Cricket things that annoy you

[sabso]

He didn’t need to get dipper to voice himself. Dipper is just Billy’s natural voice pitched up a bit.

 

[PhatBoy]

Satire is the basis for both acts…and I love both immensely

Can’t you imagine Richie flicking between 7 & Fox lamenting the muppets and then moving to the BBL at night with Commentary Teams not even at the ground or the bullshit segments “Which BBL player has the best hair” - Richie would be going off asking where are the Classic Catches or taking the piss out of Big Dos’s or Punters Rug…

He’d be disgusted. Richie I think could appreciate niggle and banter. I think he would have loved the Bill/Tony stuff.

I think he’d be filthy at most of the current commentary. The Big Dos hype machine. The lack of research that goes into the visiting teams. Kerry’s schtick is just so f**king overplayed.

Here is my problem with Kerry at the most fundamental level.

Not many people will recall this but a long time ago Kerry was part of two commentary teams:

Firstly it was the Channel 9 ‘b’ team - which covered the Mercantile Mutual Cup when it was on Channel 9 in the early/mid 90s. They would show domestic games when nothing was happening in terms of international matches, Saturday and Sunday day time. He was also part of the ABC coverage a little later on with their test match radio coverage. He famously ate chilis on air with Harsha at the SCG and it was admittedly very funny listening and it got him a bit of a cult following and from there seemingly his style of calling began to change. He went from an annoying but cricket based caller to a jokester first and he’s lived off it since. It was funny a few times but it is the same act on repeat.

 

[sabso]

 

[western royboy]

He’d be disgusted. Richie I think could appreciate niggle and banter. I think he would have loved the Bill/Tony stuff.

I think he’d be filthy at most of the current commentary. The Big Dos hype machine. The lack of research that goes into the visiting teams. Kerry’s schtick is just so f**king overplayed.

Here is my problem with Kerry at the most fundamental level.

Not many people will recall this but a long time ago Kerry was part of two commentary teams:

Firstly it was the Channel 9 ‘b’ team - which covered the Mercantile Mutual Cup when it was on Channel 9 in the early/mid 90s. They would show domestic games when nothing was happening in terms of international matches, Saturday and Sunday day time. He was also part of the ABC coverage a little later on with their test match radio coverage. He famously ate chilis on air with Harsha at the SCG and it was admittedly very funny listening and it got him a bit of a cult following and from there seemingly his style of calling began to change. He went from an annoying but cricket based caller to a jokester first and he’s lived off it since. It was funny a few times but it is the same act on repeat.

I used to have a reasonable amount of contact with him. He’s a bit like the late Tony Greig in that in order to stay involved he’s had to play a character.

The ABC gig he loved and loved the relationship with the listeners and his fellow commentators. But every year they just kept on winding back the $$ and in the end he had no option.

He used to watch a hell of a lot of games and did enormous amounts of research.

I had him down for a couple of speaking engagements. Huge money spinners for the Club. Had to grab him from the airport and drive him down my way. The Car Trip (3hrs) was a riot.

Came time for his show and we had 150 punters hanging on every word. His first few minutes were stunted, awkward and confusing. I’m sitting at my table thinking to myself “this blokes no good, he’s frozen, this is a disaster!” I need not have worried…it was all part of the show, he clicked into gear, hit them between the eyes with his first gag and then continued to knock them out of the park, over and over again.

A very clever performer.

 

[Trojan90]

Satire is the basis for both acts…and I love both immensely

Can’t you imagine Richie flicking between 7 & Fox lamenting the muppets and then moving to the BBL at night with Commentary Teams not even at the ground or the bullshit segments “Which BBL player has the best hair” - Richie would be going off asking where are the Classic Catches or taking the piss out of Big Dos’s or Punters Rug…

Surely if he went again it would be something like this.

Richie in heaven but still stuck flicking between Fox/ch7 as options like the rest of us. Tony, a pain in Richie’s ass taking up the Daphne role. He’s got Kerry Packer to hook up some spiritual line to Bill, constantly telling him to get things under control down there. Bills loving retirement too much to care. Every ‘phone’ call gets derailed with Bill asking how Warnie and Deano are going.

WTF Tubby doing? Olympic diving? and where’s Chapelli?

Old Richie hating it all as much as the rest of us and is completely powerless unless he can get Bill, Tubby and Chapelli back together to bring some dignity back to the commentary box.

 

[western royboy]

Surely if he went again it would be something like this.

Richie in heaven but still stuck flicking between Fox/ch7 as options like the rest of us. Tony, a pain in Richie’s ass taking up the Daphne role. He’s got Kerry Packer to hook up some spiritual line to Bill, constantly telling him to get things under control down there. Bills loving retirement too much to care. Every ‘phone’ call gets derailed with Bill asking how Warnie and Deano are going.

