Media Falcon Files: $weet $alary $peculation$ (S37)

[Falconista]

Time to roll out an old classic.

Like Buzz Rothfield does in the NRL, the Falcon Files has undertaken an extensive hypothesis exercise to determine the salary of each listed player in the league.

If you're not a Sydneysider or a league fan and thus unaware of Buzz's work, think of an older, just as drunk Mark Robinson who actually gets scoops and is... how do we say this... 'well connected' (allegedly). Unlike Buzz though, this author hasn't consumed at least half a bottle of red before typing this up.

NOTE: All figures converted to the Australian Dollar due to concerns regarding the volatility of crypto and alternative currency such as Clarke Monies.

Here's the parameters:​

• All rookies are valued at $90k​
• No player, other than rookies, can be valued at less than $100k.​
• If applicable for club veterans, ONE player who has played 300 games for the club can have 50% of their salary excluded from the cap and an ADDITIONAL ONE player if they've played 400 games or more for the club has their whole salary excluded from the cap.​
• Player's salary valuations determined by their activity in match threads and media, recent qooty output, games played S34 to present and miscellaneous factors such as LG status and if the player has recently changed clubs as a much sought-after commodity.​
• All salary caps to sit between a minimum $10 million and a max of $12 million.​
• Stats and squads correct at the conclusion of round 13, season 37.​

 

[Falconista]

FAST STATS:​

• There are 22 'million dollar' players across the Sweet FA.​
• Each team has at least one 'million dollar' player.​
• The highest-paid player in the league is determined to be on the tasty wicket of $1,700,000!​
• Three clubs have maxed out their cap and another three are within touching distance of the 12 million.​

The thirteen salary caps are listed below. All will be revealed as to which salary belongs to which club.​

Team​	Salary Cap​
West Coast Wonders​	$ 10,110,000​
Fighting Furies​	$ 10,120,000​
Sin City Swamprats​	$ 10,260,000​
Roys FFC​	$ 10,265,000​
Dragons FFC​	$ 10,811,969​
East Side Hawks​	$ 11,015,000​
Gumbies FFC​	$ 11,117,500​
Mount Buller Demons​	$ 11,825,000​
Baghdad Bombers​	$ 11,850,690​
Las Vegas Bears​	$ 11,990,050​
Coney Island Warriors​	$ 12,000,000​
Ophidian Old Boys​	$ 12,000,000​
Gold City Royals​	$ 12,000,000​

Later today, the Files will begin posting the findings for each club, in ascending order, commencing with club with the smallest salary cap for season 37.​

 

[Chipmunk]

I requested for, and got paid in, the finest premium nuts.

 

[Mobbs]

Please switch to Clarkemonies

 

[thewizardmelon]

FAST STATS:​

• There are 22 'million dollar' players across the Sweet FA.​
• Each team has at least one 'million dollar' player.​
• The highest-paid player in the league is determined to be on the tasty wicket of $1,700,000!​
• Three clubs have maxed out their cap and another three are within touching distance of the 12 million.​

The thirteen salary caps are listed below. All will be revealed as to which salary belongs to which club.​

Team​	Salary Cap​
????​	$ 10,110,000​
????​	$ 10,120,000​
????​	$ 10,215,000​
????​	$ 10,260,000​
????​	$ 10,811,969​
????​	$ 11,015,000​
????​	$ 11,117,500​
????​	$ 11,825,000​
????​	$ 11,850,690​
????​	$ 11,990,050​
????​	$ 12,000,000​
????​	$ 12,000,000​
????​	$ 12,000,000​

Later today, the Files will begin posting the findings for each club, in ascending order, commencing with club with the smallest salary cap for season 37.​

Liked and subscribed. Sounds fun

 

[Mrs Turbo]

OOBs will have maxed out - no question here

BUT - I'd find this very challenging to put a price tag 'cap' on some of the OOB players contacts

Like what value does a good T-Bone steak fetch in this salary cap caluclations and how was this allocated to Fleabane bc on good performance days she often gets more than one!!


And Robertio was given a Guinness bar in his OOB contract


This raises yet another question; Does Robs income need to be declared in his cap calculations??


and I get to sleep with this ^^ Captain Tigerturbulance when ever I want - that's gotta be priceless!

 

[thewizardmelon]

OOBs will have maxed out - no question here

BUT - I'd find this very challenging to put a price tag 'cap' on some of the OOB players contacts

Like what value does a good T-Bone steak fetch in this salary cap caluclations and how was this allocated to Fleabane bc on good performance days she often gets more than one!!

View attachment 1988512
And Robertio was given a Guinness bar in his OOB contract

View attachment 1988514
This raises yet another question; Does Robs income need to be declared in his cap calculations??
View attachment 1988519

and I get to sleep with this ^^ Captain Tigerturbulance when ever I want - that's gotta be priceless!

