Society & Culture Disgraceful behaviour of parents at kids sporting games

[BACCS]

Heard a discussion on the radio Saturday morning about the disgraceful behaviour of some parents at kids sporting games, ranging from soccer to netball to footy etc.

There was one story about an opposition coach calling 7 year old girls 'bitches' at a netball game; another about a parent king hitting the coach at a 10 year olds footy game because he wasn't happy with the coaches tactics, in front of all kids and parents (criminal charges were laid); and then finally a soccer match where the consistent abuse from parents on the sideline caused an 8 year old boy to wet his pants in fear.

I know this has been going on for years, but it does seem a lot worse in recent times. And it must be noted that these parents are in the minority.

Has anybody got stories they care to share? Would be interested to hear how these people are dealt with, and if there is anything that can be done to stamp this out of kids sports.

 

[Doss]

A few years ago, I was watching my brother (who was 11 at the time) playing under 12s footy for a WRFL team.

My brother was a little on the portly side, and is also a blood nut. Anyway, despite his weight issues, he was having a field day in this particular game- at one stage, he kicked three goals in a row from the pocket by reading the play and cleverly getting into space. The opposing team had fallen about ten goals behind, and it was nearly three quarter time. All over, red rover.

Well, the parents of one of the kids on the opposing team clearly thought a well aimed rev-up might inspire the opposition to one last rally. So he starts bellowing the usual stuff from the boundary line; you know, "come on *insert team name*, work for each other, you're still in it", and so forth.

All good, but then he decided he'd add in one last bit of advice for the team: "And guys, get on that little shit (pointing at my brother), that fat red-haired c***".

I'm normally a pretty even mannered person, but I went up to this guy, absolutely furious. Started with, "Hey you, that's my brother you're talking about". Pretty likely to pull him up in his tracks, right?

Not on your nelly. His response to that? "Think I care whose f****** brother he is? Get f***** c***".

I was so incredulous and disbelieving that I was almost lost for words. I finally managed to spit out something along the lines of, "What on earth is wrong with you? They're kids! These kids are 11 FFS!"

He then told me to go forth and multiply again, and also threw a massive haymaker at me. Luckily I saw it coming, ducked and avoided it. At that point three other parents from his team grabbed him and dragged him away.

It was unbelievable, really.

Anyway, it had a happier ending. The little shit, the little fat red-haired expletive, ended up with eight goals and his team won by 15 goals. And the abusive father was banned for life by both his son's club and the WRFL from ever attending a game in the competition again.

 

[Keys]

. And the abusive father was banned for life by both his son's club and the WRFL from ever attending a game in the competition again.

This is the way to stamp it out - get rid of the arseh*le parents

 

[BACCS]

This is the way to stamp it out - get rid of the arseh*le parents

What must home life be for the kids of these parents though, if that's how they act during sporting games? I shudder to think how bad it must be.

 

[PP34]

What must home life be for the kids of these parents though, if that's how they act during sporting games? I shudder to think how bad it must be.

Sometimes parents can just be real f-wits at junior sports. For some, it's not even regular.

I know some parents who have acted quite poorly at junior sports and they're fine at home.

Having played, watched and officiated junior sports, I've got a few I can remember. I'll have a think.

 

[Doss]

What must home life be for the kids of these parents though, if that's how they act during sporting games? I shudder to think how bad it must be.

Very true and very sad.

I tend to think most of these pathetic types are re-directing their frustrations at whatever is wrong in their lives.

Having said that, the guy I had the above exchange with just seemed genuinely unhinged. His words and subsequent over the top reactions were too disproportionate to deduce otherwise.

 

[PP34]

The worst type are the ones who are trying to live through their kids as they regret something from their childhood or they wish they could've been good at sport.

 

[kickazz]

Heard the stories, but it took me actually seeing it happen to realise how dirty and ugly it is. It makes you feel - dunno how to describe it but it is so off putting.

Instance I saw was a dad at an AUssie Rules game on a weekend up in Sydney. I was having a kick with some mates and there was an U12 (around that age anyway) game going on. This dad was having a go at the teenage ump, players, etc. I felt embarrassed for him. Just came across as a real loser.

Even the ones that barrack too hard for their kids can be bad. What I mean is stuff that we might say at an AFL game, like - "Come on, pick up your man" etc in an aggressive way. Seen it at indoor soccer too.

I remember playing U12s cricket as a kid and all the parents were great. Good fun, good natured people.

