Media Falcon Files: The Defender's Club- Season 34

[Falconista]

IT’S STANALYSIS TIME:

Thanks to Wosh, I discovered the magnificent Derf postings of Loonerty earlier today (no ulterior motives hey BAD medallist Wosh!). It is time to bring it back to give fullbacks the bloody attention they desperately crave deserve.

Welcome to the Season 34 Defenders Club. Full backs- you could be the leader in each of the following reinstated Loonerty awards:

• The Stingy Bastard award, to the full back who kept their opponent goalless on the greatest number of occasions.
• The BAD (Best At Defending) Medallist. This award goes to the full back with the lowest BAD Metric score over the season. This metric is the total number of points conceded divided by the square of the number of games played at full back.
• The Golden Scrotum will be awarded to the player who has an opponent kick 5 or more goals on them the most through the season.
• The Derf Medal. This medal is awarded to the full back who concedes the most goals during the home and away season.

In addition, I am instituting two new awards:

• The Tenacious D(efend) – designed to punish severely a fullback who has bags kicked on them and reward them for keeping their opponent goalless or even better scoreless.
• Squad Derf- thus measures which team concedes the most goals to full forwards. This accounts for SIM movements or teams who change their fullback over the course of the season.

Defenders- think you've got what it takes to stinge it up to your teams benefit? Then stick around as we chart the progress of those brilliant, noble fullbacks as they strive for zeros in their quest for unusual Sweet FA awards.

Some defenders look like this...

Others like this (mmmm dreamy)...

But all defenders are awesome and should be celebrated.​

 

[Falconista]

The Derf Leader:


The BAD Leaderboard:

The metric for this is:
(number of goals*6 + number of behinds) / (games played at full back)^2

The lower the score, the better.

Tenacious D(efend):

Penalty points guide:
10 points: concede 5-9 goals
30 points: concede 10+ goals
500 points: the full forward outscores your team
Bonus points guide:
-30 points: concede zero goals
-50 points: concede no score

The lower the score, the better.

Squad Derf:


Individually, we saw 11 of the twelve fullbacks concede a goal this weekend. Ranging from jackster83's perfect performance to Falconista getting destroyed by the reigning Fred winner Bonz. jackster83's perfect performance sees them out to a stunning lead in the Tenacious D at 50 under- a whole 63 points ahead of Bears maestro JoshWoodenSpoon.

What will Round Two bring- see you next week! ​

 

[Wosh]

View attachment 1469637

IT’S STANALYSIS TIME:

Thanks to Wosh, I discovered the magnificent Derf postings of Loonerty earlier today (no ulterior motives hey BAD medallist Wosh!). It is time to bring it back to give fullbacks the bloody attention they desperately crave deserve.

Welcome to the Season 34 Defenders Club. Full backs- you could be the leader in each of the following reinstated Loonerty awards:

• The Stingy Bastard award, to the full back who kept their opponent goalless on the greatest number of occasions.
• The BAD (Best At Defending) Medallist. This award goes to the full back with the lowest BAD Metric score over the season. This metric is the total number of points conceded divided by the square of the number of games played at full back.
• The Golden Scrotum will be awarded to the player who has an opponent kick 5 or more goals on them the most through the season.
• The Derf Medal. This medal is awarded to the full back who concedes the most goals during the home and away season.

In addition, I am instituting two new awards:

• The Tenascious D(efend) – designed to punish severely a fullback who has bags kicked on them and reward them for keeping their opponent goalless or even better scoreless.
• Squad Derf- thus measures which team concedes the most goals to full forwards. This accounts for SIM movements or teams who change their fullback over the course of the season.

Defenders- think you've got what it takes to stinge it up to your teams benefit? Then stick around as we chart the progress of those brilliant, noble fullbacks as they strive for zeros in their quest for unusual Sweet FA awards.

View attachment 1469592
Some defenders look like this...

Others like this (mmmm dreamy)...
View attachment 1469598
But all defenders are awesome and should be celebrated.​

Mint! Love this

 

[Wosh]

Just in time for Mooch

 

[DenieD]

This award goes to the full back with the lowest BAD Metric score over the season. This metric is the total number of points conceded divided by the square of the number of games played at full back.

 

[Falconista]

(number of goals*6 + number of behinds) / (games played at full back)^2

The lower the score, the better. Clear?

 

[DenieD]

(number of goals*6 + number of behinds) / (games played at full back)^2

The lower the score, the better. Clear?

Got it.

 

[Wosh]

Lol Gumbies

 

[Mooch]

Just in time for Mooch

Ooh so now I'm all about stopping the goals and not scoring the goals?

 

[Mrs Turbo]

View attachment 1469724

Lol Gumbies

To be fair - the Gumbies were up against the latest and greatest OOB's - so they really didn't stand a chance despite a pretty good fight .. #sorrynotsorry Barrybran DenieD Falconista The Foolback beez GWS Goose

 

[Wosh]

To be fair - the Gumbies were up against the latest and greatest OOB's - so they really didn't stand a chance despite a pretty good fight .. #sorrynotsorry Barrybran DenieD Falconista The Foolback beez GWS Goose

Troll em hard, Lord knows they deserve it

 

[The Foolback]

Very strong start from you Falconista

Doing Foolbacks proud everywhere.

 

[Braklet]

• The Tenascious D(efend) – designed to punish severely a fullback who has bags kicked on them and reward them for keeping their opponent goalless or even better scoreless.

"Tenascious?"

 

[Falconista]

"Tenascious?"

Thanks, will amend.

 

[Braklet]

Thanks, will amend.

Brak "The Proofreader" Let

 

[haydo]

What about us back pockets Falconista, surely we get some love?

 

[Falconista]

What about us back pockets Falconista, surely we get some love?

I will always have great respect for the defensive six.

 

[Robertio]

What about us back pockets Falconista, surely we get some love?

It's a lonely place down in the back pocket but we're the heart and soul of every club.

 

[Braklet]

It's a lonely place down in the back pocket but we're the heart and soul of every club.

While you're down there, can you scratch my itch? I can't reach it...

 

[GWS Goose]

Being the best fullback is like being the tallest dwarf.

I do like that there is somewhere for these pseudo qootballers to hang out though, very charitable of you Falconista

 

[Agent93]

... but jackster83 had 4 goals 3 kicked on him.

 

[jackster83]

... but jackster83 had 4 goals 3 kicked on him.

Shush.

 

[Agent93]

Shush.

BRAB didn't have any goals kicked on him by a FF. He barely played FB.

 

[jackster83]

BRAB didn't have any goals kicked on him by a FF. He barely played FB.

I didn't know that withered corpse was still playing.

 

[Agent93]

I didn't know that withered corpse was still playing.

He pops up from time to time to shriek at porps, myself, and Loonerty.