Official Team Thread East Side Hawks :: Season 30 :: The Festival of the Biggie! Headliner: The Jesus!

[Strigoi]

Brings a new meaning to the term catfish, I was expecting:
View attachment 1026455

Aw, that’s so cute!

Hold on...that was the wrong picture I posted. Sorry about that. It was from quite a while ago. Me taking you home the morning after a wild night on the town. Mrs. Chipmunk was none too happy.

 

[Strigoi]

Meanwhile off the field it was worse than a clapped out Holden running on one cylinder.

I have no idea what you said there.
Im still learning Australian, be kind.

 

[eth-dog]

Yeah, player ratings were so one-sided, we had 39% of the total DT in that match. For a Fine conditions game, our team total DT was more like what you'd see in a bad game under Warm conditions. Barely anyone (Biggie, eth-dog, and larrikin) got a positional win that round, so no bonus points in the ratings. The sim flogged us.

Yeah, well, 75% of the way through so show us the new leaderboard

 

[Tonga Bob]

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Round 12 - Sun Oct 18th, 2020
East Side Hawks 10.11.71 lost to Coney Island Warriors 31.10.196 @ The Eyrie
By Chipmunk

This was a milestone game of sorts – but not in a good way. We both sat at 3-8 at the start of the day, 2 wins outside the 8, and were looking for a late push for finals.

The OP was written by serial_thrilla and reimagined both teams as comic book heroes. It was rematch round, after our 2 point loss against the same opposition in Round 1.

Unfortunately, the game itself was a disaster for us. The Warriors scored 31 goals, their highest score on record and highest winning margin, and this was the 2nd highest score we have ever conceded. Amazingly, the Warriors have scored 31 against us before. This was also the second highest winning margin in SFA history. The last time a team reached that high was in Season 20.

PMBangers scored the first goal in the first minute to put us 6-0 up. That was the highlight of the game from a Hawks point of view. He did finish on 4.3 for a revival of sorts. Agent93 rallied the troops with 20 disposals and 4 tackles.

The equation was clear. We would need to win all our remaining games to make finals.

Ed note: GAGF Warriors.

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[Agent93]

Three quarter time! It's Time for a leaderboard update!



Looks like por_please_ya and eth-dog are making moves.

You know what else makes moves? A dance break!

 

[por_please_ya]

 

[Chipmunk]

 

[Agent93]

The larrikin award

We here at East Side are in the business of recognising what makes this league great, and that is the banter. For that we have the larrikin award, which is named after the game record holder for the Hawks, and your current teammate, larrikin.

Following each round, players nominate their favourite match-thread posters for that week, which means this award is selected by you, the players, arguably making it the most important award for the festival. Two Hawks voted in every round this season, so it's worth recognising eth-dog and Chipmunk for making the effort to put in their votes each and every week.

The award is scored by taking the percentage of votes a player receives for each game, so there are some situations where a player may receive more raw votes because they accumulated them in weeks where more players voted, but not be ranked higher overall.

The round mound of sound Biggie was the victor in Season 28, following a two season run by The Jesus, and TY24 most recently won the award in Season 29. Who takes it out in Season 30? Read-on dear reader:

In 5th place for Season 30 is:
Agent93





Note: You'll see it in the coming 4 scores, but I was way off the pace. The top 4 dominated the voting.​

 

[Agent93]

Clearly none of the larrikin voters voted for me in the beez

 

[PMBangers]

Top 4 of porps, eth, chip and myself I'm guessing, Eth and Chip top 2

 

[serial_thrilla]

4. PMB
3. ethdog
2. Por
1. Chip

 

[Agent93]

Round 13 - Sun Oct 25th, 2020
Baghdad Bombers 13.14.90 lost to East Side Hawks 18.12.120 @ Abdu Prison
By por_please_ya

Hawks were on a three-game winning streak against the Bombers were therefore on a three-game losing streak. This didn’t bode well considering our previous misfortune with the Sim. Even Loonerty made this prediction:

Oh good. It'll be the Bombers that end our season.