Is it getting worse? I'm probably not in a position to say but it sounds like it is. Why? Maybe it's just a reflection of the shift from society to the individual. Maybe it's a resut of the 'over-parenting' types, who read all these books about how to ensure their kids get ahead and learn to be ultra-competetive.

Or maybe,some of them are just jerks...

 

[blueboy25]

Most sunday mornings I take my two dogs for a long walk and one of the local parks we walk across, is used for junior soccer games. Some of the parents literally run and up down the side of the pitch constantly yelling instructions to their kids who would not be older than 8yo. The poor coach would have no hope getting a consistent message across to the kids, with all these other parents putting their two cents in.

My son is 3yo and in a couple of years will be playing Auskick and cricket or whatever sport he wants to play and I can't wait to be their watching him learn. I was quite lucky that my parents came to all of my cricket and footy games during my junior years and were never abusive and got involved with helping the club out.

A couple of my mates parents never went to their games and would just drop them off and pick them back up a few hours later. One mate won his first cricket grand final at the age of 24 and said it was the first time his parents had seem him play which I thought was incredibly sad.

 

[Lets Roar like '44]

They're just **** head parents thats all. I would have thought watching your son/ daughter play sport would be one of the more enjoyable aspects of parenthood.

 

[Doss]

I can understand, if not condone, a parent getting angry and abusive if their child gets hurt on the field. It's instinct to protect your own.

But actively going out of your way to abuse another kid with no provocation, like what happened in my story above?

Completely, utterly unfathomable to me.

 

[Caesar]

I used to referee junior soccer growing up, and throwing out parents from the ground was a semi-regular occurrence. Not a fun experience when you are only 14/15/16 yourself, but the ground staff were usually pretty supportive. Often the coaches were too.

The best part about being promoted to senior football was not having to deal with parents any more.

 

[courtjester]

A lot of soccer mums are aspirational wenches who think their little 8yo with his spiked haircut is probably the greatest junior soccer player ever. Well, he isn't.

One thing I've noticed having my own kids is that most parents drive their kids an insane amount to be successful. When I was a kid, sport was about enjoyment with mates and community. Now it's all about individual stuff.

 

[Gough]

I used to referee junior soccer growing up, and throwing out parents from the ground was a semi-regular occurrence. Not a fun experience when you are only 14/15/16 yourself, but the ground staff were usually pretty supportive. Often the coaches were too.

The best part about being promoted to senior football was not having to deal with parents any more.

I umpired junior footy when I was in high school and almost never did you get anything beyond the odd bit of barracking from the parents. I can't help thinking this ugly parent thing is a phenomenon that has got significantly worse these days. I think that as the rewards for succeeding have increased so has the pressure that some parent place on their child and this sort behaviour results from that.*

*Except for tennis which has a long and colourful history of whack job parents.

 

[blueboy25]

One thing I've noticed having my own kids is that most parents drive their kids an insane amount to be successful. When I was a kid, sport was about enjoyment with mates and community. Now it's all about individual stuff.

I remember playing footy as a kid, all the mums would all sit together having a great old chin wag, with a nice cup of tea and a slice of cake.

While the dads were all different, some would be scattered around the boundary standing by themselves so they could get a uninterrupted view of the game and then you had the hen-pecked dads who were forced to sit with the mums.

But all in all the parents all got on and would meet socially as well. I doubt that would happen much these days.

 

[placebo]

During an under 15's game many a moon ago, there was a scuffle between our player and the opposition, nothing serious, just a couple pushes and shoves...and then all of a sudden one of the opposition supporters jumped onto the ground and started laying punches into a couple of our players which obviously prompted our parents to come onto the field and pull the guy away.

Another time, same year, I was in a scuffle with an opposition player near a boundary line...things settled down and then all of a sudden, two drunk fathers on the sideline starting telling the other guy to punch me and smack my head in...ultimately he threw a few, didn't really connect, got red carded and was cheered off by his parents. Pretty disgusting.

People are just ****ed.

 

[FlyingBurittoBro]

I used to referee junior soccer growing up, and throwing out parents from the ground was a semi-regular occurrence. Not a fun experience when you are only 14/15/16 yourself, but the ground staff were usually pretty supportive. Often the coaches were too.

The best part about being promoted to senior football was not having to deal with parents any more.

This you?

 

[Punchy Bassett]

A lot of soccer mums are aspirational wenches who think their little 8yo with his spiked haircut is probably the greatest junior soccer player ever. Well, he isn't.

One thing I've noticed having my own kids is that most parents drive their kids an insane amount to be successful. When I was a kid, sport was about enjoyment with mates and community. Now it's all about individual stuff.

