Health ADHD Discussions & Supporting Group Thread

[GremioPower]

So, talking with Cubs2Lions and DemurePrincess on the SFA Forum, we thought it might be good to start a thread on the subject. I’ll begin talking about me.

—

I'm 43 (44, in a couple of weeks). I was diagnosed 10 years ago, while struggling with a PhD in a foreign country with wife and two young kids. Up to that point, I had been able to overcome my shortcomings. All my mistakes ended up being amusing, although they always hurt a bit.

I failed in the PhD. I have abandoned Academia. I don't know what to do with my life since. I work in a job I'm not good at, but I'm unfireable, because it's a family business. Still, one can imagine what it does to my self-steem. Add up that my wife and kids don't like the city we live in, and the last decade has been a never-ending nightmare. From the outside, it all seems great. However, I know it's not. I feel like a waste.

I grew up as a mystery to teachers. My grades were all over the place. I would go relatively well with exams, but I couldn't get the "easy grades". I would give a good first impression, just to screw it all with some stupidity no long after. The activities that "any monkey would do" would always be the worst. No one seemed to understand how that could be possible.

I currently take Venvanse 70mg everyday. My oldest son is ADHD as well. I see all the great and all the bad things of me in him, and it's both awesome and scary. I didn't have many friends. He has any. It gets better in college, but he's still 3 years away from it. I wish I could help him, but I have my own demons to deal with first.

 

[DemurePrincess]

Omg! I absolutely love this!

A place to dump my scattered thoughts without judgment!

Thanks lads

 

[Spirit Level]

I definitely have it, although not nearly as bad as I used to.

If studies haven't already been done I think they should look at medicinal marijuana as a treatment, definitely lessened the severity of my ADHD during my uni years IMO

 

[DemurePrincess]

Oh I definitely have it. I’m the kind of person that will start one task. Walk past something. Start another task go back to the first task as I passed the first task. I see another task start that task so while I’m doing that task. I see something else and then start that task so I go back to the first task and thr 2nd and the 3rd task and the 4th task and try and do some of that and finish them off but then I find the 7th, 8th and 9th task and I start them
As well. So by the time you know I’ve had a few hours past. I got about 10 task going on And then I start panicking and stressing because oh my God time is running out. I need to get these tasks done but by the end of the day I do have them all done and complete perfectly to how I want them but yet I’m full of stress. I put myself into a ****ing panic mode.

Medication would sort that shit right out

 

[GremioPower]

I definitely have it, although not nearly as bad as I used to.

If studies haven't already been done I think they should look at medicinal marijuana as a treatment, definitely lessened the severity of my ADHD during my uni years IMO

I take Venvanse to “unhigh”, actually. The effect on me would be bad. It’s already my natural state.

ADHD doesn’t seem to be one thing. It’s not a disease, for sure. It’s “characteristics”. There are common traits, but there are distinctions as well.

 

[Cubs2Lions]

It's always nice to here stories out there from other people with similar trials and tribulations as one has currently been in my whole life and hopefully this thread will be a support reach for many people.

I'm 23 and even though I don't have a formal ADD/ADHD diagnosis (as of 2024), I have always struggled with focus, concentration and inattentiveness with study and work. While primary school was a complete breeze (as it is for everyone), high school would be the start of my problems with these issues.

• Trying to stay focused and concentrated in classes and remember all the information that I was told wouldn't work and would be non-existent for me as distractions galore or fidgeting would get in the way.
• Doing any homework would be a complete struggle for me daily as a 1 hr task would take 3-4 hrs before having 0% confidence in what I produced and be constantly of dread of self-doubt.
• Revising and completing exams would give me nightmares constantly for me as I would study every day but struggle to pass. This caused myself to cheat in most of my exams in Yr 11 / 12 without anyone knowing until now.

Once high school was done with, I have tried to complete some TAFE studies with mixed success as last year went swimmingly well as a AHA before placement hit me and failed the whole thing as a result (was shattered that whole weekend afterwards). Nowadays, I study sport development in the hope of becoming a PE teacher but my studies and confidence has had an all-time low still given my struggles of studying and not having any sort of time management within in and I really have struggled to put on a brave face in recent times in face of the trouble.

