Ask Ricky Anything

[TootToot!]

Hey guys!

My publicist (the homeless guy named Crazy Eyes Jeffrey who shares a storm drain with me) thought it'd be a great idea to get my gorgeous face out there before I start my next run of tour dates for my brand new and improved comedy show: "If It Tastes Like Chicken, Keep on Lickin'!"

So I've decided to do a no holds barred, free* for all Q & A where you can ask any question you like to the greatest ever superstar player manager! No not ****ing Liam Pickering you grubs! Me, Ricky! And I'll give you all the inside goss on whatever you wannak know that's lingering in the slimy AFL underbelly!

So like I told the Nick Riewoldt when he threatened to give me the sack for conduct unbecoming of a player manager - fire away! And I'll do my best to answer all questions in a timely manner - on the proviso that I can get access to the YMCA communal PC that is!

#TootToot!




*$295.95 PP + P&H

 

[Hawk Dork]

What makes Bomber giggle?

 

[Packedlunch]

Why are you still listed as a debutant after 3 years Ricky?

 

[TootToot!]

What makes Bomber giggle?

Hmmm, good question. Bomber is different than your average schlub in that he was born without a gag reflex, and can deep-throat and entire cabinossi without so much as a battering of an eyelid! I remember one time when away on an end of season trip, I bet Bomber $50 that he couldn't eat 8 rohypnol in under 30 seconds! Let's just say not only did I leave that camping trip $50 lighter, but I also ended my 7 month dry spell!

Next question!

#TootToot

 

[JoseMourinho]

How good was your Chicken Dinner last night?

 

[TootToot!]

Why are you still listed as a debutant after 3 years Ricky?

Hey there Cocklunch, I think it's because the staff at Big Footy recognise that I'm one of those ******s that keeps it real. And in light of the fact that I'm still representing gangstas all across the world, and still hitting them corners in those low-lows girl, that they keep my grill as fresh as fish grease! Ya dig, cracker?!

#TootToot!

 

[TootToot!]

How good was your Chicken Dinner last night?

Listen Jose, I'll tell you the same thing Marissa Cooper told Ryan Atwood when he tried to go the dirt-track on his first night in The OC; **** off!

#TootToot!

 

[JoseMourinho]

Listen Jose, I'll tell you the same thing Marissa Cooper told Ryan Atwood when he tried to go the dirt-track on his first night in The OC; **** off!

#TootToot!

So it was undercooked? Duly noted.

 

[Freofalcon]

Why does it burn when I pee ?

 

[TootToot!]

Why does it burn when I pee ?

Well Mr Freofelcher, it can be any number of things. But, if you're an open-minded free spirit like me that refuses to wear raincoats regardless of how infected the terrain may appear, then it's because you've probably got the chlamydia. Sure, it's not ideal, but it's beats the time I had such a painful bout of the gonorrhea that I could've sworn I had slept the night with my dick inside a toaster set to crumpet!

#TootToot!

 

[KardiniaPark]

Why does it burn when I pee ?

You have your cigarette in the wrong hand.

 

[Morganashlee]

You have your cigarette in the wrong hand.

I hate when that happens

 

[Starburns_]

Ricky, Boomer Harvey revealed this week that Norf paid hush money to women during the Carey era. What was covered up by these payments, and more importantly, how did Norf afford them?

 

[maryjames]

Surely this goes straight to the divvy

 

[RedVest4]

Ricky, should they bring back the red vest?

 

[TootToot!]

Ricky, Boomer Harvey revealed this week that Norf paid hush money to women during the Carey era. What was covered up by these payments, and more importantly, how did Norf afford them?

Great question Mr Starsparkles! Well, little does everyone know that the actual chicken video was made with a portion of Mrs Boomer's feeding materials. You see, Denis Pagan actually use to lower a whole chook on the end of a fishing rod down into her enclosure and into her enormous gullet so she would stop eating the local villagers when she would escape her enclosure within the evenings! Now to stop the villagers pursuing any sort of legal action we paid them off with lots of shiny gems to ensure their silence! How did we afford that you ask? Well they were only fugazis of course, but those simpleton fisherman villagers wouldn't know their arseh*le from their elbow!

#TootToot!

 

[DaVillaBlues]

What's the dirt about Kellie S and other Norf players that you mentioned briefly on your Facebook page a few months ago ???

 

[Yidaki]

Worst elias ever.

 

[TootToot!]

Did you cream pie Duthie you sick campaigner?

Apologies for the delay!

No that was all an elaborate set up, I was never even in the same room as Dim Kunthie! Mr Fat Cat Andy D thought that I was getting too successful and wanted to cut me down a peg, so he hired the world's greatest sh00pers oogac and Benwah83 to sh00p into some pics of me snorting lines out of her arse crack!

Like a phoenix I will rise from the ashes!

Have you got any spare change?

Surely this goes straight to the divvy

Obviously not, ****-knuckle!

#TootToot!

 

[TootToot!]

Worst elias ever.

Who do I think the worst elias ever - I'd go with OldSeaman, Lemur_ or that other shitty Hawthorn one of yours you post with, Shitdiki!

#TootToot!

 

[maryjames]

When Gary Snr punch you up did you cry?

 

[TootToot!]

What's the dirt about Kellie S and other Norf players that you mentioned briefly on your Facebook page a few months ago ???

Great question, Mr Divvypoos. The dirt is... wait for it... A really nice young lady.

#TootToot!

 

[Yidaki]

Who do I think the worst elias ever - I'd go with OldSeaman, Lemur_ or that other shitty Hawthorn one of yours you post with, Shitdiki!

#TootToot!

Can confirm. All those are Packedlunch s

 

[TootToot!]

When Gary Snr punch you up did you cry?

Can I answer your question with a question? Did you school really good?!

Oh sick burn! There's no coming back from that one!

#TootToot!

 

[NorthernLights]

Worst elias ever.

It's no Heroic_Hodgey