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Education & Reference arseh*le/creepy teachers from your childhood
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I had a teacher that spelt time wasted on the board as time 'waisted'. Mum also worked as an aid for a teacher that thought that the plural for mouse was 'mouses' instead of mice. Seriously how do these clowns get degrees?
- Jul 9, 2010
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Oh, oh. I had a teacher in year 9 English who was a mess. English was her third language and prior to teaching my class, she'd been only once to an English speaking country. Where's the logic in hiring someone like that?
- Dec 17, 2006
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You have to wonder about how some teachers think.
Back in primary school (Year 7) we had a practical library exercise about using the catalogues. One of the authors we had to look up was called Dick Burns. How anyone - let alone an experienced teacher - could possibly think that it was a good idea for 11 & 12 year olds to look up an author called Dick Burns is beyond me, and the teacher (middle aged spinster type) became really pissed off at the incessant laughing and smirking. She couldn't see the problem at all.
Back in primary school (Year 7) we had a practical library exercise about using the catalogues. One of the authors we had to look up was called Dick Burns. How anyone - let alone an experienced teacher - could possibly think that it was a good idea for 11 & 12 year olds to look up an author called Dick Burns is beyond me, and the teacher (middle aged spinster type) became really pissed off at the incessant laughing and smirking. She couldn't see the problem at all.
Oh another ripper was an Asian teacher that thought Geographe Bay in the south west was pronounced 'Geography' after the subject. Lol, guess what she taught? I also had a year 11 maths teacher that I swear in her class you just had to teach yourself with the text book. Only 2 other blokes and myself managed to pass out of a class of about 15..
The most ridiculous thing was that for a while we had an English teacher that was excellent, top guy that even managed to get the respect of kids that were trouble makers and he got the sack for not grading correctly or some bullshit. Absolutely unbelievable, same school too.
As someone that is a tradesman and has never set foot in a University I just can't understand how some of these idiots actually get qualified, there's obviously some issue with quality control.
The most ridiculous thing was that for a while we had an English teacher that was excellent, top guy that even managed to get the respect of kids that were trouble makers and he got the sack for not grading correctly or some bullshit. Absolutely unbelievable, same school too.
As someone that is a tradesman and has never set foot in a University I just can't understand how some of these idiots actually get qualified, there's obviously some issue with quality control.
My year 6 teacher only ever wore a tracksuit to work. Every single day, the same tracksuit. Eventually got fired for getting caught looking up girls skirts as they were walking up the stairs.
My year 7 teacher would always talk about her "pegasus" and I had no idea wtf she was talking about until halfway through the year. She would always ramble on about how on the weekend she and pegasus went for a drive in the hills, went and saw some friends etc etc. No one ever asked her who pegasus was, we were year 7's we didn't really give a crap. Then in the third term after cricket training I saw her in the staff car park getting into her car and as she drove off I noticed her number plate said "PEGASUS"
Then there was my year 8 teacher who would always fall asleep during class. I remember she always used to wear sandals and had massive cracks in her feet with green shit in the cracks. One of the times she drifted off to sleep we had to try and wake her up because class had finished. We nudged her a bit and touched her head and spoke to her but she didn't wake up so we left.
The amount of times we left early because she was having a snooze would've probably equated to 8-10 hours. Remember numerous times we were just kicking the footy out the front of the classroom while she was just sitting in her chair completely dead to the world Good times.
My year 7 teacher would always talk about her "pegasus" and I had no idea wtf she was talking about until halfway through the year. She would always ramble on about how on the weekend she and pegasus went for a drive in the hills, went and saw some friends etc etc. No one ever asked her who pegasus was, we were year 7's we didn't really give a crap. Then in the third term after cricket training I saw her in the staff car park getting into her car and as she drove off I noticed her number plate said "PEGASUS"
Then there was my year 8 teacher who would always fall asleep during class. I remember she always used to wear sandals and had massive cracks in her feet with green shit in the cracks. One of the times she drifted off to sleep we had to try and wake her up because class had finished. We nudged her a bit and touched her head and spoke to her but she didn't wake up so we left.
The amount of times we left early because she was having a snooze would've probably equated to 8-10 hours. Remember numerous times we were just kicking the footy out the front of the classroom while she was just sitting in her chair completely dead to the world Good times.