Now it's all about parents thinking about the $$$$$ their offspring can make if they are successful.

 

[Stratton_Gun]

A few years ago when I was in U/15's, I was at a final of our other U/15 team because my team didn't make it. Was a grand final from memory. During the match, our best player was targeted because the opposition coach told his team to get stuck into. I think the issue was that he had a bad shoulder or something and they kept targeting it. Apparently even they guy that was playing on him even came up to him at the start of the match and said "Sorry, it wasn't my idea but I have been told to do it" or something to that effect. I didn't hear of this until the end of the game. I didn't actually hear about this until the end of the game. Anyway I was on the other side of the ground but one of the other guys from my team who was watching the game with me came back after going to get a pie or something and said that one of the parents had gotten into it with the opposition coach. My Dad was there so I was just hoping it wasn't him. It wasn't but it was the Dad of the kid that was being targeted. He pushed their coach and wasn't happy with the treatment apparently. Rightfully so imo although he shouldn't have touched their coach.
From memory Caroline Wilson's son played for the opposition teams and had a few choice words to say about our club in the media. I didn't hear though

 

[TheSituation23]

A few years ago when I was in U/15's, I was at a final of our other U/15 team because my team didn't make it. Was a grand final from memory. During the match, our best player was targeted because the opposition coach told his team to get stuck into. I think the issue was that he had a bad shoulder or something and they kept targeting it. Apparently even they guy that was playing on him even came up to him at the start of the match and said "Sorry, it wasn't my idea but I have been told to do it" or something to that effect. I didn't hear of this until the end of the game. I didn't actually hear about this until the end of the game. Anyway I was on the other side of the ground but one of the other guys from my team who was watching the game with me came back after going to get a pie or something and said that one of the parents had gotten into it with the opposition coach. My Dad was there so I was just hoping it wasn't him. It wasn't but it was the Dad of the kid that was being targeted. He pushed their coach and wasn't happy with the treatment apparently. Rightfully so imo although he shouldn't have touched their coach.
From memory Caroline Wilson's son played for the opposition teams and had a few choice words to say about our club in the media. I didn't hear though

somebody willingly fornicated with her ......

 

[RoosterLad]

IVF surely.

 

[Hatchy1992]

I use to ref junior touch football when I was 15-17, most of the games I officiated in I noticed the parents were quite supportive of both the players and the officials, however, one game I officiated in for 14 girls there was one incident where I had to report a mother. The opposition put the ball down in the corner and after consultation with my partner (who was in the corner) I awarded it. Anyway she believed the player was tagged and ended up directing harsh words at both me and my partner saying "get your eyes checked you morons" on top of other things

She was told to shut it by the parents and coaches and after the game the coach came up and apologised to both of us personally. I remember notifying the senior officials after the game and the next week they had ground officials watching that team closely.

So it's definitely a small minority of parents but that small minority can put a sour taste in your mouth for years afterwards.

 

[Colin D'Cops]

Umpired Aussie Rules for six seasons locally.

Definitely the most abuse I received was at the younger age brackets (10s/12s/14s). The parents took it 10x more seriously than the kids. Tolerated a fair bit of yelling and swearing in my first couple of seasons, toughened me up a bit though so don't regret it.

16s and above was generally pretty good, heat of the moment comments by the players were easy to deal with. 50 or a free kick reversal would prompt the coach to have a word with them, or they figured it out for themselves. Parents have no control over their kids at this stage so they stop giving a damn.

 

[PP34]

A lot of soccer mums are aspirational wenches who think their little 8yo with his spiked haircut is probably the greatest junior soccer player ever. Well, he isn't.

One thing I've noticed having my own kids is that most parents drive their kids an insane amount to be successful. When I was a kid, sport was about enjoyment with mates and community. Now it's all about individual stuff.

There have always been parents driving their kids to success.

Plenty of famous pro sports players have had pushy parents.

 

[Thistle]

My brother was playing under 13's cricket and they were a player short so the club decided to play one of the the kid's younger brother. All he did was field and my bro's team ended up winning. The younger brother was 11 so two years younger and technically it was against the rules even though he was a registered club player.

When the opposition found out they went to whoever was in charge of the league and demanded a tribunal which all the players and parents had attend quite a few times and was ongoing for about 2 months.

Most of the opposition kids really didn't care and were getting embarrassed about the whole thing but it was the parents who insisted this happened. It definitely took some enjoyment out of the game from my bro's team so surely it would have done so more for the others. The game would have been uneven had they not fielded the youngster an its really sad that some parents care more about winning than having their kids have fun.