WTF Tubby doing? Olympic diving? and where’s Chapelli?

Old Richie hating it all as much as the rest of us and is completely powerless unless he can get Bill, Tubby and Chapelli back together to bring some dignity back to the commentary box.

You are reading my mind - BINGO!

 

[PhatBoy]

I used to have a reasonable amount of contact with him. He’s a bit like the late Tony Greig in that in order to stay involved he’s had to play a character.

The ABC gig he loved and loved the relationship with the listeners and his fellow commentators. But every year they just kept on winding back the $$ and in the end he had no option.

He used to watch a hell of a lot of games and did enormous amounts of research.

I had him down for a couple of speaking engagements. Huge money spinners for the Club. Had to grab him from the airport and drive him down my way. The Car Trip (3hrs) was a riot.

Came time for his show and we had 150 punters hanging on every word. His first few minutes were stunted, awkward and confusing. I’m sitting at my table thinking to myself “this blokes no good, he’s frozen, this is a disaster!” I need not have worried…it was all part of the show, he clicked into gear, hit them between the eyes with his first gag and then continued to knock them out of the park, over and over again.

A very clever performer.

I actually get the impression based on what he used to say doing the MC Cup that he put a heap of work into it. Like the guy knew his stuff about grade cricket, he watched as much as he could. And he was a guy who was a specifically almost trained ‘state cricket’ commentator. He was very good at it albeit he had a very annoying voice when you were used to the A team.

And I don’t doubt that as a speaker or entertainer he’d be drilled, have his act down to a tee.

On television it comes across to me as scripted and contrived because let’s be honest - the game itself is not: the game is spontaneous and it happens as it happens, so scripted jokes and one liners that you’ve been sitting on are cliched and annoying (to me anyway) and when you have co-commentators saying ‘how long have you been sitting on that line for?’ it give an insight into his approach.

Veer back towards watching the game Kerry ffs. And for the love of God put that effort into watching the players overseas instead of reading a couple of articles presented to you before they arrive because at the moment that is what we are being presented with by most commentators. There’s no analysis of what happens.

When India got here there was no ‘ok this is what happened when NZ beat them’ it was just ‘they lost 3-0’ because that’s what made the headlines.

The reality was it was a really really good series where India admittedly played poorly but each test was in the balance for a long time and there’s been no analysis of why they lost, what happened, where they fell down etc.

It will be the same when England come over next year.

They’ll talk about how they score quick but they can be vulnerable when the ball does a bit. But no one will go into any detail about who it’s against, what the game situations are when that’s happened etc etc. And Kerry is emblematic of that.


Doug Walters is probably the best ex player we’ve ever had for that sort of thing because there seemed to be no act to anything, he just turned up and had a beer and answered questions. Len Pascoe was a nice guy but he was all business right down to asking what grade I played (I was club president and introduced him) so he could make a crack about how many wickets I took that day.

Doug just did a really good, considered, Q and A and was very honest and still very funny without having to be planned

 

[Cleavy]

Not being able to win MOTM unless you’re on the winning team.

 

[cats_09]

People thinking a pitch where 200 isn’t the par score is dangerous to bat on.

While I would have been happy for the match to not be that tight at the end, how much better is cricket when there's a genuine contest between bat & ball, and not just scores of 180+ every T20 match

 

[Black Diamond]

The 12th Man certainly couldn't send up the touring Pakistan or Indian players any more. For the best perhaps.

I didn't even realise Ramiz Raja was the guy's actual name until a decade after I first heard the '92-93 cassette.

 

[Pistol Night]

The 12th Man certainly couldn't send up the touring Pakistan or Indian players any more. For the best perhaps.

I didn't even realise Ramiz Raja was the guy's actual name until a decade after I first heard the '92-93 cassette.

“Some of them sound like questions, some of them sound like swear words. You can’t expect a man to analyse the game, commentate and then analyse three quarters of the alphabet and get a bloody name out it it. It’s just ludicrous” Bill was a true progressive thinker

 

[Rabish Binney]

One of my most prized possessions is a program from the Les Favel testimonial match in 1987 signed by all who took part. Neil Harvey batted that day too and still had it.

Speaking of Les Favell, he came to our country primary school in the mid 1970's to do a days cricket coaching (some other players came as well but I cant remember who they were; Jeff Hammond may have been one of them)

We were told by Les to sit down on the oval and he would do some talking before we started with the bats and balls.

One of my mates (who hated cricket and couldn't give a shit) was carrying on a bit and Les walked over, grabbed him by the arm, dragged him out in front of the rest of us and gave him a whack on the arse with a bat he was holding and told him to stop being disrespectful and that he (Favell) was not going to waste his time if 'you young blokes don't want to listen'

No joke. Imagine doing that today..