- Jul 25, 2010
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In year 4 or 5 I remember a mate of mine poking me with pencil and science teacher making me bring 50 cents into school and pay for it. This science teacher was a total toss pot and he hated my brother, therefore hated me. I don't believe he was a pedo or any shit like that, just a full on hippy who used to love making mud huts and shit like that.
Anyway, my story; as a pompous 9 or 10 year old, I didn’t give a shit about his new age crap or his self-sufficient ways and rightfully told him so. One day during science he asked some kids to help him make some mud bricks at the back of the school to help him build his mud hut. After asking, I rightfully told him no, couldn’t be stuffed helping him. I thought I was quite polite in answering, thinking about it now – I recon I was a little shit that just gave him lip.
Then one day a few weeks later, during a really boring science lesson a mate of mine was being a jerk, mucking around and just being stupid by pocking me in the ribs with his pencil. After about 15 minutes, I had enough and snatched it off him and broke it in 2. Chucked it back at him and told him to **** off (old mad was a hard arse and didn’t care what language he used and I guess I learn this behaviour at an early age) as I just wanted him to quit poking me. Anyway, Mr XXXX saw me break the pencil and told me in no uncertain term to get out and wait in his office.
Anyway, Mr XXXX told me he didn’t care what my mate was doing (in fact I don’t think he believed me anyway as I was rude, crude and from a bad family) and I was required to bring 50 cents the next day to replace the pencil. Old man gave me a hiding I’ve never forgotten. I cannot remember taking the 50 cents back to him but hate science to this day and make sure I never treat a kid as bad as that.
I’ve been a primary school teacher now for 11 years, grown up and moved into a very nice home with my own family. I will always hate that guy for treating me as if my issues never mattered but I guess Mr XXXX played a very negative role in my education but had a very major influence on my life.
Anyway, my story; as a pompous 9 or 10 year old, I didn’t give a shit about his new age crap or his self-sufficient ways and rightfully told him so. One day during science he asked some kids to help him make some mud bricks at the back of the school to help him build his mud hut. After asking, I rightfully told him no, couldn’t be stuffed helping him. I thought I was quite polite in answering, thinking about it now – I recon I was a little shit that just gave him lip.
Then one day a few weeks later, during a really boring science lesson a mate of mine was being a jerk, mucking around and just being stupid by pocking me in the ribs with his pencil. After about 15 minutes, I had enough and snatched it off him and broke it in 2. Chucked it back at him and told him to **** off (old mad was a hard arse and didn’t care what language he used and I guess I learn this behaviour at an early age) as I just wanted him to quit poking me. Anyway, Mr XXXX saw me break the pencil and told me in no uncertain term to get out and wait in his office.
Anyway, Mr XXXX told me he didn’t care what my mate was doing (in fact I don’t think he believed me anyway as I was rude, crude and from a bad family) and I was required to bring 50 cents the next day to replace the pencil. Old man gave me a hiding I’ve never forgotten. I cannot remember taking the 50 cents back to him but hate science to this day and make sure I never treat a kid as bad as that.
I’ve been a primary school teacher now for 11 years, grown up and moved into a very nice home with my own family. I will always hate that guy for treating me as if my issues never mattered but I guess Mr XXXX played a very negative role in my education but had a very major influence on my life.
I remember another primary school teacher had an obsession with gourds and pumpkins. One of our lessons involved each of us being paired up with a gourd and having to extract all the seeds from said gourd. We also went on an "excursion" which was a 10 minute walk to her house so she could shows us her collection of gourds.
- Jul 25, 2010
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That's why they are TRT teachers as they are weird and not up to making a positive connection with kids on a 5 days basis. Plus they are usually shit teachers.
I team teach with a female teacher, who had a student teacher at the time. She was away sick about 4 weeks ago and had a TRT teacher come in as they student teacher needs supervision. Just before recess (10:45) the relief goes missing for 30 mins and doesn't come back until after the break.
Then, 25 minutes after lunch, I walk into their room and the student teacher was reading a story, guess what the relief was doing? Oh, that's right.....sound asleep in the back of the room.
Think Ms Lippy from Billy Madison and that's her.
Easiest $289 she has ever made.
We had a teacher who brought her recently-removed gall stones into class one day. That was one of my fondest memories of middle school.
I remember we had this absolute dropkick for year 9 art. Me and two mates spent an entire semester building this tape ball in this class. It was bloody massive. But the teacher never picked up on it. I reckon we used about 30 or 40 rolls of tape on that thing and the ditz of a teacher never picked up on a) what we were doing with our time and b) where all of the the tape rolls were going. The ball became a bit of a cult figure in the end.
