Dwayne ' shit commentator ' Russell - PART 2 in 3d

[Pistol Night]

Really trying to get something going with this "Obnoxious Weed" nickname for Sam Weiderman.

Something obnoxious about it, that's for sure

I’ve heard of noxious weeds but that’s a new one. I guess Dwayne has his own language

 

[Uncle_Leo]

“Sam Draper, who they plucked from playing soccer in East Sussex in the UK”

Spare me Pipe

 

[burge13]

Right out of the playbook of Derwayne's Greatest Hits, including:

From the paint
Off the shoe
Shake and bake
That's as good as it gets
Chaos Ball
Cream dripping off it

It's bemusing because he is not a bad play by play commentator, he keeps up with what is going on and isn't like BT where he consistently gets players names wrong. But the hyperbolic statements, feigning excitement at strange times and corny, overused catchphrases along with his general wacky behaviour distract from whatever match he's calling.

How did you miss "half"?!

Half held
Half spoilt
Half a kick away
Etc

 

[janty]

If there's "foot candy" and "hand candy" what is just your stock standard "candy"?

 

[branedotorg]

i do like that he says "X throws it to Y" pretty often, rather than using flick, shuffle, get etc.

we all know most teams have a few who repeatedly get away with throwing the ball and the commentary teams won't call it out

 

[janty]

Dwayne calling Suns/Dees.

 

[peternorth]

i do like that he says "X throws it to Y" pretty often, rather than using flick, shuffle, get etc.

we all know most teams have a few who repeatedly get away with throwing the ball and the commentary teams won't call it out

saying flick a lot tonight

 

[freddy mercury]

Please tell Dwayne its Hunter not ****ing Hunner

 

[SuperMal]

What kind of overfilled bladder of human excrement calls a game a ‘classic’…when one team is so obviously robbed?

I mean seriously..the man is a JERK.

 

[conrad_437]

I can't think of any game more fit for Der-Wayne to commentate than the dead Sunday twilight timeslot between the two least popular Melbourne teams, where the combine scoreline is 1.15 halfway through the second quarter. Deserves the worst

 

[Wayne Dwop]

Please tell Dwayne its Hunter not ******* Hunner

and his favourite year of 2020 comes out as Twenny twenny

 

[Pistol Night]

If a game starts at 2.30 has Dwayno pulled the old "time to see the dentist" yet?

 

[Mentallo]

He did several play on names on the weekend.

The 2 that spring to mind...."Petracca...On the right track" after kicking a goal

and

Max (Ben?) King kicks a goal "And here come all the Kings men"

There were a couple of others which I have thankfully forgotten.

Spare me Deeerrrrwayne, you ain't funny and are an embarrassment to the pro's like Adam Papalia and Jason Bennett who are actually good at what they do unlike you.

 

[janty]

He did several play on names on the weekend.

The 2 that spring to mind...."Petracca...On the right track" after kicking a goal

and

Max (Ben?) King kicks a goal "And here come all the Kings men"

There were a couple of others which I have thankfully forgotten.

Spare me Deeerrrrwayne, you ain't funny and are an embarrassment to the pro's like Adam Papalia and Jason Bennett who are actually good at what they do unlike you.

“Kysiah on FIRE”

“Weary McCreery” from a couple of weeks ago

 

[TheJanuaryMan]

"You can hear the leaves Russell as Dwayne sneaks up on you"

 

[jefffff34]

Wreck em Rowell…

 

[peternorth]

What kind of overfilled bladder of human excrement calls a game a ‘classic’…when one team is so obviously robbed?

I mean seriously..the man is a JERK.

Which game?

 

[SuperMal]

If a game starts at 2.30 has Dwayno pulled the old "time to see the dentist" yet?

Oh god…please don’t!

 

[SuperMal]

Which game?

Point well made…but Suns/Demons

 

[SuperMal]

Was that after the show?

Oh man….slow audience here….

 

[Partridge]

Right out of the playbook of Derwayne's Greatest Hits, including:

From the paint
Off the shoe
Shake and bake
That's as good as it gets
Chaos Ball
Cream dripping off it

It's bemusing because he is not a bad play by play commentator, he keeps up with what is going on and isn't like BT where he consistently gets players names wrong. But the hyperbolic statements, feigning excitement at strange times and corny, overused catchphrases along with his general wacky behaviour distract from whatever match he's calling.

The first one should be a straight execution. The second one a severe beating.

Actually, all of them should see the firing squad come out.

With machine guns.

 

[Partridge]

I generally don't think he's that bad, but there's definitely some irritating habits. He's the king of trying to con the viewer that the game is still up for grabs after a couple if junk time goals to the team that's obviously going to lose, but he took it to the next level today with Koschitzke lining up for a set shot and he goes the patented "And NOW... for three in a row to the Hawks!!" Dwayne Russell routine. The margin was like 85 points with four minutes to go at the time.

He topped that one many years ago.

Remember the Geelong-Melbourne massace in 2011 - the one with the 186-point margin? Halfway through the third quarter, the margin was around 140-odd points by then (not Geelong's score, the margin), and Jack Watts kicked the most standard, regulation set shot goal from 30 metres out. I'll never forget, Russell the supreme idiot breathlessly told us it was "a work of art".

There's no vocabulary big enough to explain how stupid and incompetent the fool is.

 

[SuperMal]

The first one should be a straight execution. The second one a severe beating.

Actually, all of them should see the firing squad come out.

With machine guns.

And the Blackadder ‘gabbling Corporal’…

“123 FIRE! See I’m a gabbler me, no finesse, but it gets the job done!”

 

[Mentallo]

Wreck em Rowell…

Yep uses it all the time!!!

 

[Alesana]

Could be worse, Bruce could still be commentating. "Ball bubbling, bubbling about"