Football Jargon, Phrases You Can’t Stand

[Partridge]

“An amazing player and also an amazing human”

This sycophantic, vomit-inducing trash is spewed out quite often by the likes of Brayshaw and Darcy.

Go easy with the drool fellas. They’re just footballers, let’s just enjoy the game.

Yep. I heard Brayshaw say that about a certain J. Krakouer this year.

Vomit-inducing is spot on.

 

[Partridge]

When the ** did a shot for goal become a "look?" James Brayshaw can ** off. "He hasn't had any looks today." Just say this is his first shot at goal campaigner.

"He kicks a little chiseller" No he doesn't Brian Taylor. He kicks it short. "He kicks a right foot slider." I still don't know what the **** that is.

"He fans it out to Langdon on the wing." No he doesn't Brayshaw, stop being a total ****wit.

"He loves the competition." About a player who thrives on the contest. Jesus ****ing freezes.

When did "giving his best" become cracking in, and who was responsible for that ludicrous phrase entering the footballing lexicon?

Torpedo punt already had a perfect alternative colourful description in spiral punt. A Barrel is something you transport beer in you stupid stupid campaigners.

Commentators should not try to inject themselves into the match. All commentators: you are an unnecessary evil. Stop acting like you are a necessary evil.

**** I hate commentators.

I'll nominate just one (from many):

"From the paint".

Anyone who utters that should be brutally executed in front of their family.

 

[Partridge]

Came in here to say this.

I don’t agree with murder, and I don’t like the idea of incarceration, and I certainly don’t support the idea of making innocent people’s lives worse by taking away someone they care about but I would f**ken take a sledgehammer to David king’s f**ken face given the slightest f**ken chance to do so and bludgeon it until it looked like a burst watermelon if it removed the words stoppage and clearance in singular form, from AFL lexicon.

What a c**t

When it comes to current footy commentators I am absolutely in favour of all of these things.

 

[janty]

• the industry
• sacrosanct
• if there is foot candy and hand candy then what is standard candy?
• learnings
• wanted it more
• the pressure gauge on Fox Footy broadcasts
• great man
• superstar

 

[Tall poppy Syndrome]

I’ve received 2 phone calls this morning:

Jobe Watson rang to say he’s enjoyed the status operatus of the thread.

While Alastair Clarkson asked me to pass on that through your comments you’ve all had your fair lick of the ice cream but he just can’t decide which one is worthy of taking the chocolates.

 

[Rabish Binney]

1. "Long levers"
2. "Takes the ball at the highest point" (WTF??)
3. "He's got a stinger". What exactly is a stinger?

 

[kickazz]

3. "He's got a stinger". What exactly is a stinger?

An impact to the body (often shoulder) that causes a lot of acute pain but no real damage as such.

 

[westie]

Deeefence, Offfence and most Brayshawisms.