I’m on pennies but make my cash through NIL deals and other such under the table agreements.

I mean, yeah let’s see the books!

 

[Cadsky]

OOBs will have maxed out - no question here

BUT - I'd find this very challenging to put a price tag 'cap' on some of the OOB players contacts

Like what value does a good T-Bone steak fetch in this salary cap caluclations and how was this allocated to Fleabane bc on good performance days she often gets more than one!!

View attachment 1988512
And Robertio was given a Guinness bar in his OOB contract

View attachment 1988514
This raises yet another question; Does Robs income need to be declared in his cap calculations??
View attachment 1988519

and I get to sleep with this ^^ Captain Tigerturbulance when ever I want - that's gotta be priceless!

Looms like the OOB's are gonna have to move a few players on at seasons end to stay under the cap

 

[ClarkeM]

Please switch to Clarkemonies

They were not licensed for use.

 

[sausageroll]

​

• All rookies are valued at $90k​
• If applicable for club veterans, ONE player who has played 300 games for the club can have 50% of their salary excluded from the cap
  ​

Put me down for an effective salary of $45k then

 

[Greenery]

I do it for the love of the Dragons!!!!!!!

 

[DenieD]

The highest-paid player in the league is determined to be on the tasty wicket of $1,700,000!

And I'm worth every cent

 

[serial_thrilla]

Marlowe

 

[Tonga Bob]

Marlowe
View attachment 1988841

Can't spell Marlowe without Moe

 

[PhenomenalV1]

In fairness, a good chunk of my salary goes into paying Gralin to be my personal security guard.

 

[Gralin]

In fairness, a good chunk of my salary goes into paying Gralin to be my personal security guard.

 

[Falconista]

In somewhat of a shock, the Wonders have the smallest salary cap of season 37. However, they have over a million sitting outside the cap with league 2IC ClarkeM's entire salary and half of BallaratBulldog's off the books. Another reason is the off-season recruitment drive that netted the Wonders five rookies each of whom are on minimum rates.

Overall, the Wonders list is well-balanced from a salary perspective, with a distribution of players in each tier. They have two 's tier' players in skipper AnUltimateRessie and boon full-foward (and possible future skipper) DenieD, with ten further players in the a or b tiers. Their salary cap won't be the smallest in the league for long as the rookies will need upgraded contracts, some of whom likely to receive solid salaries.

Look out LGs of other teams, the Wonders have money to spend on recruits this offseason!

Highest paid players: AnUltimateRessie (1.1m), DenieD (950k), HARPSichord (850k), Cubs2Lions (800k) and Grand Uncle Horace (800k).​

Spoiler: Wonders player salaries ranked in descending order

RANK	WONDERS	S37 Salary	TIER
1	AnUltimateRessie	$ 1,100,000	S
2	DenieD	$ 950,000	S
3	HARPSichord	$ 850,000	A
=4	Cubs2Lions	$ 800,000	A
=4	Grand Uncle Horace	$ 800,000	A
6	ClarkeM	$ 750,000	LIFER
7	dogs105	$ 700,000	A
=8	BallaratBulldog	$ 600,000	VET
=8	SM	$ 600,000	B
=10	croweater 41	$ 550,000	B
=10	JT_the_Man	$ 550,000	B
12	SSwans2011	$ 500,000	B
13	jezzajay	$ 450,000	B
14	NinjaSwan	$ 400,000	B
15	LukeParkerno1	$ 300,000	C
16	Soggy2112	$ 200,000	C
17	Rioli2Rioli	$ 150,000	C
18	Wojcinski	$ 130,000	C
19	Marklar_33	$ 120,000	C
20	SweetD	$ 110,000	C
21	PVF	$ 100,000	C
=22	Bfew	$ 90,000	ROOK
=22	BigChippa52	$ 90,000	ROOK
=22	dino_67	$ 90,000	ROOK
=22	Oisin_the_Goat	$ 90,000	ROOK
=22	Pamcake1	$ 90,000	ROOK

 

[ClarkeM]

View attachment 1989083

In somewhat of a shock, the Wonders have the smallest salary cap of season 37. However, they have over a million sitting outside the cap with league 2IC ClarkeM's entire salary and half of BallaratBulldog's off the books. Another reason is the off-season recruitment drive that netted the Wonders five rookies each of whom are on minimum rates.

Overall, the Wonders list is well-balanced from a salary perspective, with a distribution of players in each tier. They have two 's tier' players in skipper AnUltimateRessie and boon full-foward (and possible future skipper) DenieD, with ten further players in the a or b tiers. Their salary cap won't be the smallest in the league for long as the rookies will need upgraded contracts, some of whom likely to receive solid salaries.

Look out LGs of other teams, the Wonders have money to spend on recruits this offseason!

