Media BastFeed (LATEST: We Are Going Bankrupt)

[Supersuns]

Hey! I could have easily been referring to PMBangers

PMBangers just embarrasses himself then tells them to join his discord chat.

 

[Ned_Flanders]

Come On! This Match Thread Poster Has Slept With Your Sister, Your Sister's Best Friends, Your Partner, Your Partners Sister and Your Partners Best Friends!

And?

 

[Bastyy]

And?

well i just don't like that he's getting around so much

 

[Supersuns]

Bastyy has a less than impressive Johnson and that's why he had created this thread to project his insecurities

 

[Bastyy]

Bastyy has a less than impressive Johnson and that's why he had created this thread to project his insecurities

It’s impressive but not in the good ways

 

[Ned_Flanders]

well i just don't like that he's getting around so much

Is that because your more untouched than a warriors premiership cabinet

 

[Bastyy]

Is that because your more untouched than a warriors premiership cabinet

Not cool Ned, I've got my own little Tittybong cup in there

 

[DragoDelph]

EDIT: Finally home so can post the comic, not the link

 

[Senor M]

Come On! This Match Thread Poster Is Sleeping With Your Mother

This guy is sleeping with your mother, and he wants you to know about it
You've been so excited for this week, going up against your favourite posting team in the league when the worst possible things has happened.

That's right, an opposition poster is sleeping with your mother

You don't really know how this happened, after all the boys on Call of Duty had done similar, you thought that you would never have to deal with another person in kahoots with your parents but here we go again, that smug bastard on the opposition team has done just what you hoped he wouldn't

Now there are a number of reasons why this doesn't make much sense, first of all how would he even find your mother, and if he did how would he know it's YOUR mother. Second of all you might not even have a mother, so that actually looks worse on him, what with necrophillia giving you a 2-5 year gig in prison. So really, this whole "sleeping with your mother" thing seems to be a ruse to hide the fact that they can't get laid in real life, but this poster seems REALLY confident about it.

It's time to run away from home for good

Okay, so we have to accept that MAYBE this guy is sleeping with your mother, and maybe he is your new father, does this actually apply to you. Unless you are a Furies member you probably don't live with your mother anymore, and can potentially cut her out of your life for sleeping with your least favourite opposition poster (we would have much preferred someone like tony, Tonga Bob or T2B_, three respectful posters who wouldn't kill a fly). You may also want to contact your family members because an anonymous man on the internet is have an affair with a pretty important family member. Once you've got all of this under control, it is time to live your life freely and no longer live with the burden that this man on the internet is your new father.

If you don't think about it, it cannot hurt you any longer

We're allowed to make jokes about peoples Mum's again? Sweet!

Last season people were receiving bans for Mum jokes.

 

[BLUEALLTHRU]

We're allowed to make jokes about peoples Mum's again? Sweet!

Last season people were receiving bans for Mum jokes.

Go for it masher.

 

[Senor M]

Go for it masher.

Tag him you coward Masha73

 

[Bastyy]

Battle Of The Co Captains: Who Would Survive?

BastFeed will be making co-captains take fight eachother on February 30th, 2022. Buy tickets now!

It's no longer a matter of "my dad could beat your dad in a fight", we now live in an age where we have to figure out which of our co-captains could beat the other in a fight. No one LIKES the concept of co-captains, and we here at BastFeed believe that the concept should be abolished, and there's one easy way for that to be accomplished. The SFA now has 5 clubs that have co-captains, meaning that BastFeed will be able to host a fight to the death between these co-captains. In this article we will discuss who we think will win in these fights

1. manangatang and Callums_Guns

It's pretty plain and simple here, you have a kind gentle soul in manangatang versus the battle hardened, future Old Boy Callums_Guns. Try as he might, I don't see a reality where mang can compete with someone who has been trained day and night by Tigerturbulance in order to compete at the highest levels of Qootball. So, simple answer here, CG wins

2. Metalcrusher and BLUEALLTHRU

Throw these two in an arena and you could probably sell it out. We've seen these two argue with literally everyone in the SFA, whether you're a veteran or a rookie who doesn't even understand the SFA yet, but we've NEVER seen these two go at eachother. I think this one is more of a 50/50 if anything, and comes down to who can have the most stamina and take out the other in what I assume would be a gladiator battle

