Bluemour Melting Pot XX - Snark Free Zone

[Blue__Balls]

Dan Butlers manager says it’s down to us and saints.

Didn’t SoS and Agresta say there wasn’t any interest from us?

SOS and Agresta were interviewed pretty much simultaneously on different channels.

SOS said we no longer had any real interest.

Agresta said there was still some small interest, but added that it was a preliminary chat with Butler before the GF, and there hadn't been any conversation with him or his camp since.

Butler's manager had a wry smile on his face when questioned about it 20 mins ago, and said at this stage it was St Kilda or Carlton.

I reckon our interest is pretty much non-existent with Papley, Martin and Betts progressing well, and Agresta was just trying to be diplomatic about it. Especially if there was never a firm yes/no offered to Butler's camp. And I suppose both could be true-ish, in that we don't have any real interest right now, but if Papley fell through we might need to revisit it.

Or conspiracy theory - we're maintaining the facade of slight interest to make sure St Kilda have to give him a competitive offer.

 

[tattooedJESUS]

AFL shoulder indicating that we’re worried the Martin deal won’t get done. Standard

Let him walk for free then

 

[SkyhorseTamer]

AFL shoulder indicating that we’re worried the Martin deal won’t get done. Standard

AFL what?

 

[Kruezing]

Hoping its Petrucelli.

But I'm not sure if the club is cultured enough to harbour an Italian dude from the northern suburbs.

Haven’t heard that but can’t have enough Italians in the team ...

 

[bluemahogany]

Hoping its Petrucelli.

But I'm not sure if the club is cultured enough to harbour an Italian dude from the northern suburbs.

Manager shut all talk down yesterday, loves Perth apparently

 

[jooce8891]

really hope we’re still into butler, would much prefer him over betts especially when talking about the future

 

[ctwenty1]

AFL what?

ill pay attention when AFL hamstring starts talking

 

[Mr_Plow]

Sos did say that.

But I hope we still get him

Betts is only a year or 2. We still need one more of his type. Think he could have a future with us.

Yep, get Dan Butler and then announce Polson's payout.

 

[zeggie]

Would love to know what these list managers do for 8 hours a day. If I was as unproductive at my job I'd be sacked.

A day in the life of an AFL General Manager of List Management and Strategy.

It was a gloomy morning in Melbourne's CBD. Disembodied umbrellas flowed through Lygon St and a distinct sense of dreariness accompanied them as they disappeared into various lobbies. I was getting impatient with the sedentary lifestyle that my Maserati Quattroporte had forced upon it for most of the drive to work but things were about to improve. I looked to my left and saw that there was a prune-like middle aged guy in the grey Porsche, with an Essendon sticker on the rear window, next to me at the lights. I rolled down my window, "Nice car, does it come in mens?" I then got my phone out and repeated the statement so I could snapchat it to the lads. I revved the modular twin-turbocharged, direct injected V8 petrol engine that was nestled in my beauty, letting all of Melbourne know that the only thing longer than my traffic offence history was my penis. The light turned green and I took off. The geriatric Essendon supporter stalled and I waved the bird out the window at him. There was a distinct splooshing sound as the panties of every woman in a five-kilometre radius were simultaneously moistened. It's a sound that I'm used to hearing as a List Manager.

I reached Ikon and drove across two lanes of traffic up onto the footpath. I heard a dull thud as the front of my car collided with a lowly Collingwood recruiter waiting for a 10am meeting. I got out of my car and yelled, '**** the police', before turning to the Collingwood recruiter, who was now sprawled on the pavement gasping for breath. 'Hey, arseh*le, go get my car detailed.' I threw my keys at him and entered Ikon.

My entourage was waiting in the lobby. Agresta high-fived me and the sound was so crisp and glorious that it restored hearing to every deaf person in Australia and North Melbourne went into voluntary administration instantaneously. We walked to the lifts and saw that one had just been filled by some of the Corporate Services team. We approached the doors and, upon recognising our arrival, the Corporate Services team quickly vacated the lift, holding their hands over the door sensor as we got in. One asked for my autograph but I just scoffed and pressed the "door close" button.

