRUMPY]

You didn't miss $15,000 go missing over time.....doesn't sound like you have much of a problem Mr Rich

Sounds like she was probably ****ing him and he blackmailed her

Sent from my CPH2005 using Tapatalk

 

[CuttlefishMcfly]

You didn't miss $15,000 go missing over time.....doesn't sound like you have much of a problem Mr Rich

Sounds like she was probably ******* him and he blackmailed her

Sent from my CPH2005 using Tapatalk

I trusted her so I never paid attention to the account. I am definitely not rich.

I am still trying to get to the bottom of what exactly happened. Before I make decisions with my emotions I want to get some rational advice from multiple sources or from someone who had a similar situation... From family, friends, lawyers and bigfooty members...

 

[Big Sauce 21]

I wont even buy my sibling a can of coke

 

[CuttlefishMcfly]

I wont even buy my sibling a can of coke

Same here I won't ever give money to anyone but what she did really broke my heart. I trusted her and I never thought this would ever happen to me. All my life I've been really trusting.

 

[HahnPremium]

Before I make decisions with my emotions I want to get some rational advice from multiple sources bigfooty members...

 

[CuttlefishMcfly]

The bigfooty community sometimes might be not renowned for their wisdom and perspicacity but it has helped me a lot in the past... I got over my alcohol addiction and built up a successful business because of a advice someone from bigfooty told me over 10 years ago.

 

[brutus76]

Ask for control of the books

 

[mr bagcroft]

If you dont divorce her..
She NEVER again has any access to any accounts, ever.
Give her a set amount of money per week and thats it.
ANY access to any money has been revoked.
Oh,..and I would get a bit more sexy action out of it as well, but thats just me.

 

[revo333]

If you dont divorce her..
She NEVER again has any access to any accounts, ever.
Give her a set amount of money per week and thats it.
ANY access to any money has been revoked.
Oh,..and I would get a bit more sexy action out of it as well, but thats just me.

This sounds good to me until you get the full story of what happened, the truth will come out eventually.

And surely this friend is not a friend anymore? if he is some kind of threat i'd block him on all social media and maybe get new phone numbers.

 

[Kappa]

She said that he was emotionally abusive and he made her feel like she had to give it or he would get abusive and she was scared.

There was no contract in writing so I know that I am screwed.

Take it to court if she felt threatened into giving him money.

This is also an extremely serious betrayal to you, if someone was abusing her why didn't she tell you? If she can hide this, is she hiding anything else? Tell her you want to go through her phone and emails (if you haven't already) to see if you can rebuild the trust.

 

[kickazz]

It's a big breach of trust, but her confessing instead of finding out in other ways makes a difference.

First step would be to ensure you have bank accounts under control so that large amounts cannot be withdrawn without both signing or something like that.

Then find out if the recipient can repay and try to work something out there. If not perhaps legal avenues regarding his behaviour might help, but $15000 though a significant amount might not be enough to pursue lawyers about it etc.

Then there is your relationship which you say is worth saving. Tell her that. Say you will support her through this but on her end she needs to show she can be trusted again, how will she do this?

Might help to involve an independent counsellor too, you don't want this to turn into a "he's financially abusing me" scenario.

 

[craigos]

My wife gave my friend $15,000 behind my back from our joint account. She did it by taking cash out within a 6 month period and put it into his account. Now she confessed to me she did it.

Now he won't give the money back. What is the best thing to do ?

Go see a Lawyer asap. If you're not well off then make an appointment at your local Community Law/Legal Centre.

Might be as simple as them drafting a letter which could be enough to scare your "friend" into making arrangements to repay the money or as serious as him being charged with an offence - if there was any threats then this could well be the case.

Before you go make sure you have as much information and correspondence between all parties as you can put together.

 

[Mofra]

I want to be your new friend

Send pics of Mrs and $5000 down payment

The word 'divorce' was posted above and all of your Bigfooty alerts went off?