3. TJASTA and ImissFrosty

The wildcard one here, on one hand you have a pirate who took over the Furies singlehandedly and on the other hand you have the strongest child in the last decade. On one hand, the swashbuckling sailor in TJASTA should have access to pirate weapons like cannons and swords, but ImissFrosty could probably take him out if he got close. For all the bettors out there, skip this one because this one is UNPREDICATBLE

4. Kennedy Parker and philreich

Two kind souls here, one a former admin who people remember fondly, and another a simmer who probably rigs the sim FOR your team. Looking at the matchup here you could expect a close fight, but I believe both these fighters would abstain in a powerful act. However no one is above the rules of this co-captain clash, and thus they would eventually fight with philreich taking KP out in a close fashion. This is the kind of drama we hope to see

5. serial_thrilla and T2B_

serial_thrilla is a massive pussy, T2B_ wins

 

[serial_thrilla]

Battle Of The Co Captains: Who Would Survive?

BastFeed will be making co-captains take fight eachother on February 30th, 2022. Buy tickets now!

It's no longer a matter of "my dad could beat your dad in a fight", we now live in an age where we have to figure out which of our co-captains could beat the other in a fight. No one LIKES the concept of co-captains, and we here at BastFeed believe that the concept should be abolished, and there's one easy way for that to be accomplished. The SFA now has 5 clubs that have co-captains, meaning that BastFeed will be able to host a fight to the death between these co-captains. In this article we will discuss who we think will win in these fights

1. manangatang and Callums_Guns

It's pretty plain and simple here, you have a kind gentle soul in manangatang versus the battle hardened, future Old Boy Callums_Guns. Try as he might, I don't see a reality where mang can compete with someone who has been trained day and night by Tigerturbulance in order to compete at the highest levels of Qootball. So, simple answer here, CG wins

2. Metalcrusher and BLUEALLTHRU

Throw these two in an arena and you could probably sell it out. We've seen these two argue with literally everyone in the SFA, whether you're a veteran or a rookie who doesn't even understand the SFA yet, but we've NEVER seen these two go at eachother. I think this one is more of a 50/50 if anything, and comes down to who can have the most stamina and take out the other in what I assume would be a gladiator battle

3. TJASTA and ImissFrosty

The wildcard one here, on one hand you have a pirate who took over the Furies singlehandedly and on the other hand you have the strongest child in the last decade. On one hand, the swashbuckling sailor in TJASTA should have access to pirate weapons like cannons and swords, but ImissFrosty could probably take him out if he got close. For all the bettors out there, skip this one because this one is UNPREDICATBLE

4. Kennedy Parker and philreich

Two kind souls here, one a former admin who people remember fondly, and another a simmer who probably rigs the sim FOR your team. Looking at the matchup here you could expect a close fight, but I believe both these fighters would abstain in a powerful act. However no one is above the rules of this co-captain clash, and thus they would eventually fight with philreich taking KP out in a close fashion. This is the kind of drama we hope to see

5. serial_thrilla and T2B_

serial_thrilla is a massive pussy, T2B_ wins

 

[T2B_]

I dunno, if there's such a thing as a version of dyslexia but for numbers, I probably have it. serial_thrilla could throw mass amounts of stats at me to try overwhelm and it would probably be Super Effective.

 

[Bastyy]

I dunno, if there's such a thing as a version of dyslexia but for numbers, I probably have it. serial_thrilla could throw mass amounts of stats at me to try overwhelm and it would probably be Super Effective.

If you close your eyes numbers stop existing and you can win from there

 

[T2B_]

If you close your eyes numbers stop existing and you can win from there

True, that was pretty much my strategy through high school

 

[Ned_Flanders]

Battle Of The Co Captains: Who Would Survive?

BastFeed will be making co-captains take fight eachother on February 30th, 2022. Buy tickets now!

It's no longer a matter of "my dad could beat your dad in a fight", we now live in an age where we have to figure out which of our co-captains could beat the other in a fight. No one LIKES the concept of co-captains, and we here at BastFeed believe that the concept should be abolished, and there's one easy way for that to be accomplished. The SFA now has 5 clubs that have co-captains, meaning that BastFeed will be able to host a fight to the death between these co-captains. In this article we will discuss who we think will win in these fights

1. manangatang and Callums_Guns

It's pretty plain and simple here, you have a kind gentle soul in manangatang versus the battle hardened, future Old Boy Callums_Guns. Try as he might, I don't see a reality where mang can compete with someone who has been trained day and night by Tigerturbulance in order to compete at the highest levels of Qootball. So, simple answer here, CG wins

