Health Depression

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Sebastian Balboa said:
This may sound so stupid to some but my level of happiness tends to depend if I'm feeling loved, well-liked and/or needed by a woman. I am relishing my singleness but there's this large hole in my heart. I think I'm conditioned toward always wanting to be with someone: to love and to be loved.

One day last week, I had this wave of loneliness wash over me, it lasted for almost the whole day, it was horrible.

There's this one woman, I think about her a lot, we had a coffee date yesterday and it was nice but afterwards I came to the conclusion that she's just not 'feeling' it for me the way I am for her.

In a nutshell, I feel very lonely without a significant other in my heart. No sure if this will lead me to depression.
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Sorry I do care, i actually didn't read this until now.

If she doesn't love you i'm sure there are others who will, go and find one.
 
I worked for two of the big four banks, and possibly the largest global finance company in the world for about 6 years. The environment was killing me, so i had to get out. Unfortunately I jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire by moving into private health insurance. What a mistake.

I had always suffered from pretty crippling depression to that point, but working in those above mentioned areas broke me. I remember the day it all fell apart quite well.

I was running a couple of minutes late (again) and knew 'it was going to screw up my stats'. I was about to walk through the the front door, when I stopped and stood there for about 5 minutes just looking up at the building. Then I did an about face and started walking the other way. I walked around the city for 9 hours.

It was only when a mate called and asked me to meet him at the pub that I stopped. When I caught up with him I had never felt so empty. I had lost my passion for the things I loved (even football), I did not know what the hell I was going to do with myself from that point on, and frankly at that stage I didn't care.

I just knew I couldn't go back. I never worked another day in that place.

That wasn't rock bottom though, over the next few months things got worse. But once I hit it, things almost immediately started to look up.

Without going into the mundane details, I got some help, found out a few things, sorted a few other things out, and now very rarely suffer from the chronic depression that had owned me for years (and even then I have to be very tired and hungover lol)

These days I make not even half the money I used to make in what is the epitome of a dead end job and i've never been happier.

One thing i've learned in life is that money, when you have it, can make you happy. But money cannot buy happiness. I'd rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable.
 
Sebastian Balboa said:
This may sound so stupid to some but my level of happiness tends to depend if I'm feeling loved, well-liked and/or needed by a woman. I am relishing my singleness but there's this large hole in my heart. I think I'm conditioned toward always wanting to be with someone: to love and to be loved.

One day last week, I had this wave of loneliness wash over me, it lasted for almost the whole day, it was horrible.

There's this one woman, I think about her a lot, we had a coffee date yesterday and it was nice but afterwards I came to the conclusion that she's just not 'feeling' it for me the way I am for her.

In a nutshell, I feel very lonely without a significant other in my heart. No sure if this will lead me to depression.
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I'll give you the tip - don't force it. Just put yourself out there and play it cool and things will happen. You've just got to be receptive to the opportunities as they present themselves, and make no mistake that they will eventually present (and I don't mean when you're 75 either :p)
 

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krisholio14 said:
I'll give you the tip - don't force it. Just put yourself out there and play it cool and things will happen. You've just got to be receptive to the opportunities as they present themselves, and make no mistake that they will eventually present (and I don't mean when you're 75 either :p)
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Thank you, mate, and also nicky, appreciate your words.

Trouble with me is I put all my hopes (and my heart) into someone I think will reciprocate, and when they don't...

It's a learned behaviour from a long marriage. It's difficult to be single again, the landscape's changed since 1992! But I'll take on board kris and nicky's words :thumbsu:

And kris, really happy to hear how you've turned things around, it's inspiring.
 
Provided it doesn't turn you into a needy doormat, I don't think anyone would disagree that a significant relationship increases happiness dramatically. Even people with pets are on average significantly happier.
 
My depression i had previously was being non social. It peaked on big events like nye etc. Because I usually wasn't out. Religion helped me bu obviously not everyone wants to go down that path.

Im also young and have BIG plans in life I think of whenever I'm feeling down. I have so many things I want to accomplish in my human life.
These include unlikely things like:
Climbing Everest past base camp
Climbing Killimanjaro
Visiting Kabul in Afghanistan etc.

Something in the future to aim for. Might as well dream big if depressions an emotional desease.
 
