Football Jargon, Phrases You Can’t Stand

[Leon]

The Big Dance (in reference to the Grand Final). Don’t mind people calling it the Granny, one day in September etc, but The Big Dance does my head in.

We got the chocolates/choccies etc - players, coaches etc after a win. Just say “the win” or “4 points” FFS

What do they stand for? - Uttered by innumerable talking heads about a team that’s no good or has just been thrashed. Pretty sure they stand for the same as the 17 other clubs, they’re just no good at the moment and/or had a bad game.


What does your head in?

Expecting Dwayne Russell to dominate this thread.

 

[Engimal v3]

Calling a player a quarterback

 

[Pipefitter]

Calling a player laconic.

What is a laconic person?


If you describe someone as laconic, you mean that they use very few words to say something, so that they seem casual or unfriendly.

 

[Bill Crouse]

I ****ing hate "learnings."

 

[Franc de Borges]

“With ball in hand”.

 

[Makeshift Park]

I don't actually hate it, but the phrase "clean below the knees" often draws a wry smile from me.

I do wonder what folks with little familiarity with the lingo thinks it refers to.

 

[bradfisher14]

Speed on the ball.

Point of difference.

“# point ball game” to describe the margin in a close game.

Any time James Brayshaw uses these phrases: “thump/thumping/thumps”, “good ball”, and “good young boy”.

 

[adammania9]

"Taking the ball at its highest point". Are players jumping 20m high to mark the footy are they?

 

[M Malice]

The game is not over till it's over. Genius.

 

[Nostradumbass]

The pill
Barrell

 

[Blackhawk42]

Calling a player a quarterback

The absolute worst.

 

[Papa G]

I ******* hate "learnings."

Craft. As in working on my craft.. Fcuk off.

 

[jooce8891]

anything bt says

 

[Bunk Moreland]

“An amazing player and also an amazing human”

This sycophantic, vomit-inducing trash is spewed out quite often by the likes of Brayshaw and Darcy.

Go easy with the drool fellas. They’re just footballers, let’s just enjoy the game.

 

[Leon]

“An amazing player and also an amazing human”

This sycophantic, vomit-inducing trash is spewed out quite often by the likes of Brayshaw and Darcy.

Go easy with the drool fellas. They’re just footballers, let’s just enjoy the game.

Andy Maher is a bag fan of that one too.

 

[OniAu]

Lowers the eyes

 

[OniAu]

Speed on the ball.

Point of difference.

“# point ball game” to describe the margin in a close game.

Any time James Brayshaw uses these phrases: “thump/thumping/thumps”, “good ball”, and “good young boy”.

Thamps it long
Fans it wide
Pounds it

Shut up James

 

[Cmarsh]

When an ex-AFL player goes on a reality TV show and the promos call said player an "AFL superstar" no matter how bog average they were.

 

[Judd2Sewell]

"Forward craft"

 

[sosos]

The pill
Barrell

Barrel is ok.

 

[geelong_crazy26]

Most collingwood fans

 

[brmi]

"... In this space ..."

 

[TubbsFarquhar]

"He likes a goal" - said in reference to non-forwards who are known to kick a few.

No shit they like a goal, who the **** doesn't.

Also, Dwayne's "half-held". It's either a hold or it isn't, there's no in between.

 

[OniAu]

"He likes a goal" - said in reference to non-forwards who are known to kick a few.

No s**t they like a goal, who the * doesn't.

Also, Dwayne's "half-held". It's either a hold or it isn't, there's no in between.

"Last roll of the dice" 2 minutes into last quarter

 

[Xtreme]

Coalface