However, maybe in the past couple of days, I have come to the realisation that no matter what I do in life (study or work), it is my brain and symptoms causing me to suffer but maybe it's the right time to seek the appropriate help regarding those issues before my life is wasted away.

The one thing that has kept me sane throughout my journey in life is sport and without that, I wouldn't know where I would be without it as it was my only escape out of classes and school as a child. I've been very fortunate to have so many memories with friends and have some really cool experiences at a decent level of performance in so many sports such as cricket, AFL, soccer, basketball, tennis & handball and hopefully I'll continue to have some more fun times ahead.

As well as sport being a constant force in my life, I've also love being outdoors constantly and being on the move, listening to all types of music regularly to distract me from my inner self's issues and self-doubt and love being around with friends even if I find myself more losing them than gaining them these days.

Anyways, I went off talking about my whole life again even though that wasn't the plan it seems after 2 hrs of writing and I'm not going to read what I wrote either so I apologise for any grammar errors in whatever this post. Just wanted to let y'all know that they are not alone in life and that you are amazing just the way you are as well as knowing that there is always support out there for you to reach out.

Hopefully someday I'll update with my possible diagnosis journey out there (when the time does come).

 

[DemurePrincess]

I take Venvanse to “unhigh”, actually. The effect on me would be bad. It’s already my natural state.

ADHD doesn’t seem to be one thing. It’s not a disease, for sure. It’s “characteristics”. There are common traits, but there are distinctions as well.

I think this is what I need to do bc I live my life on a constant high!

I am however a massive advocate for medicinal marijuana. I smoke it everyday to keep the crazy in check!

And I don’t mean crazy crazy! It keeps the storm in my head at bay! I’m a very positive person but if I allow one ounce of negativity in, it snowballs into something I ****ing hate so avoid that feeling at all costs.

 

[DemurePrincess]

I’m 49 and undiagnosed ADHD! I know I’m different. I know I act different and I know I feel and react different! But this is me! I wouldn’t want to be anyone else, maybe a better version if medication will help!

Ive always strived to be normal. To be like the other kids. To be like my work colleagues. To be able to stand with the parents at school instead of wanting to be out playing with the kids.

I struggled terribly at school. I had only 10 percent hearing so that didn’t start my schooling off to a great start. The teachers thought I was ignorant until they discovered I couldn’t hear shit. I had grommets put in place so fixed that issue but by then I was already behind. I also am dyslexic so even writing this is a chore bc I need to check and re check it and there will always be a mistake still. So that didn’t help matters.

School never clicked with me. They say it should or will but it never did. I loved school though, I loved playing sport and that kept my mind active. I enjoyed home ec and graded in the top 5% in Qld. I went to state for swimming, long jump and cross country! I played competitive touch, netball, basketball and any other sport that didn’t make me sit in the class room.

My academic side failed big time but I covered it up well with how popular I was. Nobody knew just how dumb I was and how much I struggle. I would sit in class looking at the teacher and thinking.. what language is this!
Im visual learner. I need diagrams and pictures and I need to retold like 10 times before instructions sink in.

If there is one thing I would change about myself is the fact I tell people I’m dumb before they know my name. I would rather prepare the stupid shit that comes out of my mouth.

But I am forever selling myself short. I am a single mum. I have my own cleaning business and have had that for 9 years. Before that I was a croupier for 10 years. Now if you thought speaking and literacy was hard, I struggled with maths too so being in a job my parents applied for me for was a nightmare. The last year of my croupier career I was mugged leaving work and it sent me spiralling. That last year of the Casino I had 87 sick days in one year. The combination of all of this stuff sent me to a super dark place but like I said. I only strive for happiness and acceptance. I just want to fit in.

But it always came back to ‘not feeling normal’ - like everyone else!

I desperately want to see if medication will turn this around. I’m 50 next year and have a lot of life left in me so why not make it some quality instead of a constant struggle

 

[DemurePrincess]

It's always nice to here stories out there from other people with similar trials and tribulations as one has currently been in my whole life and hopefully this thread will be a support reach for many people.

I'm 23 and even though I don't have a formal ADD/ADHD diagnosis (as of 2024), I have always struggled with focus, concentration and inattentiveness with study and work. While primary school was a complete breeze (as it is for everyone), high school would be the start of my problems with these issues.