Sebastian Balboa said:
Sorry to go on about this, but after posting the above, what happens? I walk out of the cafe and into her! Cue awkward 2 minute conversation.Yeah, she's just not that into me :(
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Move on. I know a hell of a lot easier said than done. As I posted above Religion (Christianity) sounds like it could help someone in your situation, but isn't for everyone and I don't know your beliefs.
try praying just once:thumbsu:
Sorry if I come across as cramming this down your throat, but just try it, it's free and can't hurt and it helped me:thumbsu:

All the best mate
 
amazing isnt it. one month everything is rolling better than ever, the girl of your dreams is yours and wants to be with you after so much hard work only for a few horrid setbacks in a matter of 48 hours.

a) mates grandmother passes away and because of their faith she had to be buried within 24 hours, my sunday morning was caught up at the burial, at the same time a mate who passed away last year (didnt attend his funeral and burial due to forsaken work commitments, manager wouldnt give me an oppurtunity) visited his grave and an outpour of emotion took place.

b) with the girl, 2 arguments took place in a space of a few hours, first time we resolved it but second time she was incredibly pissed off at me, yesterday tried to resolve it and she was still quite angry let it be but still dont know what i did wrong beside a lack of communication to other parties.

c) great aunt on her death bed, grandma health scare yesterday

d) mate and far relative beaten up by a gang after attacking his taxi is now in hospital and may never see again.

e) with the missus it also involves some of my best mates which now i sense has caused a bit of a rift.

all these togethers even with anti depressants isnt helping. went into work today but it has been an absolute struggle the whole morning. the suicidal/death thoughts for the first time made an appearance after a while. as if i dont fear death or i wish to be dead.

too much to handle in a space of a few days opens a lot of demons from my past. i simply dont know what to do.
 
Hap Hapablap said:
amazing isnt it. one month everything is rolling better than ever, the girl of your dreams is yours and wants to be with you after so much hard work only for a few horrid setbacks in a matter of 48 hours.

a) mates grandmother passes away and because of their faith she had to be buried within 24 hours, my sunday morning was caught up at the burial, at the same time a mate who passed away last year (didnt attend his funeral and burial due to forsaken work commitments, manager wouldnt give me an oppurtunity) visited his grave and an outpour of emotion took place.

b) with the girl, 2 arguments took place in a space of a few hours, first time we resolved it but second time she was incredibly pissed off at me, yesterday tried to resolve it and she was still quite angry let it be but still dont know what i did wrong beside a lack of communication to other parties.

c) great aunt on her death bed, grandma health scare yesterday

d) mate and far relative beaten up by a gang after attacking his taxi is now in hospital and may never see again.

e) with the missus it also involves some of my best mates which now i sense has caused a bit of a rift.

all these togethers even with anti depressants isnt helping. went into work today but it has been an absolute struggle the whole morning. the suicidal/death thoughts for the first time made an appearance after a while. as if i dont fear death or i wish to be dead.

too much to handle in a space of a few days opens a lot of demons from my past. i simply dont know what to do.
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Mate, that is a lot to deal with, I am feeling for you!

With some of my close mates we talk about that IF one were to kill oneself, there's gonna be a helluva lot of people that's gonna miss you: mums, dads, sisters, brothers, neices, nephews, cousins, grandparents, best mates, female friends, your favourite shopkeeper, etc.

We are one, an individual, but our orbit is huge. We revolve around alot of other earthly bodies who in some way rely on us, need us, want us, love us in their lives, too. They may not know it or say it, but we're important to them too, we're important to some people out there.

I have a school mate whose dad suicided about 17 years ago, he was probably early 40s when he did it, and it still ****s with my mate and his brothers TO THIS DAY. My mate carries this sadness, this unspoken 'loss' about him. He was a go-getter type of mate, but since his dad died he's lost a lot of that.

I reckon if we can lose the stigma of suicide and can openly talk about it to whoever, then that can only be a good thing.

Personally, I'm not suicidal, but I have some side issues I have written about here earlier. I think what's also helped me along these lines is that I have alot of empathy for people, my earlier life was shitty as, but I have been able to turn this around to a positive.

People love you, man, you may not appreciate this right now, but it's true.
 
What's the most painless way to commit suicide?
 
Stayin' alive

This Mental Health Service Area covers: Australian Standard Geographical Classification 2003 edition
East Gippsland, Wellington, Baw Baw, Bass Coast, Latrobe and South Gippsland (Local Government Areas). ....AREA MAP

Psychiatric triage (information, assessment and referral)
24 hours a day, 7 days a week Telephone: 1300 363 322
 
Noddy Holder said:
What's the most painless way to commit suicide?
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Drowning apparently.

