Get to know your Hawks Board posters better

[The hands of stone]

Hi all
Thought this might be a bit of fun and a good way to pass some time pre season.
Also a little insight to your fellow posters. Mods please move if not the right place for this or inappropriate

Age : 43
Height: 6'1
Fav Hawks player of all time : The Chief
Current fav Hawks player : CJ
Fav GF : 2008 just by a whisker
Fav game ever attended : round 6 V Geelong 1989
Other Sports : Cricket , NFL , Boxing
Other Teams : Buffalo Bills
Non AFL Fav Sportsperson : Josh Allen
3 dinner guests : Tyson Fury , David Brent , Gordon Ramsey
Dream past sporting event : Marvin Hagler V Thomas Hearns
Life claim to fame : playing a missing a whole Jimmy Anderson over at Lancashire
Next Hawk Flag : 2026

Go at it if your keen

 

[Restricted Free Agent]

Mothers maiden name?
Name of first pet?
3 digits on the back of your credit card?

 

[Mojo]

Hi All...

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking - I suggest you try it.

Next Hawk's flag: 2026

 

[Steven Tyler]

Age: 51
Height: 170cm
Fav Hawks player: Michael Tuck
Fav GF: 1989 just over 2008
Fav game attended: 1989 GF just over 2008 GF
Life claim to fame: Telling Denis Pagan to his face that he was even uglier in person than he was on TV, after he asked the North players “who brought the jockey?” one pre-season weights session

 

[Beandip]

Hi All...

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking - I suggest you try it.

Next Hawk's flag: 2026

How do you follow on from that? Thread RIP?

 

[extractasam]

I like it

Age : 28
Height: 5”11
Fav Hawks player of all time : Sam Mitchell
Current fav Hawks player : Newk
Fav GF : 2008 - Felt like we were so irrelevant as a young kid then all of a sudden 2008 happened in the space of 2 years and it felt like magic as I didn’t fully understand the process of things yet.

Fav game ever attended : 2013 Prelim - I think I attended near on every loss between 08-13.

Other Sports : Golf/F1
Other Teams : None on the same level as Hawthorn but I am enjoying watching Arsenal play atm. I’m definitely bandwagoning though.

Non AFL Fav Sportsperson : Tiger Woods
3 dinner guests : Mitchell/Hodge/My Dad
Dream past sporting event : Unsure what this Q means but I’m guessing what event we would have liked to have seen that didn’t happen? - Maybe 2011 in a GF against the Cats like we should’ve been.
Life claim to fame : Was on The Block a couple times lol.
Next Hawk Flag : 2028 - I think we’re further away than we think unfortunately

 

[eldorado]

Age: 56

Height: 5'8"

Hobbies: Strangling small animals, golf and masturbating. (A bit dicey, I know...golf's not very popular around here)

Dream dinner party (alive or dead) - Richard Feynman, Marlon Brando, Spike Milligan, Bertrand Russell, Jimi Hendrix, Michelle Pfeiffer, Aldous Huxley

Fav all time player - Peter Knights

Current favourite: Punky

Favourite game ever attended: 2014 GF

Other sports: Soccer (sorry, Les..I mean futbol)

Claim to fame - Trying to mark Gary Ablett while he playing soccer for Drouin Dragons during his year off in the 80s (also against Chopper Handley a couple of years later, I think)

Dream past sporting event: 2005 Socceroos v Uruguay qualifier (had tickets, but couldn't go...the Aloisi pen was like hawthorn winning a GF after the siren...had to make do going crazy in Fed Square)

Other team: Athletic Bilbao

People you'd like to meet in a dark alley: Rupert Murdoch, Alan Jones, and everyone involved in making Married at First Sight, Love Island, and the Bachelor/Bachelorette series (maybe not all at once)

Next Hawk flag: 2025

 

[Blackhawk42]

Age : 32
Height: 5'9

Fav Hawks player of all time : Luke Hodge
Current fav Hawks player : Dylan Moore

Fav GF : Can't split 08/14
(I'm guessing it's meant to relate to Hawthorn, but 2016 is alongside these two. Dad is a lifelong Dogs fan and I got to watch it from a pub in Munich just after I landed overseas for the first time ever. Incredible memories).
Fav game ever attended : Vs Fremantle 2014 (Cyril... he'll caress it down someone's throat)

Other Sports : Cricket , BBL, Pro wrestling (if that counts).
Other Teams : Melbourne Renegades, Chicago Blackhawks (haven't followed it in years though).

