- Thread starter
- #726
I missed the opening. What was the big, bad, breaking noise/news?
Essendrug? [jk]
Essendrug? [jk]
FTA-TV Footy Classified
- Thread starter voodooguru
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Oh dear Caro, you should know youll never get a channel nine footy employee to criticize eddie in any way whatsoever
Did mumbles lyon just say "sure up a place in the finals" ?
Did mumbles lyon just say "sure up a place in the finals" ?
- Thread starter
- #728
Oh nice. Bloody Jeff calls for the Fat Controller to quit.
Good points Caro re: "Dick" Colless being in the top chair longer than "Whiney" Maguire, and Whiney's star being hitched to Coach Bucks. She said the Pie People would never boot Whiney, but if the Pies miss the finals in successive seasons he'll step down before the pitchforks are sharpened and the torches are lit.
Good points Caro re: "Dick" Colless being in the top chair longer than "Whiney" Maguire, and Whiney's star being hitched to Coach Bucks. She said the Pie People would never boot Whiney, but if the Pies miss the finals in successive seasons he'll step down before the pitchforks are sharpened and the torches are lit.
- Thread starter
- #730
What is that in Jabba the Hutch's breast pocket? A Klingon distress signal?
Caro's blouse looks like it was made by Haruki Murakami in an alternate universe.
Caro's blouse looks like it was made by Haruki Murakami in an alternate universe.
- Nov 28, 2006
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Turkish Delight wrapper.
- Thread starter
- #732
"On Footy Class?"
- Thread starter
- #733
Courtney knew what he was doing when he kicked that dempsey to himself.
- Thread starter
- #734
Good call re: Cyril from Angry G.
Geez, Caro. You were the Tiger's leading premature pallbearer four or five rounds ago, now you're championing their
Prez?
Geez, Caro. You were the Tiger's leading premature pallbearer four or five rounds ago, now you're championing their
Prez?
Id want to be sure cyril could last the game before playing him
Maybe as sub in the prelim
Maybe as sub in the prelim
- Thread starter
- #736
This was a regression from last week, there was too much recapping of the weekend's onfield action. After the Essendrug [jk] story it was pretty much all the onfield stuff that's already been covered by proper footy shows. Tell me something I don't already know. Give me some in depth info about anything.
I would have given this episode a 5.8 on the Assified-Specific Rictus Scale, but the Red Menace's blouse took it to 6.1 then Jabba the Hutch's pocket square rolled it back to 5.6. Angry G and Velvet Cheapshot looked sharp but.
5.9/10
I would have given this episode a 5.8 on the Assified-Specific Rictus Scale, but the Red Menace's blouse took it to 6.1 then Jabba the Hutch's pocket square rolled it back to 5.6. Angry G and Velvet Cheapshot looked sharp but.
5.9/10
Liked how the hawks were described as strong bodied midfield when clearly the cats players are bigger
Maybe cats are built for strength and burst. Whereas the hawks are more for endurance running
Maybe cats are built for strength and burst. Whereas the hawks are more for endurance running
What about the kids on the program after ?
My question would they still do that if there were no gopros ?
My question would they still do that if there were no gopros ?
Hutchy was doing one of his annoying things tonight: looks at the camera while talking to someone next to him (or standing a few feet away: Barrett).
It looks ridiculous, and I've heard him try to justify it. He reckons it's to include the audience more, but it looks farkin shtoopit when he looks at "me" (down the barrel) while talking to the person sitting next to him.
It looks ridiculous, and I've heard him try to justify it. He reckons it's to include the audience more, but it looks farkin shtoopit when he looks at "me" (down the barrel) while talking to the person sitting next to him.
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ozgamer
Premiership Player
Hutchy was doing one of his annoying things tonight: looks at the camera while talking to someone next to him (or standing a few feet away: Barrett).
It looks ridiculous, and I've heard him try to justify it. He reckons it's to include the audience more, but it looks farkin shtoopit when he looks at "me" (down the barrel) while talking to the person sitting next to him.
TV Presenting 101, Jabba the Hutch never ceases to fail.
- Thread starter
- #741
Nice opening. All the panelists shown dumping on the Tiges earlier in the season. Fair cop yo.
- Thread starter
- #742
Yeah, yeah - I'm the schmuck who was half-right when he called for General Grant to be replaced by Velvet Cheapshot.
OT - aka Velvet Cheapshirt
OT - aka Velvet Cheapshirt
- Thread starter
- #743
Lloyd immediately deals me a decent shunt as he calls Norf over Essendrug. I'm mildly disappointed that Jabba didn't feign outrage.