Conditions were warm (but warm doesn't mean ANYTHING to the campaigner Sim) at Abdu Prison. We started well surprisingly enough. Golumless with the first point and larrikin with the first goal. It’s an absolute massacre from there, and we keep the Bombers goalless until miggs scores at 22 minutes. By the end of it we are sitting pretty at 6.4.40 to the Bombers 1.6.12. New full forward Itsmyshow already has 3 majors #Itsshowtime

We continue to dominate in the second, and despite the Bombers’ best efforts, they trail by 33 points. IMS is now on 6 goals! Can he reach 10?!

It's not even partway through the third term but IMS continues exerting his dominance in the forward line:

3 : 9.55 {FF} - Itsmyshow wants to get on with proceedings.
3 : 9.59 {FF} - Itsmyshow from thirty metres.
3 : 10.03 {FF} - It's a goal. A goal to Itsmyshow.

Bombers try desperately to get back on the wagon (MITS kicks 2) but the Hawks are simply too good.

In the fourth we put on the breaks a bit (we’re tired, okay?!) and only score 2.1 for the quarter compared to the Bombers’ 6.1, but it doesn’t matter because we win easily by 28 points. An 153-point turnaround from the previous round. Loons’ prediction was wrong! Thank the heavens!

Best on ground for the Hawks had to be itsmyshow, kicking 8.2 for the scoreboard is a monumental effort. SM was excellent, obtaining 29 possessions (18 handballs!), 8 marks and a goal for 99 DT. Captain Agent93 had 27 positions, 4 tackles, 5 frees for and kicked a goal. Chipmunk contributed well with 23 possies and 2 goals. The Jesus annihilated his opponent with all taps going to him. He also had 12 kicks and 6 handballs of his own. His brother Drunkgoliath must’ve been drunk as he only scored 1 kick and 1 handball for 5 DT.

​

 

[Agent93]

The larrikin award

Our stoic centre half-back pops up in fourth in the larrikin. Over the past two seasons he's absolutely proved he's back to form in the SFA, and his new Hawks teammates are appreciative.

In 4th place for season 30 is:
eth-dog




See that big-arsed 117 point jump? Yeah.​

 

[PMBangers]

The larrikin award

Our stoic centre half-back pops up in fourth in the larrikin. Over the past two seasons he's absolutely proved he's back to form in the SFA, and his new Hawks teammates are appreciative.

In 4th place for season 30 is:
eth-dog

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ya jokin shoulda been higher

 

[Agent93]

Round 14 - Sun Nov 1st, 2020
East Side Hawks 21.7.133 defeated Sin City Swamprats 19.18.132 @ The Eyrie
By TY24

The Hawks came into this game with only outside hopes of finals, a win here was essential.
Sparkle got the game off to a flyer, scoring in the first 30 seconds.

SarahSmiles doubled the Rats advantage before Agent93 opened his sides account shortly after. Itsmyshow brought the Hawks within a goal before a run of Rats goals saw their lead swell out to 25 points in the blink of an eye. A high scoring quarter saw the Rats go into quarter time with a 20 point lead, leading 6.1 - 8.9 at the first change.

It took 7 minutes for the first goal of the second term, with Itsmyshow keeping the Hawks in the game. 11kgm , Itsmyshow and Chipmunk would then all kick majors to put the Hawks in front in a game that was quickly becoming a shootout. The Hawks would take a 1 point lead into the main change, with 20 goals coming in the first half (with the Rats keeping the Hawks in the game with their incredibly poor goal kicking). 11.2.68 played 9.13.67.

The shootout continued into the second half as we saw 4 goals in 7 minutes to see the scores locked at 80 a piece. However the Hawks started to fall away, with goals from Nunez , Power Raid and SarahSmiles seeing the Rats run out to a 19 point lead. Late goals from The Jesus , larrikin and Itsmyshow saw the Hawks go into the final change one goal down in a thrilling shootout.

It took almost 10 minutes for the first goal of the final quarter, but it was worth the wait as 11kgm kicked one of the goals of the year to put the Hawks in front. Itsmyshow and SarahSmiles traded goals to keep the scorers busy late in the game, before Quadzilla brought the Rats within 3 points with a late goal. ant555 had a chance to steal victory with the last kick of the game, but couldn’t bring it home, seeing the Hawks take home game of the year by a single point, defeating the Swaprats 21.7.133 - 19.18.132 - the Rats inaccuracy proving costly.