Non AFL Fav Sportsperson : Matthew Wade, CM Punk
3 dinner guests: CM Punk, Vince McMahon, Tony Khan

Dream past sporting event : Any of our flags. Missed out on tickets to 2014 after coming second in a mega pub trivia.
Life claim to fame : Sung on stage with Parkway Drive, The Ghost Inside and Northlane.
Have a podcast about craft beer.
Still kicking the footy around in the bush with no plans of slowing down any time soon.

Next Hawk Flag : 2027

 

[The German Hunter]

Age: 56

Height: 5'8"

Hobbies: Strangling small animals, golf and masturbating. (A bit dicey, I know...golf's not very popular around here)

Dream dinner party (alive or dead) - Richard Feynman, Marlon Brando, Spike Milligan, Bertrand Russell, Jimi Hendrix, Michelle Pfeiffer, Aldous Huxley

Fav all time player - Peter Knights

Current favourite: Punky

Favourite game ever attended: 2014 GF

Other sports: Soccer (sorry, Les..I mean futbol)

Claim to fame - Trying to mark Gary Ablett while he playing soccer for Drouin Dragons during his year off in the 80s (also against Chopper Handley a couple of years later, I think)

Dream past sporting event: 2005 Socceroos v Uruguay qualifier (had tickets, but couldn't go...the Aloisi pen was like hawthorn winning a GF after the siren...had to make do going crazy in Fed Square)

Other team: Athletic Bilbao

Next Hawk flag: 2025

I certainly hope masturbating and strangling small animals are done at separate times

 

[Nugett]

I certainly hope masturbating and strangling small animals are done at separate times

I don’t, sounds like a good night. Now I’m hoping to get an invite to his dinner party!

 

[Judd2Sewell]

Three people for dinner:
Anthony Bourdain
Christopher Hitchens

And any of: Neil Degrasse Tyson, Arsene Wenger, Thierry Henry or Shannon Sharpe.

 

[Off The Couch]

Age : grey nomad
Height: 5'9
Fav Hawks player of all time : Crawf
Current fav Hawks player : JARS
Fav GF : 2008
Fav game ever attended : round 1 V Geelong 2015
Other Sports : Surfing, Basketball
Other Teams : Royals, Wildcats
Non AFL Fav Sportsperson : Steph Gilmore
3 dinner guests : Bowie, John Cleese, Amy Winehouse
Life claim to fame : Cones with Mainy
Next Hawk Flag : 2026

 

[Ned Ryerson]

Age: Early model Gen Y
Height: Paul Puopolo
Favourite Hawks player of all time: Sam Mitchell
Current favourite Hawks player: Blake Hardwick
Favourite GF: 2014
Favourite game ever attended: As per above - 2014 grand final.
Other Sports: Passing interest in most sports. Predominantly NBA, MLB and NFL. Follow the Raiders strongly but the rest of the NRL bores me these days.
Other Teams: Canberra Raiders, Boston Celtics, Seattle Seahawks, Seattle Kraken, NY Mets, Chelsea, Hibernian, Real Betis
Non AFL Favourite Sportsperson: Michael Jordan
3 dinner guests: Conan O’Brien, Colin Hay, Neil Finn.
Dream past sporting event: Any Bulls second threepeat finals win at the United Centre. To hear the crowd when they announced Jordan during the intros would have been intense.
Life claim to fame: One of the highest ever cash builders on The Chase Australia.
Next Hawk Flag: 2026/7

 

[Nugett]

This kind of reminds me of the old A/S/L thing you had in chat rooms in the mid 90’s early 2000’s before Social media killed everything, although you still had ICQ UhOh..

Let’s begin
Age 40ish still in denial of being past 40

Height 185 cm or 6’1

Fav player(s) all time. The Chief, Platts, Langerford snr. Sam Mitchell, Roughead, Cyril, Paul Salmon, Angelo Lekkas Micheal Tuck. I enjoyed Ritchie Vandeberg the player( Not so much the person who was on the board) But going to give a shout out to Darrin Pritchard, mainly because he played for Sandy Bay in Tassie.

Favourite grand final was 86. Helped ease the pain from 84 and 85, especially since my sister was an Essendon fan since then I’ve seen/remember watching another 8 premierships to her 4! Sibling rivalry at its finest!

Other sports/ activities I do enjoy hiking and heading around various places. Trying to improve my fitness to do the Stinson walk. Loved watching and playing snooker growing up. Was a huge fan of watching Stephen Hendry and Jimmy White. Also enjoy watching wrestling.

Other teams? There are other teams than Hawthorn?

Favourite Non AFL sportsperson: I’ve met David Foster a couple of times. Real nice fella and down to Earth. Jimmy White, he was absolutely brilliant to watch. Then overcoming his battle with testicular cancer.