I was 10 at the time and my everlasting memory of that day (apart from my mate getting whacked) was that Favell was a very arrogant and grumpy man..

 

[PhatBoy]

Speaking of Les Favell, he came to our country primary school in the mid 1970's to do a days cricket coaching (some other players came as well but I cant remember who they were; Jeff Hammond may have been one of them)

We were told by Les to sit down on the oval and he would do some talking before we started with the bats and balls.

One of my mates (who hated cricket and couldn't give a shit) was carrying on a bit and Les walked over, grabbed him by the arm, dragged him out in front of the rest of us and gave him a whack on the arse with a bat he was holding and told him to stop being disrespectful and that he (Favell) was not going to waste his time if 'you young blokes don't want to listen'

No joke. Imagine doing that today..

I was 10 at the time and my everlasting memory of that day (apart from my mate getting whacked) was that Favell was a very arrogant and grumpy man..

I shouldn’t laugh because I know teachers who have had their careers ended for similar acts but this is outstanding

 

[Rabish Binney]

I shouldn’t laugh because I know teachers who have had their careers ended for similar acts but this is outstanding

Les Favell and Martin Chappell (father of) played A grade district baseball against each other in the 1950 / 60's in Adelaide.

There are stories of both of them sledging and abusing each other out on the field during games. The abuse as reported got quite nasty at times.

Martin Chappell also played district cricket and his reputation as an arrogant so & so was legendary.

 

[PhatBoy]

Les Favell and Martin Chappell (father of) played A grade district baseball against each other in the 1950 / 60's in Adelaide.

There are stories of both of them sledging and abusing each other out on the field during games. The abuse as reported got quite nasty at times.

Martin Chappell also played district cricket and his reputation as an arrogant so & so was legendary.

None of this surprises me

 

[Pistol Night]

Speaking of Les Favell, he came to our country primary school in the mid 1970's to do a days cricket coaching (some other players came as well but I cant remember who they were; Jeff Hammond may have been one of them)

We were told by Les to sit down on the oval and he would do some talking before we started with the bats and balls.

One of my mates (who hated cricket and couldn't give a shit) was carrying on a bit and Les walked over, grabbed him by the arm, dragged him out in front of the rest of us and gave him a whack on the arse with a bat he was holding and told him to stop being disrespectful and that he (Favell) was not going to waste his time if 'you young blokes don't want to listen'

No joke. Imagine doing that today..

I was 10 at the time and my everlasting memory of that day (apart from my mate getting whacked) was that Favell was a very arrogant and grumpy man..

As a kid i was at Dennis Lillee's testimonial at Adelaide Oval in about 1991 i think. He was fielding on the boundary and signing stuff between balls. I was getting sick of waiting so threw my cap onto the ground. He picked it up and said "The next campaigner that throws something isnt getting it ****n back". So technicaly ive been sledged by Dennis Lillee.

 

[Adelaide Hawk]

He got the players to voice themselves for the tight shorts bit, he could have done a good spud frawley though I reckon. I’ve been meaning to use maxys line to Lou Richards about being as funny as a fart in an elevator for some time but haven’t found an appropriate juncture yet.

Peter Sellers did a "fart in the elevator" scene in one of the Pink Panther movies. It was hilarious.

 

[Black Diamond]

Les Favell and Martin Chappell (father of) played A grade district baseball against each other in the 1950 / 60's in Adelaide.

There are stories of both of them sledging and abusing each other out on the field during games. The abuse as reported got quite nasty at times.

Martin Chappell also played district cricket and his reputation as an arrogant so & so was legendary.

I have heard similar second hand coming from one of Ian Chappell’s opponents when he played in Melbourne during WSC.

 

[peternorth]

The differing types of celebrations across the cricketing formats. Test is subdued in comparions, yet traditional with handshakes. ODI, a bit more energetic. T20, players run no sprint to the middle (if batting to win). Id like to see test players sprint from the changerooms for something different

 

[ioppolo]

The differing types of celebrations across the cricketing formats. Test is subdued in comparions, yet traditional with handshakes. ODI, a bit more energetic. T20, players run no sprint to the middle (if batting to win). Id like to see test players sprint from the changerooms for something different

The Windies boys made a good fist of it when they beat us last summer.

Test matches aren't always as close. When a team bowls out the batting team near the close of play on day 5 they're full of energy in their celebrations.

 

[peternorth]

The Windies boys made a good fist of it when they beat us last summer.

Test matches aren't always as close. When a team bowls out the batting team near the close of play on day 5 they're full of energy in their celebrations.

all good points made

 

[Black Diamond]

Pre-test ceremonies, particularly before every test in a series. I just don't think cricket is suited to them or vice versa and would rather they be done for the first test in a series only.