The Jesus was best on for the Hawks with 31 touches and 2 goals, whilst SarahSmiles did all he could to get his team home with 5 goals of his own.

​

 

[Restricted Free Agent]

whilst @SarahSmiles did all he could to get his team home with 5 goals of his own.

ffs, kicked 5 and don't even get a vote

 

[por_please_ya]

I honestly don't think I'll rank at all on the larrikin?! Hm....

 

[Agent93]

The larrikin award

It's the hump of the top 5, and who better to hump things than a small rodent? Dropping one place from second in S29, Chipmunk is still a widely repected poster at the Hawks (if a little less shiny and new) and finished off fantastic sophomore season.

In 3rd place for season 30 is:
Chipmunk



​

 

[Chipmunk]

See serial_thrilla ! No points for Gatecrashing in the larrikin.

 

[PMBangers]

The larrikin award

It's the hump of the top 5, and who better to hump things than a small rodent? Dropping one place from second in S29, Chipmunk is still a widely repected poster at the Hawks (if a little less shiny and new) and finished off fantastic sophomore season.

In 3rd place for season 30 is:
Chipmunk

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ya jokin shoulda been higher

 

[Chipmunk]

ya jokin shoulda been higher

Nah results are fair...top 2 deserve to be there

 

[Agent93]

Round 15 - Sun Nov 8th, 2020
Dragons FFC vs East Side Hawks @ Ljp86's Lair
By 11kgm

It has been a terrible season, but a glimmer of hope of finals if we win the last 2. However this was extinguished for the second season running against the Dragons.

First Quarter
A flurry of points to start the quarter was ended with goals to Loonerty and 11kgm either side of a Dragons Goal saw us have a narrow lead of 7 points in the first quarter.

Second Quarter
Was a high scoring arm wrestle with 11 goals scored with Itsmyshow The Jesus 11kgm TY24 amongst the goals however the Dragons ended up leading by 9 goals going in to the main break.

Third Quarter
The premiership quarter and we showed why we aren't winning the flag with year only two goals scored by Agent93 and Chipmunk but it wasn't to be as we got run over the top of to be loosing by 21 points.

Fourth Quarter
Quiet a boring last quarter only 4 goals of which only SM was able to score as we went down by 32.

Key Stats
Most Goals was 11kgm with 3
Most Disposals was The Jesus with 24

​

 

[serial_thrilla]

See serial_thrilla ! No points for Gatecrashing in the larrikin.

Maybe if you concentrated on the Hawks threads more, and less on Gatecrashing, you may have done better at this?

 

[Agent93]

The larrikin award

It's almost sad to write this (which I'll get into more later) but I think it's an appropriate reflection of the esteem this man is held at the club. In season 30 he provided the blueprint for distracting from the impending Sunday disappointment and livened several match threads with the introduction of thread games borrowed from his recent very well received Survivor thread.

In 2nd place for season 30 is:
Loonerty



​

 

[serial_thrilla]

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Round 15 - Sun Nov 8th, 2020
Dragons FFC vs East Side Hawks @ Ljp86's Lair
By 11kgm

It has been a terrible season, but a glimmer of hope of finals if we win the last 2. However this was extinguished for the second season running against the Dragons.

First Quarter
A flurry of points to start the quarter was ended with goals to Loonerty and 11kgm either side of a Dragons Goal saw us have a narrow lead of 7 points in the first quarter.

Second Quarter
Was a high scoring arm wrestle with 11 goals scored with Itsmyshow The Jesus 11kgm TY24 amongst the goals however the Dragons ended up leading by 9 goals going in to the main break.

Third Quarter
The premiership quarter and we showed why we aren't winning the flag with year only two goals scored by Agent93 and Chipmunk but it wasn't to be as we got run over the top of to be loosing by 21 points.

Fourth Quarter
Quiet a boring last quarter only 4 goals of which only SM was able to score as we went down by 32.

Key Stats
Most Goals was 11kgm with 3
Most Disposals was The Jesus with 24

View attachment 1026623​

Geez - someone really phoned in that match report.