Dinner party: anh Doh (read his book over Xmas, what his family went through to get here was amazing) also he can be quite funny. Kate Beckinsdale, loved her in underworld. Pink, brilliant entertainer.
Actually everyone is invited bar Prince Harry, Megan and Camilla and Donald Trump can’t be stuffed with their narcissistic melodramas. Host is Ricky Gervais, especially if he brings out his Golden Globe insults.

Claim to fame. Giving all of my past partners a Dutch oven?

Next hawk flag 2025

 

[Sixpence]

I certainly hope masturbating and strangling small animals are done at separate times

Not if you're choking the chicken.

 

[TylerDurden]

Not if you're choking the chicken.

Or spanking the monkey.

 

[Simon_Nesbit]

How do you follow on from that? Thread RIP?

 

[extractasam]

Age : grey nomad
Height: 5'9
Fav Hawks player of all time : Crawf
Current fav Hawks player : JARS
Fav GF : 2008
Fav game ever attended : round 1 V Geelong 2015
Other Sports : Surfing, Basketball
Other Teams : Royals, Wildcats
Non AFL Fav Sportsperson : Steph Gilmore
3 dinner guests : Bowie, John Cleese, Amy Winehouse
Life claim to fame : Cones with Mainy
Next Hawk Flag : 2026

I’m fascinated by the fav game pick - I was thinking about doing the same thing. In my mind that game, 2014 GF and the Fremantle GF rematch in 2014 are the 3 games that stick out to me in which we looked untouchable.

The RD 1 2015 game in particular though we were zinging the ball around at some speed

 

[grumbleguts]

Age : 57
Height: 5'7"
Fav Hawks player of all time : Lethal Matthews
Current fav Hawks player : Changkuoth Jiath
Fav GF : 1989
Fav game ever attended : 1987 preliminary final against Melbourne where Gary Buckenara goaled after the siren to put us in the GF.
Other Sports : Cricket, Sepak Takraw,
Other Teams : My son loves the Brooklyn Nets so I watch them with him.
Non AFL Fav Sportsperson : Andrew Gaze.
3 dinner guests : Jean-Marie Lehn, Carl Sagan, David Gilmour
Dream past sporting event : The 1948 Invincibles tour of England or the 1961 grand final.
Life claim to fame : Sport Bowling at Graeme Yallop, and being bowled to by Rodney Hogg; Music Having Dizzy Gillespie over to dinner at my family's house when I was 12; Science: Spent 90 minutes alone with Jean-Marie Lehn. Acting Am very close friends with John Tui who played Bolg in the hobbit movies and was the first person to play two different power rangers, and starred as "Beast" in the movie "Battleship"; My own I hold a world record.
Next Hawk Flag : 2026

 

[KermitJagger]

Age: 29
Height: 185cm
Fav Hawk: Luke Hodge
Current Fav Hawk: Sic
Fav GF: 2014
Fav Game Attended: 2014 Prelim
Other Sports: Basketball, UFC, occasionally cricket, powerlifting, strongman
Other Teams: Nil, just enjoy watching great basketballers or sports people regardless of team
Fav Non AFL Sports Person: Nikola Jokić or John Haack
Three Dinner Guests: This is an extremely tough one... Werner Herzog, Zach Hadel and Anthony Huberman. I'd sub one out for Norm MacDonald if he were still alive.

 

[rjslcM]

Age: I joined BigFooty when I was 14 going on 15, as may be apparent to you in some of my most early posts.
Height: 6'0
Fav Hawks player of all time: Mitchell, although there are close seconds.
Current fav Hawks player: Want it to be Cam MacKenzie but love Newk, CJ, Sicily, Breust in no particular order.
Fav GF: 2008 - my first premiership witnessed as a 14/15 year old after growing up only seeing the Hawks struggling near the bottom of the ladder. 2013 was also great as its the only GF I’ve gone to live, was 19/20 years old and it was a big day.
Fav game ever attended: first game of footy with my dad, which was Carlton vs Port Adelaide. From memory, Fev kicked 6.
Other Sports: Tennis, Cricket, bit of UFC here and there. Also a passing interest in most. I don’t regularly watch any sport but footy. Sports I can’t tolerate include NRL and Baseball. Terrible sports.
Other Teams: RB Leipzig; Minnesota Timberwolves; Cairns Taipans.
Non AFL Fav Sportsperson: Hmm. Ciryl Gane? Or someone with an equally as inspiring story.
3 dinner guests: Neil DeGrasse Tyson; Warren Buffett; Jimmy Carr or another comedian to lighten Warren’s mood.
Dream past sporting event: Man City vs QPR 2012. Final game of the season. Man City need to win to win the championship. A draw will not do. They are 2-1 down in the 90th minute and do not look likely. Man City score in the 92nd and 94th minutes to win the Championship. Ridiculous.
Life claim to fame: not sure about this question but the only person to make me feel star struck was Buddy when I was 14, attended a member’s event in 2008, shook his hand and he signed my cap which I still have to this day. A bit cringe but my hand was shaking afterwards and I couldn’t believe it!
Next Hawk Flag: 2027

 

[KermitJagger]

There's now multiple people who have wanted Neil DeGrasse Tyson as one of their three Dinner Guests but I feel like he's a poor choice if you actually want to hear anything from your other two invitees.