2. Metalcrusher and BLUEALLTHRU

Throw these two in an arena and you could probably sell it out. We've seen these two argue with literally everyone in the SFA, whether you're a veteran or a rookie who doesn't even understand the SFA yet, but we've NEVER seen these two go at eachother. I think this one is more of a 50/50 if anything, and comes down to who can have the most stamina and take out the other in what I assume would be a gladiator battle

3. TJASTA and ImissFrosty

The wildcard one here, on one hand you have a pirate who took over the Furies singlehandedly and on the other hand you have the strongest child in the last decade. On one hand, the swashbuckling sailor in TJASTA should have access to pirate weapons like cannons and swords, but ImissFrosty could probably take him out if he got close. For all the bettors out there, skip this one because this one is UNPREDICATBLE

4. Kennedy Parker and philreich

Two kind souls here, one a former admin who people remember fondly, and another a simmer who probably rigs the sim FOR your team. Looking at the matchup here you could expect a close fight, but I believe both these fighters would abstain in a powerful act. However no one is above the rules of this co-captain clash, and thus they would eventually fight with philreich taking KP out in a close fashion. This is the kind of drama we hope to see

5. serial_thrilla and T2B_

serial_thrilla is a massive pussy, T2B_ wins

Callums_Guns because he has guns, while manangatang just drinks Tang and he's not a ****ing astronaut

Metalcrusher because he crushes metal while BLUEALLTHRU has diarrhoea from too many blue heaven milkshakes

TJASTA because he's a tween pirate, while ImissFrosty cant even hit ****ing Frosty the god damn Snowman

philreich because dad jokes are ****ing funny, and he isnt a dumbarse red squirrel blessed to be on a ****ing cloud_ like Kennedy Parker

serial_thrilla because he idolizes the Son of Sam, while T2B_ idolizes being on toast with olive oil, salt and pepper, and a poached egg

 

[BLUEALLTHRU]

Callums_Guns because he has guns, while manangatang just drinks Tang and he's not a ******* astronaut

Metalcrusher because he crushes metal while BLUEALLTHRU has diahreah from too many blue heaven milkshakes

TJASTA because he's a tween pirate, while ImissFrosty cant even hit ******* Frosty the god damn Snowman

philreich because dad jokes are ******* funny, and he isnt a dumbarse red squirrel blessed to be on a ******* cloud_ like Kennedy Parker

serial_thrilla because he idolizes the Son of Sam, while T2B_ idolizes being on toast with olive oil, salt and pepper, and a poached egg

Well put together Biscuits

 

[T2B_]

Callums_Guns because he has guns, while manangatang just drinks Tang and he's not a ******* astronaut

Metalcrusher because he crushes metal while BLUEALLTHRU has diahreah from too many blue heaven milkshakes

TJASTA because he's a tween pirate, while ImissFrosty cant even hit ******* Frosty the god damn Snowman

philreich because dad jokes are ******* funny, and he isnt a dumbarse red squirrel blessed to be on a ******* cloud_ like Kennedy Parker

serial_thrilla because he idolizes the Son of Sam, while T2B_ idolizes being on toast with olive oil, salt and pepper, and a poached egg

Yea but at least I sound delicious.

 

[Bastyy]

Callums_Guns because he has guns, while manangatang just drinks Tang and he's not a ******* astronaut

Metalcrusher because he crushes metal while BLUEALLTHRU has diarrhoea from too many blue heaven milkshakes

TJASTA because he's a tween pirate, while ImissFrosty cant even hit ******* Frosty the god damn Snowman

philreich because dad jokes are ******* funny, and he isnt a dumbarse red squirrel blessed to be on a ******* cloud_ like Kennedy Parker

serial_thrilla because he idolizes the Son of Sam, while T2B_ idolizes being on toast with olive oil, salt and pepper, and a poached egg

Ned_Flanders SPEAKS

 

[Jabba73]

The Baghdad Bombers went with co-captains as there was always a chance at least one of them would be in Banhammer.

Everyone else is copying … because Bombers.

 

[Bastyy]

Top 5 SFA Inspired Baby Names

The big day is approaching!