CLUBMEDhurst said:
Stayin' alive

This Mental Health Service Area covers: Australian Standard Geographical Classification 2003 edition
East Gippsland, Wellington, Baw Baw, Bass Coast, Latrobe and South Gippsland (Local Government Areas). ....AREA MAP

Psychiatric triage (information, assessment and referral)
24 hours a day, 7 days a week Telephone: 1300 363 322
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Do these folk help with autism related issues?
 

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Noddy Holder said:
What's the most painless way to commit suicide?
Click to expand...


Why exactly are you asking a question like that? If you are considering giving it a go, please consider options, help is available, depression will in most cases pass or at least become manageable with proper treatment.

Like a previous poster has stated, you will be hurting a lot of people if you go down that path, or even attempt it. Do you really want to do that? You owe it to yourself, if not to others to try and get through this.
 
krisholio14 said:
Adult.
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Would depend on geographical area. The contacts I posted were more for psychiatric crisis.
Unfortunately services for adult autism are pretty scarce (in Victoria at least).

This from the Autism Vic website

There are currently no publicly funded adult Autism Spectrum Disorder assessment clinics in Victoria. If you (or a someone close to you) are an adult seeking an assessment the best option is to consult a psychologist who has some experience with Autism Spectrum Disorder. They will ask you a lot of questions about your childhood, your experiences at school and as an adult, and may do some psychological testing. This information will be used to help make a diagnosis.
Autism Victoria is able to assist you to locate an experienced psychologist.
If you, or the adult suspected of having an Autism Spectrum Disorder, also has a mental health condition such as depression, anxiety disorder or behavioural disorder, then it is recommended that you also consult a psychiatrist. You can contact our Information Line on 1300 308 699 for a list of psychiatrists in your area.
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http://http://www.autismvictoria.org.au/services/getting_assessed.php#adults
 
CLUBMEDhurst said:
Would depend on geographical area. The contacts I posted were more for psychiatric crisis.
Unfortunately services for adult autism are pretty scarce (in Victoria at least).

This from the Autism Vic website



http://http://www.autismvictoria.org.au/services/getting_assessed.php#adults
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Yeah i've found a place that can help me with that and a couple of other issues, it's just a bit pricey for where i'm at right now and have noticed options in this state are limited.
 
Im just turning 18 in a few weeks, finished school last year. I do miss my friends although I dont know if I had any friends. For 5 years I was with them we were friends but I think school friends. I never did invite them over and miss them and it is 'depressing' I am quite lonely and do blame myself for not trying harder. I didnt go out much with them every weekend and my whole year group in fact weren't really tight as so such as go to a mates house and have a pissup.

I do miss the fun times we had and shared. It is sad and I feel sad. Every morning when I wake up I have that sense of regret and would do anything to take it back and start all over again.
 
Flinch said:
Im just turning 18 in a few weeks, finished school last year. I do miss my friends although I dont know if I had any friends. For 5 years I was with them we were friends but I think school friends. I never did invite them over and miss them and it is 'depressing' I am quite lonely and do blame myself for not trying harder. I didnt go out much with them every weekend and my whole year group in fact weren't really tight as so such as go to a mates house and have a pissup.

I do miss the fun times we had and shared. It is sad and I feel sad. Every morning when I wake up I have that sense of regret and would do anything to take it back and start all over again.
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Facebook is your friend in this instance - nearly every 18 year old on the planet has a facebook acaount, just "friend" them if you haven't already and set up an event, a get together at a pub etc nothing too full on, just drinks. You might be surprised, everyone might jump at the chance to catch up and you may get a second chance to make an effort and nurture some good friendships.
 
powerful girl said:
Why exactly are you asking a question like that? If you are considering giving it a go, please consider options, help is available, depression will in most cases pass or at least become manageable with proper treatment.

Like a previous poster has stated, you will be hurting a lot of people if you go down that path, or even attempt it. Do you really want to do that? You owe it to yourself, if not to others to try and get through this.
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Noddy, you'd be hurting a lot of people here on BF, me for one of them.
How is the job change going, any closer to something better than what you have now!
 
