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Look, I've been really desperate and pathetic before; like so low I've sold my pubes to a wig maker to pay for my Bath Salts habit after flushing my life down the shitter chasing teenage trim! But even compared to me, you're a real piece of shit you cousin rooting degenerate! #TootToot!

I'M ALREADY ON MY WAY DONT START WITHOUT ME!

Hey Gawnskie, I believe royals took a job with Collin's Thesaurus where he's spearheading a new division dedicated to creating new synonyms for sore anus! Will he be back?! I'm certain he's lurking right now, crying into his turnip juice as we speak... Mmmm I love Burkina Faso! It's that...

Looks like I've got my next application to appear on Saturday Night Live covered! I'm coming for you Dane Cook! RICKY'S BACK BABY! #TootToot!

Send me your email, I'll mail you out one of my free* loyalty club cards where your tenth hand-shandy is half price! And for an extra $3 I'll even let you spit in my mouth afterwards!

You are what you eat! #TootToot!

No son of mine would do the polio diet! Of course I'd welcome him back into the family in exchange for a hot meal! Or a meal that was once hot! Or any kind of food really! Even raw pasta! Seriously, I'd even eat decorative bath soaps! #TootToot!

Well Furfie, you'd be forgiven for thinking that Basil had a mouth like a Dyson vacuum cleaner and it was responsible for his meteoric rise within the media. But funnily enough, it's not. It's actually his abnormally large nose which is the perfect length to "milk the prostate" whilst he...

Oh you sonofabitch! Where's that Chief, the most stable genius, campaigner?! I specifically stated that I would not have any mentions Grant Denyer during this interview or I'd walk off! But still get paid of course! I'm definitely still getting paid regardless of what charges may arise from this foray into the public eye...

Only one of us is on the ASIO watch list for acts of terror against domesticated animals. #TootToot!

Well Mr Redbreast69, I think they should, but not on the footy field! They should make women who have "the painters in" wear them when they're in a night club so us punters know when they're off limits! #TootToot!

Can I answer your question with a question? Did you school really good?! Oh sick burn! There's no coming back from that one! #TootToot!

Great question, Mr Divvypoos. The dirt is... wait for it... A really nice young lady. #TootToot!

Who do I think the worst elias ever - I'd go with OldSeaman, Lemur_ or that other shitty Hawthorn one of yours you post with, Shitdiki! #TootToot!

Apologies for the delay! No that was all an elaborate set up, I was never even in the same room as Dim Kunthie! Mr Fat Cat Andy D thought that I was getting too successful and wanted to cut me down a peg, so he hired the world's greatest sh00pers oogac and Benwah83 to sh00p into some pics of...

Great question Mr Starsparkles! Well, little does everyone know that the actual chicken video was made with a portion of Mrs Boomer's feeding materials. You see, Denis Pagan actually use to lower a whole chook on the end of a fishing rod down into her enclosure and into her enormous gullet so...

Well Mr Freofelcher, it can be any number of things. But, if you're an open-minded free spirit like me that refuses to wear raincoats regardless of how infected the terrain may appear, then it's because you've probably got the chlamydia. Sure, it's not ideal, but it's beats the time I had such a...

Listen Jose, I'll tell you the same thing Marissa Cooper told Ryan Atwood when he tried to go the dirt-track on his first night in The OC; **** off! #TootToot!

Hey there Cocklunch, I think it's because the staff at Big Footy recognise that I'm one of those ******s that keeps it real. And in light of the fact that I'm still representing gangstas all across the world, and still hitting them corners in those low-lows girl, that they keep my grill as fresh...

Hmmm, good question. Bomber is different than your average schlub in that he was born without a gag reflex, and can deep-throat and entire cabinossi without so much as a battering of an eyelid! I remember one time when away on an end of season trip, I bet Bomber $50 that he couldn't eat 8...

Hey guys! My publicist (the homeless guy named Crazy Eyes Jeffrey who shares a storm drain with me) thought it'd be a great idea to get my gorgeous face out there before I start my next run of tour dates for my brand new and improved comedy show: "If It Tastes Like Chicken, Keep on Lickin'!"...

So do we vote for whom we want to win, or boot off this time?

Jury question? Is that the service thing as when the public prosecutor asked me why I was having sex with a bag of marshmallows in aisle 6 at Costco?

Jury question Dear Benwah83 and DapperJong, If you could create world peace by blowing a rabid dog, would you do so?! I don't mean a simple lick, you'd have to cup the balls, stroke the shift, work the pipe and swallow the gravy! I eagerly await your answer... *zip* #TootToot!

Are you trying to put me out of business you filthy little turd ****?! You'll shortly be receiving a strongly worded letter* from my lawyer** to cease and desist on encroaching on my hand-shandy territory! I hope you're willing to make a large and quick settlement***! #TootToot! *nunchucks to...

I'll tell you campaigners the same thing I told the AFLPA: You can't fire me! I quit! (But can you please fire me so I can collect the severance package and apply for the dole immediately?) Luckily I've got my stand up comedy, best selling author, Uncle Ricky's Pubes Be Gone Cream, Dr Ricky's...

Ricky done been jipped :thumbsd:

That little fairy sonofabitch is trying to move in on my hand-shandy territoy?! I'll kill that scum! #TootToot

Challenge #13 Entry Convo 1: Convo 2: Convo 3:

Challenge #12 Entry