My dad actually wrote a letter to my sister's grade 2 English teacher because she marked her spelling test wrong on several occasions. The letter is still stored away along with all of our reports. We get it out occasionally for a laugh.
But the best was our senior footy coach. Nobody had any doubts that he was an absolute creep. Let's call him Phil. One day one of the school admins sent an email around to all students saying that there had been reports of a man driving slowly around the school car parks asking students if they'd seen his lost dog and to get in the car and help him find it. Then somebody asked "I didn't know Phil lost his dog?" Given the context it's still one of the best gags I've ever heard.
I remember we had this absolute dropkick for year 9 art. Me and two mates spent an entire semester building this tape ball in this class. It was bloody massive. But the teacher never picked up on it. I reckon we used about 30 or 40 rolls of tape on that thing and the ditz of a teacher never picked up on a) what we were doing with our time and b) where all of the the tape rolls were going. The ball became a bit of a cult figure in the end.
My dad actually wrote a letter to my sister's grade 2 English teacher because she marked her spelling test wrong on several occasions. The letter is still stored away along with all of our reports. We get it out occasionally for a laugh.
But the best was our senior footy coach. Nobody had any doubts that he was an absolute creep. Let's call him Phil. One day one of the school admins sent an email around to all students saying that there had been reports of a man driving slowly around the school car parks asking students if they'd seen his lost dog and to get in the car and help him find it. Then somebody asked "I didn't know Phil lost his dog?" Given the context it's still one of the best gags I've ever heard.
- Jul 25, 2010
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I do that, especially with the smart arsed kid who wants to try and be funny. I don't do it out of stupidity but out of allowing them to own their own learning and behaviour.
I say to them (knowing full well it will get a laugh) that they can do that person but one hint of laughter or stupidity they will have to do the project at lunch time and again with a sensible person. They do the sensible person the first time and I don't say no.
- Feb 14, 2002
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I find it impossible to make any allegations of sexual misconduct against Brother Coldr** who taught me French in 1964 at Christian Brothers College Parade, in East Melbourne. In the 90s, I placed details of his behaviour before a QC in Melbourne, who worked on behalf of the catholic church on such matters. He informed me that his brief was to deal solely with allegations against priests, not christian brothers. As a result of this, I'm unable to make any allegations against this man, and I do not do so. His reputation remains intact, such as it may be.
One day I turned up in this unnamed teacher's class and I hadn't done my French homework. He told me to report to him, after school, in a classroom on the second storey of a building at the remotest area of the school. I duly reported to this teacher, expecting some form of detention. Instead, I was ordered to drop my trousers and underpants, lean forwards over a desk and receive six 'cuts' with a thick leather strap across my naked buttocks.
At the time, I doubted that his actions were intended to be educative. Equally, by this time, nothing catholics did was of any surprise. He in no way further interfered with me or assaulted me. I subsequently heard that he pulled the same stunt about five years later, with an even younger boy. He then left the school, after some of the older boys belted shit out of him. The reason I tried to report him all those years later was that I found out he was still teaching within the system.
Another teacher, at the same school, who taught year 10 maths, destroyed my love of that subject, due to his ineptitude. He was a neurotic control freak who had no empathy with those he taught. I dropped out of Maths early in the year. Late in that year, as the time for the Presentation Night approached, he formed a 60- strong choir among the boys, to sing on the night. I was among those selected to perform. We practised over a period of six weeks for the big night. It was only during the week before the performance that he realised that somebody was, ever so slightly, out of tune. He stopped our song in midstream and pointed at me, saying, "There's something wrong here. You! You sing it!" And so I did. And for the first time in six weeks, perfectly in tune. I'm reliably informed that this eventually drove him mad(der).
YES!
One day I turned up in this unnamed teacher's class and I hadn't done my French homework. He told me to report to him, after school, in a classroom on the second storey of a building at the remotest area of the school. I duly reported to this teacher, expecting some form of detention. Instead, I was ordered to drop my trousers and underpants, lean forwards over a desk and receive six 'cuts' with a thick leather strap across my naked buttocks.