Congratulations! After years of bribery, you have finally convinced the magic stork to bring you and your family a baby. While you wait for the stork to choose the perfect baby for you, how about you figure a name out for this thing? Don't worry, it may be overwhelming, but us at BastFeed have your back, and we're ready to give you the best name you could ask for

1. Ted, Doug and/or Chris (3-Way Tie)

For those not in the know, there is a captain that goes by 3 games in the SFA! A unique concept given we also have a captain with two last names, a captain with 1 first name plus a weapon and a man called Chipmunk. Us at BastFeed decided that instead of choosing just one of TedDougChris' many interesting names, that all 3 belong on this list. So if you are in the market for a new baby name, consider one or a combination of these three

2. rfctiger74

A unique one for sure, but this name will definitely get people talking. For those who don't know, rfc stands for Real ******* Cool, and the 74 represents the amount of people that your baby could take on in a fight. If you want a TOUGH name, instead of going for Warrick or Alexander, perhaps decide on rfctiger74

3. Breastyy

Pictured: A cool baby called Breastyy

A controversial one here, instead of stealing the name of the most interesting and popular poster in the SFA (not me, I'm referring to Headless of course), maybe put a spin on a name that will paint the picture in the head of others that your baby is pretty cool. Seriously, whenever I see this name used I assume (rightfully so) that it is in a positive and complimentary manner, so the results are already there. Maybe Breastyy is the name for you?

4. SSwans2022

It's time to put a release date on your baby. How annoying is it to ask people when they were born or how old they are? Well with THIS baby name your child will never deal with that question again! Everyone's favourite 11 year old SSwans2011 is a popular poster for this very reason, as there is less time wasted on match threads asking for his date of birth, and more time spent on asking for his mothers maiden name, his first pets name and the 3 cards on the back. Consider this name if your baby is going to be SUPER useful

5. Party Gull

Your future baby!

Don't you WISH your baby was a seagull, and not a boring human? With this name, maybe they will become one! I don't know if this will actually work, but with enough manifestation you can turn your baby into this flying creature. There are results that prove it's possible (Party Gull himself managed to turn from a popular singer into a seagull with just the push on the button) but these results are not guaranteed. Do not hold BastFeed accountable if the results you desire are not achieved

 

[Bastyy]

Ranking the SFA Admin Candidates Based On Their Response To The Russian-Ukraine Conflict

Pictured: The future admin

The admin candidates have been revealed, and the public has finally got the chance to ask them their stances on the future of the SFA. BUT I'M SORRY IS EVERYONE JUST FORGETTING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS? WHEN WILL SANTOZ BE UNBANNED? WHEN WILL THE SFA BE CONCLUDED? AND MOST IMPORTANTLY WHAT ARE THE CANDIDATES OPINION ON THE RUSSIAN-UKRAINE CONFLICT AND HOW WILL THEY RESPOND TO IT.

I'm sorry for yelling, this writer is just really passionate about the future of the SFA, so I decided to ask the admin candidates what their thoughts on this pressing issue

5. PMBangers

"This is a fantasy league, I think you're taking it a bit seriously, maybe re-assess if the league is for you mate"

HELLO? DOES HE NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS COULD MEAN FOR THE SFA? OUR RELATIONS WOULD NATO WOULD BE DESTROYED. This is by far the worst response, and this has put Bangers in LAST PLACE

4. Barrybran

"Let me leave it to the sub-committee"

It takes a strong man to realise that an area of work is not for him, and I would probably prefer it in the hands of a sub-committee, but come on Baz! Give us something more! More passion! More heart! Disappointing, but not the worst answer

3. Kennedy Parker

"The SFA will declare war"

WOW, that's BOLD. I am excited to see how this pans out, but is it TOO bold? Potentially! I don't think the SFA has the troops ready to take on Russia (or Ukraine? We don't know who the SFA is taking on) and we could potentially lose 3-4 good posters. That would SUCK!

2. kdavva

"I refuse to comment"

WOW! How brave!. I like a man who acts in private, he is hiding so many secrets from us that we don't know and yet he still reveals so much. If he was really going to do something about it, he would have told me (we're friends like that). I am SERIOUSLY excited by this admin candidate now

1. Jabba73

I did not ask Jabba for his opinion on the Russian-Ukrainian conflict, but I decided that he belongs at number one after being robbed of a running position by the evil admin WHO I WILL NOT NAME. It was UNFAIR and RUDE and TERRIBLE. This reporter asks you show your support for Jabba

 

[kdavva]

"I refuse to comment"

And I stand by that

 

[serial_thrilla]

BreastFeed endorses Jabba73. Looks like we'll just ignore NaturalDisaster's ridiculous decision.