Highest paid players: AnUltimateRessie (1.1m), DenieD (950k), HARPSichord (850k), Cubs2Lions (800k) and Grand Uncle Horace (800k).​

Spoiler: Wonders player salaries ranked in descending order

RANK	WONDERS	S37 Salary	TIER
1	AnUltimateRessie	$ 1,100,000	S
2	DenieD	$ 950,000	S
3	HARPSichord	$ 850,000	A
=4	Cubs2Lions	$ 800,000	A
=4	Grand Uncle Horace	$ 800,000	A
6	ClarkeM	$ 750,000	LIFER
7	dogs105	$ 700,000	A
=8	BallaratBulldog	$ 600,000	VET
=8	SM	$ 600,000	B
=10	croweater 41	$ 550,000	B
=10	JT_the_Man	$ 550,000	B
12	SSwans2011	$ 500,000	B
13	jezzajay	$ 450,000	B
14	NinjaSwan	$ 400,000	B
15	LukeParkerno1	$ 300,000	C
16	Soggy2112	$ 200,000	C
17	Rioli2Rioli	$ 150,000	C
18	Wojcinski	$ 130,000	C
19	Marklar_33	$ 120,000	C
20	SweetD	$ 110,000	C
21	PVF	$ 100,000	C
=22	Bfew	$ 90,000	ROOK
=22	BigChippa52	$ 90,000	ROOK
=22	dino_67	$ 90,000	ROOK
=22	Oisin_the_Goat	$ 90,000	ROOK
=22	Pamcake1	$ 90,000	ROOK

I like how BallaratBulldog gets the VET badge and yet croweater 41 is just a basic pleb.

 

[ClarkeM]

Also how nice is it to have the Wonders as the FIRST club for a change!

 

[Mrs Turbo]

AnUltimateRessie at $1.1m

 

[serial_thrilla]

NinjaSwan getting rorted.
I'll be in touch with his manager in the off-season.

 

[HARPSichord]

I like how BallaratBulldog gets the VET badge and yet croweater 41 is just a basic pleb.

Who?

 

[Mrs Turbo]

Looms like the OOB's are gonna have to move a few players on at seasons end to stay under the cap

HAHA

Not a chance... once we OOBs find out exactly who are considered the cream of the SFA crop, nevermind, I am sure Grav is all over it.

 

[Greenery]

NinjaSwan getting rorted.
I'll be in touch with his manager in the off-season.

I would have had LukeParkerno1 above him personally

 

[Greenery]

View attachment 1989083

In somewhat of a shock, the Wonders have the smallest salary cap of season 37. However, they have over a million sitting outside the cap with league 2IC ClarkeM's entire salary and half of BallaratBulldog's off the books. Another reason is the off-season recruitment drive that netted the Wonders five rookies each of whom are on minimum rates.

Overall, the Wonders list is well-balanced from a salary perspective, with a distribution of players in each tier. They have two 's tier' players in skipper AnUltimateRessie and boon full-foward (and possible future skipper) DenieD, with ten further players in the a or b tiers. Their salary cap won't be the smallest in the league for long as the rookies will need upgraded contracts, some of whom likely to receive solid salaries.

Look out LGs of other teams, the Wonders have money to spend on recruits this offseason!

Highest paid players: AnUltimateRessie (1.1m), DenieD (950k), HARPSichord (850k), Cubs2Lions (800k) and Grand Uncle Horace (800k).​

Spoiler: Wonders player salaries ranked in descending order

RANK	WONDERS	S37 Salary	TIER
1	AnUltimateRessie	$ 1,100,000	S
2	DenieD	$ 950,000	S
3	HARPSichord	$ 850,000	A
=4	Cubs2Lions	$ 800,000	A
=4	Grand Uncle Horace	$ 800,000	A
6	ClarkeM	$ 750,000	LIFER
7	dogs105	$ 700,000	A
=8	BallaratBulldog	$ 600,000	VET
=8	SM	$ 600,000	B
=10	croweater 41	$ 550,000	B
=10	JT_the_Man	$ 550,000	B
12	SSwans2011	$ 500,000	B
13	jezzajay	$ 450,000	B
14	NinjaSwan	$ 400,000	B
15	LukeParkerno1	$ 300,000	C
16	Soggy2112	$ 200,000	C
17	Rioli2Rioli	$ 150,000	C
18	Wojcinski	$ 130,000	C
19	Marklar_33	$ 120,000	C
20	SweetD	$ 110,000	C
21	PVF	$ 100,000	C
=22	Bfew	$ 90,000	ROOK
=22	BigChippa52	$ 90,000	ROOK
=22	dino_67	$ 90,000	ROOK
=22	Oisin_the_Goat	$ 90,000	ROOK
=22	Pamcake1	$ 90,000	ROOK

AnUltimateRessie I'll offer you 250k and a spot in the Forward Pocket to annoy all the Dragons I don't like