Caro in a split decision over Crotchison re: Guy McKenna?
Caro in a split decision over Crotchison re: Guy McKenna?
- Thread starter
- #744
Eddie "Fat Controller" Maguire shoots off his big mouth [again] and Coach Bucks catches a boot in the glutes at the [world's first?] Roast The Coach for 'woods "members" [jk].
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- Thread starter
- #745
Nice arrow from the Red Menace re: Faux not making more of Gia's exit from the footy arena.
Not a bad show, not a good show.
5.5/10, okay?
Not a bad show, not a good show.
5.5/10, okay?
Jeez, Caro's a farkin snob. It's bad enough that she speaks hoity-toity all the time -- "charnce, advarnce, demarnd, Grarnt", etc -- but tonight she used the phrase "raison d'être", and when the other guys looked at her, not knowing what she meant, she goes: "it means 'their reason for being'; I've traveled."
Sure, she was only 80% serious in her condescension, but still, we're there's smoke there's fire
Sure, she was only 80% serious in her condescension, but still, we're there's smoke there's fire
Footy Ass has been sort of "just going" this year. Maybe they just have premiership hangover after last season's explosive, high-octane melodrama that was the "Essendon Saga" (remember though midweek "breaking news" special editions?), but this year there's been plenty of room for the fainthearted. Too much.
Roll Call:
Caro - Everyone loathes Caro and her gossip column mud-raking, but the defence has always been that she's the "no fear, or favor" maverick who write what the "boys club" wont. But unfortunately the last year or so has kind of exposed her as an AFL Headquarters mouthpiece, which leaves one wondering what the point of her is. Seems to be trying to recast herself as a people's champion, you know "sticking up for the fans" and all that, but it's not working. Caro's Arrow has been scattershot all year too, hitting a new nadir with the one on Brendan Fevola (not exactly at the height of his relevance, Fev) for attending a past player reunion. And why is Richmond making the finals "good for football"? Would Adelaide or West Coast making it instead have been "bad for football"?
Lone Wolf - Unless Melbourne are in crisis and he is being besieged with personal questions the he bats of non answers, or unless there's a big issue with a nice fence in the middle for Gary to park himself on, I don't quite see the point of Gary. Anchors the show with his bland respectability I guess, but aside from that, empty calories I'm afraid.
Hutchy - Been a touch tired and cranky and lethargic all season. Even those end credit theatrics have lost their energy. In the last year or so he's has lost much that sweaty, sleazy, pale, pasty, car-park-watching, ambulance-chasing, tabloid-trash, gutter-press whiff that we all loved to hate. Needs to get back to his gutter-press roots, back to the car parks, the hospitals, the airports. Needs to rediscover why he got into this work in the first place. Of the four he's one who most "gets" what Assified is all about (hence the sometimes strained attempts at manufacturing conflict), and when he's off his game, when he's letting chances to feign outrage go through to the 'keeper instead of pouncing on them, the whole show suffers.
Cheapshot - "The Lloydo and Gary Footy Highlight show", which seems to be a growing feature with each passing week, needs to be moved to its own show (Sunday nights?), so as to free Assified up for maximum Assiness. That's been the problem with Footy Ass this season. Too much Footy, not enough Ass.
Occasionally, when Caro calls the other sexist or something, the show has come to life for a few moments, but those have just been fitful bursts, momentary spasms of energy amidst the tedium. Mostly this season they've just been going through the motions. The trick of one of them (Hutchy or Lloyd at the other, or Hutchy or Lloyd at Caro) calling the other out on something they said six weeks ago that since turned out to be wrong, and the other denying that that was what they said, is getting old. Makes them all look insular and irrelevant. I wonder if they're all just tired. All four of them do other television, as well as newspaper and radio. Maybe this show just isn't a priority for any of them anymore.
The lack of big issue drama this season has undoubtedly hurt. Not only has the "Essendon Saga" died down, but, just as crucially, they'e also lost last season's B story of Melbourne's woes. Hell, we haven't even had a sacked coach this year! When Carlton were 0-4 or whatever at the start of the year, it's looked like Carlton and Mick were going to be the "big story" of the year, but then the Blues managed to achieve some consistent level mediocrity God Dammit and that was that. That there's been generally four or so teams at the foot of the table as opposed to one out-and-out cellar dweller "in crisis" hasn't helped matters either.
It's tempting to say that the show should recast, make a change or two to shake things up, but what change could they make? Caro and Hutchy are non-negotiable fixtures surely, and Gary does provide the bland "respectability". Who would they bring in? Damian Barrett? Uggh. Personally, I'm willing to give this quartet another year. But by golly, things have got to pick up.