FERRIS said:
Noddy, you'd be hurting a lot of people here on BF, me for one of them.
How is the job change going, any closer to something better than what you have now!
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That's what's depressing me. At the end of last term the principal said that due to a decrease in student numbers we were overstaffed for next year and whether there were a couple of teachers who would be willing to move on. As I don't like it at my school I volunteered to move on and put in my resignation for the end of the end of the year. Over the last 4 weeks I have put in about thirty applications for teaching jobs. I have had about ten knockbacks so far. All the feedback is that they want graduate teachers because they are cheaper to employ. So I am getting very despondent and disheartened.

I have two mortgages, the one I'm living in and an investment property that is negatively geared. I probably have enough money in the bank to last me a month without work. I would happily sell my investment property but my mum, a pensioner, is living in it, so I would be putting her out of her home if I sold it.

I would take a job overseas but I have two dogs and it would break my heart to give them away.

The only option really open to me at the moment is to go and teach in the Northern Territory where there are a heap of job opportunities for teachers and great money. But I think I would only be able to handle living there for a year or two so it doesn't solve my problems in the long run. It would only give me more experience for schools in Victoria to knock back.
The other option is to move into Melbourne and just do casual relief teaching. However I don't think casual teaching would be enough money to support two mortgages, especially since you don't get paid during the holidays, Unless I got an evening or night job as well.

I am just really scared I am going to end up without work next year and lose my houses. It doesn’t really bother me losing my houses as I'm on my own but I just hate the thought of putting my mum out of her home.
 
Noddy Holder said:
That's what's depressing me. At the end of last term the principal said that due to a decrease in student numbers we were overstaffed for next year and whether there were a couple of teachers who would be willing to move on. As I don't like it at my school I volunteered to move on and put in my resignation for the end of the end of the year. Over the last 4 weeks I have put in about thirty applications for teaching jobs. I have had about ten knockbacks so far. All the feedback is that they want graduate teachers because they are cheaper to employ. So I am getting very despondent and disheartened.

I have two mortgages, the one I'm living in and an investment property that is negatively geared. I probably have enough money in the bank to last me a month without work. I would happily sell my investment property but my mum, a pensioner, is living in it, so I would be putting her out of her home if I sold it.

I would take a job overseas but I have two dogs and it would break my heart to give them away.

The only option really open to me at the moment is to go and teach in the Northern Territory where there are a heap of job opportunities for teachers and great money. But I think I would only be able to handle living there for a year or two so it doesn't solve my problems in the long run. It would only give me more experience for schools in Victoria to knock back.
The other option is to move into Melbourne and just do casual relief teaching. However I don't think casual teaching would be enough money to support two mortgages, especially since you don't get paid during the holidays, Unless I got an evening or night job as well.

I am just really scared I am going to end up without work next year and lose my houses. It doesn’t really bother me losing my houses as I'm on my own but I just hate the thought of putting my mum out of her home.
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This might seem like a daunting position to be in right now, but try and work through it logically, it doesn't seem that difficult from an outsiders perspective, but I understand that you may not be in the headspace right now to think that way, but here are a few things that you could take into consideration.

1. I know several teachers, 2 this year were offered positions in the week before school commenced, so there seems to be a lot of activity at the beginning of the school year, so remain hopeful at least until then.

2. You could definitely do relief teaching, that would bring in some $$$'s but have you considered tutoring as a supplement?? pays quite well as I understand it. May not be ideal, but might get you through.

3. You could move to the NT or country, much more likely to get a position and at least gives you time to consider your options and may even clear your head a little in the process, you might meet some great people and achieve something special.

4. You don't have to teach, (unless of course you want to) there are lots of other jobs out there that someone with a teaching qualification could look at eg; training for an RTO or in the business sector.

5. Get out of teaching all together and go work in a pub pulling beers! A job like that might be just the ticket, walk in walk out, no stress and not bad money either, you might have to adjust your lifestyle a bit, but it doesn't have to be a permanent change, and will give you some breathing space.

Like I said, it may not seem that easy for you as it appears that you are not in the best place right now, but please just take a few minutes to think outside the square a bit and consider that you have options- lots of them.

all the best
 
Sounds like you're limiting yourself. Just because you have experience teaching doesn't mean you have to do it.

You could try & get a cushy office job in the public service. It's far less stessful & you'll probably earn more money.
 
Noddy-

Take a deep breath.

You've got an education, a qualification, and opportunities (which you probably can't see- but trust me, they're there).

Worst case scenario looks like taking your dogs out to the NT for a year, earning good money, and spending your spare time applying (and ultimately, finding) a job you want, where you want.

It will work out.
 

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Health Depression

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