• Trying to stay focused and concentrated in classes and remember all the information that I was told wouldn't work and would be non-existent for me as distractions galore or fidgeting would get in the way.
• Doing any homework would be a complete struggle for me daily as a 1 hr task would take 3-4 hrs before having 0% confidence in what I produced and be constantly of dread of self-doubt.
• Revising and completing exams would give me nightmares constantly for me as I would study every day but struggle to pass. This caused myself to cheat in most of my exams in Yr 11 / 12 without anyone knowing until now.

Once high school was done with, I have tried to complete some TAFE studies with mixed success as last year went swimmingly well as a AHA before placement hit me and failed the whole thing as a result (was shattered that whole weekend afterwards). Nowadays, I study sport development in the hope of becoming a PE teacher but my studies and confidence has had an all-time low still given my struggles of studying and not having any sort of time management within in and I really have struggled to put on a brave face in recent times in face of the trouble.

However, maybe in the past couple of days, I have come to the realisation that no matter what I do in life (study or work), it is my brain and symptoms causing me to suffer but maybe it's the right time to seek the appropriate help regarding those issues before my life is wasted away.

The one thing that has kept me sane throughout my journey in life is sport and without that, I wouldn't know where I would be without it as it was my only escape out of classes and school as a child. I've been very fortunate to have so many memories with friends and have some really cool experiences at a decent level of performance in so many sports such as cricket, AFL, soccer, basketball, tennis & handball and hopefully I'll continue to have some more fun times ahead.

As well as sport being a constant force in my life, I've also love being outdoors constantly and being on the move, listening to all types of music regularly to distract me from my inner self's issues and self-doubt and love being around with friends even if I find myself more losing them than gaining them these days.

Anyways, I went off talking about my whole life again even though that wasn't the plan it seems after 2 hrs of writing and I'm not going to read what I wrote either so I apologise for any grammar errors in whatever this post. Just wanted to let y'all know that they are not alone in life and that you are amazing just the way you are as well as knowing that there is always support out there for you to reach out.

Hopefully someday I'll update with my possible diagnosis journey out there (when the time does come).

You need to find that thing you really enjoy.. turn it into your livelihood!

My careers have gone from tour guides, bar attendant, swim teachers, croupier, hotel manager, strip club manager and I now have my own cleaning business and out of all of those.. the last job is my fave bc I don’t have it answer to anyone bar me. I can work at my own pace and my standards are so high that not even my clients can reach them hence why I’ve never needed to advertise.

I tell my daughter even day that having ADHD is not an anchor! Embrace it! Bc what we fail at, we excel elsewhere!

And I’m okay with that!

 

[GremioPower]

Medication would sort that shit right out

There’s no magic pill. It helps, but it doesn’t solve anything. The bad habits still rule.

 

[GremioPower]

I’m a very positive person but if I allow one ounce of negativity in, it snowballs into something I ****ing hate so avoid that feeling at all costs.

Before marriage, the end of the year was painful. I hated it. It felt fake, fabricated, hypocritical. My wife and her family changed all that (and I am Catholic; they are actually atheists). I don’t have issues with Christmas and New Year’s anymore.

I am still not fond of Summertime and beaches, but I face them. Marriage is compromise.

 

[GremioPower]

If there is one thing I would change about myself is the fact I tell people I’m dumb before they know my name. I would rather prepare the stupid shit that comes out of my mouth.

But I am forever selling myself short.

I don’t know if it’s ADHD, but I’m similar.

 

[DemurePrincess]

There’s no magic pill. It helps, but it doesn’t solve anything. The bad habits still rule.

But it declutters some of the distractions right. Like invisible blinkers??

That’s what I’ve heard! I didnt think it was a cure just an addition. Like I take migraine preventatives for migraines

 

[DemurePrincess]

I don’t know if it’s ADHD, but I’m similar.

Nah that’s the dyslexia part.

 

[DemurePrincess]

Before marriage, the end of the year was painful. I hated it. It felt fake, fabricated, hypocritical. My wife and her family changed all that (and I am Catholic; they are actually atheists). I don’t have issues with Christmas and New Year’s anymore.

I am still not fond of Summertime and beaches, but I face them. Marriage is compromise.

I ended a marriage with a narcissist nearly 2 years ago bc I was forever called dumb plus many other pleasant things… guess it ended up sticking!

