Rumour Best football related rumour you have heard from someone you trust

[Chief]

Continued in Part 2:

Not-a-cluey - Best FOOTBALL RELATED RUMOUR you have heard from someone you trust Part Deux - Many lies and bullshit in here. Please read OP before posting.

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[Yoey]

Well I think we can close this thread after the "Wank Monkey" rumour...nothing can top that.

 

[Pistol Night]

 

[CoDkiller]

Someone willingly put their penis in the grips of an animal that can rip a man limb from limb for a gag...Then his teammates all did it too...

Because no man has ever put his penis somewhere he shouldn't.

Sent from my SM-G975F using Tapatalk

 

[bobs head soup]

Time to move on from David Glascott. Anyone got a new rumour?

Disagree. More Glascott.

 

[Sainter3and7]

Does anyone know where you can get one of these trainable chimpanzees? Asking for a friend.

Or can anyone put me in touch (well, not literally) with old mate David?

 

[Pistol Night]

Because no man has ever put his penis somewhere he shouldn't.

Sent from my SM-G975F using Tapatalk

 

[The Warlord]

bresker , you are the hero that BigFooty deserves. I applaud you standing up for the rights of chimpanzees everywhere, particularly on Wikipedia.

From chimpan-A to chimpanzee!

 

[gordo2016]

Does anyone know where you can get one of these trainable chimpanzees? Asking for a friend.

Or can anyone put me in touch (well, not literally) with old mate David?

Australia has pretty strict laws on the keeping of animals like chimps. Glascott must have been a licensed zoo keeper to get one.

 

[Mofra]

How do you train a chimp to do this?
Asking for a friend

 

[Pistol Night]

From chimpan-A to chimpanzee!

Sounds like this one stopped at the chimpmanz dee

 

[Taylor]

They'll rip off everything including your face for the smallest slight in their mind.

I don't think there is a way someone trains an animal to wank them off without them also at some stage having their dick torn off.

Don't believe it.

It would be like inviting a vampire to kiss your neck

 

[PT Bar None]

So maybe a Bonobo ape then?

 

[GreyCrow]

View attachment 863782

 

[troybe]

Does anyone know where you can get one of these trainable chimpanzees? Asking for a friend.

Or can anyone put me in touch (well, not literally) with old mate David?

Just head down to the local monkey orphanage



On iPhone using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[Registered User]

Fact, not rumour: "football related" should be hyphenated

 

[bresker]

Time to move on from David Glascott.

That’s what the chimp was thinking too

 

[markm106]

They'll rip off everything including your face for the smallest slight in their mind.

I don't think there is a way someone trains an animal to wank them off without them also at some stage having their dick torn off.

Don't believe it.

It would be like inviting a vampire to kiss your neck

Agree. Funny story. But you’d be a brave man to let a chimp decide if you keep your **** or not.

 

[Taylor]

I think that of the six things growing off your torso, most of you guys would choose to lop off the dick 5th last and that's only leaving your head - and that might still be chopped off first!

 

[Minka Beaver]

I love how you’ve all focused on the dick amputation risk and not on the more everyday concern of keeping an animal that flings its poo at you.

Although considering some of the stories that are known about Carlton in the 1980s, that would probably seem fairly tame behaviour.

 

[Minka Beaver]

Australia has pretty strict laws on the keeping of animals like chimps. Glascott must have been a licensed zoo keeper to get one.

He was a secondary school teacher. The story is total bollocks, but the rumour is unforgettable.

 

[Taylor]

Maybe it's a super racist story? Like really, really racist

 

[bresker]

Australia has pretty strict laws on the keeping of animals like chimps. Glascott must have been a licensed zoo keeper to get one.

Seen Tiger King?

The Forgotten Theme Parks of Melbourne

Since the early 1900's, Melbourne has been home to a number of wild and wacky theme parks. We have a look back at some of the biggest.

www.weekendnotes.com

It was the 80s every second person had a wild animal in the backyard

 

[gordo2016]

QUOTE="bresker, post: 65017045, member: 20106"]
Seen Tiger King?

The Forgotten Theme Parks of Melbourne

Since the early 1900's, Melbourne has been home to a number of wild and wacky theme parks. We have a look back at some of the biggest.

www.weekendnotes.com

It was the 80s every second person had a wild animal in the backyard
[/QUOTE]
Good story bro.

 

[HahnPremium]

Speaking of ex Carlton players, Jimmy Buckley was coaching North Ballarat, mid 90's. Jimmy liked a drink and a punt. He got on the piss one day in Ballarat and turned up to training and no one was there. He turned the lights on and started running around by himself , setting things up, pissed to the eyeballs. He started cursing why he was the only one there and cracked the shits. After a while he packed everything up, turned the lights off and left. When he got home he told his missus no one had turned up to training. His missus said " What are talking about? Its Sunday, there is no training.

......and then he went into his mancave with a temporary loan of glascott's performing chimp.

Chimps are venerable.

 

[curnow inferno]

speaking of jimmy buckley, an old secretary who worked at carlton in the 70s and 80s once mentioned to him that she did not own a tv. so a few days later he rocks up at her house with a tv hurriedly saying "quick quick put this in the house its hot"....

She later found out hot means stolen...