What Footy Assified needs of course, is a big talking point. A crisis with some "fallout". Something meaty, that they can really sink their Ass into to.
Roll Call:
Caro - Everyone loathes Caro and her gossip column mud-raking, but the defence has always been that she's the "no fear, or favor" maverick who write what the "boys club" wont. But unfortunately the last year or so has kind of exposed her as an AFL Headquarters mouthpiece, which leaves one wondering what the point of her is. Seems to be trying to recast herself as a people's champion, you know "sticking up for the fans" and all that, but it's not working. Caro's Arrow has been scattershot all year too, hitting a new nadir with the one on Brendan Fevola (not exactly at the height of his relevance, Fev) for attending a past player reunion. And why is Richmond making the finals "good for football"? Would Adelaide or West Coast making it instead have been "bad for football"?
Lone Wolf - Unless Melbourne are in crisis and he is being besieged with personal questions the he bats of non answers, or unless there's a big issue with a nice fence in the middle for Gary to park himself on, I don't quite see the point of Gary. Anchors the show with his bland respectability I guess, but aside from that, empty calories I'm afraid.
Hutchy - Been a touch tired and cranky and lethargic all season. Even those end credit theatrics have lost their energy. In the last year or so he's has lost much that sweaty, sleazy, pale, pasty, car-park-watching, ambulance-chasing, tabloid-trash, gutter-press whiff that we all loved to hate. Needs to get back to his gutter-press roots, back to the car parks, the hospitals, the airports. Needs to rediscover why he got into this work in the first place. Of the four he's one who most "gets" what Assified is all about (hence the sometimes strained attempts at manufacturing conflict), and when he's off his game, when he's letting chances to feign outrage go through to the 'keeper instead of pouncing on them, the whole show suffers.
Cheapshot - "The Lloydo and Gary Footy Highlight show", which seems to be a growing feature with each passing week, needs to be moved to its own show (Sunday nights?), so as to free Assified up for maximum Assiness. That's been the problem with Footy Ass this season. Too much Footy, not enough Ass.
Occasionally, when Caro calls the other sexist or something, the show has come to life for a few moments, but those have just been fitful bursts, momentary spasms of energy amidst the tedium. Mostly this season they've just been going through the motions. The trick of one of them (Hutchy or Lloyd at the other, or Hutchy or Lloyd at Caro) calling the other out on something they said six weeks ago that since turned out to be wrong, and the other denying that that was what they said, is getting old. Makes them all look insular and irrelevant. I wonder if they're all just tired. All four of them do other television, as well as newspaper and radio. Maybe this show just isn't a priority for any of them anymore.
The lack of big issue drama this season has undoubtedly hurt. Not only has the "Essendon Saga" died down, but, just as crucially, they'e also lost last season's B story of Melbourne's woes. Hell, we haven't even had a sacked coach this year! When Carlton were 0-4 or whatever at the start of the year, it's looked like Carlton and Mick were going to be the "big story" of the year, but then the Blues managed to achieve some consistent level mediocrity God Dammit and that was that. That there's been generally four or so teams at the foot of the table as opposed to one out-and-out cellar dweller "in crisis" hasn't helped matters either.
It's tempting to say that the show should recast, make a change or two to shake things up, but what change could they make? Caro and Hutchy are non-negotiable fixtures surely, and Gary does provide the bland "respectability". Who would they bring in? Damian Barrett? Uggh. Personally, I'm willing to give this quartet another year. But by golly, things have got to pick up.
What Footy Assified needs of course, is a big talking point. A crisis with some "fallout". Something meaty, that they can really sink their Ass into to.
- Sep 22, 2000
- 62,351
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- Ford
Did she have a go at Fox Footy for cutting away as Gia & Josh were about to be farewelled by the teams lined up ?
Thought that was a shithouse thing to do,but whose fault is it ? Eddies
Notice the sunday footy now ends at 7.25pm,to give Eddie & Kermott 5 more minutes of air time [we just don't hear them enough each week].Eddie would've gone apeshit if Seven cut away from Luke Balls farewell Friday night.
yep
Good season review,
none of which could be easily disputed, in my opinion, especially the Hutchy stuff; he hasn't really been the "scooping" story-chaser he was for quite a while. I guess he realized he can make more money selling advertising for his Crocmedia shows.This has been said plenty of times, but the show sure lost something when Thommo left, and, as you say, there hasn't been enough "saucy" stories this year, apart from the odd nugget about Essendon. The the Bombers thing they oversold the other week was a lot of mayo on not much, and it kinda fell flat.
Having said all that, I'll still watch it