 

[Judd2Sewell]

Age - 36

Height - 190cm

Favourite Hawk ever - Hodge

Current favourite Hawk - Sicily

Favourite Game in Attendance - 2014 GF

Favourite Sporting Moment - Arsenal's Invincible Season in 03/04 and the 2014 Flag.

Other Sports - NBA, NFL, World Game, Cricket.

Other Teams - Denver Nuggets (NBA) and Arsenal (EPL). I have no real team in the NFL, I find it less stressful to not be so invested. Though I'd say the Buffalo Bills are probably the team I root for the most ATM.

Non-AFL players -
NBA: Nikola Jokic (Nuggets), Hakeem the Dream (Rockets), Larry Bird (Celtics), Dwyane Wade (Heat).

NFL: Ed Reed (Ravens), Ray Lewis (Ravens), Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs), Aaron Rodgers (Packers), Aaron Donald (Rams).

Cricket: Mark Waugh, Carl Hooper, Damien Martyn, VVS Laxman, Brian Lara, Steve Smith, Ryan Harris, Mitchell Johnson.

Claim to fame - May have appeared on a few TV channels and Radio Shows due to a good Samaritan act back in 2021.

 

[mknaven]

Not a regular poster, but exciting stuff isn't exciting without bland comparisons.....
Age: Born in the 80s
Fav Hawks player of all time : Buddy.
Current fav Hawks player : Breust.
Fav GF : 2008 - my brother is a Cats fan and we watched it at a pub together. Lonergan got the 1st goal to a crowd murmur, but Changa got our first to an almighty roar. Since the place was packed, some ppl booked tables and I just happened to be next to an avid Bombers supporter who wanted to watch the Cats smash the Hawks.
Fav game ever attended : I have never been to Victoria..... have only watched games in WA vs Freo - all of which we *** lost, except for the 2008 game. Some memorable game attendance moments: in 2008, near the wing, I was telling Roger Hayden Cyril had him gone. Cyril was other side of the park, but Roger proceeded to tap the ball ~20m out of bounds even though he was clear (i am confident he heard me).
In the 2007 Ben cousins return game, after a Brent Staker ****-up and Sydney(?) goal, someone shouted "Misstaker" during the 45s break and the stadium from behind the goals (where this guy was sitting) all the way up to the wing laughed.
In 2014 (Hawks vs Freo), the crowd was always booing hawk players lining up for goal, but there was dead silence for a Pav shot in the 2nd or 3rd qtr, so I took the opportunity to shout "Postman Pav" which i am sure he heard, and he duly hit the goalpost. No one laughed.
Other Sports : eSports (DoTA)
Other Teams : Box Hill, Fremantle (gotta pick one if you live in WA. I'm sure other WA members are aware of the dribble WCE fans direct towards Freo), East Fremantle, Swan Districts, Tundra, EG, Team Spirit.
Fav non AFL Sportsperson : Leon Kirilin.
3 dinner guests : Elon Musk & two comedians; Chappelle, Gervais, any number would do.
Dream past sporting event : 2008 grand final or 2007 elimination final. Would have loved to have been there for either of those games.
AFL related claim to fame : Watched the 2013 GF in Fremantle. TV reporters interviewed me for ~45s pre-game and then asked me to taunt the crowd. Only the crowd taunt made the cut to the news.
Next Hawk Flag : Plenty of excitement around the unknown atm. 2028.

 

[Coach Killer]

7 People for Dinner: Don Rickles, George Carlin, Robin Williams, Rodney Dangerfield, Richard Prior, Dudley Moore, Mel Brooks

Celebrity Roast: Jesus

Disco or Rock: Disco

Meat or Veg: Meat

Flat Earth or Sphere: Sphere

Punch or mark from behind: Punch

Toilet Paper over or under: Under

Pizza with or without Pineapple: With

Meghan or Kate: Kate

Voice Yes or No: No

Dark or white Chocolate: White

Favorite Hawk player past: Cyril

Favorite Hawks player current: Will Day & CJ

Next Flag: This Year