We left the lift and the whole floor applauded us as we entered. We Are The Navy Blues played in the background and LoGiudice greeted us with firm handshakes. "You List Management boys are true heroes." We waved him off with a jerk off gesture and walked to the corner of the floor that was occupied by the Coaching team. One of them was about to take a bite out of the last jam doughnut when he saw us approaching. I snatched it from his chubby fingers. "You don't want this doughnut, do you?". "N-n-no, i-it's all yours," he stammered sycophantically. I threw the baked snack at the ceiling where it splattered into a sugary mess that dripped slowly onto the development coach's head, "I insist". My Recruitment bros all laughed raucously and we high-fived and slapped each others' arses.

Then we saw the hot Communications & Marketing officer who the club was courting to accept a managment position. "Why don't you come and play with the real men? Join the List Management team." She instantly nodded in agreement, "I didn't want to work with these Marketing nerds anyway." All the Marketing officers handed us the matters that they found too difficult to resolve, which was all of them. "We'll take it from here, chumps. Betts is the answer." I said. The rain stopped, the clouds cleared and a ray of sunlight shone through the window and illuminated myself and my team. Everyone in the Marketing team offered to perform fellatio on us but we politely refused: "that's your mum's job".

We chest bumped, high-fived, and then headed off to a strip club to meet Dodoro for a long lunch to discuss the Phillips trade. The end.*

*The events chronicled above may or may not be fictional and have been stolen and adapted.

 

[tattooedJESUS]

Could we be waiting for The kelly deal, then We go to Geelong with 9 for the 14 and future first from wc? Geelong then get that top 10 they want and we get 14 and maybe 2020 17 to do deals for Papley and gc get that first they want the W️S

 

[VainGlorious]

Squeegee?

Under appreciated this post.

 

[F_therest]

I'm pretty sure the player TheRedPill would've been talking about was Crouch, who we've likely ruled out. As to WHY he was turned away, well it'd either be because the demands/cost were too high; he wasn't the type of player we were after; or because we've got another in that same bracket (read: Gaff) that we're still in the hunt for.

My guess as well.

It was mentioned in the media that Crouch's manager was essentially shopping him around, making it sound like he was chasing a 5 year deal at around $1 million a season (lol).

If him obviously we've probably ruled him out now based on the terms he is demanding, and also the picks Adelaide would demand in a trade.

TRP said it's someone who has been speculated about a lot, so Crouch would fit that bill.

The only other one i can think of is Gaff.

 

[Faz 2000]

ill pay attention when AFL hamstring starts talking

It can't, it's out for 2-3 weeks.

 

[ferrisb]

Wrap up Papley, Martin and Betts then snaffle Cutler and Butler late. Then finish off with Benny Rutler to bring it home.

Thanks to chipzac, we know we are definitely not chasing after Zutler....

 

[Coops93]

Something made up on Facebook is not a rumour

I think you might be struggling with what the definition of rumour actually is.

a currently circulating story or report of uncertain or doubtful truth.​

Sounds like a rumour to me, and discussing it here seems like the right place to do it.

 

[Blue__Balls]

It isn't so subjective that 1 (future) first rounder would get the deal done.

Of course it is.

We finished bottom 3 this year. We all expect to improve, but that doesn't mean our first pick is going to be in the teens next year. We're every chance of having a couple of injuries to key players relegate us to the bottom 6 once again. And even if it was a pick around 10-12, you know full well how loose the industry is with terms like "elite" and "gun".

 

[VainGlorious]

Is Cutler now on the cards?

You’d think he’d only be the steak knives in an overall trade...

 

[Kramer1]

McGovern, Kelly, Gaff and Natanui all reportedly within spitting distance of $1m. Surely something has to give over there.

Same question gets asked 10m later on radio.

Hi Sam.

 

[smashbox gill]

My guess as well.

It was mentioned in the media that Crouch's manager was essentially shopping him around, making it sound like he was chasing a 5 year deal at around $1 million a season (lol).

If him obviously we've probably ruled him out now based on the terms he is demanding, and also the picks Adelaide would demand in a trade.

TRP said it's someone who has been speculated about a lot, so Crouch would fit that bill.

The only other one i can think of is Gaff.

Or Wines

 

[ferrisb]

Petruccelle is Italian for "******* quick and will score many goals outracing opponents"

Pretty sure.

