Football Jargon, Phrases You Can’t Stand

[Partridge]

“An amazing player and also an amazing human”

This sycophantic, vomit-inducing trash is spewed out quite often by the likes of Brayshaw and Darcy.

Go easy with the drool fellas. They’re just footballers, let’s just enjoy the game.

Yep. I heard Brayshaw say that about a certain J. Krakouer this year.

Vomit-inducing is spot on.

 

[Partridge]

When the ** did a shot for goal become a "look?" James Brayshaw can ** off. "He hasn't had any looks today." Just say this is his first shot at goal campaigner.

"He kicks a little chiseller" No he doesn't Brian Taylor. He kicks it short. "He kicks a right foot slider." I still don't know what the **** that is.

"He fans it out to Langdon on the wing." No he doesn't Brayshaw, stop being a total ****wit.

"He loves the competition." About a player who thrives on the contest. Jesus ****ing freezes.

When did "giving his best" become cracking in, and who was responsible for that ludicrous phrase entering the footballing lexicon?

Torpedo punt already had a perfect alternative colourful description in spiral punt. A Barrel is something you transport beer in you stupid stupid campaigners.

Commentators should not try to inject themselves into the match. All commentators: you are an unnecessary evil. Stop acting like you are a necessary evil.

**** I hate commentators.

I'll nominate just one (from many):

"From the paint".

Anyone who utters that should be brutally executed in front of their family.

 

[Partridge]

Came in here to say this.

I don’t agree with murder, and I don’t like the idea of incarceration, and I certainly don’t support the idea of making innocent people’s lives worse by taking away someone they care about but I would f**ken take a sledgehammer to David king’s f**ken face given the slightest f**ken chance to do so and bludgeon it until it looked like a burst watermelon if it removed the words stoppage and clearance in singular form, from AFL lexicon.

What a c**t

When it comes to current footy commentators I am absolutely in favour of all of these things.

 

[janty]

• the industry
• sacrosanct
• if there is foot candy and hand candy then what is standard candy?
• learnings
• wanted it more
• the pressure gauge on Fox Footy broadcasts
• great man
• superstar