At the time, I doubted that his actions were intended to be educative. Equally, by this time, nothing catholics did was of any surprise. He in no way further interfered with me or assaulted me. I subsequently heard that he pulled the same stunt about five years later, with an even younger boy. He then left the school, after some of the older boys belted shit out of him. The reason I tried to report him all those years later was that I found out he was still teaching within the system.
Another teacher, at the same school, who taught year 10 maths, destroyed my love of that subject, due to his ineptitude. He was a neurotic control freak who had no empathy with those he taught. I dropped out of Maths early in the year. Late in that year, as the time for the Presentation Night approached, he formed a 60- strong choir among the boys, to sing on the night. I was among those selected to perform. We practised over a period of six weeks for the big night. It was only during the week before the performance that he realised that somebody was, ever so slightly, out of tune. He stopped our song in midstream and pointed at me, saying, "There's something wrong here. You! You sing it!" And so I did. And for the first time in six weeks, perfectly in tune. I'm reliably informed that this eventually drove him mad(der).
YES!
SugarShane
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I'd heartily agree with that. Whatever the Unis are teaching isn't helping. My wife is a qualified teacher and while she was at uni, it baffled me the shit they had to do assignments on. There was very little actual "teacher training." Instead of drumming the shit they need to know into them (obvious grammar, spelling and maths rules for starters), they were writing 3000 word essays about irrelevant stuff.
I read a letter one of my wife's co-teachers wrote, and i, the simple year 12 graduate retail store worker, corrected about 7 or 8 English mistakes in a 3-4 paragraph letter from a uni qualified teacher. And we're talking early primary stuff, like they're/there/their and loose/lose. Then a month or so ago we got an invite to her son's birthday party, "Your Invited!" is said across the top in massive letters. Doesn't give you a whole lot of confidence in the school system. Day 1 of studying teaching should be a spelling test. If you fail, begone. Find something else.
Had a teacher who would come into our change rooms after we had finished PE while we we're getting changed and watched us.
We were only year 7's at the time but we were all collectively weirded out.
We were only year 7's at the time but we were all collectively weirded out.
Well actually I told a lie I have been in a University, changed 100s of lamps at Curtain and re-wired a few classrooms at UWA
Seriously though if there are people falling through the system that can't get things so incredible basic correct than some of the degrees obviously aren't worth the paper they are written on.
Seriously though if there are people falling through the system that can't get things so incredible basic correct than some of the degrees obviously aren't worth the paper they are written on.
Well actually I told a lie I have been in a University, changed 100s of lamps at Curtain and re-wired a few classrooms at UWA
Seriously though if there are people falling through the system that can't get things so incredible basic correct than some of the degrees obviously aren't worth the paper they are written on.
Then...
Thanks, knew I'd get something wrong
edit - incredible should also be incredibly.
edit - incredible should also be incredibly.
A typo
A typo
Yeah cause 'a' is so close to 't' and 'i'.
"Those who can do, those who can't teach."
Says it all really. I was often surprised during school at the sheer number of teachers who couldn't spell properly or do simple maths
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SACK THE LOT OF THEM!
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my year 11 music teacher appeared under a pseudonym name in the movie maslins beach
she was the old opera singer who sang from the clifftops nude
the morning after it aired for the first time on channel 9 (was the late movie), i was talking about it before my music class started with a mate, and she asked if i saw the movie and what i thought of it. the disappointment in her face when i said it was the worst movie i've ever seen was priceless
this same woman also performed an excorcism on our music room, apparently the ghosts of music teachers past remained in this atco hut of a classroom...
she was the old opera singer who sang from the clifftops nude
the morning after it aired for the first time on channel 9 (was the late movie), i was talking about it before my music class started with a mate, and she asked if i saw the movie and what i thought of it. the disappointment in her face when i said it was the worst movie i've ever seen was priceless
this same woman also performed an excorcism on our music room, apparently the ghosts of music teachers past remained in this atco hut of a classroom...
Dagless
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lol @ Dick Burns
One of my kids' teachers a couple of years back (Year 1 class I think it was) was demonstrating the "ph" sound, and decided that Phuket would be a good word to put on the board. My lad was switched on enough in his reading to sound that one phonetically and whisper it to the kid next to him, and naturally it didn't take long to get right around the room...
One of my kids' teachers a couple of years back (Year 1 class I think it was) was demonstrating the "ph" sound, and decided that Phuket would be a good word to put on the board. My lad was switched on enough in his reading to sound that one phonetically and whisper it to the kid next to him, and naturally it didn't take long to get right around the room...