 

[Blue__Balls]

A day in the life of an AFL General Manager of List Management and Strategy.

It was a gloomy morning in Melbourne's CBD. Disembodied umbrellas flowed through Lygon St and a distinct sense of dreariness accompanied them as they disappeared into various lobbies. I was getting impatient with the sedentary lifestyle that my Maserati Quattroporte had forced upon it for most of the drive to work but things were about to improve. I looked to my left and saw that there was a prune-like middle aged guy in the grey Porsche, with an Essendon sticker on the rear window, next to me at the lights. I rolled down my window, "Nice car, does it come in mens?" I then got my phone out and repeated the statement so I could snapchat it to the lads. I revved the modular twin-turbocharged, direct injected V8 petrol engine that was nestled in my beauty, letting all of Melbourne know that the only thing longer than my traffic offence history was my penis. The light turned green and I took off. The geriatric Essendon supporter stalled and I waved the bird out the window at him. There was a distinct splooshing sound as the panties of every woman in a five-kilometre radius were simultaneously moistened. It's a sound that I'm used to hearing as a List Manager.

I reached Ikon and drove across two lanes of traffic up onto the footpath. I heard a dull thud as the front of my car collided with a lowly Collingwood recruiter waiting for a 10am meeting. I got out of my car and yelled, 'fu** the police', before turning to the Collingwood recruiter, who was now sprawled on the pavement gasping for breath. 'Hey, a-hole, go get my car detailed.' I threw my keys at him and entered Ikon.

My entourage was waiting in the lobby. Agresta high-fived me and the sound was so crisp and glorious that it restored hearing to every deaf person in Australia and North Melbourne went into voluntary administration instantaneously. We walked to the lifts and saw that one had just been filled by some of the Corporate Services team. We approached the doors and, upon recognising our arrival, the Corporate Services team quickly vacated the lift, holding their hands over the door sensor as we got in. One asked for my autograph but I just scoffed and pressed the "door close" button.

We left the lift and the whole floor applauded us as we entered. We Are The Navy Blues played in the background and LoGiudice greeted us with firm handshakes. "You List Management boys are true heroes." We waved him off with a jerk off gesture and walked to the corner of the floor that was occupied by the Coaching team. One of them was about to take a bite out of the last jam doughnut when he saw us approaching. I snatched it from his chubby fingers. "You don't want this doughnut, do you?". "N-n-no, i-it's all yours," he stammered sycophantically. I threw the baked snack at the ceiling where it splattered into a sugary mess that dripped slowly onto the development coach's head, "I insist". My Recruitment bros all laughed raucously and we high-fived and slapped each others' arses.

Then we saw the hot Communications & Marketing officer who the club was courting to accept a managment position. "Why don't you come and play with the real men? Join the List Management team." She instantly nodded in agreement, "I didn't want to work with these Marketing nerds anyway." All the Marketing officers handed us the matters that they found too difficult to resolve, which was all of them. "We'll take it from here, chumps," I said. The rain stopped, the clouds cleared and a ray of sunlight shone through the window and illuminated myself and my team. Everyone in the Merketing team offered to perform fellatio on us but we politely refused: "that's your mum's job".

We chest bumped, high-fived, and then headed off to a strip club to meet Dodoro for a long lunch to discuss the Phillips trade. The end.*

*The events chronicled above may or may not be fictional and have been stolen and adapted.

See Stamos - there's no procrastination in there at all.

 

[VainGlorious]

Jesus Christ at the end of the day we’re all adults with the same access to the ignore button.

Are we all adults though

 

[VainGlorious]

Petruccelle is Italian for "******* quick and will score many goals outracing opponents"

Pretty sure.

It’s Italian for “Road Runner”

 

[LanceRomance]

Could we be waiting for The kelly deal, then We go to Geelong with 9 for the 14 and future first from wc? Geelong then get that top 10 they want and we get 14 and maybe 2020 17 to do deals for Papley and gc get that first they want the WS

I Think you might be right.

Geelong have been fairly reasonable with us on the trade table

 

[Blue__Balls]

Are we all adults though

KohPhi is extra adult, which is why he's been hit with the banhammer.