Banter Write Dwayne Russell's most predictable material for Saints games

[austinnn]

I dont really think these are great, but i need to just get them out of my system because I know they are coming.

Feel free to add with any Saints players, you can add ones he's actually done already if you like.



Lance Collard is tackled: "And Lance is collared."

Hugo Garcia handballs to a team-mate streaming forward: "Hugo says 'no, you go'."

Angus Hastie does some defensive running back: "Angus beats a hasty retreat."

 

[George]

Arie lays the ScHoE iNtO iT

 

[Saintos The ITK]

Angus plays to a lead.

 

[Joffaboy]

If I hear 'Owens the Saint goes Marching in' one more time, I will sick up.

On SM-S908E using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[austinnn]

"Garcia says 'See Ya!'"

 

[Saintos The ITK]

In 15 years time when triple premiership player Darcy gets offered a 1 year contract.
Wilson is a survivor.

 

[saint66au]

He. Is. The KING of Marvel Stadium..

 

[austinnn]

He. Is. The KING of Marvel Stadium..

Oh god, I can hear his voice with that inflection and the over-baked drama!

 

[JG22]

Lancey will get the 'this kids got some tricks'

 

[joydivision22]

Collard with the DANCE STEP.. kicks to Wilson (goals from goal square) DR: The stakes have just risen!

 

[Joffaboy]

Angus plays to a lead.

Angus stakes his life on that play.

On SM-S908E using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[austinnn]

After Nas dominates a game: "St Kilda are justifying their Nasiah complex!"

Hammer goals: "Caminiti says 'come and beat me!'"

Henry soccers it through: "Is that Liam Henry or Thierry Henry?"

Keeler scores: "Isaac lands the Keeler blow!"

Hotton gets caught in a tackle: "Billings just stopped Hotton cold!"

 

[austinnn]

Cooper scores: "The Sharman with another hit - 'E's a good player, is Cooper!"

Paddy Dow

15

Paddy Dow

Age

25

Ht

184cm

Wt

83kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

14.1

4star

K

7.0

3star

HB

7.1

4star

M

2.1

2star

T

2.9

4star

CL

2.6

4star

D

7.0

1star

K

4.0

1star

HB

3.0

2star

M

3.0

3star

T

2.0

3star

CL

0.0

1star

D

12.4

4star

K

5.8

3star

HB

6.6

4star

M

1.6

2star

T

2.8

5star

CL

2.6

5star

tackles a player and wins a free kick: "Paddy takes Essendon Dow-town!"

 

[BigMonty]

Langford caught in no man's land as Battle goes in a new direction.

Nasiah just proved with that kick he's the new Mesiah for Saints fans.

Oh Maxxy you are the King of StKilda.

Dow to Jones gees these Saints stocks are rising.

Wood Dow Wilson that's all the President's men right there.

Stockers stacking up the stats back there.

Owens hollers for a Marshall and Rowan doesn't let him down.

Wood ducks out the back for the easiest of goals.

Butler serves it up to the King as you would expect.

Higgins Higgins rides him like Roy used to do.

On SM-S916B using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[Billy Shaw]

"That long goal from Riley has given his teammates a Bonner!"

"And Higgins rides that through for a goal!"

"Wanganeen-Milera is truly the second coming of the Nasiah!"

"The saints have found their thrill with Bradley Hill!"

 

[st_trav_ofWA]

oh hes good ... hes scary good ....

that would have blown the roof off the place ....
------------------------------

Derwayne : The stocks are rising... Stocker drills it down the wing that was crazy good Derm...
Dermut: yes well Derwayn that was a very intuitive play by that young stocker certainly with some seasoned knowledge about that kick, he has taken that time to assess the situation and ask him self should this kick go there or would it be more damaging if it was to go in the less direct option opening up that whole side of the ground its a rare skill to view the game like that guys like sam mitchell or Luke hodge had that in spades just the ability to know what option is the best one to take it cant be taught that ist an instictive thing that comes naturally to some players how either have it or they dont .. a bit like Chance Bateman

Chance Bateman

Age

43

Ht

175cm

Wt

75kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

15.1

4star

K

8.8

3star

HB

6.3

4star

M

3.9

4star

T

2.1

4star

CL

1.1

3star

No current season stats available

D

18.6

5star

K

11.0

4star

HB

7.6

5star

M

4.6

5star

T

2.8

5star

CL

1.2

4star

in 2008 and in those great hawthorn sides of the 80s where they just knew what to do in that situation iits a very important skill to have.....
Derwayne : Thanks derm ... in case you just joined us the games gone up a notch

 

[BigMonty]

In case you listened to Derm, the final siren has just gone and the players are walking off the field. Think we will throw back to the studio, final result....what was it....who ****ing won...Derm who cares who ****ing Chance Bateman

Chance Bateman

Age

43

Ht

175cm

Wt

75kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

15.1

4star

K

8.8

3star

HB

6.3

4star

M

3.9

4star

T

2.1

4star

CL

1.1

3star

No current season stats available

D

18.6

5star

K

11.0

4star

HB

7.6

5star

M

4.6

5star

T

2.8

5star

CL

1.2

4star

is hes most likely in jail these days if he's a friend of yours.... your switch option explanation ramble that ends as always nowhere with no definitive outcome or conclusion and yet again that's another 30 minutes I will never get back... you skinny calfed twat. Wish Graeme Yates had hit you harder...bloody pussy he is.


On SM-S916B using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[st_trav_ofWA]

In case you listened to Derm, the final siren has just gone and the players are walking off the field. Think we will throw back to the studio, final result....what was it....who ******* won...Derm who cares who ******* Chance Bateman is hes most likely in jail these days if he's a friend of yours.... your switch option explanation ramble that ends as always nowhere with no definitive outcome or conclusion and yet again that's another 30 minutes I will never get back... you skinny calfed twat. Wish Graeme Yates had hit you harder...bloody pussy he is.


On SM-S916B using BigFooty.com mobile app

its a little known fact but Derm get paid by the word thats why he can just get to the point ... he also gets paid by the length of the comment so he will deliberatly talk slower with paused for effect regardless of the situation it is alos in his contract he is to pull that kissy face pout at the end of each chain of 9 words ....

strange thing is he wrote that clause into his contract himself

 

[Dr Spaceman]