It’s funny how some people raise you up and others just want to cut you down!

 

[Cubs2Lions]

You need to find that thing you really enjoy.. turn it into your livelihood!

My careers have gone from tour guides, bar attendant, swim teachers, croupier, hotel manager, strip club manager and I now have my own cleaning business and out of all of those.. the last job is my fave bc I don’t have it answer to anyone bar me. I can work at my own pace and my standards are so high that not even my clients can reach them hence why I’ve never needed to advertise.

I tell my daughter even day that having ADHD is not an anchor! Embrace it! Bc what we fail at, we excel elsewhere!

And I’m okay with that!

I think that's what I'm trying to do now in studying sport and one day becoming a PE teacher but even studying that can be quite the challenge and I know it's gonna be a mad rush to the finish line in completing that Diploma on time as I have wasted too much time already and feeling like I'm in a slow-mo car crash to the end.

Maybe the other factor that is why I am the person I am is because I can be way too hard on myself all the time and scared of failing as I always want to be as successful as my parents and while they understand my shortcomings, being unable to study or finish something productive per say really hurts internally and makes me feel more of a failure and problem especially as my extended family members don't have anything to do with me anyways (that's a complete different story).

But gotta stay positive in the face of it all and keep on trying in life (and getting help). While I might struggle with probable inattentive-ADHD, I know there are people out there who are in a worse situation as me in the world that might have a more worse diagnosis or don't even have food / water or house under their head right now.

Maybe that's my issue though, I care about the world than I do myself so I really be kinder to myself (and stop watching the news and reading social media).

 

[The Sultan]

finally got diagnosed ADHA, and high functioning autism, a few months ago. The Physc said he knew within 5 minutes.

I did a bit of my own research and knew i ticked all the boxes, but just did the male thing of putting it off.

on the happy pills vyvance (30mg) and slowly getting used to my brain not functioning at either top gear or in reverse. probably not good news for Chief as i now spend less time on BF when i should be working.

 

[MWPP]

Thank you for the thread and to everyone in here for sharing their stories

I don't have ADHD. However I do work with kids and teens who have it so understand the impact and also the challenges with the system, the waiting times for a diagnosis etc better than most.

I saw this book at an airport bookshop and got it from the library not long after with the aim of understanding some of my older patients (and many of the parents of my patients) better. It was great and I recommend it to anyone who wonders if they have it, are recently diagnosed, or have a loved one with it.

The Year I Met My Brain

Buy The Year I Met My Brain, A travel companion for adults who have just found out they have ADHD by Matilda Boseley from Booktopia. Get a discounted Paperback from Australia's leading online bookstore.

www.booktopia.com.au

 

[DemurePrincess]

finally got diagnosed ADHA, and high functioning autism, a few months ago. The Physc said he knew within 5 minutes.

I did a bit of my own research and knew i ticked all the boxes, but just did the male thing of putting it off.

on the happy pills vyvance (30mg) and slowly getting used to my brain not functioning at either top gear or in reverse. probably not good news for Chief as i now spend less time on BF when i should be working.

I need to hear all these things to keep me motivated to follow it through.. I’ve always just brushed it under the carpet and hoped tomorrow would be a better day xx

You have no idea how happy and hopeful it makes me xx

 

[DemurePrincess]

I just wish the wait to see someone who could actually change the quality of my life wasn’t so long… that’s where the motivation hits speed jumps constantly and then I tend to just… meh! Deal with it tomorrow.

I’m 49 now. I need to stop doing that

 

[The Sultan]

I just wish the wait to see someone who could actually change the quality of my life wasn’t so long… that’s where the motivation hits speed jumps constantly and then I tend to just… meh! Deal with it tomorrow.

I’m 49 now. I need to stop doing that

I went the private route was out of pocket approx $900. Was about 2 month wait to get in, if your in melb pm me and can give you my phyc who specialises in adult adhd. Just need to ask GP for referral

 

[DemurePrincess]

I went the private route was out of pocket approx $900. Was about 2 month wait to get in, if your in melb pm me and can give you my phyc who specialises in adult adhd. Just need to ask GP for referral

I have private. Still waiting mate. I just need the appointment to start with. I need to put more feelers out I think and make appointments everywhere until I get something!

Nah! In brissie mate x x